That middle pic of Shaunie is CLASSIC. I love it! LoLoLoL. Scroll up. Look at it real quick & you will bust out laughing
Let’s all face it: “cliques” (especially girl cliques) are messy-no matter how:
neat, nice or how good they begin.
From the outside looking in, especially for us girls who could care less about
“cliquing up” etc., we love to judge them and point the finger at them.
But when it comes to pointing fingers and judging how someone else works, lives,
plays or socializes; the truth is-it’s not for us to “judge” but rather: accept.
People misunderstand “accepting” a thing for “agreeing” with a thing.
To accept a thing is to merely acknowledge that you recognize that there are other
things outside of what you do-that other’s do-regardless whether you agree or not.
Accept that just because someone does not socialize, play, work, or “clique up”
like we do; it does not make what they do (or how they do what they do) any better
or worse than us (and what or how we do what we do).
I said that as a sidebar mention about what I am about to blog about-so as to
remind those of us who aren’t “cliquish,” or roll with a posse of girls (and to
remind those of us who do-but think our way is any better or whatever) to put our
“silly posse/cliques” judgment guns down-because I am blogging about the issue within
in “the clique”-putting aside whatever I may think or feel about posse’s of girls and
stick to the issue/blog at hand without judgment them: these “BasketBall Wives.”
(I felt I had to preface that, because sometimes before I blog, I will have read so many
comments over the net-and the comments’ bullets go flying every direction, but mostly
straight from “judgment guns” that have each girls’ name on it-rather than what happened
or what the issue was).
So as I blog steering clear of that, I write in hope that my blog reader interprets it
for that-because we all are human and imperfect.
When I saw this heartfelt episode:
http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:uma:video:vh1.com:628784
...where Tami poured out her heart to the girls regarding them embracing and accepting her
in-I couldn’t help but empathize with what she expressed. I feel it was real, despite the
cameras and the fact that it is a “reality show.”
With regard to Evelyn confessing that she “dated” (and slept with) Tami’s (ex-husband),
(especially after listening to and being in receipt of such a heartfelt moment that Tami expressed);
how could you not feel compelled to lay it all on the table.
That was commendable-on Evelyn's part, because she didn't have to. And in my honest opinion,
their association hadn't "matured" enough for Tami to handle that kind of information (especially on camera).
The reality (of the reality) becomes this [seemingly blunt] but reality check:
Evelyn should have either kept that a secret that she Jennifer shared, or at least revealed it off-camera.
Hold your horses!
But that is the emotional side.
That is the: “woman-to-woman” side.
That is the: “if I truly had any intentions on a friendship between you and me blossoming once
these camera’s are off” side.
But, on the inside of the paint (the business/tv show side), that is where “reality-tv” and
the players in it-have big split-second decisions to make.
That is when something is so serious that it should be dealt with off-camera happens to make
good “tv” for the camera, however, does the most damage for the person/s involved when
the camera stops rolling and the lights go out.
What do you do?
I'll tell (like Shaunie-the executive producer showed you): you keep the camera’s
rolling-that is what you do.
For the love of friendship, yet, the business for television, the reality is that everybody
signed on for it.
And in signing on for it, you enroll (not just the side of you and life that you want to
glamorize or promote), but you also enroll your heart and quite possibly the darker and
unexpected surprises in your life too (depending on who the other players are and what their
relationship or connection is to you).
That is the harsh reality of when “reality” is on the television camera.
That is where “Reality TV” really gets “real.”
The reality of it all (when that camera is rolling and I am sure that
Shaunie-the executive producer of the show itself-would probably agree)-the hardcore fact is:
The main thing, is to keep the main thing: the main thing…
…And with that said (and done), let’s drop that bomb by having this Tami-Evelyn pow-wow on
camera...keep it rolling…
And this is what happened as a result:
http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:uma:video:vh1.com:628785
…(As a sidenote), I have to say that I think that Shaunie was so caught in
the middle of that fiasco in the worse way. And I truly think her empathy (for Tami) was sincere.
I feel that she was straddled the fence on having being closest to the “bad guy” in this
(Evelyn), yet, having been the “victim” and in the same predicament as Tami.
She felt her pain-especially around that 4:20-5:00 moment of the scene. That was a sad,
heartfelt girl to girl moment of care, empathy and understanding.
Also on the flip side of that. After reviewing that same previous video, I won’t waste
time scribing and belaboring the obvious:
• never expect any ball player’s wife (ex or otherwise) to believe that any woman
does not know the ball players marital status especially when you-yourself, were once
(almost married) to one yourself. Any wife (or almost-wife) knows how the “come up” game goes
with these dudes when these girls are on the “come up” on them. Any wife (or almost-wife)
knows that even in college, those type of girls know: the roster, these dudes’ stats and
how to be where they are going to be at even before these dudes step foot on campus soil-and
the same is true for these dudes when they reach the league. Let’s keep it real, Evelyn.
• never expect a human being who just ingratiated themselves to you to react in
any less the manner that Tami did with a lil’ buzz of alcohol, and probably having wished that
confession took place without the cameras on her
• (on or off camera): never tell a woman who you just confessed having slept with her
(then husband), that she was a “non-motherfuckin’ factor” back when you slept with him
(I cant lie-that was funny as hell. I fell out laughing. That line put a whopping on the notorious:
“Who Gone’ Check Me Boo.” But on a serious note, still-you can’t spew that kind of venom in a moment like
that and expect a halo, hymnal music and white wings to appear on the (wife or ex-wife) of the man you
slept with-you just can’t) LoL.
Henceforth, that is when “Reality TV” goes real: having Tami hurt and left with nothing left to
say but: “I can’t trust any of these bitches-that’s really how I feel/The only thing I am sure about,
is these bitches are not my friends and I gotta learn to face the truth about that.”
Well, let me give up the truth about it.
The reality of these types of “cliques,” is that none of them are really true friends (unfortunately).
And as harsh as it may sound, the life of being (as Tami so eloquently put it): “the bitch, the hoe,
the trick, or the jump-off,” of any ball player is a game in and of itself.
It’s a game within a game.
It’s like a culture and within the culture of its own subcultures:
• The wives/ex-wives.
• The fiancés/ex- fiancé’s
• The dancers/cheerleaders.
• The groupies.
In the greater scheme of things, a great majority of these kinds of “friendships”
are no different a game than the actual game/strategy that these husbands and fiancés are
playing (for real) that brought all these women together (for play).
It’s all a “game” nonetheless.
For the men-it’s physical scrimmage (team to team).
For the women; it’s social scrimmage (wives, ex-wives, fiancés, ex- fiancés, dancers,
cheerleaders & groupies).
It’s all still a game-but on two totally different playing fields.
The sad thing about women who step into a man’s “world,” is that while you can step into a man’s
“world” (whatever that “world” may be) with all our womanly mental and emotional faculties;
you still have to understand his “game,” (whatever that “game” may be-whether it’s on
the field or how he socializes).
And then you have to know how to play that game “accordingly.”
When these girls step into these ball-player’s world, and then set up shop socializing with
fellow ball-player’s significant others (ex or otherwise), it’s just like with anything:
The fruition, blossoming and flourishing of any thing is dependent upon the
foundation by which it was built.
Any ball players girl that you socialize with, is apart of the same (but different) type of “game.”
And just like it was because of a “game” that brought you all together, you cannot ignore the fact
that chances are there are going to be constant “games” in keeping these kinds of
“friendships” and associations together.
It’s a social scrimmage-survival of the fittest is only guaranteed for those built to champion it.
Unlike women, men can get caught up in the same type of situations (like Tami and Evelyn), but
what’s different about men versus women, is that those two men can (and MOST OFTEN always do)-carry
on and hang out (even though deep down inside, his emotions may feel another way).
Women (MOST OFTEN) cannot.
So, if you are not built for this “game,” (emotionally and mentally-like men are) do not expect
to reap from it: any fruit or blossoming.
If these women are anything smart, they have to associate themselves just like their
husbands and fiancé’s are playing their (real life game): by SEASON.
And if anything blossoms during that “season,” consider it a blessing.
However, do not expect anything more or anything less in order to avoid a bittersweet end.
A Girl in the World & the World in a Girl... 