A Girl in the World & the World in a Girl…

{May 8, 2011}   Just Another Mad Love Song Wrecking My Brain-Like Crazy.

A friend and I were talking.
She laughed at me, but still thought about it.
She couldn’t answer it, but couldn’t discount it…

You know that one song.
…that one endearing song that’ll remind you of a certain
moment in time or a certain person
(for whatever reason-platonic, romantic or otherwise).

What about songs of heartbreak? We have them (some-not).
For those of us who have experienced heartbreak,
we all have had at least one song that’ll remind us of that
heartbreak (or that moment) huh? We laugh (or some cry if the well hasn’t run dry).

Isn’t it funny how music (whether instrumental or w/lyrics)
universally moves us to some moment, thought or even to some action (to dance, nod etc).

In case you didn’t know it by now, I love music (instrumental or w/lyrics).
And well, why belabor the obvious-if I can paint a scene with the emotion
in my head from the lyrics that I see or hear-well then, I’m hooked.

As a writer, I fancy myself and “expressionist” because I am a
“treat-the-description-like-you’re sparing-an-expense-so-the-reader-can-ingest-it-in-full-slash-spare-no-details-in-the-detail”
kind of writer (and person).
Every single word’s of description has to POP! It has to count for something,
in order to derive something from the reader; move them to some kind of action (or reaction)…

I love to write and I love music because I can really smell, hear,
touch and taste what I read (if it’s good to me) and the same happens
for me when I write something.

Like watching a movie.
While I am describing something, I have to hear theme music when I’m writing it.
My heart has to flutter and beat a certain way or my lashes have to be batting controllably.
That is the same experience I have to put a reader through-or else I’m not satisfied.
Something physical, mental or emotional has to happen in order for me to be
satisfied with a description of scene in whatever I write.

So when I absorb a piece of anything that resonates with me,
I feel “stolen away,” if you will.

I believe that certain words, certain music and even certain spirits and energies
“find” you-especially when it comes to love and love songs.
You can’t go digging through crates looking for a love song that reminds
you of your love/r. That is forced, it just has to “happen.”
I think that love songs have to find you and then that song connects an energy
or spirit to you. That feeling that you feel is like theme music from inside-out.

You think?

But is it: “like (infatuation),” “love” or “lust?”

I remember when I was a very young girl, the very first love song I heard and
comprehended nearly put me in a trance.
It was a song about a love song, but about a love-long (if that makes any sense to you).
The lyrics: “If we can be the best of lovers, yet, be the best of friends.
If we can try with everyday to make it better…As it grows…With any luck…Then I suppose:
the music…never ends…”
had me stunned.
Because if you substitute the word: “love” for “music,” you will understand this
whole point I am making in this blog (as you read on).


It wasn’t until I grew up and understood “love” that the song resonated with me.
(I probably should have italicized “me”) because of my lil’ theory about (love) songs:
Some part of me can’t help but wonder that if a person is in “like” and a love song “finds”
them that reminds or intertwines their love/r in it…


Don’t laugh at me like me friend did. And don’t judge me-please.

…But, like in the “details” of the lyrics of my favorite first love song (above mentioned),
will that love last (long)?

I know it may sound corny, but if anyone loves and is always curious about “love,”
(the idea of it, the act and expression of it): it’s me. Let me tell it, I will give
cupid or any other goddess’ of love a run for their arrows and harpsichord as long as I am
alive: liking, lusting or loving…

Laugh at me, but I feel justified, fearless (and somewhat entitled) on my thoughts about
love because I’m not like most people when it comes to being in denial about separating
like/infatuation from lust from love.

Most people are not willing to admit their hedonism and transgressions (when they happen).
They come up with these romanticized and almost “spiritual-like” reasons to camouflage
what was really moments of: lust or infatuation rather than just calling it what it is
(or was), getting caught up into emotional and mental situations-chasing and trying to
make “love” of lust, like or infatuation.

Any other definition than what it was-will do (for most people) when all we have to do
is ask-just to be clear on “where are we going with this?”…

As I grew to understand what love really is, I’m never in denial or unclear about
either one-I’m painlessly honest about it to myself, and to whom it may concern…

So with that, I feel somehow that I have some inalienable right to speak on it.

If I’m in “like,” I can admit that-I don’t try and make “love” of it.

If I’m in lust or infatuated, I can admit that too, without telling myself that it is
“love” (if it is not).

So, if I feel love or I am “in love,” I know it-I can (and will) admit that-open and

I don’t confuse like, infatuation, lust or love just to satisfy my or someone else’s:
comfort, ego or heart in order to steal away with my moment, or to create one for
them…so let me have the floor why don’t you!

If you let me tell it and teach a class on love, I would probably interject this
romantic “love” prerequisite in order to tell if what you feel is really “love:”
Your love/r has to fit at least one song just as sure as Cinderella’s slipper
fit her foot! And both must have found the other!…Then it’s real…”

Laugh now…

Sure-I laugh at myself too, but I couldn’t help but ponder the thought about it
because I looked at it like this.
We’ve all loved a couple or few people in our lifetime, some-madly.
But when we think about it-not every one of those “loves” of ours-“came with a song” did they?
It just didn’t work out like that did it?
Or did you ever think about that?

I’m curious…

I stare at people who [are, or think] they’re in love.

I talk to people and ponder when they talk about love.
It’s so hard to talk about “love” I think because it’s a “walk” about love.

Walk with me on this:

Have you ever sat in a movie theatre and watched a movie with no sound-no music?

Could you enjoy a movie without the sound of music?

How could that work?

Keep laughing like my friend did, but I think that music is our theme song of a life of love,
just as much as love for life and living is. It’s like a vessel-a lifeline to our heart.

Songs of heartbreak do their own thing. They serve their purpose. They soothe our broken hearts;
rub and love all the hurt away.

Love songs do their own thing too. They make us feel good at the moment we hear those love songs
that reach us (even for no apparent reason or connection to another person).
Those are those love songs that we discover by accident-by turning on the radio or someone
turning us on to them.

But do the love songs that find us when we are in “like,” differentiate whether we are
in “like and infatuated” or “in lust?”

I wonder…

I’m not superstitious and my feet are firmly planted to the ground when it comes to “love,”
but some part of me can’t help but wonder that if a love song finds you + an energy or spirit,
and you both happen to be “in “like (or infatuated) with one another, does that differentiate
whether what we are feeling is really love, or lust?



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