A Girl in the World & the World in a Girl…











{September 24, 2011}   The 80-10 Rule.



Most often, we have a tendency to think that it’s a kind of “spiritual spell”
that we send out into the universe to place upon another person that we “feel”
has harmed or hurt us. We tend to think that is Karma’s main role.

Rarely do we contemplate the notion that her purpose and mission is also
something that is a result of choices that we make, or a message or a lesson
that she wants to give us-just as much as the blessings we are so used to
attributing her in thanks for.

I had what I considered to be a “life altering” experience that plagued me for years.
And during those years, I think I “carried a big knife” of Karma wishes for the person
that I felt was the reason behind all that I had gone through
(as a result of my response to the trauma that originally started off on a level playing field).

I have a motto: “if you don’t want to slip or get caught slipping, stay away from slippery places.”
Sometimes however, you won’t know that you are in a slippery situation until slippery happens.

Well, slippery happened. And the unfortunate part about it is that I was the one
without the “power” in the situation. In dealing with people (especially in non-business)
having the “power” in a situation should never be an issue unless someone has ill-tent
or if ill occurs.

Well, ill occurred. And the one with the power in the situation took everything to
a whole new level that was way over my head and in no way could defend and no one
else (uninvolved) could even entertain the thought of (much less-understand).
The more I put the person as out of control as I could, they turned it up each
step of the way until I was backed into a corner. They thought it was cute, clever
and so covert that they handled it all as if I was locked in some underground
basement that was miles away from life and civility and should just deal
with it-because there was no where to run, hide or yell out to.

That angered me. That is when I had to think of a master-plan: fight back
with the only resource and ability that I had to fight back with, which
involved “beating ‘em in their own neighborhood” (so to speak).

Well, I got results (somewhat) in that it lessoned their “power” (somewhat).
They knew it was not in their best interest to be so brazen with me in ways
that they were in the beginning. Because although I did not have the “power”
or resources to (literally) beat ‘em in their own neighborhood, the steps that
I did take, put me on their soil (in ways they never entertained the thought I had in me to do).

Though I got results (somewhat), eventually it plagued my life in ways that
I not only didn’t anticipate, but didn’t carefully “map out.” Because I only wanted
freedom from the situation and to get it eradicated, I didn’t feel that I had to
“map out,” premeditate or lie about anything in order for the truth to set
me free from them. But it didn’t work that way. What I sought out to be free
from turned more into a sensational happening to the eyes of others,
whereas my mind and reasoning behind getting it dealt with were
far from “sensational.”

It was a nightmare.

Seeing as though I could tell that no one was going to have any
interest in seeing the situation as serious as it was (from my mind’s eye),
I began to present it to anyone what I felt could free me from it, in a way
that would be “sensational” to them. I was desperate by this time.
Because every passing day, it seemed like this person’s mess was all
cleaned up-yet, the both of us knew that they hadn’t and weren’t going to walk away.

I could not believe it.

Every day, I nearly woke up and went to sleep “praying” to be in the know
when Karma’s shoe was going to drop in that person’s life. I refused to live
with the fact that this person blew into and through my life like a storm
(uninvited) and got was getting away with it (unscathed).

All that was left after the storm was: the sensation, the skepticism and me.
My life was ruined as a result. Because the truth that I defended and fought
with in comparison to their “power” over the situation-made everything look
like it was probably my imagination or an over-exaggeration of what really
occurred.

No matter how far I had gotten with my results, deep down inside of me,
I could not live with the fact that the person was not punished. I needed to know,
to see and to witness Karma in action in order for me to be satisfied.

(Many of us) think that once we call upon Karma to get at people that we feel have
caused us harm, we must also oversee her work[ings].

No slaying dragon fantasy of how it should be done in our heads is further from her
spiritual realm of reality (that she is in control of).

What I learned about Karma is that though she is not blind, she is deaf
(to our cries and calls to her). Almost like “talking too [her] hand.” How do I know this?

I met her.

She’s this little white-haired, wise old-lady who sits in a wooden rocking chair
behind a one-way, sound-proof window with her legs crossed-flipping through the
pages of her itinerary as if she is flipping through the pages of a magazine;
finding out who’s naughty, and who’s nice. Because she knows that she is coming to town…

She’s not a friend any more than she is a foe to you, or to me.

She has no attachment to either one of us. No “favorites.” No “least favorites.”

She’s less interested in us-individually, and more interested in us in relation to
the world, the universe, and other people and things co-existing with us.

She’s merely an unbiased universal gate-keeper who rewards, reminds and runs the
reaping of what we’ve sewn (positive or negative, bad or good).

Whatever is relativity true, false or so (from person to person), is concretely:
true, false, or so (to her and her only). That’s her role. She is the universal
go-between and the referee of all that we debate and have tug of wars about.
She is the final decision maker who rings the bell (to begin), or throws in the
towel (to make an end).

Man down.

After awaking from a haze of what I assumed was the gist of Karma’s ways, clarity
came into view and this I learned was true: Karma’s spirit is kind of like that
saying that goes: “life is 10% of what happens to you and 80% of how you respond to it.”
That 80% is the sum of the pain you’ll collect, the lesson, the blessing, the demise,
the rise, the fall-all that. Because that 10% is: none of our business, out of our
control and the [good or bad] workings of Karma.

So all the while, I was standing behind that window, beating on it-trying to tell
her how I wanted her to come down on that person, what I learned is that you do not
call shots for Karma-she calls her own. She does things her own way and by her own
time-as she is related to Father Time. Her secret about how and when she is going to
do whatever it is she is going to do is between herself and “To Whom it Concerns.”
Karma is and never will be any of our business. I learned that they hard way.

In order for you to keep your sanity, and live a life with any semblance of normalcy,
you have to adopt the 80-10 rule and respect that fact that She runs that 10% and You
have a whole 80% to deal with and live with. Take from that-lessons or blessings and make
lemonade out of lemons with a life of your choosing: bitter, sweet or both.

I chose to make it sweet. So pour some sugar on me.

The only way I could make peace with the situation was to see make the “sweet” of it.

Had I not had that episode in my life, I never would have known who my real and true friends
were, from who really wasn’t. Everybody is a friend when things are well and smooth sailing.
But it is the traumatic times in our lives when you are able to see true colors shine through
or fall back. I was grateful to the episode for giving me that lesson. As a result, I changed
my life around and re-arranged my definition of what a “friend” is and became more careful
about who I gave that title to. Luckily “BFF” became a substitute for “friend,” because if
it weren’t for that, I would’ve been down to 3 “friends.”

Pour some sugar on me.

The “sweet” of it made me stronger. Although I can admit that it altered my personality
somewhat, it did so in areas that I really needed and otherwise, would never know.
And from it, I learned the lesson that you get it how you live it. That’s with everything.
From getting the results of something from the level you live it, down to getting the life
you want to the level of how you live it (as well).
That put fire under my but and took me from a mundane level of comfort and complacency,
and forced me to BE about what I TALKED and as well: DREAMED about.

The only freedom in this life that you really have is the access and options that you have in it.

Pour that sugar all on me.

In order for me to stay sane, I had to make my bitter turn sweet by letting go-and letting
Karma work her hand-if and whenever she saw fit.

So what do I know about Karma?

I know that Karma’s spirit is like a field of seeds, gardens or weeds: lessons,
messages or blessings, but not ours to “pick” from.

So the floral of the story is this:

I spent years of my life, fighting a battle that wasn’t mine in the first place.
And while I was so busy on a crusade to join forces with Karma in getting the person
back for what I felt they put me through, years had passed and that person had sealed
their own fate and demise-without my help, after all. The curtains they brought down
onto themselves had nothing to do with me (after all), but rather, what they had done
to me was a debt they owed to Karma-who finally paid ‘em a visit
(after all and on her own time). I didn’t even realize that person had their meeting
with Karma already because I was too busy trying to make Karma my ally and slay the
dragon the way I saw fit (in my head). Years had passed and she had already come to
town and did what she came to do and was now behind that sound-proof one-way window;
sitting in her rocking chair, reviewing her itinerary and done with the both of us
(my nemesis and me).

It took a long time and my quality of life and personality to be shifted somewhat,
for me to finally realize that I still had a whole 80% to work with (after all).
And although Karma didn’t slay the dragons the way I wanted to (from scene in my head),
she still handled her functions in my nemesis’ life in ways that I never could have
imagined-nonetheless (after all).

So all was not lost, and I’m working on and with that, as I write-right.

Right now? Score: 80-10.

Stay tuned…

MEET ANGELA SHERICE
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