A Girl in the World & the World in a Girl…












2013_stopwatch_620x350Spend your New Year thinking, feeling, and doing all great things
for you-by remembering next year…how right now…you are spending
the end of your year focusing too much energy on people and things you
say you are not bringing into your New Year.

Stop going through the year-end motions about things you should have put
in motion mid-year, so that you are (right now) sharing your mind and your
time only with whom you intend to share your New Year!

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angie2004
MEET ANGELA SHERICE



{December 24, 2012}   Day. Discipline. Deciding.


It’s a little bit like a Monday or a day in life:
We may have to slay a lot of dragons in which we might
have to kick @$$ & taking down many names (or vice versa)
while disarming and nunchucking, but in the end
when the walls close down; there’s power in the
discipline of deciding what your next move will
be.

Happy Monday. 🙂

MEET ANGELA SHERICE
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{December 22, 2012}   Love and War.


Check the memo:
11158709-text-all-is-fair-in-love-and-war-written-by-hand-font-on-bunch-of-colored-sticky-notes (1)
All is fair in Love and War when:
Love is really Love
and when
War is really War.

We declare Love.
We declare War. love

When it comes to people you love, and who you know loves you
when angered about an action; roll up on with whom you are
concerned with the the strength of 1000 men.
Go through hell and high water to get your clarity
and answers rather than coming down on them like a ton of bricks
then asking questions later. That’s declaring war…

And that kind of combat should be reserved for our enemies, not for
people who truly care + have declared: LOVE for us.
love-and-war-cover

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MEET ANGELA SHERICE




Early this morning, something came across my eyes that brought
the same tear to it that it did a little over a month ago when
I saw it. It was a conversation between two people that at the time;
prompted me to want to blog about and although the conversation was
in public view (because it was still between two people) I just
blogged about it in my mental rolodex, clutched my chest in empathy,
wiped the lil’ from my eye and kept it moving. (In matters of the heart
believe it or not, I’m a little softer than I seem, I’m just hard-minded
at times).

At any rate.

This morning however, a copy and paste of that same conversation was
posted from the blogger to solicit dialogue/comments on and high and
behold; you know I already had something to say about it (because of
the way it reached me a month and a half ago).

So here I am-it’s all our business now.

It was conversation between rapper Wale and a blogger. He was talking about love
being “too dangerous” and counterproductive right now and for him-he didn’t trust
anybody right now. He stated he had tried but it didn’t work, and how “love” makes
“people” (him) too vulnerable. He said he just wasn’t comfortable with it.

Interestingly, last night, while I was writing into the wee-hours of the morning,
I posted this SHORT POEM to my blog
in which a freestyle/poem came to my mind-my speaking in first person
[like I speak from in pretty much all my work] to a guy who lives a fast
life and loves a girl who too, loves him back yet everytime she feels like he’s getting
to the point where he can relax and put his guns down with her, she gets happy (because
that’s her number one concern with him): his happiness and being that person away from
his fast life to give him the comfort, love, and security that he needs, but still be able
to function in his fast life (but with the security that she is good to him-with or away
from him). But he always pulls the rug from underneath her feet and knocks her back down to
square one and they just can’t get it right because of his trust issues, which what it all
boils down to-is a direct result of the fast life that he lives.

This conversation of Wale’s reminded me of such a scenario so much so that in my writing
the poem last night, what Wale was confessing in this conversation he was having seemed…surreal
to what I was [in first-person] writing a poem about.

God works in mysterious ways, and I’m glad that the blogger happened to have posted the exchange
this morning because it is a subject that is brushed over so much and accepted
as apart of the lifestyle of somebody like Wale’s yet, what does that do to his heart, his mind?
What happens to him when the lights are turned off, sweat wiped and the silence begins?

Is “love” (in Hip-Hop) REALLY counterproductive?

So let’s get to the heart of it all.

You see, it’s kinda like I just mentioned my needing to write in “first-person” in all my
work and my short poem (that too, is related to this essay’s subject matter)
…As an artist, most of the best work is delivered with a kind of texture that is unmatched
when it is delivered [if not first person], from a standpoint of personal experience, true account,
or that which has been tried, witnessed, tested, proven or disproved.

The rap game is a subculture that in many ways, adheres to the same codes of the streets.
Regardless what you may feel about “the streets” (or the rap game), it is no less a subculture and
lifestyle than the one you live and ascribe to as well. One of the biggest codes of (both games) that
I am speaking of, is that it’s not very wise to talk about living a life in the streets that you are
not living-any more than it is not wise to talk about living a life in the rap game (through your music)
that you are not truly living (in your real life outside of the studio and off the stage).
That could get you ostracized to a level unredeemable.

So when you are rapping about fast women and all those things that come with it, you had better be
living it just as sure as if you rap about fast cars and other materialisms–you had better be able
to prove those things are yours, un rented (should you be called on it).

“KEEPIN’ IT REAL.”

As silly as that may sound to the average person, those kinds of “truths” (that one claims to be
living/doing/having) are a kind of metaphor connected to your credibility (and your worth and value)
in the rap game (or streets). If you can “put up” and “put out” about all that you say you are,
what you have, and what you do; then you are somewhat “initiated”-left alone and can be trusted
(in that regard). The “problem” is, you have to keep putting out like that-it has to become
apart of your complete lifestyle just as sure as getting up everyday and bathing has to be apart of
yours, mine and everybody’s lifestyle-it has to be done. And so, the “lifestyle” begins and all that
comes with it…

Because of that [kind of lifestyle] when it comes to “love,” love in hip-hop (to street guys, and guys
in the rap game) “love” is an altogether different kind of “love” than the way the average guy living a
traditional lifestyle (less the fast women/cars etc) lives.

Women (fast women) are VERY necessary to this lifestyle as all the “necessaries” to being in the
lifestyle are too, necessary. They go hand in hand.

I’ve studied pop culture and music through to back in the days before I was ever twinkle in my mom
and dad’s eye. And the interesting dichotomy that I found was that as compared to today, when it came
down to the fast women who were the groupies of yesteryear, they truly did “[come] through,
she brought food, she got fucked, she know what’s up,” (like a popular rap lyric says in a song today).
The girl (then) got high with the guys, rode the tour bus around here and there, went home, met back
up with them in some other town, some other night-same bat time, same bat channel. And this thing would
go on and on until whenever. Most all groupies of yesteryear did that-they understood, and were okay
with that.

*CUE THE ROCKSTAR MUSIC*

For the rockstar men (of yesteryear) the drugs, the sex, and rock and roll were magnets to the women who
they all pretty much in agreement and knew: “time spent with me is time spent with you.” It was all apart
of the business [of the pleasurable kind] for the men (and the fast women). And the end of the night
(or morning) there was no-harm, no-foul.

As time progressed, recessions began, economic statuses have changed; therefore the culture of music
(and the music itself) too, changed. People are growing more impatient with having, and doing things
the slow way in these fast times. These changes (in the hip-hop culture I’m speaking of now)
brought out a whole new sleuth of fast women who would rather die than wear a label called “groupie,”
whereas the groupies of yesteryear wore the title like a badge of honor yet, they all did (and do-now)
the same things.

Therein lies the problem where “love” and hip-hop is concerned.

*CUE THE RAP MUSIC*

As time progressed groupies came out in droves. The internet wasn’t available to civilians as yet and
during that time, being wherever any rap-star would be was all a matter of knowing when they would be in
town, saying (and doing) the right to the right hand-man (or entourage member), and you could come along
for the ride and do whatever. Unlike yesteryear, these times were laden with women with a bigger game plan:
To go half on a baby. The stories would be unbelievable but damned sure true. Some worked out (as planned)
others didn’t-but the bottom line was, these guys knew the game. In the middle of their lifestyle:
trying to create and “keep it real” these women became very much a distraction (but of the necessary kind).
There is no rap lifestyle without the women. There is nothing to rap about (that would sell)
without actually having those experiences with these women… (That is: If you’re really about keepin’ it real)…

*CUE THE RAP MUSIC—LOUDER*
In made available the internet. Gone, are the days where the groupies were trying to get pregnant-uh un.
The internet has brought them all closer to their target than ever before. They want to look cute
for pictures now. The only busting out these females want to bust out at is at the ass, titties
and the hips-that’s it: by any means and costs necessary. It’s the way of the game.
Even the surgery for it all has gone underground now. It’s a full-on covert operation and
these rap dudes at war. The groupies got a bigger game now and a little more wiggle room
than ever before.

The influx of lesser quality television gives rise to lesser important news.
The media masses are now reporting “news” today for the sake sensationalism, ratings and
culture shock. This afforded the groupies of this lifestyle a different way in:
Get the guy, keep your eye on a couple of others. Make fake friends in-industry and outside
of industry [who too are all doing the same thing to greater and lesser degrees].
And viola! They’re on television, all over the blogs and various internet gateways.
Their new lives have just begun, but the romance is not over (not just yet).
They got more work to do.
(*cues the music: “Pussycat” by Missy Elliot’)
“Pussy don’t fail me now. I gotta turn this nigga out. So he don’t want nobody else, but me and only me.”

These girls are giving these rap dudes good times in their lifestyle; providing them with
all the “keepin’ it real” material necessary to rap and write about. It’s on and poppin’
right now. Strip clubs, industry parties, private parties, after-parties, video shoots,
Snoop rapping over speakers-art imitating life: “Every other city go. No matter I go,
I see the same hoes.”

Drakeness over the speakers chiming in: “I don’t judge her. I don’t judge her.
But I could never love her ’cause to her I’m a rapper and she will have met another.”

Both: “Keepin’ It Real”: Life imitating art. Art reflecting life…

These rap dudes are fallin’ in and out of infatuation and fascination with so many women they can’t
keep up with them. Before they can grip them long enough to attempt anything solid; she’s already
made her way through the industry and put up an online account where the lost souls of the audience
give her audience because she was the former girlfriend of Rap Star A and now the new girlfriend
of Rap Star B. She’s an insta-star now. Famous for being with the famous and now she’s famous-that’s it.

It’s really war-zone now, and the “Wale’s” all know how it goes down. So they shut down…and become numb
(like he said in their exchange)
…The closest thing to connect to her are the words over the speakers chanting out from his heart that although
he wish could happen and be true, he knows-won’t happen so instead he let’s the song cry from own pen:
“And before the sun graze ya I’m tryna see how deep you are and believe me Shawty..I ain’t talking
’bout no intimate conversation..I wanna see if I can make you reach things unattainable when I peek into
your nature. And I promise you my goals will exceed any physical pleasure I wanna give you what’s better
than better. The better my effort, the wetter her treasure…the more these mere moments seem like heavens
or temporary forevers. Shawty get it together. Shawty get it together.”

Numbing the feel…

It’s all apart of the lifestyle now and they collect the pain, keep the kush on the deck and
continue to keep it real. By this point and time, this cycle is a day-in-and day-out process.

*CUE THE SILENCE*

Meanwhile back at the ranch is the one girl he’s got tucked away. Some girl he didn’t meet at
a strip club, industry party, a private party, an after-party or a video shoot. She’s just some
girl doing her thing, in no way interested in his pop life-he’s just her prince, and he loves
her to life and adores her. He can tell her things he would dream of telling no other woman.
He can cry to her. He continuously tries with her, and does everything he can and even refuses
to lie to her. He loves her, but doesn’t quite know how to trust her in ways to catch up with
how he continuously tries-like he’s chasing his own tail. The life he lives won’t let him lay
all his trust on the line for her. She’s still a woman just like all the others are-regardless
his love for her. He holds on to this part of his resistance in an effort to “keep it real”
so as to not deviate too far from the life he lives. He needs a little bit of that
so he doesn’t go “soft”—it’s “counterproductive.”

Love is counterproductive… ” (says Wale).

So the most commitment he can offer his tucked girl away right now is solace in the fact that
“she’s not like the rest of ‘those’ girls.” The ones he’s used to. The ones he goes after,
the ones that go after him. The ones he parties with. The ones that are actually very much apart
of his life more than he will ever sit in silence to think about and consider being so…

To alleviate the guilt he feels for knowing he has not put it down with her completely, like Wale,
he lets a song cry in his head too-fantasizing about the day he takes a deep breath and is brave
enough to cry with the introduction to its words
So, I typed a text to a girl I used to see, sayin that I chose this cutie pie with whom I wanna be.
And I apologize if this message gets you down, then I cc’d every girl that I’d see-see ’round town
and, I hate to see y’all frown but I’d rather see her smiling. Wetness all around me, true, but I’m no
island Peninsula maybe, makes no sense I know, crazy. Give up all this pussycat that’s in my lap no
lookin’ back?”

Little does she know, he often fantasizes about that day happening but he’s scared.
Deep down inside, he’s got too much too risk.
“Love is counterproductive… ” (says Wale).

Unfortunately, on one of those days where Little Miss Tucked Away is all cried out and thought through,
he goes back to chasing his tail and telling her that he thinks it can work out. She proceeds to tell
him what she thinks’ll happen with the two of them if all the things that came with “love” were to be
something he impulsively acted on: He’ll eventually grow to resent her because that’s the life that gave
him “life” and fed his ego to degrees that one woman back home simply loved by him, cannot contend with.
That is a reality.

So to be fair to them both, the best thing they can do is to be counteractive in order to counterbalance it all.

That would mean Little Miss Tucked Away understanding that his lifestyle is going to be what it is:
Girls will be around. No kicking and screaming, serial-texting and excessive unnecessary pressure
and other types of silliness as a trade-off for him not only be considerate for what he has back home;
but being SMART ENOUGH to mingle and handle all those same girls as the BUSINESS that they are:
“necessary” to his lifestyle, but consider the fact that you’ve got your PLEASURE (that truly knows and loves you)
at home-someone who has no interest in being where you’re at, partying where you party, living life how you
live it BUT while making her own way doing her own thing.

Granted, not all “Wale’s” have a Little Miss Tuck Away, but it does not excuse the fact that you still need
a remedy for counteraction and counterbalancing-you have to use your head (the one on your shoulders) a little
better by opening your own eyes to see what’s really going on in your world and in your lifestyle.
Stop point the finger at the “necessary” girls who are out here surviving and taking care of
“necessary business” (with your permission and invite).

Those “necessary” girls today (that again, are a package deal with the lifestyle), aren’t like the groupies
in days of Jagger and Steven Tyler/Aerosmith, a lot of the old RnB -all those groupies in their day
genuinely wanted to stroke their egos, get high, have sex and go home. Period. They found joy
in that. There was no trickery and hidden agendas.

It’s a different time right now and groupies have evolved with the changes in time, but it’s the
“Wale’s” who are “counterproductive”: still laying back like the cats in the Jagger day’s (enjoying all this)
but not understanding that now (unlike then) it’s serious BUSINESS for these girls and you have to open
your eyes and look at “the business” like it’s a game of “Survivor” (the tv show): You dump all these men and
women on an island where a million dollars is to be gotten and it’s going to be a whole lot of snuffing out
until that million dollars is gotten.

In the lifestyle of the “Wale’s” you are dumped on and island where everybody’s looking to strategize and win
that million dollars-no matter how dirty they gotta play. Some hearts and heads are gonna roll and some fires
are gonna be snuffed the eff out.

The fact still remains-you keep mingling in the lion’s den of survivors thinking that within that lion’s den,
you’re going to find that little kind kitty that won’t bite (or break their ally with you in order to get
close to that million).

Aint gonna happen.

It is counterproductive to think that you can keep mingling with “business” in search of pleasure and think
that you are somehow going to find an ally of loyalty and trust in somebody who’s in search of a million
dollars without something to trade, sell, or offer (other than sex, a big body, butt, and smile).

CLUE: ANYTHING WHERE THE MONEY IS FAST, YOU GOTTA DO “FAST” THINGS TO GET IT.

Anybody who is wherever you:
• Party
• Mingle
• Congregate
…that’s not there with any literal business by which you do business, is there on a different
kind of business (under the guise of pleasure).

thYou see, while they’re lovin’ the crew, you can’t be in a Jagger-like 60’s daze in this
New Millennium haze. And when you don’t open your own eyes to see that you are seeking, looking,
attracting, permitting, or inviting “love” [in although necessary ego-boosting convenient but wrong places];
you are going to KEEP finding your fire getting snuffed out to that same point of “numbness” (like Wale).

So yes, “love” can be COUNTERPRODUCTIVE…but only when what you have is really not love.

Often lost on a lonely highway, love (like clarity) is found on a two-way street.

When it’s real love, you COUNTERBALANCE it with COUNTERACTION whether it be as a single man
(making better choices in women, where you make your choices or get chosen), or whether it
be with a Little Miss Tucked Away on your team.

Don’t just drop the mic on “Keepin’ it Real” at the part where you neglect to see what part
you played in the Game too, it’s a two-way street. And when you only consider the
“counterproductive”—which is like…that line in the center of that two-way street; you
neglect to consider there are two other sides of that line that you must see (for clarity)
and when you don’t, you make your own heart and other people pay for it when you don’t consider
both sides of that Game + humbly keep this fact in mind in the hazy mist of all your fortune and fame:

There’s only so much sex with so many exotic women , places, styles, and positions you can have it.

There’s only so many exotic places you can go, and live-expensive clothes, fancy cars.

There’s only so many delicacies you can consume that all this wealth and fame can buy to keep you happy and on temporary forevers.

After marinating on that, and coming to terms with that reality; the bonus is securing the LOVE of someone who:
• Truly loves you
• Truly cares for you
• Is truly concerned for you

It changes that Wanderlust to “Wonder”…forever (and that’s definitely productive).

So make your money and your music, and all that comes with that.

But aside from that-make your real, good love.

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MEET ANGELA SHERICE



{December 17, 2012}   #DescribeYourLifeInAPicture.

th

58908_1384406814345_752727_n

481494_468592939848501_467763123_n

fashionandyou-doze-of-love

rear-view-mirror-reflection

©Dec2012AngelaSherice

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No You’re Not Allowed To Talk To Me Unless We’re Fuckin’

3754015-silhouette-over-white-with-clipping-path-man-with-megahorn--bullhorn-yelling-at-womanYou lost that privilege to talk to me
Walk with me
Stay up all night
Permission to hawk me
Cry with me
Die with me
Lie to me
Or try with me
Text to me
Get vexed at me
Agenda
Splendor
In-checks with me

Whatever it is you speak when we’re not fuckin’
Yes, I’m turning a deaf ear to (I’m duckin’)

So while you got all these built up feelings that flow like The Niagara
You’d ‘better be filling up that blue bottle of Viagra

R. Kelly sang it best
But I’ma do a remix of it for your chest:

“I might be used to you spending. And all that sweet wining and dining. Well I’m fucking you for life”

10190590-silhouette-of-broken-relationship-between-young-man-and-womanI decided.
Don’t think I wanna be your wife, homie, lover, friend.
Sounds funny huh? (coming from a woman to a man)…

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MEET ANGELA SHERICE



{December 16, 2012}   You Like Hoes Tho.


nightlifeYou Like ‘dem “Basic Hoes.”
Basic “Hoes” that do
-basic shit
-with basic strategies
-in search of and after exceptional shit

That’s cool, can’t help what you like.
The problem is
You like the kind that see “power” in late nights and flights

You can’t expect loyalty and trust in liking “hoes” with no heads
Nothing to show but asses in bed

Pussy to sell + wanna be where you’re at… losangeles-nightlife-image-1000

Conditioning yourself to think that somewhere within that
thCAXAI7T7You’re gonna find loyalty, love, trust in that.

That’s a fuckin’ problem
And you don’t even see that

Then you find you somebody you think you might want to be wit’
Same baggage and remnants of the same types of broads you’re used to bein’ wit’
Taking ’em through trust issues and the third degree with
The fuckin’ problem is, how is that you don’t see that?

©Dec2012AngelaSherice

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MEET ANGELA SHERICE



{December 16, 2012}   Love, Lack & Stacks.


jarofheartsI know love, so yes, I love him back
He loves me for what he’s been missing and lacks (since his stacks)
But it’s like…
He wants to screw his head on (then wear it)
Thinks because his heart beats, it’s “love” (like how I know love to be)
He don’t know it like I know it (and need it for “me”)

I wouldn’t want him to think I played with his heart and stomped on the chance
But “dancing with the devil” would be the name of this dance (if I just wanted
to dance with somebody who thinks that he really loves me)…

You see…
The problem is…
He can’t even keep his heart in a straight line
Every little thing I do [now or then] I say is a crime
So now…how can we really dance in a solid straight line?

His heart goes ‘a flippin’ and a floppin’ (and crying)
Ricochetin’ off into mine and all goes: BUST (then I’m dying)

Little did he know, I had his back (and just like THAT! he’s back to lack)
handsheartI never sold it to him, so if I asked him to let go and give me mine back

safekeepingsThe good thing about it (I guess)
Is…
He’ll still be left with his stacks…

©Dec2012AngelaSherice

Sunshine
MEET ANGELA SHERICE
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{December 14, 2012}   At Least You Know Love.


You stuck your neck out (you dared)
When I had no interest (or even cared)
Shared things with me (I could tell you were scared)
I took notice (and just wanted to be there)
For you…

Yes, others have tried too
Stuck their necks out even further than you

They wanna play understudy (from reading the lines)
Having no idea, gotta read in between’em (to shine)
…For me to even see you

You did that (now I’m blind)…blinding_light_this_one

I love having moments to slow you down
Make you think and feel for a minute
Regardless whatever else may, or may never be in it

At least now, you know: Pure…pure…love…
love

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MEET ANGELA SHERICE



{December 12, 2012}   Present.


BHow To Be A Present To Yourself: Make Future-Tense, The “Present.”

thinking2For clarity, sometimes you have to use the past-tense in place of the present-tense
by asking (then answering) yourself this question (even before the thought or act):
“WAS it worth it?”

The_Thinker_Musee_Rodin
If the answer (before the thought or act) is “Yes,” then that’s your sign that your
move (the act or thought) is the right one.
If it’s “No,” then save yourself the
unnecessary trouble.

So before you even think it, or do it…WAS it worth it?

Now open your present and be open to it.present
(Or return it).


©Dec2012AngelaSherice

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{December 10, 2012}   Grown & Sexy (Organically).


Something caught my eye today and if you know me,
if something tugs at me having
anything to do with the human condition or experience,
then I can’t help but speak on it.
So I’ll speak, after you read this passage that I read (today):

The war on men through the degradation of woman. How is man to recognize his full self, his full power
through the eye’s of an incomplete woman? The woman who has been stripped of Goddess recognition and diminished to a
big ass and full breast for physical comfort only. The woman who has been silenced so she may forget her spiritual essence
because her words stir too much thought outside of the pleasure space. The woman who has been diminished to covering all that
rots inside of her with weaves and red bottom shoes
. I am sure the men, who restructured our societies from cultures
that honored woman, had no idea of the outcome. They had no idea that eventually, even men would render themselves empty and
longing for meaning, depth and connection. There is a deep sadness when I witness a man that can’t recognize the emptiness he
feels when he objectifies himself as a bank and truly believes he can buy love with things and status. It is painful to witness
the betrayal when a woman takes him up on that offer. He doesn’t recognize that the creation of a half woman has contributed to
his repressed anger and frustration of feeling he is not enough. He then may love no woman or keep many half women as his prize.
He doesn’t recognize that it’s his submersion in the imbalanced warrior culture, where violence is the means of getting respect
and power, as the reason he can break the face of the woman who bore him four children. When woman is lost, so is man. The truth is,
woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul. Power and control will NEVER out weigh love.
May we all find our way.
J”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Amen” is what I said, and intended to stop there because
the message spoke volumes. But as I almost
logged off, my heart compelled me to speak to.
And from that beckoning echo, I felt like the message was so
imperative, that I needed to post it here too (on my blog).

You see…after I said “Amen,” I was just going to throw my hand in
the air like I was testifying…then log off with the words:
“Enough said” dancing in my mind-because she said so much in that
one paragraphs (that I highlighted in bold) yet, it’s so much
more…because it’s so much more than [even what SHE said] that
goes along WITH [what she said].

(I hope that came out right).

That passage happened to have been written by Jada Pinkett-Smith.

I could appreciate (and believe) those words coming from her
because I know that her eyes can see [and therefore-speak] on
the way that we love today…(well-the way many of us THINK we are loving)
living, and calling ourselves being “whole,” when in the depths and truths
of it all, many of us are not.
But it’s not entirely all our fault.
We have a good excuse yet, we have no idea that-that excuse is exactly
what excuses us from the table of true love, real self-love, and the ability
to make and cultivate true connecting and have true love.

So when I say:
“yet, it’s so much more…because it’s so much more than [even what SHE said]
that goes along WITH [what she said]…”
…I mean that, when coming from Jada’s era (growing up-teen, young adult, and adult),
the way that ‘socializing’ was, the way that ‘love’ was, the way that ‘life’
just—was…(regardless how rebellious you may have been)…being apart of that era in life
instilled a different kind of respect for, and knowledge of what real love was versus is
(now)-and with a special kind of understanding that real love could never be so, without
truly being a whole person/individual (first). Yet, it’s so masked by the superficiality
of how we think, how are programmed, and how we live today—in ways and styles that if you
did not come from an era (like Jada’s–when it was “organic”); it’s almost no hope.

You can see it. You can feel it. It’s a texture.
Like: “Invisibility”-if invisible was a texture.
It’s like something that you touch and it just dissolves,
versus from an “organic” era-the texture is like: Silk, Corduroy or even Teflon.
(That’s the best way I can give you a visual…to feel what it is I’m saying).

th
So a woman from Jada’s eyes…looking at the world and raising kids (both sexes)
up in the middle of the EXACT same thing that she is talking about in her post;
being in the center of those two differences (the “organic” versus the now), I can only
IMAGINE…how it does a number on her mind every single day.

Last year sometime, I wrote another blog
(a short story) similar to the plight of this blog-you might wanna take a look at it
.

You see, I’ve had these types of conversations with females
(and males) who unfortunately do NOT come from those “organic” moments in time of life and love.
And to be truthful, by the end of the conversation; I could only yawn in pity and sadness just to
know that to truly get a feel for the touch of love is something that will have to be “taught”
(especially when as of 2012-if they are under twenty-five). But my considering how we are
programmed today-rather than throwing in the towel altogether on there being any hope of
them ever being able to experience what that organic life and love is like, at the end of
conversation, the only advice I could offer was to tell them to just—make it their business
to make a friend who too, understands and are much apart of, and migrating in the culture
and subculture today; but who-as well, comes from an organic moment in time. Where love is
concerned, they can slow you down some: sensitize you where you are much too desensitized.
Reprogram your mind, and teach you something-first-about yourself, and then life…so that you
can then understand what true love really is all about–how to give it and how to receive it.
Get close to somebody who, not so much that gets you to thinking, but somebody who can get you
to “feeling”…how to “feel” with your mind, and your heart (before your body). Because if you’re
only working off of what we have to work with today, you’re going to miss what it is that’s really
essential to float your boat…

Hopefully, Jada’s post-atop the line (and what I am saying in this blog) can get you to what it is
that I [and I am sure-what she] was trying to say, because it really is more to it.
I am a writer who feels her plight in what she’s saying. And I can tell she wrote a “light” version of
a much deeper conversation. So I piggybacked off that intent for this blog. But keep in mind that I do
go over this subject in a section of a chapter (in unapologetic detail) in my book in Gem #11.
You can read the segue to the chapter by merely clicking this link.

But back to this blog. In keeping it “light,” or straight at it (the way you will read when you buy the book),
the bottom line is-the lesson is essential however it’s delivered to you, because we need love to live like
we need “life” to thrive. But we are not really blossoming like we really should/could be, because love and life
is an entirely different kind of experience when it’s organic and from the root-the DIRT root.
Everything we do now, everything that we are about, and all that matters to us is
right now is within instantly gratifying reach and disposal—it’s superficial at best-all on the surface.
That includes how we connect-which liters into how we are “loving” (or think we are loving).
Hell, we can’t even perform a duty or extend a nicety without going online and telling the world our
good deed for the say. Even our true sense of empathy and caring is questionable.
Our narcissism and in authenticity is at an all-time low, and we have to be conscious of it
(if what we truly want is what’s authentic, organic, and real)…

And so my opinion about Jada and Will (and all these up and down rumors flying around 1279829231-will_smith_and_jada_pinkett
about them getting divorced, yes, no, maybe, etc.)…this is something that I’ve always
thought about them (when the rumors fly): “I know they’ve got to be tired of each
other, and I know they probably have done all there is to do and at this point, are probably
like: ‘look… the kids are no longer babies. Let’s close the curtains on this relationship’.”

But then after reading her post (atop), that’s the heart, mind and the “way” of a woman who
comes from that organic time and moment of true life and love (as does Will), which brings
me back to my point.

When it comes down to life and love, they KNOW better.
And in “knowing” better, they both know what’s up–the differences in the desensitization
of love now, versus the sensitivity of then. They BOTH know what’s up if they split…
The organically grown and sexy know that jumping ship into this “now” is a no-bet
and is definitely no better.

They BOTH know the “matrix” of life and love we are living in right now as compared to
when they were both were coming up. And because they DO know the difference,
their advantage is that they know how to work past superficial (and major) differences,
and are a little more patient with working out the kinks and imperfections than the average
young couple of today’s era don’t have an understanding of.
All the tools people of today have to work with are all the things that keep them away from
experiencing wholeness (and oneness with themselves), and what REAL love is truly all about.

That main thread that I’m willing to bet that’s holding them together is the “knowing”: knowing
that difference between being apart of the “then” and the “now.”
When you have that advantage; you can win in this game of life and love.
But when you DON’T have that advantage, unfortunately, you can be like this invisible,
hollow piece of being that’s running around here thinking you are whole, but in truth and
reality; merely being bombarded, pressured, hoodwinked, bamboozled and run amok by all the
wrong or insubstantial and insignificant things that when all is said, done, and misunderstood;
leave us with no understanding of what truly being whole is-before calling ourselves becoming one.
And so our repeated, thin cycles of invisibility:
Begins.
And ends.
And begins.
And ends.
And begins.

…And so many of us are walking around wounded-jaded and wearing masks and cover-ups
(like she explained in that passage up top). That’s real. That’s really real.
We just don’t see it.

But open your eyes, your mind, and your heart to this one fact:
When you are REALLY whole, and when you REALLY know love; your eyes see life and “love”
(now-today) in a different way. It’s like going through a tye-died vertigo of an experience,
but without being dizzy. And you can easily spot and point out the people who aren’t and don’t
[know love]—love of self and how to truly connect and give love, live love, and be love] with
others “organically.”

It’s no judgment.
It’s just that they know love, Love. And if you’re desensitized and programmed, the good news is-they can show and tell you, and you can do the same for someone else.

DON’T JUST STARE.
SHARE THIS BLOG POSTING WITH THE SOCIAL COMMUNITIES OF
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THANK YOU.
angie2004
MEET ANGELA SHERICE




In the land of [hetero] sexual intimate relations, for a single woman,
whether to (or not to) perform fellatio on a man (“give him head”) is a
dilemma that she is sure to have fought countless voices in her head
about-if she should take the plunge or just sit on it.

For the single woman, especially if she is not wantonly promiscuous and
indiscretion is not her thing, still, she can find her (non promiscuous)
self in some pretty compromising situations (and positions) during her
quest for love and relationship. And for that woman, the
voices in HER head will always yell out these warnings:
• He’s going to think you’re a whore!
• He’s going to tell all his friends (and everybody!)
• He’s not going to call you tomorrow!
• He’s going to be afraid to kiss you after you do it!
• He’s going to always wonder how many other men you did this to!
• A moment on the lips is a lifetime on the list!
• You’ll never live this down girl! Don’t do it!

…low and behold if you swallow him, or give him head without a condom on,
those voices in your head are turned up ten octaves-screaming like a
banshee at you while you are wrapped into the comfort of his (seemingly)
caring arms. Manhood and ego inflated from the feel of your body trembling
from his caress having no idea that a great majority of your feminine tremble
and moans come from fighting with the voices in your head doing everything
you can to justify why taking the plunge won’t be so bad and to assure
Voice Number [whatever] that this one’s here for the long haul-so giving him
head can only make things better for the night, for him and for the forever.
So you quiet the voices by reckoning:
I promise Voice, I promise Voice. This’ll be the last of the 3, or 5 or 10,
dicks I will ever have to suck. I promise you that this man whose arms I am wrapped
in-really loves me. It’ll make things better. Trust me Voice-trust me on this!
Run along now. Run along, already. Skidaddle! Skidickle
!”

After rationalizing and forcing your head reckon with your decision, you crank up
the volume (and intensity). Alas! The bass guitar strings scream with Pat Benatar
belting: “Hit Me With Your Best Shot-Fire Awaaaaaaay” begin to drown out
those annoying voices in your head-and you now bow down to reckon with his head [below].
In the unfortunate event you did not let your love adorn his penis with the proper prophylactics
and the fact that you’ve already gone under; the voices in your head have nothing else to
say to you. This time,
his voices from HIS head‘s head says to him:
• Ooh is she going to swallow?
• Ooh is she going to go the distance?
• Ooh is it going to be that good ’til the point where I don’t even have to, or
forget to fuck her (or fuck her again-some more)?
• If she doesn’t go the distance, what is she going to do with it if she doesn’t
swallow though? That means I’ll have to stop and fuck her.
Damn! (or: “Good!”)

Notice the difference between what goes through a woman’s mind versus what goes through a
man’s head regarding ‘head.’

In full detail, I make mention of these facts in a book I wrote called:
Doing It: Mind-Blowing Sex Tips You Will Never Forget (The Fine Art of Intimate Sex):

With regard to sex, there is something important that we just have to understand
(and reckon with). There is power in the penis (as is there being power in a
woman’s vagina)-spiritual power.

A woman’s vagina is the “spiritual center” of her entire (physical) body.
She is anatomically built to breed life by way of the same opening that a man
is built to penetrate. So whether or not he performs cunniligus on her/give her
head, because of the fact that he can take his “power” [slash] “spiritual center”
and enter hers; creates a spiritual experience for the both of them (no matter how
casual or committed the two of them may or may not be, or no matter how good or bad
the sex is or was).

Because of how we woman [-v-] how men are built to consummate, giving head to a man
is more essential to pleasuring him than it is essential that a woman have head
performed on her. Cunniligus is merely a bonus, and for some women-a conscious
requirement (or pre-requisite)-a demand or suggestion nonetheless, but not “essential.”

In contrast however, giving head to a man is “essential” for a few reasons:
Anatomically speaking, men do not have an opening [that breeds life] as does
women that too, receives and gives pleasure. If I had to give your mind a visual
and design, I would say that his is penis is to our clitoris as his testicles are
to our fallopian tubes. We hold the power of that “extra” opening that he does not have.
Therefore, we give “extra” pleasure (to him) when willing to place our “other”
power of life and death upon his “power” a.k.a: Our mouths.

Regardless how educated, common-sensed, spiritually grounded, or personally resilient
a man is-for them all, it’s a subconscious psychology behind his need and desire for
getting head. His penis is tied to a whole sleuth of emotional, societal, and mental
strings because of his gender’s role expectation in this world that we live in that even
if a man rejects this being imposed upon him he knows he can’t escape [the expectation].

He cannot escape that expectation any more than it is expected that a woman is to procreate
and make the family (for him). Obviously, there are special circumstances such as:
young age/inexperience, and situations like: female/male sterility that forfeit those
expectations however-when a man cannot hunt and gather enough for family, whether we’d
like to admit it or not (and even if he can hunt, gather and provide); it all comes back
to that old saying that all men have, or will say at least once in his lifetime:
All I got is my word and my balls.”

Although it’s mostly said with humor, all men know that when all is said and done, secured or
not secured; his “word and his ‘balls’ ” will survive him when of if all else won’t.
And to his male mind, especially ‘his balls’ (what sits above it) is special, and must be
handled and catered to with a special kind of care and consideration.

(We are going take a second to fly this bird down a few notches-take it P-G so that I
can get you to the point).

The gender role expectations (that we all adhere to) can be observed as early as
3 years old, and even better observable from ages 5 and up. As a former psych student with
personal interest in the study of gender roles, I’ve taken several classes where we observed
male and female children behind three-way mirrors in order to be able to assess and study their
gender role differences from 3 to 6 years of age-to interpret what we saw enough to be able to
write 15-20 page thesis’ about our various observations (by which we would attend these voyeur
sessions for two-weeks to one month at a time)-unbeknownst to the children who were merely
attending the learning/child-care center.

But as it pertains to what I am saying in this piece-as we grow older, our male-female roles evolve
into other ways that, [little do many of us understand] happened naturally and as early as early those
ages I just mentioned.

As women, we are socialized (and conditioned-as the weaker sex) to be somewhat subservient
and when the question begs: “To give or not to give?” we (subconsciously) know that it is an
act of submission to him that often times, those voices in our heads are merely trying to
forewarn us that we may (or may not be) kneeling and submitting to-bestowing upon that man-a
type of submission that nothing past those voices in his head can literally handle
(when the deed is done).

The problem is, although (I feel) submitting to a man and bestowing upon him-that kind of
thing is a “gift” and one such act that is as necessary as kissing his neck and lips; the problem
is that we have to learn to pay attention to those voices in our heads in comparison to the fact
if we are laying (and kneeling) to a king or to a pawn. And what we need to do is make better
choices in men-exercise a little more patience and work on his head up top, before working on his
head (below).

Which brings me to the point of this blog.

Mid-week sometime, there was a story that had come out that not only caught my eye, but also
resonated with me quite a bit-because I write in my Angie Situation book/series
(outside of what is on the website samples); a few stories about that same thing involving
the protagonist in the story which, from book 1-starts off by introducing you to her-and takes
you through her life events and situations that ongoing (page-for-page); allows the reader to
see what becomes of her the choices she had made (as well as those that were out of her control
and realm of understanding) until she begins to evolve into book 2 and definitely by book 3-what
catapulted it, what became of her, what came back to haunt her/end her…

December 2012 is one heaven of a busy month for me-and before I decided to press pause for a few
minutes on my book writing, to blog about this blog that you are reading. In between time, I
needed to sit back and observe how the party involved in this week’s fiasco moved-how she was
moving on that scandal that hit social. If she handled it the typical way that the basic/average
female today would have moved on it, I probably would not have written this blog. Because it is a blog
written to give you some understanding and sensibilities behind what a sexually active girl at
age 17, doesn’t have to capacity to understand is senseless (when she’s too young to understand
the seriousness of it the repercussions involved that too, can put a toll on her heart, her mind,
and her life).

No, this blog is not an “excuse” for her, but it is written to help people (in judgment of a girl
and situation as such)-to help them understand the plight of a young girl having the faculties to
foresight to see what could become of her (and the situation).

Equally as important-because it is so taboo-it is still something all women can
relate to (whether or not their situation played out into the publicly, or whether it simply
remained swept under the rug and hidden deep within the crevices of her mind). Any woman now, who was
sexually active at a young age can most probably relate-regardless the degree or degrade.

This blog was birthed because of the way she moved and handled it. I must say that I was completely
surprised (especially in this day and age, where the slightest shine down on anything-no matter how
shameful or degrading, not many people would ignore the “opportunity” to ride that into fifteen minutes
of bullshit of getting famous for being famous). Instead-she fought it-vehemently (thus far).

Now I mentioned earlier: “what we need to do is make better choices in men-exercise a little
more patience and work on his head up top, before working on his head (below)”
but my question to you is: “What can a 17-year old sexually active girl do with some ‘advice’ like that?”

Nothing.
So don’t judge her (or any other girl caught up in some sex scandal-public or otherwise).
Instead, understand this about female and a male:
Even if it turned out to be in vain and rebelled against, as youngsters, there is a reason why our parents
and other elders spent so much time trying to give us talks about abstaining from sex until we were “ready.”
Unfortunately “ready” is relative-and such that the body always seems to beat the mind to “ready” and when we
act on that, that is where our problems begin (especially females).

Boys (and many men) are not mentally prepared to be able to maturely deal with what is being done to their bodies
any more than girls (and many women, too) have a full understanding that they are sexually submitting to males
(who are actually pawns) in ways that make him feel like a king-when he is not. And when he is not, he pawns her
off in ways that could ruin her publicly, mentally, emotionally and personally.

Having experienced such a thing at a time in my young and “unevolved” life
(before I found “myself” and something constructive to focus on), I can vouch for that being a fact.

If you have been to my website and know a little bit about me, then you already know what my “thing” is,
what my M-O is: Everything that I write or blog about has one or all these things intertwined:
the Erotic, Introspective, Reflective, Self-Efficacious, or the Metaphysical.

So let me reflect.

When I write blogs like this, and when I write biographical fiction and narrative nonfiction books like:
Feel Like A Lady. Deal Like A Man: Tips & Secrets on Everything from Self-Esteem, Friends, Love, Sex, and Men
I don’t put together information gathered from various articles and pre-written research to try to prove
my point and build my book. I feel that if I’m going to reach somebody with a relatable truth then they have a
right to get the truth (from the horse’s mouth).

For a woman, it’s almost next to impossible to be able to articulate herself enough to write a
nonfiction book (or blog such as this one) without having been there, and been over it.

I have to admit that when something happens that forces me to revisit situations like the
inspiration behind why I wrote this blog, I can’t help but feel like kicking myself
and suck my teeth while spewing epithets and expletives because it’s a reminder of not just
how gullible I was. But there is a blessing in it that I cannot allow myself to forget.
Things have happened (and I believe purposely) catapulted me into being the woman that I am
today (with regard to love and relationship): More realistic and practical than dreamy
and unrealistic about what I wish to be true (when not)-something that’s responsible for
a lot of unnecessary hurt and pain that we women put ourselves through in the name of love.

The lessons that I found in the blessing was something that most women never get a chance
have happen in their adult and evolved lives [before easy access and the invention of
Twitters & Facebooks through-to date-until resentfully throwing in the towel]: That/those ones who last
knew the gullible “you,” go through hell and high water over the years to find you…only
to meet the “woman you”-far from that same girl that spent nights crying uncontrollably,
balled up in senseless emotional knots that you never thought you’d muster the strength
to make your way out of.

Did it do anything for my ego? No.
Did it do anything for my self-esteem? Somewhat.
Did it teach me a lot about myself? Yes. More than I ever could’ve imagined.
And it taught me that this wasn’t all because I’m so drop-dead gorgeous and
beautiful, but rather, during my gullibility, I didn’t have it in me to be any
more open to “give” anything other than as discussed in the premise and the title
of this blog. And sometimes people who merely didn’t get a chance to finish knowing
you, or loving you feel like that is what they want to do, regardless whatever they
put you through.

The part that makes you kick yourself and suck your teeth is the reality of being forced
to see yourself in a mirror; sitting there talking to a man who’s doing his best to say
all the right things but [as a woman now] you can’t even see into him enough to feel his
plight because all you keep seeing is yourself in some outer body experience having
conversations with your (then) self and your (now) self, by which none are working to his
plea and benefit-yet-purely experiencing clarity rather than contempt. It’s a high, and a
closure that I never chased but somehow found me-something that I’m sure would have turn
out completely different had I not found “me.”

But by being open to dialogue about anything outside of rekindling what’s no longer
necessary in my world today, over the years of having moved on; it’s helped me be true
to myself, reroute the blame, undo the shame, and meet people where I’m at right now-gone
forward.

Although the rollercoaster ride, the twists, the turns, the spins and road to it may
very well have made one hell of a jaw-dropping “loosely based” series, it was not in vain.
And quite frankly; couldn’t have been made possible had I not been forced to re-visit my
(then) “me” who still, I had zero understanding of until my (now) “me”—and that I am pretty
sure is not that different than many young girls to grown women who too, can relate-no matter
how private and swept under a rug (or public) your version was played out.

DON’T JUST STARE.
SHARE THIS BLOG POSTING WITH THE SOCIAL COMMUNITIES OF
YOUR CHOOSING BY HITTING THAT “SHARE” BUTTON.
THANK YOU.
angie2004
MEET ANGELA SHERICE



et cetera
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