In the land of [hetero] sexual intimate relations, for a single woman,
whether to (or not to) perform fellatio on a man (“give him head”) is a
dilemma that she is sure to have fought countless voices in her head
about-if she should take the plunge or just sit on it.
For the single woman, especially if she is not wantonly promiscuous and
indiscretion is not her thing, still, she can find her (non promiscuous)
self in some pretty compromising situations (and positions) during her
quest for love and relationship. And for that woman, the
voices in HER head will always yell out these warnings:
• He’s going to think you’re a whore!
• He’s going to tell all his friends (and everybody!)
• He’s not going to call you tomorrow!
• He’s going to be afraid to kiss you after you do it!
• He’s going to always wonder how many other men you did this to!
• A moment on the lips is a lifetime on the list!
• You’ll never live this down girl! Don’t do it!
…low and behold if you swallow him, or give him head without a condom on,
those voices in your head are turned up ten octaves-screaming like a
banshee at you while you are wrapped into the comfort of his (seemingly)
caring arms. Manhood and ego inflated from the feel of your body trembling
from his caress having no idea that a great majority of your feminine tremble
and moans come from fighting with the voices in your head doing everything
you can to justify why taking the plunge won’t be so bad and to assure
Voice Number [whatever] that this one’s here for the long haul-so giving him
head can only make things better for the night, for him and for the forever.
So you quiet the voices by reckoning:
“I promise Voice, I promise Voice. This’ll be the last of the 3, or 5 or 10,
dicks I will ever have to suck. I promise you that this man whose arms I am wrapped
in-really loves me. It’ll make things better. Trust me Voice-trust me on this!
Run along now. Run along, already. Skidaddle! Skidickle!”
After rationalizing and forcing your head reckon with your decision, you crank up
the volume (and intensity). Alas! The bass guitar strings scream with Pat Benatar
belting: “Hit Me With Your Best Shot-Fire Awaaaaaaay” begin to drown out
those annoying voices in your head-and you now bow down to reckon with his head [below].
In the unfortunate event you did not let your love adorn his penis with the proper prophylactics
and the fact that you’ve already gone under; the voices in your head have nothing else to
say to you. This time,
his voices from HIS head‘s head says to him:
• Ooh is she going to swallow?
• Ooh is she going to go the distance?
• Ooh is it going to be that good ’til the point where I don’t even have to, or
forget to fuck her (or fuck her again-some more)?
• If she doesn’t go the distance, what is she going to do with it if she doesn’t
swallow though? That means I’ll have to stop and fuck her.
Damn! (or: “Good!”)
Notice the difference between what goes through a woman’s mind versus what goes through a
man’s head regarding ‘head.’
In full detail, I make mention of these facts in a book I wrote called:
Doing It: Mind-Blowing Sex Tips You Will Never Forget (The Fine Art of Intimate Sex):
With regard to sex, there is something important that we just have to understand
(and reckon with). There is power in the penis (as is there being power in a
woman’s vagina)-spiritual power.
A woman’s vagina is the “spiritual center” of her entire (physical) body.
She is anatomically built to breed life by way of the same opening that a man
is built to penetrate. So whether or not he performs cunniligus on her/give her
head, because of the fact that he can take his “power” [slash] “spiritual center”
and enter hers; creates a spiritual experience for the both of them (no matter how
casual or committed the two of them may or may not be, or no matter how good or bad
the sex is or was).
Because of how we woman [-v-] how men are built to consummate, giving head to a man
is more essential to pleasuring him than it is essential that a woman have head
performed on her. Cunniligus is merely a bonus, and for some women-a conscious
requirement (or pre-requisite)-a demand or suggestion nonetheless, but not “essential.”
In contrast however, giving head to a man is “essential” for a few reasons:
Anatomically speaking, men do not have an opening [that breeds life] as does
women that too, receives and gives pleasure. If I had to give your mind a visual
and design, I would say that his is penis is to our clitoris as his testicles are
to our fallopian tubes. We hold the power of that “extra” opening that he does not have.
Therefore, we give “extra” pleasure (to him) when willing to place our “other”
power of life and death upon his “power” a.k.a: Our mouths.
Regardless how educated, common-sensed, spiritually grounded, or personally resilient
a man is-for them all, it’s a subconscious psychology behind his need and desire for
getting head. His penis is tied to a whole sleuth of emotional, societal, and mental
strings because of his gender’s role expectation in this world that we live in that even
if a man rejects this being imposed upon him he knows he can’t escape [the expectation].
He cannot escape that expectation any more than it is expected that a woman is to procreate
and make the family (for him). Obviously, there are special circumstances such as:
young age/inexperience, and situations like: female/male sterility that forfeit those
expectations however-when a man cannot hunt and gather enough for family, whether we’d
like to admit it or not (and even if he can hunt, gather and provide); it all comes back
to that old saying that all men have, or will say at least once in his lifetime:
“All I got is my word and my balls.”
Although it’s mostly said with humor, all men know that when all is said and done, secured or
not secured; his “word and his ‘balls’ ” will survive him when of if all else won’t.
And to his male mind, especially ‘his balls’ (what sits above it) is special, and must be
handled and catered to with a special kind of care and consideration.
(We are going take a second to fly this bird down a few notches-take it P-G so that I
can get you to the point).
The gender role expectations (that we all adhere to) can be observed as early as
3 years old, and even better observable from ages 5 and up. As a former psych student with
personal interest in the study of gender roles, I’ve taken several classes where we observed
male and female children behind three-way mirrors in order to be able to assess and study their
gender role differences from 3 to 6 years of age-to interpret what we saw enough to be able to
write 15-20 page thesis’ about our various observations (by which we would attend these voyeur
sessions for two-weeks to one month at a time)-unbeknownst to the children who were merely
attending the learning/child-care center.
But as it pertains to what I am saying in this piece-as we grow older, our male-female roles evolve
into other ways that, [little do many of us understand] happened naturally and as early as early those
ages I just mentioned.
As women, we are socialized (and conditioned-as the weaker sex) to be somewhat subservient
and when the question begs: “To give or not to give?” we (subconsciously) know that it is an
act of submission to him that often times, those voices in our heads are merely trying to
forewarn us that we may (or may not be) kneeling and submitting to-bestowing upon that man-a
type of submission that nothing past those voices in his head can literally handle
(when the deed is done).
The problem is, although (I feel) submitting to a man and bestowing upon him-that kind of
thing is a “gift” and one such act that is as necessary as kissing his neck and lips; the problem
is that we have to learn to pay attention to those voices in our heads in comparison to the fact
if we are laying (and kneeling) to a king or to a pawn. And what we need to do is make better
choices in men-exercise a little more patience and work on his head up top, before working on his
head (below).
Which brings me to the point of this blog.
Mid-week sometime, there was a story that had come out that not only caught my eye, but also
resonated with me quite a bit-because I write in my Angie Situation book/series
(outside of what is on the website samples); a few stories about that same thing involving
the protagonist in the story which, from book 1-starts off by introducing you to her-and takes
you through her life events and situations that ongoing (page-for-page); allows the reader to
see what becomes of her the choices she had made (as well as those that were out of her control
and realm of understanding) until she begins to evolve into book 2 and definitely by book 3-what
catapulted it, what became of her, what came back to haunt her/end her…
December 2012 is one heaven of a busy month for me-and before I decided to press pause for a few
minutes on my book writing, to blog about this blog that you are reading. In between time, I
needed to sit back and observe how the party involved in this week’s fiasco moved-how she was
moving on that scandal that hit social. If she handled it the typical way that the basic/average
female today would have moved on it, I probably would not have written this blog. Because it is a blog
written to give you some understanding and sensibilities behind what a sexually active girl at
age 17, doesn’t have to capacity to understand is senseless (when she’s too young to understand
the seriousness of it the repercussions involved that too, can put a toll on her heart, her mind,
and her life).
No, this blog is not an “excuse” for her, but it is written to help people (in judgment of a girl
and situation as such)-to help them understand the plight of a young girl having the faculties to
foresight to see what could become of her (and the situation).
Equally as important-because it is so taboo-it is still something all women can
relate to (whether or not their situation played out into the publicly, or whether it simply
remained swept under the rug and hidden deep within the crevices of her mind). Any woman now, who was
sexually active at a young age can most probably relate-regardless the degree or degrade.
This blog was birthed because of the way she moved and handled it. I must say that I was completely
surprised (especially in this day and age, where the slightest shine down on anything-no matter how
shameful or degrading, not many people would ignore the “opportunity” to ride that into fifteen minutes
of bullshit of getting famous for being famous). Instead-she fought it-vehemently (thus far).
Now I mentioned earlier: “what we need to do is make better choices in men-exercise a little
more patience and work on his head up top, before working on his head (below)”
but my question to you is: “What can a 17-year old sexually active girl do with some ‘advice’ like that?”
Nothing.
So don’t judge her (or any other girl caught up in some sex scandal-public or otherwise).
Instead, understand this about female and a male:
Even if it turned out to be in vain and rebelled against, as youngsters, there is a reason why our parents
and other elders spent so much time trying to give us talks about abstaining from sex until we were “ready.”
Unfortunately “ready” is relative-and such that the body always seems to beat the mind to “ready” and when we
act on that, that is where our problems begin (especially females).
Boys (and many men) are not mentally prepared to be able to maturely deal with what is being done to their bodies
any more than girls (and many women, too) have a full understanding that they are sexually submitting to males
(who are actually pawns) in ways that make him feel like a king-when he is not. And when he is not, he pawns her
off in ways that could ruin her publicly, mentally, emotionally and personally.
Having experienced such a thing at a time in my young and “unevolved” life
(before I found “myself” and something constructive to focus on), I can vouch for that being a fact.
If you have been to my website and know a little bit about me, then you already know what my “thing” is,
what my M-O is: Everything that I write or blog about has one or all these things intertwined:
the Erotic, Introspective, Reflective, Self-Efficacious, or the Metaphysical.
So let me reflect.
When I write blogs like this, and when I write biographical fiction and narrative nonfiction books like:
“Feel Like A Lady. Deal Like A Man: Tips & Secrets on Everything from Self-Esteem, Friends, Love, Sex, and Men”
I don’t put together information gathered from various articles and pre-written research to try to prove
my point and build my book. I feel that if I’m going to reach somebody with a relatable truth then they have a
right to get the truth (from the horse’s mouth).
For a woman, it’s almost next to impossible to be able to articulate herself enough to write a
nonfiction book (or blog such as this one) without having been there, and been over it.
I have to admit that when something happens that forces me to revisit situations like the
inspiration behind why I wrote this blog, I can’t help but feel like kicking myself
and suck my teeth while spewing epithets and expletives because it’s a reminder of not just
how gullible I was. But there is a blessing in it that I cannot allow myself to forget.
Things have happened (and I believe purposely) catapulted me into being the woman that I am
today (with regard to love and relationship): More realistic and practical than dreamy
and unrealistic about what I wish to be true (when not)-something that’s responsible for
a lot of unnecessary hurt and pain that we women put ourselves through in the name of love.
The lessons that I found in the blessing was something that most women never get a chance
have happen in their adult and evolved lives [before easy access and the invention of
Twitters & Facebooks through-to date-until resentfully throwing in the towel]: That/those ones who last
knew the gullible “you,” go through hell and high water over the years to find you…only
to meet the “woman you”-far from that same girl that spent nights crying uncontrollably,
balled up in senseless emotional knots that you never thought you’d muster the strength
to make your way out of.
Did it do anything for my ego? No.
Did it do anything for my self-esteem? Somewhat.
Did it teach me a lot about myself? Yes. More than I ever could’ve imagined.
And it taught me that this wasn’t all because I’m so drop-dead gorgeous and
beautiful, but rather, during my gullibility, I didn’t have it in me to be any
more open to “give” anything other than as discussed in the premise and the title
of this blog. And sometimes people who merely didn’t get a chance to finish knowing
you, or loving you feel like that is what they want to do, regardless whatever they
put you through.
The part that makes you kick yourself and suck your teeth is the reality of being forced
to see yourself in a mirror; sitting there talking to a man who’s doing his best to say
all the right things but [as a woman now] you can’t even see into him enough to feel his
plight because all you keep seeing is yourself in some outer body experience having
conversations with your (then) self and your (now) self, by which none are working to his
plea and benefit-yet-purely experiencing clarity rather than contempt. It’s a high, and a
closure that I never chased but somehow found me-something that I’m sure would have turn
out completely different had I not found “me.”
But by being open to dialogue about anything outside of rekindling what’s no longer
necessary in my world today, over the years of having moved on; it’s helped me be true
to myself, reroute the blame, undo the shame, and meet people where I’m at right now-gone
forward.
Although the rollercoaster ride, the twists, the turns, the spins and road to it may
very well have made one hell of a jaw-dropping “loosely based” series, it was not in vain.
And quite frankly; couldn’t have been made possible had I not been forced to re-visit my
(then) “me” who still, I had zero understanding of until my (now) “me”—and that I am pretty
sure is not that different than many young girls to grown women who too, can relate-no matter
how private and swept under a rug (or public) your version was played out.
DON’T JUST STARE.
SHARE THIS BLOG POSTING WITH THE SOCIAL COMMUNITIES OF
YOUR CHOOSING BY HITTING THAT “SHARE” BUTTON.
THANK YOU.
MEET ANGELA SHERICE
A Girl in the World & the World in a Girl... 
After excepting a cool opportunity to explore, I am impressed with your writing skills. An while reading about “head” (the lower and the upper” I became curious about the focus of a seventeen year old female. Being that I am a man, married with children, and children’s children I’m trying to understand something that I can’t quite get my 15yr old to understand, you know at that age when they won’t listen to a big sister, because “I’ve got so much experience”, how, or when did you realize that some elderly conversations held some firm foundational ground?? Giving head to a male, without even remotely knowing his maturity level, not to mention his treatment of his own mother, or “some female who he’s close with, is disturbing to me, if that said individual is after a lasting relationship, freebies usually do a lot for arousal responses, but free cookies and milk rarely is given thanks for, but instead a brush off, the nature of a male who has had numerous sexual lower head experiences that if not too clamerous allow for intercourse that’s followed by I’ll hit you up later, only to hear nothing, followed by nothing.
Wouldn’t it make better sense relationally speaking to first figure out what is making this male not focus on your body parts that are other than you lips, both pairs, breasts, and butt?? I’m not sayin that the body isn’t bangin, but…..it sure seems like filling a quota rather than searching for a good male who has real potential to become a good man. You thoughts??
Hi Bryan.
Thanks for your reply. I truly appreciate and respect you for it.
Because in my experience (and style of writing), most people will talk slick,
or toss social media subliminal comments or compliments at me, but won’t step to me.
I don’t really respect that. It does not promote, pay, excite or benefit either one us into
dialogue to better understand our same (or differing) sides-so hats off to you, sir.
And hopefully by the end of my reply you and I will have a better understanding of
each of our points of views.
You landed on my tarmac and platform. And I’m going to give you some long-winded
first class hospitality, by giving you a very detailed and INFORMATIVE reply.
Why? Because you did what thousands of other people will not do-simply: Ask.
You’re like me, Bryan. When you ask questions-you learn. And when you don’t:
you made a personal decision to purposely misunderstand and be pissed off in life
with what, and whomever you neglected to get your clarity. That’s your angst-not theirs.
So Bryan, your question and my reply will help us (and them).
So let’s ride.
As I get into answering your question however, let me reiterate to you
what it is I do-in case you haven’t visited my website and social media pages–so
as to give a little background information about me as a writer
(what it is I write about-my focus and concern).
I’m an “acquired” taste-unusual-especially in today’s climate, because I don’t write
to be “liked” or “famous” or “popular.” I write to enlighten-period.
And if encouragement, feeling ennobled, inspired, motivated (or liking me) is what
my readers become and feel; I simply consider that a gift, blessing, and bonus-period
(however, honored).
As a student of the arts and sciences of philosophy, psychology and journalism,
and moreover-my natural curiosity and observant way; EVERYTHING for me
(involving the human experience/condition) is news to me,
and will be thoroughly examined as such (before I write about it via books, blogs,
critique/comments on other blogs etc).
My books, blogs, or anything else that concerns or interest me [to write about] will
always and only involve subject matter of the human condition and
experience-nothing typical, mundane, and frivolous like celebrity gossip or news etc.
UNLESS that news involves something I can relate to the human condition or experience
(hence my motto at the entry and atop every pull of my website pages:
Writer of Erotic, Introspective, Reflective, Self-efficacious, Metaphysical Literature).
If I cannot relate to it, if I cannot reflect on it introspectively (from personal experience
or via the experience of other human beings) then I don’t write it.
After reading your comment (at the very beginning of it), something I think you didn’t
quite understand (if you read the whole blog) is this one thing: This blog is not [all]
ABOUT “a 17-year old girl giving head” (whose information and picture proof spread
across social media-that-as a writer and journalist; I selected to write about—because again…
it is my area of interest and concern: the human condition or experience).
If my blog was all about her, I would have started in about her (at the beginning of the blog),
but, it’s not about her.
I purposely made sure I only interjected a paragraph or two about “the 17-year old girl
giving head” ONLY to explain the reason/purpose for the blog: WOMEN …(and I repeat):
WOMEN “who give head,” and the dilemmas that go on in WOMEN’S minds before the act
(versus the thoughts that go on in men’s minds during the act).
After explaining all of that-as used as my segue (and purpose) for writing the blog, then
interjecting the issue about the “17-year old girl giving head”) I move on to write
these words: [verbatim]: “Now I mentioned earlier: “what we need to do is make better
choices in men-exercise a little more patience and work on his head up top, before working on
his head (below)” but my question to you is: “What can a 17-year old sexually active girl do with
some ‘advice’ like that?” Nothing. So don’t judge her (or any other girl caught up in some sex
scandal-public or otherwise). Instead, understand this about female and a male: Even if it turned
out to be in vain and rebelled against, as youngsters, there is a reason why our parents and other
elders spent so much time trying to give us talks about abstaining from sex until we were “ready.”
Unfortunately “ready” is relative-and such that the body always seems to beat the mind to “ready”
and when we act on that, that is where our problems begin (especially females). Boys (and many men)
are not mentally prepared to be able to maturely deal with what is being done to their bodies
any more than girls (and many women, too) have a full understanding that they are sexually submitting
to males (who are actually pawns) in ways that make him feel like a king-when he is not.
And when he is not, he pawns her off in ways that could ruin her publicly, mentally, emotionally
and personally. Having experienced such a thing at a time in my young and “unevolved” life
(before I found “myself” and something constructive to focus on), I can vouch for that being a fact.
…Bryan, that passage whole right there…should have answered your whole entire questions from
your first AND second paragraph that you proposed to me.
But to further answer your question (about getting a 15-year old to understand—I couldn’t quite make
out what you were saying in that part), but as best as I can put together what [I think] you were asking,
is something that too (after the abovementioned passage), I moved on to talk about that ungodly
age that some youths experience things that they shouldn’t and what can become of their hearts, minds,
and lives-which is what my Angie Situation series is about:
Youth (book 1) , Young Adult (book 2), and Adulthood (book 3).
I’m not going to post that passage, because after the abovementioned verbatim post, it can all be found there.
All you have to do is get past the “juicy stuff,” and “controversy” at the beginning, and then all of the questions
you had for me can (and will be) answered.
Bryan with all due respect, I must say (in my opinion), you just focused on the “juicy” and the “controversy”
but neglected to (consider?) or understand anything after that. Because (again-according to your questions
you proposed to me) all that you needed to know was in there. Again-you really have to be willing to continue
to read EVERYTHING with the SAME interest that you did the “juicy” and the “controversy” parts of whatever
“Angela Sherice” writes. And what you want to know can be found (in there). Broaden your focus and it
is right in front of your eyes…
As a token of my appreciating your query, I’m going to tell you a little secret about me (as a writer) that I swore
I’d never publicly reveal (but this’ll help all of us: You, Me, and remember: those other people who peep,
side-wind, or subliminal, but won’t do what you did). So what I am about to say is good for us all.
Trust me when I tell you this: I am one of the most purposely and extremely methodical writers
you will ever read. Because my interest and concern is mainly about the human condition and experience,
my goal is to not “dazzle” you-but to give you the truth (however relative it may be).
The “relative” truth is the focal point that someone points out and chooses to focus on.
Typically they’ll call it (and you): “negative” (or some subcategory of the same) if it rattled them
(or simply made them think or re-evaluate what they thought).
Other the other end, if it feed their ego (or current thinking pattern) they love you-they feel happy
and justified about what they thought or felt (so they’ll consider you a nice and “positive” person).
Example that YOU can relate to:
I wrote this blog.
I don’t know who you are from a can of paint.
You commented and brought you experience to me.
Let’s say I didn’t reply back to-you’re left hanging with (whatever your opinion was).
Yet, I replied to you and pointed out clearly (where, in the blog) the answers to your
questions were right there-but you just neglected to focus on it.
So now we’re clear. Right?
My point is, I am not responsible for what’s relative to you and your experience because
you (“you” meaning you-Bryan–or whomever else is reading) chose to focus on the
“juicy,” the “controversial,” (or what may rattle you). Because like I said, I am a very thorough
and methodical writer. If I give the problem, I suggest solutions. When I give a premise, keep
reading-the conclusion is on the way. Like you (Bryan), a lot of people grab at the premise or
problem and neglect to consider or focus on the conclusion or suggested solution, when, if you
broaden your focus-the answer is right there. Or for those who get “rattled,” the answer is this simple:
If you brought your experience to some writer who is simply writing about a thing–and they have no
idea about your individual experience itself; then the problem is not the writer-that’s YOUR sign that
something is in it to be worked out FOR YOU—so thank the writer. Don’t condemn them-call them
negative, rude, or mean. Grow up. Get your life. Get your lesson. They’re just telling a story and you are
“relating”—it’s “relative” to you/your experience, therefore, it’s obvious that all else you’ve been reading or
conversing about hasn’t struck a chord enough with you to make you think, consider (or reconsider)
whatever it was that rattled you, may be. So thank ’em.
In closing, I will say this.
As a (published) writer today (and years ago-like in 2005-before social media access to you) I learned
that it doesn’t matter what you write-people (today) are so caught up in the matrix of wanting to be loved,
adored, liked, famous, and popular that in spite of their truth, experience or plight and when alls said and
done—in the end, will be helpful to other people (where it really matters for the long haul). They’d rather sit
on that in order to be famous, liked, and popular. So they bedazzle by making you think you’re thinking or
making you think it’s their genuine truth.
Well for me, I’m not hungry for that kind of attention and fame. I’m not deceitful like that. And I don’t write
like that. Not just via blogs, or books, or critique/comments elsewhere. I’m from the heart even when I write
songs, poems or lyrics.
Authors don’t necessarily have to be “seen.” They never did. But when they do make the decision to interact
(and be seen), it makes it much more easy for readers to put their focus on their pictures and posts-rather
than pay attention to their work (especially when they are not celebrity authors/famous). And for me
(as I explained in the beginning of this reply) I’m an “acquired” kinda taste. My writing style is much more truthful
than the norm. And no matter how hard it is for them to take, people do want the truth and something tangibility.
But 80% of my problem is that you can see me. That’s my ONLY biggest regret in this thing: having been seen.
If I could do it all over again, I would do everything just as I’m doing it, but without one trace of a picture of
me to be found. But I can’t let having done so deter me from my business at hand. And I certainly won’t permit being
expected to be pulled away/distracted from that (because of all the wrong focal points), rule me and how I move and
business at hand).
As an artist (of any kind) just because the Internet has opened up a way for you to clown yourself or waste
all your creative time trying to be liked, loved and adored; doesn’t mean that you have to fully embrace that
(under the guise that you are not on the Internet to promote yourself). That’s not being respectful to your craft
(in my opinion). But for many people, being famous is where it’s at! (Even if you aint being paid for it).
What kinda crap is that?
Well that’s not my bag. I know I’m worth more than that.
Sure, I’ll dazzled you, and be cute-and play up on that, but I handle all things Angela Sherice such that if social
media closed its doors-Angela Sherice and what she does and is about—can still be found in one central
location: ANGELASHERICE.COM (established 2005)…
My whole philosophy on that is, if you can’t respect that, but instead, expect me to juggle, quote, pretty myself
out all day everyday for you-then I don’t want your audience anyway, because you’re not TeamAngelaSherice.
You just want to be entertained on the Internet all day.
If you are TeamAngelaSherice, then all things via AngelaSherice.com (finished or unfinished) is a complete
creative resume there to let you know what I do, how I do, and if it works for you-then let’s get down to
business-’cause I got that work.
It’s not there to flaunt my creative prowess any more than I will accept people expecting me to waste my time 24/7/365
playing around on social media being cute and quoting-when being a model and quoter is not even my bag. I’m a writer.
If social media shut its doors-just like even before it began-I was writing. I’m still going to BE writing.
So one day in 2010, I wrote this song http://bit.ly/YRmSnD
I was reciting it on my Blackberry.
I eventually put it up on my website and posted the lyrics, and low and behold (just like how I explained
how people take their own personal focal point and toss the rest), although the song has very strong
“fuck you, pay me” type of lyrics; if you’re an artist (still grinding) then every single lyric is such that you too,
can identify with (if you’re serious and confident about your talents-as am I). Because it’s not literally saying:
“fuck you-pay me,” it’s merely a song saying:
“Appreciate me while I’m here just like I appreciate you. But don’t play me like it’s my job to be here to
entertain you (when my job is to write)-not juggle on the Internet 24/7/365.”
If I do utilize it, let me do me-when I do me.
I have no great expectations of anyone else while there, and expect the same of (while there).
If you respect that then I feel you respect me and my craft.
If you don’t respect that, then yes, I do feel: “fuck you.”
Respecting that shows me that you respect me and my work, so we’re good.
The song (two versions) is pretty long.
But in it the very passage that flowed right to me while writing it was plumb ignored and quite a few people had the
nerveto be offended and tell me I was selfish, self-centered etc., yet (with lyrics posted) none of them cared
to even consider what I said here:
“Let me rephrase and reframe
I don’t refrain
If I do pass time to entertain
It’s for muthafuckas
Who I TRULY know got love for me
Care with me
Share with me
Grin and bare with me
Patronize me
Maximize me
Not blaze me
Gaze at me
Spew venom at me
Constant hatred and envy of me
Want to compete with me
Can’t, so now got a fuckin’ axe to grind with me
I’m on some: Intertwine with me
Share your philosophy
And your mind with me
Or
Just simply laugh, and have a good time with me
Soul to soul
Back to life
But um….
Back to reality”
So my point Bryan (and to whomever else reading this):
Broaden your focal point.
That way, you won’t waste a writer’s time (being courteous enough to answer you back)…
Readers can save themselves a whole lot of unnecessary energy hating (or living with the delusion that they’ve got some kind
of axe to grind with a writer (because something either pissed you off from being relatively true for you, or simply made you
think or re-think)…
My thinking is, if you believe that where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
If you believe that when it rains, it pours.
If you believe that what’s good for the goose, is good for the gander (or any other recycled social media quote).
…Then consider the fact that with Angela Sherice:
Where there is a premise, there is a conclusion.
Where there is a problem, there is a (suggested) solution
…You just have to broaden your own focus to embrace and see it.
And…there are my “thoughts.” 🙂
First of all Ms. Sherice, I apologize for my tardiness in responding, I somehow lost it before sending it out, I will try again later. Oh by the way ma’am, I can assure you I understood you quite clearly, as I’m sure my comments will confirm, but that has to be a little later–until then, peace Sherice
“Now I mentioned earlier: “what we need to do is make better choices in men-exercise
a little more patience and work on his head up top, before working on his head (below)”
but my question to you is: “What can a 17-year old sexually active girl do with some ‘advice’ like that?” Ms. Sherice, how is it our brothers want to follow bad examples, and our sisters extremely frustrated follow them ?? When black folk started forgetting their history, then our present day real problems began. Single parent households, latch key children, elevated domestic violence. elevated sexual crimes, murder(s), absent fathers, black on black crime, drugs, prostitution. When we were young, our parents taught us different from our other friends and the other cultures, specifically caucasian folks. Black men, black culture valued highly, black women, our mothers, our sisters, our lovers, black woman–Sistas. History will prove out that when you lose sight of the past, history has a way of repeating itself–enslavement. How is it that so many of our young black males seem only interested in females black or white as instruments of their personal pleasures–sexually in particular ?? Could it be on the way up to that delux apartment in the sky they found something different in their eye sight ?? Or maybe it was all by accident, black males no longer as attracted to the only love interest they’ve ever known, now traded in for Barbie ?? Why?? What happened??
Don’t think for a minute this is any form of accident, or one day brothers accidently stopped looking at black women only, it was a choice. In business, competition develops choices, brand comparison(s), with the hope that thru supply and demand competitors would have to raise the level of their products to accommodate the consumer(s). The biggest change in black males has been their ability to choose outside of their naturally historical relationship pattern. So what does that mean when my sista, single and wanting to pick out her prince starts to compete for him, unfortunately far too often with sexual acrobatics. Sex is not a problem, but to compete sexually is, but not, and I repeat NOT for mr. male. At this point he’s living in a world that in the land of make believe, and what coulda been is not, what shoulda been will not. If you really want to get respect, it all starts with respecting yourself. Respect is not given, even thou I know it should be my sister(s), especially to you. If you follow, then you are a Follower…if you lead, then you are a Leader. You can French kiss his penis all you want, but that’s what he expects from your competition, and if you follow… I love my sisters who are too strong to bow to the fakes, some get tricked, but even when you trip her, she gets back up, bigger and better than before. She is determined to take her place beside that gent, but she has also learned her lessons well enough to help her sift through the imposter(s), and right now, there is an army of them. If the type of male you are interested in is not giving you an appropriate response, try this, an this is real…see if he has a little brother, or cousin, no I’m not talking about craddle robbing, I’m talkin about getting his full undistracted, undivided, attention. If you do the the sexual before you know who he is or what he is about, in all seriousness, what do you think he is going to think about you down there stokin his temperature gauge?? Incidentally, what would you think of your girlfriend if she did?? Well however you answered that question, know this ” I’m talking to the Wo-man in the mirror”, cause that would be you. I’m a man, black at that, if you are trying to treat an adult male like something special, before he has earned that something special status, don’t be surprised by that something–peace B
Hi Bryan.
You said a mouthful. A head-full, and a heart-full. I feel you, too..
Also glad to hear that you (a man) feels (and can be man enough to admit)
exactly what you said (which too, are my sentiments):
“if you are trying to treat an adult male like something special, before he has earned that something special status, don’t be surprised by that something”
I appreciate your taking the time to read and dialogue about it as well.
-Angela
Be well my sister–peace