A Girl in the World & the World in a Girl…

{October 20, 2012}   Mirror Mirror.

It’s Reflective.



When you think of, and wish for all the:
-wonderful and
-right things you want for you and your life; chances are, the next man wants and thinks of those things for himself too.

If you want it in and for your life-chances are, the next man wants it in and for his life, too.
If you do not want it in and for your life-chances are, the next man does want it in and for his life-just the same.

So what are you going to:
-begin doing
-stop doing, or
-do over

…too, or just the same-either way?

{February 19, 2012}   Show.

Like “love” we tend to toss that word around to express
its action without actually expressing its action.
…and we stop there. The intent, the thought,
and the sentiment is good enough (so we think).

Like “positive” or “be positive,” we tend to toss that
sentiment around as an (ill-attempt) to encourage-without
actually assisting, encouraging, ennobling, motivating, or inspiring.
“Please don’t disturb my groove,” is what that means
when we merely toss that sentiment.
Because we toss it, and we stop there.
The sentiment is good enough to make us look good without
actually taking action on making to whom we send its sentiment-do
positive enough, or feel positive enough.

In expressing gratitude, we are quick to say: “I’m so inspired.”
…and we stop there. That so open-ended and momentarily sincere…
Inspired to:
-Feel what?
-Share what?
-Be what?
-Do what?
-Change what?
-Dream what?

When we speak of things, ask, and answer questions to ourselves
(like we do to, and around others); our personal integrity can do
nothing but force us to genuinely act upon what we say.
(That is…when we have personal integrity)…
When we think it, we feel it-we then, act upon it…(as best we can).

Instead of being so quick to “throw” love
(under the guise of positivity and gratitude)-do something about it,

-Feel love
-Be love
-Shave love
-Give love


“Toss” love.
“Throw” love.
and show-off, Love…

How about:
“Show love,” my Love…

Anything less than demonstrative of all the above is positively
counterproductive, conducive to, and equal to nothing = NEGATIVE.
That’s what “negative” means: of, doing, equaling to nothing.

So let’s get over sounding deep and looking good for “show.”
Let’s stop pointing fingers at, and outward.
Dig deeper.
Go in.
Mean it (if you can’t show it).
And if you’re not gonna show, that’s cool-but don’t say it.
Simply act like you don’t know.
Because if you don’t show.
You can’t grow.
And you can’t very well Ennoble, Assist, Encourage, Motivate,
or Inspire someone else to grow if you don’t “Show.”
You know?…

If power of life and death is in the tongue, then we not only
should be careful with what we say, but as well-we ought be
careful with what we do (and do not do)…with what we say, too.

What’s good for the gander will always and forever
(equally) be good for the goose.

That being said:
-What do you?
-What mean you?
-What say you?

{February 14, 2012}   Fortunate.

I love this song so much because it reminds me or three words that,
although have much ‘ado about sex and lust, where this song is
concerned-it has nothing to do with sex or lust:

“Adoration” and “Passion.”

It reminds me of the kind of love that a man feels for a woman
with his hands behind his back.
His only Valentine gift being a construction paper cut-out shape
of a heart; cut to precision-looking as though although it was handcrafted,
he took his time to cut it with what he felt about her-around the entire
circumference of the heart: carefully.

As he hands it to her, he does so with the kind of smile where he bites his bottom lip,
a dip in his brow-and tells her with his eyes: “It’s gonna get greater-later.”

And when the greater arrives-later, he still bites his bottom lip, with that same dip
in his brow; telling her that same thing with his eyes: in the good times, as well as the bad times.

He never lost that feeling about her-ever.

That is how and when a man truly feels fortunate to have his woman-all the time.

In my opinion. From in my heart.


{February 14, 2012}   Grow. Love.

I often contemplate love.
Because if you really know love, you know that there is always a new and better way to do it-everyday. That’s how you grow love.

And that’s how you grow, Love.

{November 23, 2011}   Making The World A Better Place.

Of the manys ways we speak of-to make the world a better place,
none will ever be as remedial as the fact that if we were as
quick to love, as we are to hate. And as quick to be motivated
and inspired as the fear & envy we contemplate; the world
would be a much better place…

{November 6, 2011}   love, Love.

I often think about “love.”

It’s almost undefinable, because it can go on and on,
and mean so many things to so many different people.

But one thing I DO know about love is this:

You can’t just “love” someone because you “love”
so many things about them.

To truly love someone is to not only love their attributes,
virtues and light. You have to be introduced to, accept them,
and love them when their vices and darkness overshadows their light.

So what DO I know about love?

I know that if you ever called yourself loving someone,
and their vices stood in front of their lightness,
and you hated them-then what you did was lust them, like them,
or you were simply infatuated by them-what you felt wasn’t
really “love” for them.

Because you can’t love someone until you’ve loved and stuck
with them-even when you [felt like you] “hated” them…

No matter what kind of love, Love.

What is love?
Show me your hazy.
Show me your crazy.
I’ll show you: “yes,” “no,” “might be,” or “maybe.”


{October 5, 2011}   Night and Day

With gratefulness and appreciation for both: the night and the day; gives us ample the time with more to do in a twenty-four hour day.

Things that life are made of.

Do it.

{October 4, 2011}   Excuse Me. Let Me Explain.

Excuses (like explanations), are like credit due: you give or offer them where they’re owed.

{October 4, 2011}   Life.

☼ Life is sooooo underrated…♡ Score. ☼

{October 3, 2011}   Rising Sun.

Sunrise is a gift of the new day where its
presents are clarity for your vision(ary)
and a Picasso for your clear canvas’ painting.

Repair. Prepare. Renew.

{September 20, 2011}   Day and Night.

Every morning, I am thankful for the gift of the day-for
allowing me to open it and chose my present-present.

Every night, I pray to have held on to; my heart and head.
And keep them in sync while I dream to make manifest dreams
that don’t have to be chased, but rather, within my reach
from out of my sleep.

What are you thankful for, and dream of when you’re awake
from your sleep?


{September 13, 2011}   Bringing Sand to the Beach

If life is what we make it.
We can:
*make sandcastles in the sand
*bury ourselves beneath it
*sink in it
*leave footprints in it

{September 6, 2011}   Pinch.

All the time.

The Creator can be so good to you that you have to pinch yourself in preparation for the other shoe to drop.

Then you have to pinch yourself to remember that He doesn’t even wear them.

Just be blessed.

Any act of kindness that we can recollect is unknowingly pretentious.

Kindness is merely apart of who we are or who we aren’t-about as much as urinating is apart of what we do.

If kindness is who we are, it is merely apart of what we do.

Can you recollect how many times you urinated today?

{June 17, 2011}   A Certain Kinda Guarantee.

Uncertainty is that thing that we know nothing is guaranteed and certain except uncertainty itself.

But, for certain, there is one guarantee: that’s what life and living is all about.

Life itself is certainly beautiful.

{June 11, 2011}   Loose Ends.

Loose ends.
Weeks’ end.
It’ll have to be more than just then name of a group’s band.
It should have a knot tied tight at its end.

The wind.

{June 9, 2011}   Love Reflection.

When you find something to latch onto for you-you are less likely to latch onto things-and lose you.

Magnetically, things that are for you will latch onto and connect to you.

That which is not, will lose and loosen from you.

{June 9, 2011}   Mouth Over Matter.

Always own up to and be aware of your own (negative) feelings: where they are, why they are, and how they’re kept when it comes to indignation of another person (who has no knowledge of, played no part or participation in, and nothing to do with the rumblings on inside of you).

It’s not healthy to go around carrying a big knife for people over the goings on in your mind-especially if you’ve never even had a conversation with them about it: out of your mouth.

That means it’s just all in your head (literally).

{June 7, 2011}   Who We Be.

Of the hardest battles in life, we all are quick to say that it is life itself.

But if you think about it-one of the hardest battles in life is to treat people (not so much as the way we wish to be treated), but rather, the way they ought to BE (period)…the way our positive minds and hearts would see them (rather than, and in spite of whomever and however they may “be…”)

{May 1, 2011}   Woo Bring Thee Joy.

Life can seem sadistic-teetering on masochistic.

There is no “simple solution” to it.

We feel unhappy with it sometimes because we think we are supposed to be happy in it.

But the truth is, we have to take our joy from it-like a thief in the light…

Happy is a condition.

Joy is the only state of mind that is the state of being.

Whether we realize or accept it as fact, “happy” is a fluctuating and fleeting emotion; contingent upon so many things that ignite it (long or short-term).
But pursue it-intently while remaining gratefully content with where you are and what you already have, and with that-joy will definitely be found.

{March 29, 2011}   Case of the Fake People

It’s delusion.

When people do not know you, but want and expect something from you-they will often call you fake because they (subconsciously) know their rationale is ego-centered and unreal-so, the only way to justify their thinking is to call you “fake.”

How presumptuous, and preposterous.


“Fake” is a common word turned moniker, damned you by those who either: don’t know you and want to know you, or once upon a time in life, had your real and full attention-undivided, and no longer do (usually because of their own inaction or actions).

We will even go so far as to use terms, words and sayings such as:
“he/she is the devil,” “he/she is a snake,” “I see him/her for what they really are,” “he/she is wicked,” “now I see his/her true colors,” etc. as if our subjective feelings are objective facts.

The more deluded of us, will even go so far as to even attacking someone else’s character over ourfeelings (as if they are substantial).

Our personal feelings and what we want or expect from another are not indicative of that person’s: person, integrity or character.

If someone literally stole something from you and are no where to be found, question their character and integrity-call them fake.

If someone breached a contract with you or reneged on any (mutually agreed upon) commitment with you-question their character and integrity-call them fake.

Examples like those are substantial-they have merit and reason-nothing to do with our “feelings.”
They are just facts (of actual happenings-not emotions).

When we are emotionally mature (and true to ourselves), we do not go around convicting people based on our emotions.
That’s federal (and foolish).

People die everyday in spirit, of broken hearts and literally die-all over other people’s EMOTIONS.
People lose jobs over other people’s emotions, lose money, lose relationships, lose deals-all that (over people’s unreasonable and unchecked personal emotions).
Wars are even fought because of emotions.
You have to deal with them accordingly-properly.

Most emotion goes haywire when left unchecked and properly articulated and expressed (to whom it concerns).
That’s what’s “fake.”

When we are real (and not fake-ourselves), we hold our selves accountable for our own personal feelings rather than projecting them off onto other people; labeling other people messy and sticky things that are sticky in our messy and heads and hearts’ eye-view.

We have to hold ourselves accountable for the part we play in things (spoken or unspoken) even if we think the other person does not know…
What we “think” shows in our actions (and inaction).
Every single human being’s intuition is in use like animals’ instincts are.
Some of ours is just stronger than others. But do not underestimate your fellow human being’s intuition-simply because something is kept in your head…
Your aura will tell on you anyways-you will “give it off,” so do not expect other people to respond to you based upon (what you think) they do not know…
We are all sensitive/feeling/intuitive beings.
So if it is in your head-it is in your heart-so, hold yourself accountable to the reactions you get, as well as your actions or inactions you give (or get).

When we do hold ourselves accountable for our own feelings, it is then (and only then) that we grow to be emotionally mature and are able to live and let live-be liberated in our thinking and feeling; thus freeing others from our delusional, emotional, unreal and fake grasps-clarity then begins, and we are truly able to decipher (and accept) what it is we simply “feel” (in our own heads and hearts) versus what really is not…

Don’t let your personal feelings fake you out. Grow up.

In the court of life, you cannot win cases on “feelings.”
You win cases on facts that can be proven and substantiated beyond a reasonable doubt.

“Feelings” are not reasonable (in a factual/objective sense).
Because they are: subjective, relative, varying, situational, individual-specific. Period.

However, the good thing about feelings is that, if it means that much to us that we allow other people to occupy space in our heart and mind’s time; then that is when it is evident and clear that we need to be pleading our case to whom it concerns.

And well, if we find that we cannot do that-then we have nothing but proof that we are either: delusional or irrational, as are our thoughts and feelings about what’s real and what’s fake.

Hold that truth to be self-evident…It will truly make you brave (and free).

What say you?


{March 17, 2011}   Square Biz and Balance Beams

Life is a funny thing.

I learn that we really “live it” when we stop trying to figure it all out.

Daily, I get some kind of confirmation from above that we will never figure it all out-because we are imperfect and human.

The only thing that is of “one,” constant, and balanced is that which is omnipotent-the rest come in twos as does the balance, continuity and consistency (that we seek).

What strenghtens us is to experience one thing and then opposite that thing.

We cannot fully know the effects of one thing, unless we have caused or felt the effects of opposite that thing.

We (as imperfect humans) are always teetering on the balance beam of life-trying to make it stand still.
We can never fully obtain this:

It is not for us to “obtain.”
I believe that it is for us to accept that we can never obtain it (consistently). That is merely “life happening” (as it is should).

No matter how perfectly “balanced” we have in mind a thing to be, or what we are to do, often times, something always comes along and knocks us off our square-putting us in a position to have to do some last minute changes and rearranging.

Day by day, in learning to really “live,” I believe that is how it is supposed to be, so that when all is balanced and consistent; we learn to appreciate it-like a surprise and gift.

In centering ourselves and getting our minds right, the best we can do [while in the moment of a thing], is ask ourselves: “is this thing right for me, after this thing?” (Whatever that “thing” may be).

Because in accepting the fact that some days we are surprised, blessed and granted with being firmly planted on our square, for the times we are not, the best we can do is to feel ahead and think ahead by having one of the most essential and valuable conversations we can have with ourselves-alone and in complete silence-beginning with these questions:

“Who am I?”

“How am I?”

“Why am I?”

…then we have the answer to “I am…” (fill in the blank).

After which, no one can knock you off your square-no matter how life happens.

I believe that no matter what happens, as long as we can answer those questions, we can get clear-and allow life to happen and then we can happen to life.

{March 11, 2011}   Kiss of Life.

Flirting with the delete key of life, virtual or otherwise-a kiss becomes essential.

That kiss, in certain farewells that we bid, should be considered their
kiss of life: a spiritual favor and deed-deemed necessary by cutting off your
lifeline to certain things or people (so that you may help them discover that
they-themselves-really do have a life…outside of you).

Despite their claims and proclaims to not; some people
love drama and turmoil-constantly: all day-everyday.
They invite their minds and spirits to it-they insist on it-really (despite what they say).

They say you get “it” how you live “it.”
And you get “it” how you give “it.”

The same is true for what we seek.
When you seek peace, love or inspiration-you will find: peace, love and inspiration.
When you seek seek strife, drama and turmoil-you will find: strife, drama and turmoil.
It’s that simple.
In life and with people-you get what you come for (regardless the degree of it).

Certain people do not have the strength to free themselves.
That is because they do not have peace within themselves, so, they cannot
know how…they only know of what they really love constantly

In such case(s) you have to teach them and show them (by freeing them).

When they flirt with the delete key of life (virtual or otherwise) then you must kiss them.

Simple as that.

Sometimes, that is the best and kindest thing you can do for them, so that they can
discover and find the kind of peace that you feel, the kind of peace that you
insist on having and living (and wish to not to have disrupted).

When you truly love yourself…you truly value yourself and your peace.

When you truly know love and peace-then you are able to
[and have no problem with] demonstrating these words:

If I cannot be a gift to you, then the best I can be is a lift to you-for you.
Thank me for you loving you (enough) when you didn’t love yourself enough (to free yourself).
Thank me for pointing you in the direction of what it means to love yourself-by freeing you and
giving you the wish and kiss of life. Peace

Whether sipping on cheap bottles of wine,
pina colada, or nature’s finest–diluting: cloud,
mud, or smog (from the world outside love)…fluidity can bring about a kind
of clarity where newness can begin again.

These two songs remind me of that. Take a listen to the lyrics of both songs. I love ’em:



{March 1, 2011}   Who You Be.

After the proclaim, you do not have to say
what you do or how you do.
Because when you do what you do;you live what you do,
and be what you do.
Others will know who you be by what you do
…that requires no elaboration or explanation-only what we say does.
We do, who we be.
We be, who we are.
Or we say what we do.

{February 21, 2011}   Needle. Then the Haystacks.

Live out loud.

Outlive “crowd.”

{February 20, 2011}   Perception Reflection.

Perception is everything to every individual-individually.

In its (relative truth), it is reality from behind ones own eyes,
rather than from the front of them, yet, something altogether different
from behind the eyes of the next individual…

That’s the beauty and uniqueness about each of our very own perceptive
realities, because they are our very own…

Henceforth, why it is always important to live your very own (individual)
reality as you [not only see fit] but as you see it

Because when all is seen, supposed, said and done, it
(or you) is never seen “one way.”

Do You.
Live You.
Be You.
For You.
And, for your eyes only…

{February 19, 2011}   Assuming Positions.

This blog, here, is one that I originally started on February 4th, 2011.
It had been on my mind to blog about there are so many avenues within the
issues/subject matters itself that I wanted to touch on-while still getting
my point/message across to my blog readers, because…(let me explain how I run
what I write on my blog)
Because this particular blog definitely begs for elaboration by
prefacing what I am about to blog about, by having read that section.

Read it?
Okay, here we go:
Regardless of how independent we are, or how much we love the company of
ourselves and can stand to be alone with ourselves for any amount of time
(some people can’t); a sense of belongingness is something that is just as
much apart of a human need (of any mentally and emotionally healthy individual).
It just is.
If we refer to what’s know in psychology as “Maslow’s Pyramid/Hierarchy of Needs”
(which is something I could not disagree with), we probably both would agree with
him in that the mentally and emotionally healthy human being and thriving and
functioning member of society would first secure his/her:
(1) Physical needs (for air, water, food, rest, exercise, and
awareness that freedom from diseases and disabilities are lifelong “goals” in order to
have a basic healthy quality of life).

(2) Security needs (for safety, shelter and stability-self-explanatory).

(3) Social needs (the need for being loved, belongingness and feeling included-self-explanatory).

(((4))) Ego (the need for self-esteem, power, recognition, prestige-met
through external sources of achievement and recognition via promotions/bonuses and other
perks that make us feel validated, no matter how “independent” we are, we all still have
that physiological need in order for us to thrive).

(((5))) Self-Actualization (the need for development and
creativity-met through autonomy and achievement).

The Game of Life (and Our Positions in it) Really is a Pyramid.

#1. (very bottom of the pyramid-PHYSICAL)
We cannot survive and/or live a healthy life without #1

#2. (second from the bottom of the pyramid-SECURITY)
We either go into what’s psychologically known as “fight or flight” mode if we cannot
secure #2 (when we are mentally and emotionally healthy). If by some unfortunate circumstance,
we lose the “fight or flight” will in #2, we succumb to the circumstance: spiritually and
emotionally and as [per society eyes] are considered not a “normal functioning” member of it.
Various things happen from there on.

#3. (third up from the bottom of the pyramid-SOCIAL)
Where that need is concerned, it all varies from person to person to one degree or another-example.
I know that you probably know some people who spend some much of their life’s time attaching
themselves to organizations and all things external for the sake of saying that they belong
to a thing that at the end of the day, when all is said and done and “belonged out,” they don’t
even belong to themselves. We all know one or a few people in our lives like that. There are others
who are content with belonging to a steady job and a church. Yet, there are others who are most
content belonging to certain social groups that…make them feel or give them the “illusion”
that #4 and # 5 is being obtained by way of their #3 social need of belonging.

…Whereas the evolved, financially, emotionally and mentally self-sufficient human being
is aware that (4) and number (5) has work that comes with that…
It’s not a matter of securing numbers (1) through (3) and bouncing in an assumed position
of (4) and (5).

A lot of people meet their emotional, mental, occupational, financial, and spiritual demise #3.
That is the point where we are more apt to project our negative emotions and dissatisfaction
with our selves and this life onto others (who appear to be on and up to 4 and 5).
And we neglect to earn or work our way to spots 4 and 5.
When that is the case, we find ourselves in all kinds of hurtful situations-trying to: get
there, be there as maintain our (assumed) position-there (if we arrive at 4 and 5 without
having worked/earned our way there).

In order to reach numbers (4) and (5)-Ya’ ‘gotta “WORK” for it!.

If you reach (4) and (5) and you did not work for it-that means: Ya’ ‘gotta “PLAY” for it!

…and if you don’t know how to play the game, that means you have assumed a position in which
you were not: personally, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and socially adept enough to handle,
therefore, you will definitely get played with no one to blame but yourself.

Good news though.
We can blame that on one or two things:
-sheer naivete’ (being stuck at number (3) in life and having no clue how to reach number
(4) and number (5) of the pyramid)
-assumption, presumption or greed (being stuck in number (3) in life and not willing to
work for/earn number (4) and number (5)

Of the two things that we can blame it on, they are relative and in the hands of:
-he who judges the situation
-or, you, who (if true to yourself about the situation) can be realistic and come to terms
with how you lost in the game and come up with a new game plan with what to do about it
(next) time or do different, i.e (not play the game but-work for it).

As I’ve watched the reality show “Basketball Wives,” I ascertained (in Season 1)
that Shaunie O’Neal (Shaquille O’Neal’s ex-wife), was indeed the Queen Bee and captain.
(I am more than sure Gloria would object to that moniker, but in the role of the socialization
of this group/team in particular…she is).
Within this team, if you’re going to “play the game,” (by climbing up the pyramid to
number (4) and number (5) straight from number (3); by socialization alone;
if you are going to “play” on the team-you do have to acknowledge the captain-even
if you do not like the captain. And more importantly, if that captain is not you-know must
know (and know how to play) your position…
Do NOT “assume” it-not matter how “included” you may feel…

That is the pitfall of “socially climbing” up from “hierarchy need” number (3),
straight into number (4) and number (5) having not “worked” for it-and in this case:
stepping into the paint to play the game.
Having gone that route, if you are not socially adept and do not know how to play
the game and you do not know your position and how to play it, you are indeed in for a rude awakening…

The psychology of it all…we’re done with…
Now, it’s time to take it to the streets, brass taxes and Laymen’s terms…
Which brings me back to Royce…

…in all her naivete’ ‘s/assumptive/presumptive splendor.

As I watched the Reunion Special of Season 1 where Royce began to cry and thank
Shaunie for welcoming her into their circle, the look on Shaunie’s face
(in addition to Royce’s already undervalued position within this team) told me
(last Season) that she (Royce) was in for one rude-awakening…

It was sad to me because Royce’s tears and what she said to Shaunie was really sincere.
And the empathetic me-throughout my lifetime-has seen all too well, that same kind of
emotion displayed to people deemed “popular,” from people who were undervalued in social
circles (not as vocally demonstrative and open as Royce ingratiating herself to Shaunie at
the Reunion 1 show), but more physically demonstrative (of the same).

That happened to me before.

Quite unexpected, and in the middle of a regular conversation between girls, a friend
ingratiated herself to me-in that same manner and with those same tears as Royce.
Yet, my friend confessed something to me that happened some years ago-from way back
when we were kids. She said to me:
“Angie, and I just need to tell you something. I wanna just thank you so much…so-so
much for being a friend to me and accepting me for being just the way I was. I was nappy-head,
poor, my shoes had holes in them. I had 3 outfits to mix and match for 7-days a week.
I had no school supplies and could not make it to school some days because of those issues.
We were homeless and living from shelter-to-relative. I would be at school
(when I could make it there) with my feet literally touching the ground-from holes being
in the bottoms of my shoes.
Yet, when I would see you with all your friends; popular and not a care in the world-you
would always welcome me in and hug me. Those days in school for me-Angie-would really take
my mind off what I was going through. I looked forward to coming to school a lot of
days-because of you. At home and in the neighborhoods, and even when I left your presence
at school, it was really hard for me-the ridicule and laughter and stuff. And I just want
to thank you for being a friend to me. That really meant a lot to me.
I made it through a lot of days thanks to you. I really felt special. Thank you so much.”

She cried her heart out.
When she said that to me-I was speechless and I cried my heart out, too.

She expressed that to me over the recent years. But every time I think about it-I can’t help
but cry. What she revealed to me, is still a shock to me and saddens me. Because I knew none
of those things were going on in her life, or her appearance even being as such. I just wasn’t
looking at that. She could sing and dance. And I liked her-so, that was all I saw and remembered.

(And for the record-this very moment in time-I am very disappointed
in that particular friend right now), but still, as I write this or if I think about it-I cry.
Her candidness and her (true) heart, is something altogether different than my ill feelings for
her (right now). Ill, so much so, that forfeiting our friendship is on heavy rotation in my mind
right now. That’s about how serious it is. But still, that’s still a separate thing to me
(from what she expressed to me a short time ago). I know what she felt was real-despite what we
are going through now. But that’s just me. Regardless of what ill feelings I may have for you,
if you bring me your heart and your truth, I can’t help but respond…and to feel…I’m a master
at deciphering what’s real (where I am concerned)…so I know truth (when it comes TO me).

So, when Royce expressed that same emotion on national television (however, as a grown woman to
another grown woman) about being accepted by her and into a circle as an adult (versus my friend
confessing the same to me-however, about when we were kids) obviously my heart went out to Royce.

I understand that Royce (a former NBA League Dancer/Cheerleader) and Shaunie (a former NBA Player’s wife),
are not, and have never been friends like my friend and me.
Yet, when I saw Shaunie’s response, (knowing-personally-how that felt to have someone
cry in front of you and ingratiate
themselves to you) despite their closeness (or lack thereof), I can’t lie-I thought Shaunie was evil.

Her lukewarm response, with that fake: “Oh don’t make me cry,” reply, made me say aloud:
“Oh you evil bitch. You don’t care.”
I rolled my eyes in my head.
(That was my emotional me, speaking aloud-having had someone pour themselves out to me in
that same way as well).

But then (like I said in the “‘SCOPE’ OF THIS BLOG SITE” section);
when I am watching these reality shows, I’m more interested in the social dynamics behind it all.
Because (with television/entertainment-period) it’s not worth it to you to try and decipher what’s
real or fake (if you have a life of your own to tend to).
Simple as that.
So, my life as a writer/blog post: “Assuming Positions” (by observation of group dynamics of
Basketball Wives…here we go…Emotion aside):

Shaunie: the producer of the show, slash former NBA players wife, slash Queen Bee slash
Captain of the team had a job to do.

Royce: former NBA Dance Team Cheerleader, slash ex-girlfriend and baby mama of an NBA player,
who ingratiated herself to the Queen Bee slash Captain of the team (circle), right in front of
the remaining Bee’s…(who are all wives and ex-fiance’s of NBA Players)…was going to have hell
to pay in order to maintain her position within that social circle (that she was so graciously
accepted into), that, at the end of the day-was only good for social positioning, television
and business.
Not personal, but Royce saw differently.

Any good producer would have allowed Royce in.
That producer just so happened to be Shaunie…

In Season 1, Royce’s acceptance in, put her in a position where unfortunately, she (obviously)
did not understand that within the social circle (team), she was the inferior one and least valued.

She asked in and then ingratiated herself and unlike the other girls (wives and ex’s of the NBA Player’s),
Royce’s association to the NBA (in all of their eyes) is pretty much a “groupie” who most probably
associates with other “groupies.”

It was sad (but very obvious) that Royce going to bat for these girls. Being apart of events,
fights, playing the mediator on in-fighting between other Basketball Wives and girlfriends and
having a big fallout with the most hated Basketball Wife (Gloria-who Shaunie, secretly, hated the
most, as it was alleged that Gloria’s sister slept with her husband Shaq).

During the entire Season 1 and into Season 2, Royce put in so much work, where I could see
(being naïve about the REAL reality of it all) she probably thought that with all the work she
was putting in-she too, was “one of the girls.”

No, that would never happen.

Royce could never be accepted as an “equal” on that team (circle) because of her association
in it all: “groupie”-in all their eyes. That won’t change.
Whereas amongst one another, they were ex’s and wives-they share a kind of kinship-friendship.

I could see how Royce so naively thought all her hard work paying off-even down to taking her
shoes off during Tami’s (an ex-BB wife) and Jennifer’s (a BB wife)’s fight .

Tami even stated: “Nobody CARES what Royce even THINKS!”

Reality check.

You can take off your shoes, slap Vaseline on your face and take off as many earrings as
you wish-to prove your alliance, zeal and dedication.
But even amongst in-fighting of these BB wives, Royce will never earn her keep or place
in a circle as such. But she was too naïve to understand her position because she was too busy
(literally) in the middle of everything trying to solidify her place in it.

But then she got that rude awakening in the worse way.
When she had an event that was important to her and wanted Evelyn, Jennifer an Suzie to attend.


When you ingratiate yourself to the Queen Bee (especially considering Royce’s undervalued position),
never-ever think that anything important to your will be a concern of theirs if the Queen Bee ‘aint coming.
In that social circle, Royce can’t move anything without Shaunie agreeing to move the hive.
Love it or hate it, Shaunie’s the Captain and Queen Bee and the one who Royce ingratiated
herself to-therefore, everything important to Royce has to be important to Shaunie-first.

Royce didn’t understand that.

Bless her heart.

But I couldn’t understand Royce reprimanding Evelyn, Jennifer and Suzie. She was wayyyy
out of line and mistook her position.
Evelyn and Jennifer laughed at her.
Suzie (though “defunct” from the circle), really had no interest or care either.

Royce confronts Suzie

Evelyn and Jennifer by phone to Royce

I felt bad for Royce because it was painfully obvious that she did not understand her position.
Her assumption about it was spiraling out of control.
She was making her rounds chin-checking everybody like she was really “A Basketball Wife” and “one of the girls.”


In (producer)’s eyes…This is television.
Royce was good for business/television.
The help in the fights was good for television too.

No matter what battles Royce fought-they are wives of ball players. And as far as they (will always be concerned)
Royce is the baby mama of a ball player whose way in was by doing a groupie’s job (being on a NBA Dance Team).

But that was the reality of the reality…

Moral of the story.
When it comes down to group dynamics, (something we all find ourselves in at sometime in life,
regardless the level or whatever extreme), it is always important to ask yourself: “Why am I here?”
and “What makes me invaluable or necessary as well?”

It was all no different than, let’s say, Shaq.

His 3-point shots were always suspect, but his position on the team wasn’t “3-Point Shooter.”
His actual position, is what kept him on the team, not so much his contribution to it (3-point shooting).

In Royce’s situation, all that fighting, all that mediating, all that work she put in; she assumed
she was solidifying a “position,” when those things were merely “contributions.”

She never had a “position” within that team (circle).

But let me level the playing field for them all…

The bright side about it (in Royce’s favor), regardless of all this Twitter
fighting back and forth…

…is that at the end of the day, outside of the team (circle),
they are all on the same team, and in the same circle, stuck at hierarchy
#3; all having been brought into hierarchy #4 and #5 by social climb and association as “Wife,”
by their NBA husbands and ex-fiancés (just like Royce by her ex/NBA fiancé/baby-daddy as well).

That’s the “real” reality-in all fairness to all of them. (Well, maybe except for Jennifer
because her dad drove her to middle school in a Porsche!) j/k.


But, all jokes and hurt aside, when it’s all said and done, outside of their little matrix,
no one is any less or greater in relevancy than the next.

Because neither one of them “worked” to reach hierarchy #4 and hierarchy #5- they ALL married,
dated, or baby-mama’d into it JUST the same.
The “work” involved, was merely “earning” the title of “wife” and maintaining that title…

{February 17, 2011}   Competency About Competition.

We all love a friendly [or even a heated and intense] game of competition
where the ball is being: bounced, thrown, caught or hit.

Though competition [is first] for the courts or fields; in the game of life
(when you are alive and living it); you cannot ignore the game of
“survival of the fittest” (a moniker given behind the psychology of it all,
but typically expressed when describing the game of life in the wild-for sure).

Roar, because the ball is in your court now.

Catch this:

When whatever it is that you do, you do it firstly (for you) and it
fulfills you (whether you or not you are paid for it) and that thing is
like second-nature to you; then that thing is a blessing that was gifted
to you-therefore, you have no competition.
What you have is called: CONTENDERS and RUNNER UP’s.

Those contenders are: time and other life demands that compete with you for
your time-pulling for your attention; asking from you-your undivided.
You know-that same reciprocal thing that you in turn ask for: time for yourself,
to practice and hone in on doing whatever it is you were blessed with.

Now beat this:

When and with whom did the Creator have competition with?

Counting down: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Game over. No thing, no one.
High score: Infinite.
Competitor: None.

That said, anything that you are blessed with is a gift from the Creator.
So if the Creator gifted it to you-it is already your “win.”
You have no “competitors,” only contenders of time and the demands of life.
Outside of that, you only have runner ups: those who put themselves into (an imagined)
competition with you because they are the ones scrapping, fighting and ripping at you as
if they haven’t their own blessings.

Foul play.
They have not taken the time to hone in on and discover what (or who) they are.

Scored tied.

Sometimes their blessings can be the same as yours, yet, they’re too busy concerning themselves
with your blessings to discover ways to use and unique their own.

In this lifetime, whether creative or technical, you have to know (and accept) that there is
pretty much nothing “new” under the sun. There are only new ways to do it or present it.
You cannot present a new way to do any thing until you learn to unique your own way of being
and doing a thing.

Game on.
Sometimes in order to do so, selfishness is a prerequisite.

Have you ever been called “selfish?”

I’m not talking about being called selfish with your money or other materialisms.

I’m not even talking about being called selfish because you’re the type who can dominate a
conversation with all things “you” so much so, that by the time the other person speaks,
you’re now out of time to listen.

I’m talking about the kind of selfishness where you have been so enthralled and caught up in
loving, honing in on and working at something so much, that you’ve been called “selfish” a time
or two (because that was your order of importance or priority) over anything else-that’s the kind
of selfish I am talking about.

That kind of “selfishness” is something that is not such much about the working on/at a particular
blessing of talent, or skill; but rather-the repetition and practice of a thing that creates not only
preparation (should opportunity arise), but yields one thing on top of another thing on top of another
thing, where, because of this habit (in its due time) you will have created many things (regardless
if it was through talent and skills or practice and will).
Habitually having done one thing on top of another thing, if a (negative) challenge (or opportunity)
presents itself, you are prepared, packaged and ready to get it crackin.’

The point of that is this.
Be it through the blessing of talent or skill or discipline and will; sometimes being a little bit
“selfish” (by my abovementioned definition) will put you ahead of the game (whatever that game may be).

Because people only feel a sense of competition with you when they are one, or all these things:
a) Feel that you are better than them at a thing
b) Wish that they, too, could do/be that thing
c) They are not prepared (even if they could do the same thing)

Don’t misinterpret what I am saying about preparation, because for some of us, some of our best is bred
as a result of being under time restraints and pressure. So when we are challenged by a “friendly”
game of “competition” (a business deadline or opportunity), the right kind of adrenaline gets to
pumping and that creative juice starts to flow, we can create masterpieces.

But when someone catapults you into an unfriendly game of “competition,” be competent about the
Competent meaning: be realistic about your ability to demonstrate how prepared you are to rise to
the challenge (of your unfriendly competition’s preparedness)-not their talent, not their skills,
not their ability (even if in your eyes-lack thereof, as compared to yours)…

Regardless of a presentable past or reputation to have done or the ability to do a thing, when you
answer and step up to an unfriendly game of competition (at the end of the day), being competent about it,
is what will make you the winner or the loser.

You do not have to answer to negative every challenge you are invited to.
Sometimes our occupations…our surroundings and even the people we think love us are all up in our
ears and ego, sending us spiraling out of control. When we answer to challenge for which we are not
quite prepared for, we look almost like we are hurriedly throwing boxes out of window with the landlord
and bailiff at the door-coming to put us out.

Have you ever been in a rush because you were running late for something very important and while leaving,
you can’t find your keys, your left shoe, your credit card and all things of importance?
All the while, that moment is approaching and you and your things are all over the place.
Eventually you gather them all, hop in the car, step on the gas and go full steam ahead trying to get there.
By the time you pull up to your destination, you’re still huffing and puffing and meanwhile, everybody turns
to look at you like” “what the hell?” (Happened to me-just the other day) LoL. At any rate.

You look out of control to them.
Not so much as “out of control/crazy,” but out of control/unprepared (rather than prepared, relaxed and ready
to get it crackin’)…
Not being prepared does not make you a loser. It simply makes you unprepared to win.
Not being prepared but answering to the prepared, simply makes you look like the loser-even if you know
(and all else know) you are a winner.

The preparation and package is what’s palpable. Not your past, parlance or pandemonium.
Because when all the roaring dies down, the winner of the game is the one who proved themselves most prepared
with the complete and delivered package presented…

Excuse my French and in my Antoine Dodson voice I’ll forewarn: “Hide ya eyes!”

Fuck boxes.
At the end of the day, nobody gives a damn about boxes.
They only hold things that are in preparation for the up and out!

Package, tighten and hold on to your respect for your blessed talent or skills before answering a
challenge unprepared-especially if you want to maintain respect for your talent or skills because as
harsh as it sounds, people love to kick you when you’re down, give audience when you clown or look desperate
for money, attention, relevancy and significance.
They don’t love you.
They make a mockery of your wrong moves (even when they know that your talents or skills outweigh your
wrong moves)…
What went out the window will be all they remember-no matter how much they claim to love you, support
and keep it real with you…

Look at Super Bowl Night, though Christina Aguellera is known for her talent, skill and ability to sing a hole
in a wall if she wanted to, the only thing the world cared about was the fact that she showed up unprepared.
And that’s what they hung onto.
Anything else about her regarding what she could and did do-went straight out the window.

Moral of the story is this.
When you know who you are, and you know what your blessings are-then you stand in the middle of that.
Go back to being a little bit “selfish,” and not only will you come back prepared and ready, but competent in
how to handle your functions with your contenders and runners up.
When you stand “selfishly” in your blessings and who you are, your contenders and runner up’s can never mistake
their positions.

With Love, Angela

{February 16, 2011}   Universe. Time. Yours. Mine.

Time is a funny thing.
You have a brand new appreciation for it when (even for a short amount of time), you spend time doing something else that you would much rather not be doing. And while doing so, you fantasize about all the things you would rather be doing, that-when that time was gifted to you-you did not respect it like you should have.

Time has been called many things from: mother, father, unforgiving and a thief.

Yet, the one other thing about Time is that while it slowly moves, and that pendulum swings and does its thing; it is subtly forgiving as well.

Forgiving in that, while it can be unforgiving (once it passes); that time becomes the past (every single second and minute of the day-consider it spent-no change left over. Yet,

the universe will sometimes conspire with Time to allow certain things to be removed or rearranged in your life, to allow Time to swing its way right back around to you and seductively ask: “I’m back now, so what are you going to do with me: now?

When the universe acts as a go-between and brings Time back around to you; you value Time, respect Time, and treat Time a whole lot better than you did when that time was once before-yours.

The relationship with Time, is a funny thing.
It is a gift and something to be cherished, valued and guarded with your life, for life.

Enjoy your time, today-all day, everyday.
Because once it is spent, it’s spent-no saving or change given back.

There’s no account made possible for it, we simply have to account for it.
So, make it count for something.

{February 15, 2011}   Eat. Pray. Live Life to Be Alive.

Life is really a beautiful thing.

And so are people (and all alive things in it).

Everyday, even on moments in days when I feel not so inspired by life; in a matter of minutes, I find: people, scenery, and various things that bring me right back in it.

Just…little things are life-affirming for me. And I feel grateful, then thankful, then blessed.

Day by day, I learn that one of the main ways to be free in spirit and to truly “live and let live,” is to be at peace with the fact that all things we dislike and disapprove of in others (in some variation or another) we too, have either done or met the very same disapproval in the eyes of another.

It is a repeated cycle of life that we will all continuously do (on both ends), so, about the best that we can [humanly possible] do is, blow it in the wind rather than digest it.

I learned that when you fight against that realization as being a fact of life-it is very hard for you to not only live it-but also hard for you to be alive in it.

Often times, (as it pertains to people, rather than life situations) “it is what it is,” is not only some trite, misused and recycled choice of words for lack of better ones; but it is also relative judgment of another. (Relative interpretation of your personal feelings-rather than their reality).

“It is-whatever,” is letting the alive: live, and in doing so, you too, can ingest, live, and be alive (just like them).

Large or small, in spite of affliction and all; life is good-filled with beautiful people doing and feeling wonderful things.

Thriving and truly living life is the focus and concern on all the things we can love and do (something) about.

There is a whole big something of a world out there to love about, and do about.

Won’t you have some?

{February 10, 2011}   Run to the Light.

…you can really do that when you are fully in control
of your own person.

When you are fully in control of your very own person,
you do not have to spend your precious mind’s time and energy
trying to steer clear of things that are not only
out of control-but also out of yourcontrol as well.

Spending too much time concerning yourself with a thing
will consume you with that very same thing-even when you think
and insist you that you are running opposite and steering clear of it.
Because you think about it too much.
You focus on it more often than you would like to admit to.
You focus on it so much so, that you could not count your mental
consumption of it even if your tried to.

What we focus on-expands, regardless, whatever that focal point is.
Keep focusing on running from a thing only leads you to that thing.

As we spend our minds time and energy being that which we
(think) we run opposite of; we only mirror that thing.
We are full with it rather than constantly proclaiming to run
and steer clear of another thing (that we do not want).

Focusing on that thing you want to run to-lights the way to it.
Focusing on that thing you want to run from lights the way to that thing, as well.

That thing we want to run to, we have to simply be that thing,
do that very same thing and then we will become that thing.

We are what we repeatedly do.

We be.
We do.
We are.
Regardless the surrounding (that is, when we are fully in control of our very own person).
No surrounding.
No person.
No thing is responsible for how you: be, what you do and who you are (if they do not control you).
You and only you are in control of [and therefore are responsible for] your person.

Simple as that.

P.S-Never point, scream about and proclaim to run from/steer clear of a thing simply
because you have not taken your mind’s time or given energy towards focusing
on a thing [that you say] it is you do want…

Take inventory of as well as responsibility for:
-how you truly be
-what you truly do
-what (and how) you really are

When you stand in who you (really) are, you do not have to run from anything…

One to grow on-growing forward.

{February 10, 2011}   The Old Man with the Can.

Everyone laughed, (including me).
He was startled.
The frown in his brow had the familiar look as if he had heard
those kinds of taunts one time too many, and especially here of late.
He tightened his utility belt and gathered his bags, and extra-large
heavy-duty garbage can then pushed it to the center of the isle.

My eyes met his.
I could feel his heart beating and a mile a minute; matching the
uneasiness he was feeling from everyone laughing so loud and so
hard…belly laughs.

I had to let him know that the burst of laughter had nothing to do
with him at all. (I only had a few seconds to communicate this without literally
communicating it to him). So I looked at the guy and girl who were the
subjects of the laughter:
“Oh man, you should have seen you two guys both sitting right next to each
other-chair-to-chair; both of you nodding and falling asleep in unison.
I’ve never seen anything like that!”
I lead.

(Everyone began to adlib and imitate the sources of our laughter).

I looked back up at the man and gave him a respectful nod and said to him:
I beg your pardon,” while using my hands to demonstrate the need for
all of us to make room in the isle for him to walk through.

He relaxed his brow.
Although his heart beat slowed down a bit, he still did not fully trust me,
(so he gave me an “e” for effort).

I handed it right back to him though (mine was for empathy).
Because I understood…
That startled expression on his face told me everything I needed to know…
Regardless, even if he were in a $3000 double-breasted Italian suit and $800
leather shoes, I still saw a man-a man whose face and facial expression had a
story to tell.

He had cleaned enough office buildings, and walked through far too many isles
to this same kind of laughter (most probably about him: An aging veteran,
insisting on working any job available to him. He would much rather die on one
of the many floors he swept, vacuumed and mopped than to die at home on his own
floor-doing nothing but pacing it).
I could tell.

I knew his story…
While turning the pages of it, I could tell that he had experienced life as-was
now caught up into life as-is.
It read:
“Look at all these inconsiderate kids in this isle. Computers, laughing and
playing on the job-sitting on their asses most probably watching new-age cartoons
and playing video games 90% of the day. Probably doing real work only the other 10% of it.
They have no idea what “real” work is. Neither one of ’em haven’t a
callous on their hands or a real soul in their chests-insensitive, pompous assholes and
inglorious bastards, these kids are. No care in the world and especially none for the next man.
I could sit and tire them all out with stories of what “real” hard work is.
They couldn’t even handle it in a conversation; much less entertain the thought of doing it!”

I closed the page of his book and watched him walk through the isle with his extra-large
heavy duty garbage can leading the way.
Still, I sent him packing and off with that respectful nod, letting him know that
I read his story.
Final score:
E: Empathy for Him.
E: Effort from Me, (still) 😦

And still…I went home to my “as-is” life, and my “as-is” living: A side of hurry up-no wait,
wrapped with everything in an instant.
This is life!

I thought nothing of the old man for the next twenty-four to thirty-six hours.

Then, he reappeared.
Same bat-time.
Same bat-channel.

We were all turned to the computers (actually doing “real” work as we knew it).
The isle was free and clear.
It was quiet this time.
Not so quiet that you could hear a pin drop, but you could hear the keys of about ten hands
(free of calluses) typing at a speed that was still unimpressive to the old man.
No one seemed to be impressed with him either-ever, he didn’t even exist.
His presence was so unacknowledged and unimpressive that, if he was crazy and wanted
to do anything crazy; no one in the whole office could probably even identify him.

As if I had eyes on the sides and back of my head, while still typing, I watched as
he would do his norm: reach under or around each of us at our cubicles-in search of
our mini garbage cans filled with soda-cans, paper and snack wrappers from having eaten
all day (allegedly, while working -so his mind said, and I read in this open book of his).
I read on:
“I hope none of you spilled anything that’ll smell,” said the man.
“Because I’m going to grab and dump-no new clear plastic baggies for you little
boys and girls,”
he laughed to himself.

By the time he got closer to my cubicle, I quietly turned to look at him across from me,
dumping my co-workers mini garbage can-still lined with the same liner warmed-over and over and over.

I turned my head quickly, so that he couldn’t see me stare while reading his book.
I closed it quickly.

Instead of the norm and what he was used to happening to him floor wide;
I had to show him different.
I had to show him that someone acknowledged his hard work and that it was work nonetheless.
I had to show him that not all boys and girls were inglorious, pompous, insensitive and
inconsiderate bastards, and that sometimes-we just get swept away in our own little
cubicles of the world and only tend only to (unfortunately).
Blame it on the as-is (or just, as we are)-still, I wanted him to know that he was
appreciated and that if no one read his book, I at least did.
So instead of having him bend down and underneath the cubicle desk where I sat,
in search of my mini garbage can; I took it upon myself to reach under and hand it to him-making
sure that I still acknowledged his presence while still typing onto my computer.
Like a kind of curtsy, along with the mini garbage can; I also handed him a nod, a friendly smile,
and a barely-there whisper that could be read by eyes: “Hello to you sir.”
He returned the nod.
I read his lips and barely-there whisper:
“And hello to you,” he smiled back.

I continued to type and noticed that it was taking a longer than usual time for him to
hand back to me-my mini garbage can, so I slowed down and turned to my right to look at him.

He smiled again and placed his index finger in the air to signal for me to “wait.”
He winked at me as if he had a secret he was a about to tell me.
I smiled.
He then reached into his utility belt wrapped around his body to get a
new clear plastic bag for my mini garbage can, and snapped it open like
a magician performing a magic trick!
I smiled harder (as did my heart).
“Thank you,” I barely whispered-and he read…
“You are quite welcome-thank you,” he barely whispered (and I read).

He insisted on replacing my newly decorated can neatly- and back in place beneath my desk.
Yet this time, like the proud man and gentleman he was, he wanted to return the mini
garbage can in its rightful place as a gesture of appreciation for merely being acknowledged,
respected and appreciated-all without having said or done much of anything but a mere look
in the eye, a barely-there whisper, a nod, and a smile.
He did me one better.
He wiped down the sides of my cubicle with something smelled like heaven.
And me (with all my “as-is” life-living in all its splendor), I somehow felt
“special” …in an “as-was” kinda way.
The smile on my face probably matched the feeling I could tell he probably had never
felt in many years: the acknowledgement of a hard-working old man who would probably
out-work the average young man.
I just had to let him know; somehow, someway, someday-that I noticed if no one else did.
I simply cannot explain to you (in words) how much that meant to me, too-being acknowledged by him-(too).
We both got something out of mere gestures of kindness that did not even require conversation.

You know.

Sometimes we get caught up into our la-di-da lives and whether selfishness is to blame,
or the mere routine of having tunnel vision is to blame; we have to slow down sometimes
and acknowledge the fact that there are people in the world around us who
[if they receive nothing but a mere smile and nod] could make their day.
You never know someone else’s story, what they are feeling or what they have gone
through that put them in or out of a situation that they are in.
Everyone’s (true) story is not always on their sleeve, their forehead, behind their
smile [or in our as-is lives]; on some internet wall.
Simply because we may not identify with some things or some people in the world around us,
does not mean that they or those things will just-go away: poof and be gone.
A mere leg turned to the side to allow someone to reach beneath you to grab a garbage can
without so much as looking up to acknowledge their presence can communicate: “Poof! Be gone!”
Continuing to work and if not acknowledging them by looking them in the eye, but rather,
merely saying: “thank you,” is acknowledgment nonetheless.
So be that as it may… smile at someone today.
You never know, it just might make their day.

(And at the very least, make your desk cleaner than your neighbors) 🙂

The end…

{February 8, 2011}   Spice of Life.

The irony of Aleichem’s quote:

“Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool,
a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor…”
is that, be you wise, a fool, rich or poor; you have not lived life unless
you: dream, are at times- too leisurely, and laugh or experience tragedy at various times within life.

That is what life is: to it, through it and then out it is what it is to experience and be in it.

Somewhere in between dreams, leisure, comedy and tragedy; we find our balance, receive our lesson
and are therefore happy with life and the uncertainty that it brings-despite how uncomfortable we
think we are with the uncertainty in it.

In spite of how righteous, sound, spiritual, or philosophic we are-still, we are only human.
Part of being human is recognizing that we are emotional beings first.
Despite how emotional restrained many of us can appear to be (and give off to others) we are
still emotional beings-we cannot escape that.
Emotion is our innateness naturalness.
Thinking, rationale and logic are not apart of our naturalness-and all come with age and experience.
We have to learn to think.
We have to learn to rationalize.
We have to learn logic.
We don’t have to learn how to feel-we just feel.
That being said, naturally, we are more apt to rethink our (intellectual) beliefs and what
we think quicker than our (emotional) deep-seated feelings, despite the fact we can give off the
impression that we can…

As I was watching an episode of “The Game,” there was a part in it where Tasha Mack was having
a pow-wow with Melanie. Melanie was ranting on about her disdain for a girl in the segment (Jazz).
She had some deep-rooted feelings where Jazz is concerned, because (if you follow the show),
Jazz not only slept with Melanie’s (then boyfriend-now husband: Derwin), a popular football player;
but additionally, Jazz happened to have snagged herself a football player from Derwin’s same football
team-who married her.
As a result of this, it brought Jazz into a club called “The Sunbeams” who consist of the player’s
wives (a kind of “sorority” of some sort).

Melanie and Jazz’s exchange:

Melanie: What the hell do you think you’re doing?
Jazz: I believe it’s called stunt’n
Melanie: No what it’s called is misleading these girls down the wrong path.
Jazz: Excuse me?
Melanie: Yeah, today was suppose to be about uplifting these girls and setting
an example for them but instead you have been running around here thinking it’s okay to sleep with
everyone and shake their ass in music videos.
Jazz: Sleep around, wait, is this about Derwin? Is he still talking about me?
That is so cute.
Melanie: What?! No, this has nothing to do with Derwin. It’s about you convincing
these girls there’s some future in them objectifying themselves.
Jazz: Well, that’s weird because it seems that my future is almost identical to yours.
You married a football player, I married a football player. You’re a Sunbeam. I’m a Sunbeam.
At the end of the day, I’m sitting at the same table as you. Actually no, not true. I’m sitting at the
autograph table unlike you.
Melanie: Excuse me?
Jazz: And you call yourself a role model? You’re nothing but a fake ass, insecure,
wannabe doctor, who enjoys bringing down other women to build yourself up. And I tell you what…my
background may be a little skanky but I’m a skank that keeps it 100. Now if you’ll excuse me,
“Little Skitzo” is waiting.

(Jazz walks away and in steps Tasha Mack):

Melanie: Can you believe her?
Tasha Mack: Mmm hmm. I love it that girl got HEART.
Melanie: Tasha, how could you say that?
Tasha Mack: Oh, come on. Come on Melanie, you know you had that coming-the way
you’ve been treating her. You lucky she didn’t didn’t whoop yo’ ass a long time ago because if she
had asked me, I probably would’ve helped her too.
Melanie: What? How could you defend her, she practically slept her way into the Sunbeams.
Tasha Mack: Okay. Don’t make me remind you of your freaky little tendencies Mrs.
“Trey Wiggs/Hop-in-the-Bed with Malik-Jerome!” You ain’t nobodies Saint, okay? Because at the end of
the day we all got here the same way: either giving up the cooch or pushing somebody up out the cooch.
So you remember that the next time you go judging somebody.

I love this show.
I have a good time watching it.
When I watch television, I don’t watch “channel zero.”
Naturally, just as a part who I am as a person, there are times where I do take my thinking cap off but a
situation on television will make me think.
This was one such episode.

It resonated with me because we all need this Tasha Mack (here in this episode) in our lives.
That voice of reason…
That voice of reason is a God-send, just God-awesome.

That voice of reason is that person in our lives (a friend)- a real friend-not the kind where you have
“weird” energy between one other; hidden resentment, competitiveness or a combative relationship where
every time you say “A” they are already contemplating “B.” Yet, in spite of, you guys are still “friends”
(for whatever reason). That’s not the kind of friend I’m talking about, that voice of reason that we need,
cannot come from energy like that.

That voice of reason can only come from a person who truly loves you-without incident, unconditionally.
The friendship or closeness that you share is pure-total care for you-with your best interest at heart,
even when you are not around. Only that kind of mirror (Tasha to Melanie) being turned to your face can come
from and be respected by you, from somebody who is true-blue. You’re more apt to re-think and listen, because
you know they aren’t being spiteful to you.

They may not always agree with what you think or feel, yet they do not always seek to disagree with what
you think or feel either…And can turn a mirror to you, or provide you with sound reasons why, or why not.

They know you so well, that when your emotions take over, they become that voice or reason: that logical, rational
side that (because of our deep-seated emotions about a thing), they can save us, as well as other people from harm
that we can cause ourselves (in the long run) as well as the damage we can do to others-simply because our emotions
got in the way.

When our deep-seated emotions are in the way, mostly based upon what we feel about a person; we tend to judge them,
condemn them and scrutinize them in ways to suit or ego and comfort our feelings. We even take it a step further by
justifying our feelings based upon what a horrible person that other person is (or was).

Yet, like in this segment Tasha Mack, read her [not the “Riot Act”] but rather: “The Declaration of Independence.”
And in turn, Melanie picked her face up off the floor and was forced to see herself-in the same light that she shined
on Jazz. Though different, it was the “same difference. “

Did you notice how after that voice of reason presented itself to Melanie, the ladies came together and proceeded
to have a wonderful night? Sure, I know this is a television show, but the same thing happens in real-life, only
after sense is made of a thing or a voice of reason steps in.

Do you have a voice of reason in your life?
You know, that real friend (again): not the kind where you have “weird” energy between one other; hidden resentment,
competitiveness or a combative relationship where every time you say “A” they are already contemplating “B.” Yet, in
spite of, you guys are still “friends” for one reason or another.

Only you would know if you have a real friend/voice of reason in your life, because only you know whether or not
your thoughts and feelings are safe with them.

If you do have at least one-you are lucky, because we all have errors in our ways and our train of thought.

We need that voice of reason to re-direct us at those times when our deep-seated emotions are telling our egos
that our thinking is correct and justifiable, when in fact, our emotions are what needs to be put in check-so
that we cannot only free ourselves, but other people as well.

{February 3, 2011}   Love is a Person Place or Thing

When you love you and see yourself in any person,
place or thing outside of yourself;
you only seek and therefore find love in that person,
place or thing.

{February 3, 2011}   Grow and Go

Life is like a field of flowers.
As we grow, we blossom.
We grow with those who grow with, support and love us.
Nourishment leads to reciprocation which leads to oscillation.
We never step on them-no luck can come from that.
No blessings can flourish in that.
Likewise, no luck or blessings can come from stepping on that which does not grow with and nourish us.
Those are simply thorns that we do not touch; we simply walk around or past that.

{February 2, 2011}   Poor Punxsutawney Phil

Poor Punxsutawney Phil 😦

…that poor groundhog looks so startled.

Every February 2, I envision this man with a big tall hat, riding pants, a pot belly, no neck, and a long stick in his hand; busting open this old-fashioned wooden door that looks like it’ll give you splinters if you touch it.

Inside, an inhumane amount of groundhogs are piled up on top of one another, looking into the opened doors’ early morning light-in horror.

There, stands [this “handler” is what they call ’em], yelling out in an English accent: “What say you! What say you! Which one of you lit-tle pret-ties are coming with me today?!”

A good thing about being a writer is that, a writer is in charge of drawing their own conclusions.

When a writer becomes published, he is then referred to as an “author.”

A man who is alive, is too, an author of his own life-should he chose to write it.

That being said, every moment that you live, live as alive as possible: etch your sketch rather than having your sketch being etched and concluded by others.

Because on a real live “Magic Etch A Sketch Screen,” there are two circular control knobs.
They read: “horizontal dial” and “vertical dial.”
Those dials put, control in the hands of others.
Having only directions of horizontal and vertical as controls, affords others the ability to sketch you in a box (where you will be etched).

The good thing about etching your own sketch (being the author of your own life) is that you are in control of your own direction.
That’s the magic in it.

{January 31, 2011}   Love from Top to Bottom.

Love a selfless emotion in which all its euphoria
has everything to do with that which is opposite you.

Love is simply for and about that which we claim to love.
It’s not about “you.”

I read somewhere, a quote that said something to the effect of:
“Love is that burning desire to be desired by the one(s) we love.”
That’s not “love,” that’s back to it being about “you.”

Is selfless in that, to ask someone: “why do you love me?” the
laundry list is usually ways you make them feel, or what things
you do to and for them that makes them feel special and loved
That is not what love is-that again, is about “you,”
not what “I love YOU [the other person] is.”

“I love YOU” is that laundry list of things about
someone else that you love-that list should have
everything to do with them, and nothing about “you.”

What’s love got to do with it?
Everything. When it is filled with selflessness-complete selflessness.
And surrender-complete surrender…

It is still that thing in your eye that gleams-all wheely neely.
But the (true) meaning of love is like taking one for the team.…that is what
(true) love is: You, “taking one for the team.”

{January 29, 2011}   ABOUT THIS BLOG SITE

Just: Angie

Doing Angie

Always…All ways.

et cetera