A Girl in the World & the World in a Girl…

{June 16, 2013}   Father, Dad’s and Men.

Outside of a select few of every other friend…women have NO empathy and understanding for, and towards one another (especially around men, and openly across the Internet and in public/other social settings).

Ladies, stop being so hateful and purposely trying to impress these dudes on the Internet [like the armchair quarterbacking of (some) of your all-of-sudden ballgame interests], by tossing “bitter” women around on Father’s Day–for expressing their displeasure of the deadbeat dad’s in their kid’s lives (or their own dad’s in their own lives).

UNFORTUNATELY, some women DO have that experience and too, ARE on double-duty for life (raising their kids, or having gone through life without a dad in theirs). Have some empathy and try to understand THAT, and the fact that those women may very well get over the neglectful dad, but as a woman of single parent; the hurt of the fact that the father is living, breathing and walking this earth is something they have to work through DAILY-the world outside their door already won’t allow them to wallow in self-pity, so they don’t need your opressing them in an effort to impress these dudes out here that you’re trying to seem “live,” and “cool” for.


Most shameful, are some of you same girls who (on this very same Internet) have broadcasted your OWN personal domestic situations and the fact that your OWN child’s father too-want nothing to do with your child yet, you think you’re being Internet- cute, dissing women (in front of these dudes). Are you serious?

Second ‘shame on you’ award goes out to the woman with NO kids, or having never experienced it-speaking so uncaring and harshly about something you know nothing ABOUT. You will never understand the plight of a single-parent woman and what goes through her heart and mind when she places her hand under the chin of her child’s while trying to hold her own up-never…

I’m going to shorten this PSA by offering this lesson to take with you: http://bit.ly/13RvmZH but ladies, let me close by saying this (because we ALL have experienced this thing one time or another in life, no matter HOW evolved we may now be): The next time YOU or another female close to you is crying, moody, agitated, hurt, pulling pant legs, getting ignored, rejected etc. by that dude she loves and wants that doesn’t want her BACK, (and although this isn’t the sole reason)… take a look at the examples men are getting of a WOMAN’S WORTHINESS and WORTH, based on how YOU devalue other women right in front of their faces…

“The Streets AND Tweets ‘is’ watchin.’ ” …for any man who hasn’t selected his wife yet; all that devaluing gets played on their subconscious. And in the dating game, all a woman needs is one minus in her corner with him and he falls right back on his subconscious and conjures up from that mixture; a thousand reasons why ‘she aint shit,’ and unworthy, not just of him-but of not even being treated well and respected, sometimes [for some women].

P.s- If ever you want to pump your chest and prowess by calling yourself “thinking like a man” think about this: MEN, have too much pride to shit on other men around women, unlike, and in ways [that women have no self-control in doing] around THEM.

Unfortunately, as a man himself, Steve Harvey only has the capacity to give you a man’s reaction to you/a woman, that (as a man himself); he thinks the biggest quest in a woman’s life is bagging a man and getting a ring. Not his fault in thinking that, he’s just telling it like a man would from his SUBCONSCIOUS by way of experiencing and watching all these women out here doing and saying anything they can in a fight for men’s attention, affection, love, or commitment-stepping on other women in the process. Think like a man and stop yourself right in that moment. You’ll make yourself look better (and like a LADY) in the process…

Instead of seeing other women as being in your way, do know that until you make peace with seeing diamonds in other women (no matter how flawed), you will never get out of your OWN way TO BE SEEN by a diamond kind of man. You (yourself) will only keep finding yourself with men who habitually take up with women from out their subconscious…

Keep it cute by being understanding ladies.

Keep it cute. Boys become men who become husbands and fathers, or deadbeat men and dads. Often times, it’s not always ALL their fault…

In the land of [hetero] sexual intimate relations, for a single woman,
whether to (or not to) perform fellatio on a man (“give him head”) is a
dilemma that she is sure to have fought countless voices in her head
about-if she should take the plunge or just sit on it.

For the single woman, especially if she is not wantonly promiscuous and
indiscretion is not her thing, still, she can find her (non promiscuous)
self in some pretty compromising situations (and positions) during her
quest for love and relationship. And for that woman, the
voices in HER head will always yell out these warnings:
• He’s going to think you’re a whore!
• He’s going to tell all his friends (and everybody!)
• He’s not going to call you tomorrow!
• He’s going to be afraid to kiss you after you do it!
• He’s going to always wonder how many other men you did this to!
• A moment on the lips is a lifetime on the list!
• You’ll never live this down girl! Don’t do it!

…low and behold if you swallow him, or give him head without a condom on,
those voices in your head are turned up ten octaves-screaming like a
banshee at you while you are wrapped into the comfort of his (seemingly)
caring arms. Manhood and ego inflated from the feel of your body trembling
from his caress having no idea that a great majority of your feminine tremble
and moans come from fighting with the voices in your head doing everything
you can to justify why taking the plunge won’t be so bad and to assure
Voice Number [whatever] that this one’s here for the long haul-so giving him
head can only make things better for the night, for him and for the forever.
So you quiet the voices by reckoning:
I promise Voice, I promise Voice. This’ll be the last of the 3, or 5 or 10,
dicks I will ever have to suck. I promise you that this man whose arms I am wrapped
in-really loves me. It’ll make things better. Trust me Voice-trust me on this!
Run along now. Run along, already. Skidaddle! Skidickle

After rationalizing and forcing your head reckon with your decision, you crank up
the volume (and intensity). Alas! The bass guitar strings scream with Pat Benatar
belting: “Hit Me With Your Best Shot-Fire Awaaaaaaay” begin to drown out
those annoying voices in your head-and you now bow down to reckon with his head [below].
In the unfortunate event you did not let your love adorn his penis with the proper prophylactics
and the fact that you’ve already gone under; the voices in your head have nothing else to
say to you. This time,
his voices from HIS head‘s head says to him:
• Ooh is she going to swallow?
• Ooh is she going to go the distance?
• Ooh is it going to be that good ’til the point where I don’t even have to, or
forget to fuck her (or fuck her again-some more)?
• If she doesn’t go the distance, what is she going to do with it if she doesn’t
swallow though? That means I’ll have to stop and fuck her.
Damn! (or: “Good!”)

Notice the difference between what goes through a woman’s mind versus what goes through a
man’s head regarding ‘head.’

In full detail, I make mention of these facts in a book I wrote called:
Doing It: Mind-Blowing Sex Tips You Will Never Forget (The Fine Art of Intimate Sex):

With regard to sex, there is something important that we just have to understand
(and reckon with). There is power in the penis (as is there being power in a
woman’s vagina)-spiritual power.

A woman’s vagina is the “spiritual center” of her entire (physical) body.
She is anatomically built to breed life by way of the same opening that a man
is built to penetrate. So whether or not he performs cunniligus on her/give her
head, because of the fact that he can take his “power” [slash] “spiritual center”
and enter hers; creates a spiritual experience for the both of them (no matter how
casual or committed the two of them may or may not be, or no matter how good or bad
the sex is or was).

Because of how we woman [-v-] how men are built to consummate, giving head to a man
is more essential to pleasuring him than it is essential that a woman have head
performed on her. Cunniligus is merely a bonus, and for some women-a conscious
requirement (or pre-requisite)-a demand or suggestion nonetheless, but not “essential.”

In contrast however, giving head to a man is “essential” for a few reasons:
Anatomically speaking, men do not have an opening [that breeds life] as does
women that too, receives and gives pleasure. If I had to give your mind a visual
and design, I would say that his is penis is to our clitoris as his testicles are
to our fallopian tubes. We hold the power of that “extra” opening that he does not have.
Therefore, we give “extra” pleasure (to him) when willing to place our “other”
power of life and death upon his “power” a.k.a: Our mouths.

Regardless how educated, common-sensed, spiritually grounded, or personally resilient
a man is-for them all, it’s a subconscious psychology behind his need and desire for
getting head. His penis is tied to a whole sleuth of emotional, societal, and mental
strings because of his gender’s role expectation in this world that we live in that even
if a man rejects this being imposed upon him he knows he can’t escape [the expectation].

He cannot escape that expectation any more than it is expected that a woman is to procreate
and make the family (for him). Obviously, there are special circumstances such as:
young age/inexperience, and situations like: female/male sterility that forfeit those
expectations however-when a man cannot hunt and gather enough for family, whether we’d
like to admit it or not (and even if he can hunt, gather and provide); it all comes back
to that old saying that all men have, or will say at least once in his lifetime:
All I got is my word and my balls.”

Although it’s mostly said with humor, all men know that when all is said and done, secured or
not secured; his “word and his ‘balls’ ” will survive him when of if all else won’t.
And to his male mind, especially ‘his balls’ (what sits above it) is special, and must be
handled and catered to with a special kind of care and consideration.

(We are going take a second to fly this bird down a few notches-take it P-G so that I
can get you to the point).

The gender role expectations (that we all adhere to) can be observed as early as
3 years old, and even better observable from ages 5 and up. As a former psych student with
personal interest in the study of gender roles, I’ve taken several classes where we observed
male and female children behind three-way mirrors in order to be able to assess and study their
gender role differences from 3 to 6 years of age-to interpret what we saw enough to be able to
write 15-20 page thesis’ about our various observations (by which we would attend these voyeur
sessions for two-weeks to one month at a time)-unbeknownst to the children who were merely
attending the learning/child-care center.

But as it pertains to what I am saying in this piece-as we grow older, our male-female roles evolve
into other ways that, [little do many of us understand] happened naturally and as early as early those
ages I just mentioned.

As women, we are socialized (and conditioned-as the weaker sex) to be somewhat subservient
and when the question begs: “To give or not to give?” we (subconsciously) know that it is an
act of submission to him that often times, those voices in our heads are merely trying to
forewarn us that we may (or may not be) kneeling and submitting to-bestowing upon that man-a
type of submission that nothing past those voices in his head can literally handle
(when the deed is done).

The problem is, although (I feel) submitting to a man and bestowing upon him-that kind of
thing is a “gift” and one such act that is as necessary as kissing his neck and lips; the problem
is that we have to learn to pay attention to those voices in our heads in comparison to the fact
if we are laying (and kneeling) to a king or to a pawn. And what we need to do is make better
choices in men-exercise a little more patience and work on his head up top, before working on his
head (below).

Which brings me to the point of this blog.

Mid-week sometime, there was a story that had come out that not only caught my eye, but also
resonated with me quite a bit-because I write in my Angie Situation book/series
(outside of what is on the website samples); a few stories about that same thing involving
the protagonist in the story which, from book 1-starts off by introducing you to her-and takes
you through her life events and situations that ongoing (page-for-page); allows the reader to
see what becomes of her the choices she had made (as well as those that were out of her control
and realm of understanding) until she begins to evolve into book 2 and definitely by book 3-what
catapulted it, what became of her, what came back to haunt her/end her…

December 2012 is one heaven of a busy month for me-and before I decided to press pause for a few
minutes on my book writing, to blog about this blog that you are reading. In between time, I
needed to sit back and observe how the party involved in this week’s fiasco moved-how she was
moving on that scandal that hit social. If she handled it the typical way that the basic/average
female today would have moved on it, I probably would not have written this blog. Because it is a blog
written to give you some understanding and sensibilities behind what a sexually active girl at
age 17, doesn’t have to capacity to understand is senseless (when she’s too young to understand
the seriousness of it the repercussions involved that too, can put a toll on her heart, her mind,
and her life).

No, this blog is not an “excuse” for her, but it is written to help people (in judgment of a girl
and situation as such)-to help them understand the plight of a young girl having the faculties to
foresight to see what could become of her (and the situation).

Equally as important-because it is so taboo-it is still something all women can
relate to (whether or not their situation played out into the publicly, or whether it simply
remained swept under the rug and hidden deep within the crevices of her mind). Any woman now, who was
sexually active at a young age can most probably relate-regardless the degree or degrade.

This blog was birthed because of the way she moved and handled it. I must say that I was completely
surprised (especially in this day and age, where the slightest shine down on anything-no matter how
shameful or degrading, not many people would ignore the “opportunity” to ride that into fifteen minutes
of bullshit of getting famous for being famous). Instead-she fought it-vehemently (thus far).

Now I mentioned earlier: “what we need to do is make better choices in men-exercise a little
more patience and work on his head up top, before working on his head (below)”
but my question to you is: “What can a 17-year old sexually active girl do with some ‘advice’ like that?”

So don’t judge her (or any other girl caught up in some sex scandal-public or otherwise).
Instead, understand this about female and a male:
Even if it turned out to be in vain and rebelled against, as youngsters, there is a reason why our parents
and other elders spent so much time trying to give us talks about abstaining from sex until we were “ready.”
Unfortunately “ready” is relative-and such that the body always seems to beat the mind to “ready” and when we
act on that, that is where our problems begin (especially females).

Boys (and many men) are not mentally prepared to be able to maturely deal with what is being done to their bodies
any more than girls (and many women, too) have a full understanding that they are sexually submitting to males
(who are actually pawns) in ways that make him feel like a king-when he is not. And when he is not, he pawns her
off in ways that could ruin her publicly, mentally, emotionally and personally.

Having experienced such a thing at a time in my young and “unevolved” life
(before I found “myself” and something constructive to focus on), I can vouch for that being a fact.

If you have been to my website and know a little bit about me, then you already know what my “thing” is,
what my M-O is: Everything that I write or blog about has one or all these things intertwined:
the Erotic, Introspective, Reflective, Self-Efficacious, or the Metaphysical.

So let me reflect.

When I write blogs like this, and when I write biographical fiction and narrative nonfiction books like:
Feel Like A Lady. Deal Like A Man: Tips & Secrets on Everything from Self-Esteem, Friends, Love, Sex, and Men
I don’t put together information gathered from various articles and pre-written research to try to prove
my point and build my book. I feel that if I’m going to reach somebody with a relatable truth then they have a
right to get the truth (from the horse’s mouth).

For a woman, it’s almost next to impossible to be able to articulate herself enough to write a
nonfiction book (or blog such as this one) without having been there, and been over it.

I have to admit that when something happens that forces me to revisit situations like the
inspiration behind why I wrote this blog, I can’t help but feel like kicking myself
and suck my teeth while spewing epithets and expletives because it’s a reminder of not just
how gullible I was. But there is a blessing in it that I cannot allow myself to forget.
Things have happened (and I believe purposely) catapulted me into being the woman that I am
today (with regard to love and relationship): More realistic and practical than dreamy
and unrealistic about what I wish to be true (when not)-something that’s responsible for
a lot of unnecessary hurt and pain that we women put ourselves through in the name of love.

The lessons that I found in the blessing was something that most women never get a chance
have happen in their adult and evolved lives [before easy access and the invention of
Twitters & Facebooks through-to date-until resentfully throwing in the towel]: That/those ones who last
knew the gullible “you,” go through hell and high water over the years to find you…only
to meet the “woman you”-far from that same girl that spent nights crying uncontrollably,
balled up in senseless emotional knots that you never thought you’d muster the strength
to make your way out of.

Did it do anything for my ego? No.
Did it do anything for my self-esteem? Somewhat.
Did it teach me a lot about myself? Yes. More than I ever could’ve imagined.
And it taught me that this wasn’t all because I’m so drop-dead gorgeous and
beautiful, but rather, during my gullibility, I didn’t have it in me to be any
more open to “give” anything other than as discussed in the premise and the title
of this blog. And sometimes people who merely didn’t get a chance to finish knowing
you, or loving you feel like that is what they want to do, regardless whatever they
put you through.

The part that makes you kick yourself and suck your teeth is the reality of being forced
to see yourself in a mirror; sitting there talking to a man who’s doing his best to say
all the right things but [as a woman now] you can’t even see into him enough to feel his
plight because all you keep seeing is yourself in some outer body experience having
conversations with your (then) self and your (now) self, by which none are working to his
plea and benefit-yet-purely experiencing clarity rather than contempt. It’s a high, and a
closure that I never chased but somehow found me-something that I’m sure would have turn
out completely different had I not found “me.”

But by being open to dialogue about anything outside of rekindling what’s no longer
necessary in my world today, over the years of having moved on; it’s helped me be true
to myself, reroute the blame, undo the shame, and meet people where I’m at right now-gone

Although the rollercoaster ride, the twists, the turns, the spins and road to it may
very well have made one hell of a jaw-dropping “loosely based” series, it was not in vain.
And quite frankly; couldn’t have been made possible had I not been forced to re-visit my
(then) “me” who still, I had zero understanding of until my (now) “me”—and that I am pretty
sure is not that different than many young girls to grown women who too, can relate-no matter
how private and swept under a rug (or public) your version was played out.


{September 26, 2012}   Rules for Life After 35

Earlier today, I saw a post from @OwnTv that read: “Rules for Life After 35” and the first thing I said (aloud) was: “Just LIVE dammit!”

But then as my day continued, as much as I tried to deny that I would even HAVE a “list”
of rules for myself, for living after age 35; I actually found out something about myself: I DO!

I’ll share:


1). Don’t look at the stairs as a nightmare literally (or metaphorically).

2). Whatever hair and makeup a woman does for herself to make herself feel beautiful
is fine (and her business). Consider the fact that any time a woman stepped out of the
house, she did the best that she could do for herself-for that moment, and in that time.
Do not ridicule other women-that’s an under 35 thing.

3). Let go of the: “Letters to my ___________ year-old self.”
As “deep” and poignant as we fancy them to be, whatever:
• Did happen
• Didn’t happen
• You wish had happened
• Wish never happened
…did contribute to the woman you are today. (And now). Be okay with that.
Your ___ year-old self cannot answer your adult-self back.
Besides, in some: form, shape, fashion, (or letter) somebody during your ___ year-old self’s
life and time someone did try and give you that same lesson. Remember? It’s just that back
then at that age, we did not have to capacity to listen and apply it-that comes with time, age and
experience.  Experience is a part of our growth. It is okay (and necessary) to reflect on it,
but writing a letter to it is not that deep or useful (now).

4). Gossip, female-to-female harassment, posse’ing up with the homies, and mean-spiritedness amongst,
and between other grown women is for young girls (and is bottom-barrel/extremely pathetic).
REAL divas (who by age 35-especially) should be in practice for carrying themselves with a
little bit more pride and class than that. You don’t have to make it a “sisterhood” but you don’t
have make it “hood” either.

5). Obsessive competing, jealousy, and envying other women is a pitiful, a terrible waste of your
self and time. It is a felonious case of voluntary spiritual suicide!

6). A six-pack, a no-pack/with nice obliques, or just a flat tummy; full-bared stomach days are over!
(as an outfit). It’s the equivalent of a sixty-year old man going through a midlife crisis-opting for
a sports car over a Cadillac. Sure, we love our small waists and flat stomachs, but 5-7 inches of
exposed bare tummy skin is desperate after 35. ½ or ¾ inch of tummy or less is still just as sexy.
Outside of that, wear whatever looks good on YOUR body and makes you feel

7). Tipping 20-30% is a necessity when dining out.

8). Decision over indecision.

9). Being diplomatic is a great (and necessary) quality. But honesty rules–and will forever be
respected (even if you’re hated for it). Be diplomatic to save time, headache, and
[for some business reasons] but never just to save face. That’s misleading and later
harmful to people.

10). Thoughtfulness will never age or be out of style.

11). A nude/clear/French/one-color manicure and pedicure is classy and “cute” too.
(Crud, 3-D designs, glitter, sparkles, multi-color, and Christmas-tree nails etc. are for young girls).

12). Plain, regular old hard, thick Vaseline (petroleum jelly) is your breasts, under-eye,
and face’s best friend (when applied at a specific time of day).

13). Don’t let the weekly hair-do appointment be priority over your health and refusal
to sweat it out sometimes.

14). Keeping up with the Joneses is the priority and concerns of teens and young adults.
By age 35, you definitely should have your own identity!

15). Thirty-five and older, and/or married, and/or kids is no excuse for
COMPLETELY letting yourself go! You, your husband, and/or your kids still need you around
(and in as good health as possible) right?

16). It’s okay to see that old friend/old boyfriend out and have conversation, share a hug,
and sincere sentiments and such. But skip the routine and formality of exchanging numbers
(when you know in your heart you probably won’t call or have anything to talk about past
whatever you talked about when bumping into one another-anyways!). Well-wishes and
“good seeing you” is okay to display, say, then go on your separate way. Don’t waste your
time (or theirs).

17). Valid or invalid, fair or unfair, there is always a good and especially “memorable”
reason why old friends or old boyfriends from your past are not in your now, or your future.
If that wasn’t the case, they would indeed be in your “now”-not in “passing,” or
“bumping into you” (online, the grocery store, or shopping mall).

18). Get out of the mindset and pressure of thinking that being matriculated into
needing/having a 401k is the only savings, investment strategy, and retirement option.

19). Your life is not over at 35 [and up]. A dream, hobby, education,
bucket list etc. has no expiration date (especially if you are more interested in personal
fulfillment rather than trying to keep up with the Joneses or other worldly “pressures.”)

20). Get it through your head and define for yourself what: Success,
Fame, and Wealth are. There are wealthy poor people just like there are poor-poor people.
Success is: (large or small) any goal that you planned, executed, and completed whether
it does or does not generate revenue! Self-work is, and always will be your greatest wealth,
asset, and investment! No amount of success, material wealth or worldly fame will ever
be able to pay for any self-work that you did not do on your way to it! The mental, emotional
(and physical) pain of working hard to make ends meet, yet, still can’t-is the equivalent
of having all the material wealth, success, and worldly fame yet, envying and being upset at not
being able to purchase things to better the self that really come free (had you done the work
beforehand). The only thing you can buy or build with material wealth without having done work
on self-are “things” and a “persona” (which to, is a “thing” nonetheless).
There’s “work to do” before you “get there.”

Get/be in practice for getting:

  • Your Mind
  • Your Heart
  • Your Priorities
  • Your Morals
  • Your Boundaries
  • Your Limits
  • Your Integrity
  • Your Soul
  • Your Spirit

…right before the money comes or you will be a danger to yourself and other people
who innocently cross your path!
Are you there yet?
Are you there yet?
Are you there yet?
Are you there yet?
Are you there yet?
Are you there yet?

Keep this thought in mind about worldy success, material wealth and/or fame:
After you are able to pay your bills on time and off (continously),
travel where you wish to (and at whim), eat all that [and where you’ve always/ever
wanted to eat], wear what you’ve always wanted to wear, have the sex that you’ve
always wanted to have etc., what next? What are you going to do with yourself?
Do you have a “self?” (that you love?) Don’t get rich and famous and be a danger
to yourself and other people! PLEASE!

21). As we mature-looks, and love is an important part of life to us all. Be considerate.
Don’t be the type of woman (who in passing, or while having conversation with another woman)
would see smeared lipstick or whipped-cream on the side of her mouth-send her on her way
and not tell her, yet, feel that another woman should have respect for the fact that you
are in a committed relationship and expect that she should have consideration to not
sleep with your man. The point is: Consideration is Consideration! (no matter the extent or extreme).

22). It’s okay to like nice or expensive things. But priorities are an order! If what you
“like” costs more than your rent or mortage payment, it’s okay to like it from afar
(or admire it upon other people who can afford it). If that be the case,
be content with knowing that you can at least point out the designer and the cost
of it (if it means that much to you-to retain that kind of “knowledge”).
Always know this and keep this FACT in mind:
People who can afford a pair of Loubou’s are not as impressed as people
who cannot afford them. Most often times (if you know you truly cannot afford stuff like that)
you are only “impressing” other people who too, cannot afford stuff like that.
So what sense does it make?
Prioritize and stay in your lane up to, and until.
It saves you from being preoccupied with unnecessary bullcrap that does not serve you,
or mean anything for growing you as a person (as does priorities).

23). Grown is always sexy.

24). Don’t allow weak emotions (over real, authentic conversation being had), to be your
first introduction to people and especially-other women. It’s a terrible thing to find
out later that it would have been nice (or beneficial to you) to know someone who you took
it upon yourself to treat badly, before getting to know them-only to find they do not wish to
be bothered with you-for any reason (beneficial to them, or otherwise). By age 35, we need
every solid, and positive relationship and experience that we can cultivate and share
(business or personal). Don’t blow it with weak emotions and silly bullshit that only makes
you look bad!

25). Don’t let the Internet/pixels make you “weird” and rob you of your people-skills.
By 35, we have to have essential people-skills that younger people are given passes and excuses
for not being responsible for not having. We lose our excuse after 35. It makes you look bad and
not worthy of the kind of respect [that by age 35] your presence should actually command.

26). Speaking of the Internet-it is how we communicate and connect today-we almost can’t
get around it. But understand what TRUE communicating and TRUE connecting really is.
I’ll explain it you:
Anyone who truly cares about you, and is truly interested in connecting with you-is front
and center with how they deal with you offline (and especially: Online).
• Sub-compliments
• Sub-“advice” etc.
…e.g-(chronic ways to call out to you-by using your verbiage, certain words you may use etc.)
in a status post (however-kind) is still not real true care in connecting and
communicating with you-personally (no matter how genuine it may seem). So don’t take (or consider)
stuff like that for you too personally. Honor it as coincidence.
Anybody who is truly interested in care or concern for you is front and center to directly
communicate or connect with you.
There is NO “mystery” where there is TRUTH.
There is no caution, circumstance, or situation that overrides any true care or concern for you!
At 35, you are not a child! That is how the youngsters “communicate” and “connect.”
Command your respect, and demand it of others who want you to, or feel you should respect them.
Other than that, mind your business and timeline, and allow them to mind theirs.
Honor and acknowledge niceties as coincidences.
It’s the healthy way.
Because again: There is NO “mystery” where there is TRUTH. And that bullshit will go on for years
if you allow or give audience to it.
Sometimes, for some people-that is the only “life” or connection to “the real world”
or people-they have.
So it can merely be an exercise or merely good for their online reputation or “look.”
So again-(seemingly) “caring” or “good”-don’t take personally what is not given to you “personally.”
If communicating and connecting with you is true-they will approach you personally.


“Mean/cruel/hateful” or “bad”-try and learn not to take it personally either.
If you feel it is-then be bold-approach it (personally).
At 35, giving audience to mean-spirited darts thrown at you confuses other people who share your
timeline with you. In the end, it’s not worth sub-responding (on your timeline). 99% of the
mean-spirited darts people throw at you is all because of them-how they’re feeling about themselves
and/or because of the way you choose to run your own program (not suiting their ego or place beneath
their foot). Consider the fact that 99% of the people who throw darts at you wouldn’t even know
where to begin to explain (to your face) their gripe if you gave them the opportunity or
invite. I assure you-they would only try and act like they have no idea what you are
talking about.
Quite frankly, that’s true, because the wrath and wrangles are only in their heads and hearts-where
they’ve got the 99 problems and choose to see you as 1 (threat and target)-not a damned thing you did
to them personally. That’s their problem-100% and 0% yours.
Live your life. At 35, it becomes a skill to learn to rise above silliness like that on the Internet.

27). Being true to yourself (no matter how painful to you, or someone else), is the
best gift you can give yourself. You sleep well at night and will always wake up on the right side of
the bed no matter what. The truth strenghtens you. Lies and dilusion pacify (and weaken you). Insist
on people (who mean you well) to always tell you the truth! Know YOU (to know who means you well).
Don’t meticulously “select” your truth for comfort’s sake. Select truth that you know in your heart
will strenghten you-that you know (in your heart of hearts) is something you need to hear, see, or know! 
Only you really know what’s true for you. All that seems harsh is not always bad anymore than
all that feels good is necessarily good for you. You have to know you to be able to
decipher the difference

28). Your happiness is in YOUR hands, and by way of YOUR design, decision, plan(s).

29). You do not have to be educated to be able to understand and apply simple logic, sense,
and sensibility.
Those qualities are necessary-and that, by age 35; you should have already possess.
As an adult, do not fall back into “kid mode” by preparing and being ready to point the finger
out that “someone is judging” [you]-and who does not know you personally, and therefore-does not
know your personal situation or circumstance!

If you see a man juggling a red apple, a yellow-banana, and a white orange; chances are, that
white orange will grab your attention.
It was something about that white orange that made you think, contemplate or consider.
The same is true with other people’s (mere) opinions or conversations or whatnot.
You cannot and will not be affected (or stop, consider, or contemplate) what does NOT apply to
you and therefore, did not grab your attention to make you react (negatively or otherwise).
Pay attention to your own emotions.
If any particular thing not aimed at you and you know for a fact-that person has no knowledge
of your personal thoughts, feelings, or experiences
-if they say something that strikes a chord
in you; that is your sign that there is some unresolved issue or thing that needs to be dealt with,
worked on, or let go of.
Don’t shoot the juggler, or the messenger-thank them! You know that you know the difference from
somebody trying to purposely hurt you (or not).
Don’t not own up to what is calling out to you by carrying a big knife around for other
people in the world around you have may have ironic opinions and conversations!
Sometimes your own “friends” and people who DO know you, your circumstance and situation-won’t
help or tell you!
Some irony, people, opinions, and coincedences are the only guardian angels you will get in your
life around you.

30). You can never have enough “friends” that you can afford to lose one (real) friend.


{February 14, 2012}   Fortunate.

I love this song so much because it reminds me or three words that,
although have much ‘ado about sex and lust, where this song is
concerned-it has nothing to do with sex or lust:

“Adoration” and “Passion.”

It reminds me of the kind of love that a man feels for a woman
with his hands behind his back.
His only Valentine gift being a construction paper cut-out shape
of a heart; cut to precision-looking as though although it was handcrafted,
he took his time to cut it with what he felt about her-around the entire
circumference of the heart: carefully.

As he hands it to her, he does so with the kind of smile where he bites his bottom lip,
a dip in his brow-and tells her with his eyes: “It’s gonna get greater-later.”

And when the greater arrives-later, he still bites his bottom lip, with that same dip
in his brow; telling her that same thing with his eyes: in the good times, as well as the bad times.

He never lost that feeling about her-ever.

That is how and when a man truly feels fortunate to have his woman-all the time.

In my opinion. From in my heart.


{June 14, 2011}   She.

Worry is paralyzing, but still-she walks tall.
Smile on her face with tears about to fall.
She’s seen it all.
Never crawled.
Turns invisible.
Walks through walls.
Like nothing at all.
Stands tall-in ways that others fold and fall.
She: Not-at-all.


{March 13, 2011}   Reality Gone Real.

That middle pic of Shaunie is CLASSIC. I love it! LoLoLoL. Scroll up. Look at it real quick & you will bust out laughing

Let’s all face it: “cliques” (especially girl cliques) are messy-no matter how:
neat, nice or how good they begin.

From the outside looking in, especially for us girls who could care less about
“cliquing up” etc., we love to judge them and point the finger at them.

But when it comes to pointing fingers and judging how someone else works, lives,
plays or socializes; the truth is-it’s not for us to “judge” but rather: accept.

People misunderstand “accepting” a thing for “agreeing” with a thing.

To accept a thing is to merely acknowledge that you recognize that there are other
things outside of what you do-that other’s do-regardless whether you agree or not.

Accept that just because someone does not socialize, play, work, or “clique up”
like we do; it does not make what they do (or how they do what they do) any better
or worse than us (and what or how we do what we do).

I said that as a sidebar mention about what I am about to blog about-so as to
remind those of us who aren’t “cliquish,” or roll with a posse of girls (and to
remind those of us who do-but think our way is any better or whatever) to put our
“silly posse/cliques” judgment guns down-because I am blogging about the issue within
in “the clique”-putting aside whatever I may think or feel about posse’s of girls and
stick to the issue/blog at hand without judgment them: these “BasketBall Wives.”

(I felt I had to preface that, because sometimes before I blog, I will have read so many
comments over the net-and the comments’ bullets go flying every direction, but mostly
straight from “judgment guns” that have each girls’ name on it-rather than what happened
or what the issue was).

So as I blog steering clear of that, I write in hope that my blog reader interprets it
for that-because we all are human and imperfect.

When I saw this heartfelt episode:

...where Tami poured out her heart to the girls regarding them embracing and accepting her
in-I couldn’t help but empathize with what she expressed. I feel it was real, despite the
cameras and the fact that it is a “reality show.”

With regard to Evelyn confessing that she “dated” (and slept with) Tami’s (ex-husband),
(especially after listening to and being in receipt of such a heartfelt moment that Tami expressed);
how could you not feel compelled to lay it all on the table.
That was commendable-on Evelyn's part, because she didn't have to. And in my honest opinion,
their association hadn't "matured" enough for Tami to handle that kind of information (especially on camera).

The reality (of the reality) becomes this [seemingly blunt] but reality check:
Evelyn should have either kept that a secret that she Jennifer shared, or at least revealed it off-camera.

Hold your horses!

But that is the emotional side.
That is the: “woman-to-woman” side.
That is the: “if I truly had any intentions on a friendship between you and me blossoming once
these camera’s are off” side.

But, on the inside of the paint (the business/tv show side), that is where “reality-tv” and
the players in it-have big split-second decisions to make.
That is when something is so serious that it should be dealt with off-camera happens to make
good “tv” for the camera, however, does the most damage for the person/s involved when
the camera stops rolling and the lights go out.

What do you do?

I'll tell (like Shaunie-the executive producer showed you): you keep the camera’s
rolling-that is what you do.

For the love of friendship, yet, the business for television, the reality is that everybody
signed on for it.

And in signing on for it, you enroll (not just the side of you and life that you want to
glamorize or promote), but you also enroll your heart and quite possibly the darker and
unexpected surprises in your life too (depending on who the other players are and what their
relationship or connection is to you).

That is the harsh reality of when “reality” is on the television camera.

That is where “Reality TV” really gets “real.”

The reality of it all (when that camera is rolling and I am sure that
Shaunie-the executive producer of the show itself-would probably agree)-the hardcore fact is:
The main thing, is to keep the main thing: the main thing

…And with that said (and done), let’s drop that bomb by having this Tami-Evelyn pow-wow on
camera...keep it rolling…
And this is what happened as a result:

…(As a sidenote), I have to say that I think that Shaunie was so caught in
the middle of that fiasco in the worse way. And I truly think her empathy (for Tami) was sincere.
I feel that she was straddled the fence on having being closest to the “bad guy” in this
(Evelyn), yet, having been the “victim” and in the same predicament as Tami.
She felt her pain-especially around that 4:20-5:00 moment of the scene. That was a sad,
heartfelt girl to girl moment of care, empathy and understanding.

Also on the flip side of that. After reviewing that same previous video, I won’t waste
time scribing and belaboring the obvious:

• never expect any ball player’s wife (ex or otherwise) to believe that any woman
does not know the ball players marital status especially when you-yourself, were once
(almost married) to one yourself. Any wife (or almost-wife) knows how the “come up” game goes
with these dudes when these girls are on the “come up” on them. Any wife (or almost-wife)
knows that even in college, those type of girls know: the roster, these dudes’ stats and
how to be where they are going to be at even before these dudes step foot on campus soil-and
the same is true for these dudes when they reach the league. Let’s keep it real, Evelyn.

• never expect a human being who just ingratiated themselves to you to react in
any less the manner that Tami did with a lil’ buzz of alcohol, and probably having wished that
confession took place without the cameras on her

• (on or off camera): never tell a woman who you just confessed having slept with her
(then husband), that she was a “non-motherfuckin’ factor” back when you slept with him
(I cant lie-that was funny as hell. I fell out laughing. That line put a whopping on the notorious:
“Who Gone’ Check Me Boo.” But on a serious note, still-you can’t spew that kind of venom in a moment like
that and expect a halo, hymnal music and white wings to appear on the (wife or ex-wife) of the man you
slept with-you just can’t) LoL.

Henceforth, that is when “Reality TV” goes real: having Tami hurt and left with nothing left to
say but: “I can’t trust any of these bitches-that’s really how I feel/The only thing I am sure about,
is these bitches are not my friends and I gotta learn to face the truth about that.”

Well, let me give up the truth about it.

The reality of these types of “cliques,” is that none of them are really true friends (unfortunately).

And as harsh as it may sound, the life of being (as Tami so eloquently put it): “the bitch, the hoe,
the trick, or the jump-off,” of any ball player is a game in and of itself.

It’s a game within a game.

It’s like a culture and within the culture of its own subcultures:
• The wives/ex-wives.
• The fiancés/ex- fiancé’s
• The dancers/cheerleaders.
• The groupies.

In the greater scheme of things, a great majority of these kinds of “friendships”
are no different a game than the actual game/strategy that these husbands and fiancés are
playing (for real) that brought all these women together (for play).

It’s all a “game” nonetheless.

For the men-it’s physical scrimmage (team to team).

For the women; it’s social scrimmage (wives, ex-wives, fiancés, ex- fiancés, dancers,
cheerleaders & groupies).

It’s all still a game-but on two totally different playing fields.

The sad thing about women who step into a man’s “world,” is that while you can step into a man’s
“world” (whatever that “world” may be) with all our womanly mental and emotional faculties;
you still have to understand his “game,” (whatever that “game” may be-whether it’s on
the field or how he socializes).
And then you have to know how to play that game “accordingly.”

When these girls step into these ball-player’s world, and then set up shop socializing with
fellow ball-player’s significant others (ex or otherwise), it’s just like with anything:
The fruition, blossoming and flourishing of any thing is dependent upon the
foundation by which it was built

Any ball players girl that you socialize with, is apart of the same (but different) type of “game.”
And just like it was because of a “game” that brought you all together, you cannot ignore the fact
that chances are there are going to be constant “games” in keeping these kinds of
“friendships” and associations together.

It’s a social scrimmage-survival of the fittest is only guaranteed for those built to champion it.

Unlike women, men can get caught up in the same type of situations (like Tami and Evelyn), but
what’s different about men versus women, is that those two men can (and MOST OFTEN always do)-carry
on and hang out (even though deep down inside, his emotions may feel another way).

Women (MOST OFTEN) cannot.

So, if you are not built for this “game,” (emotionally and mentally-like men are) do not expect
to reap from it: any fruit or blossoming.

If these women are anything smart, they have to associate themselves just like their
husbands and fiancé’s are playing their (real life game): by SEASON.

And if anything blossoms during that “season,” consider it a blessing.

However, do not expect anything more or anything less in order to avoid a bittersweet end.

{February 5, 2011}   Game: Recognizing Game.

For the record, keep in mind, one of the purposes of my blogging (when I blog about things like this type of thing)
is not to judge, but rather- give an opinion that is not mean-spirited and hurtful. It’s enough of that going around.
So, I won’t blog about things like this just to throw my opinion around and be mean; I will only blog about things
like this when I feel there is a lesson in it
(like I did in my blog posting: “The Voice of Reason When We Are Being Unreasonable”).

I have to admit, I am bit androgynous mentally and emotionally.
Figuratively speaking, I’m also a bit four-eyed and wear bifocal lenses at times.
Other times, I see through single-vision lenses.

As I sit here, watching a re-run of “Basketball Wives,” I can’t help but put the conversation that
is in my mind here on paper.

Evelyn and Chad.

As I’ve gotten to know the show, I have gathered about Evelyn-that she could possibly
be a good person off-camera. When I watch reality television, I try to put my judgment aside
when it comes to people’s personality as displayed on these reality shows, because often times,
it is exaggerated (be it by their own doing or “editing,”-that popular excuse).

The arm-chair quarterback in me can’t help but evaluate Evelyn and her literal quarterback: Chad.

I say this from the female part of me that wears a male thinking cap:
I have been in the heads of many, observed and experienced a lot.
The female side of me, after getting to know the show, observed that despite how rough and
tough Evelyn appears; she is the most delicate at heart. One conversation about her divorce
situation can send her talking with tears in her voice. We’ve all seen it. It’s an obvious
soft-spot with her.

As I observe, I can’t help but arm-chair quarterback these words out to the screen as I watch:
“Are you serious? I know that Chad is handsome, great body, charming, rich and popular, but if
you are smart, when it comes to Chad, I would reach in my heart and pull out that one emotion
that all of us women have when we are not immediately interested in someone that we are dating.
You know that one-our voices are relaxed, we don’t giggle as much or blush. We just kick back.
No, we don’t cross ‘em out, yet, we are not giddy and bubbly-eyed either. However, we might like
‘em enough to date them again-that kind of emotion. That’s how you’d better play this game with
Chad if you are to protect your delicate heart.”

I looked at it like this.
Wasn’t it just last season that Evelyn, Jennifer, Royce and Suzie attended a party at a house
in Miami that was allegedly given by Chad?
At that very same party, didn’t Evelyn, Jennifer, Royce and Suzie rag on the party?
If my memory serves me correct, (via Twitter) didn’t Chad post something cryptic regarding that
whole situation-expressing how pissed he was that they would put him on blast like that?

No, that’s not to say that between that time and now (this season) he couldn’t have honestly
checked up on Evelyn and took liking to her (I mean, she is an attractive girl).
But it’s called: strategy. Good for his popularity. Good for the popularity of the show.
Fair exchange is no robbery. Furthermore, I’m sure he studied her enough to know that she was
the perfect wide-receiver…

But understand where part of my thinking in this stems from-are you ready?

Chad is fun, jovial and seems like an all-around good-guy in addition to his (aforementioned)
attributes. But even if you aren’t a football fan, if you don’t know anything else about Chad;
you do know that he loves attention. And regardless the on or off season in football-he is going
to keep his name out there and significant, by all means necessary…

There’s nothing wrong with that (per se’), but my observation also stems from the fact that
he is a Capricorn.

“WHAT!” I know you yell. Hmm. But read on.

Can’t blame Evelyn for not knowing this part, or anyone else that doesn’t know “The Capricorn Way”
for that matter; but one thing about a Capricorn (man or woman), is that they are atop the pyramid
when it comes down to seizing an opportunity. Above any sign of the zodiac, they are major opportunists.

Don’t take that the wrong way.
Many people jump on the defense when referring to anyone as an “opportunist.”
Truth be told, everybody has a little bit of an opportunist in them, but regardless how great or
small the trait is; you can never outdo a Capricorn man or woman in seizing an opportunity where
these three things are at stake:

-Social status

Listen to me carefully, and in all seriousness…

If you ever think that you will outdo a Capricorn in seizing an opportunity where those three
things are concerned; you had better think again.

As well, if you think that a Capricorn would allow you to ruin or seize those three things from
them; you’d better think again-again.

That is their astrological house and they sit on the throne of it.

If you ever seized an opportunity over a Capricorn’s persistent sure-footedness, be rested and
assured that if it didn’t have anything to do with money, reputation and social-status; it didn’t
matter to them, so they most likely turned away from it and made you think that you won.

I’m sure that anyone reading this blog could vouch for the fact that a “Chad Johnson” (Capricorn):
ball player, handsome and rich, is right up Evelyn’s alley.
But as a woman, I think it’s sad when we allow our materialistic selves rule us and our heart and
heads cloud our thinking.
Yet, when things don’t go our way, we immediately point the finger at the guy and make him the bad
guy, when, in this case-the cards are all on the table:

She got popular show right now.
(Chad loves his popularity).
She’s been with a ball player before.
(Chad is a ball player).

As a woman on top of her game (not even knowing “The Capricorn Way”), she knows enough about his
“Mr. Popularity” personality enough, that not only should she not be so giddy and impressed by a pair
of LV studded boots, life-sized roses and flowers, a trip to Cincinnati, and fun in Spain
(as posted all across the internet of the two of them).

That’s not to say that she should not have be grateful, but let her tell it-with the high life that
she has lived; all of that shouldn’t have come as much as a surprise to her.

Furthermore, the cost of all that he’s done so far, is a drop in a bucket on his salary and is in no way,
commensurate with the increase in his popularity, and income from all this during this off-season.
It increases his worth-regardless if whatever team he plays on-he will always be good for publicity-that
even puts him on top of the game of the game and all other football players.
He knows what he’s doing.
She is good prey.
He knows when he’s doing.
He “got game” countless times over the game of football.
She: ‘aint got no game.
And when you’ve got that much mouth and sass-you had better have game, in order to recognize game,
if you have no substance to back you up…

Despite the fact that she “claims” that she’s okay with them being just “friends” and she likes
being single, that’s only because he hasn’t given her the okay to be claimed by him.
Because according to how she presents herself on that show-if she could-she would.

Reality shows are cool for people who just don’t mind being out there, but in having “game,” a woman
who is divorced from a ball player and hangs in ball-player wives circles, parties all the time etc.;
she couldn’t meet a pro-player (right now-since this show) that would take her adoration for him-being
anything more than something she would have for the next ball player that would have her.

It’s just all out there.

Don’t get me wrong, there is some ball player out there that would put all that aside and let her have
her way-live that life again that she wants. But I seriously doubt it would be Chad-he is politicking
and polishing his popularity, status, reputation and income.

He’s done his homework on her-right at the push of his remote control.
She just hasn’t done hers on him (and there is enough to know even if you don’t know “The Capricorn Way.”
That is…if you “got game”).
Doing homework and “having game…” if you noticed in that Skype date, he already established his dominance
in the situation (having studied her firecracker personality).
That fly at the mouth talk was not going to fly with him. He put the smack down on that early.
She had no choice but to call it “cute”/”blow for blow” (or whatever she referred to it as).
Because he’s already done his homework; he knows what she would like to have from him and with him-so he
knows that he is free to set the tone of the “relafriendship” (is what we’ll call it). But more importantly,
he already knows the game; she’s just running with the ball.

MORE FROM THIS WRITER: http://www.angelasherice.com

In spite of how righteous, sound, spiritual, or philosophic we are-still, we are only human.
Part of being human is recognizing that we are emotional beings first.
Despite how emotional restrained many of us can appear to be (and give off to others) we are
still emotional beings-we cannot escape that.
Emotion is our innateness naturalness.
Thinking, rationale and logic are not apart of our naturalness-and all come with age and experience.
We have to learn to think.
We have to learn to rationalize.
We have to learn logic.
We don’t have to learn how to feel-we just feel.
That being said, naturally, we are more apt to rethink our (intellectual) beliefs and what
we think quicker than our (emotional) deep-seated feelings, despite the fact we can give off the
impression that we can…

As I was watching an episode of “The Game,” there was a part in it where Tasha Mack was having
a pow-wow with Melanie. Melanie was ranting on about her disdain for a girl in the segment (Jazz).
She had some deep-rooted feelings where Jazz is concerned, because (if you follow the show),
Jazz not only slept with Melanie’s (then boyfriend-now husband: Derwin), a popular football player;
but additionally, Jazz happened to have snagged herself a football player from Derwin’s same football
team-who married her.
As a result of this, it brought Jazz into a club called “The Sunbeams” who consist of the player’s
wives (a kind of “sorority” of some sort).

Melanie and Jazz’s exchange:

Melanie: What the hell do you think you’re doing?
Jazz: I believe it’s called stunt’n
Melanie: No what it’s called is misleading these girls down the wrong path.
Jazz: Excuse me?
Melanie: Yeah, today was suppose to be about uplifting these girls and setting
an example for them but instead you have been running around here thinking it’s okay to sleep with
everyone and shake their ass in music videos.
Jazz: Sleep around, wait, is this about Derwin? Is he still talking about me?
That is so cute.
Melanie: What?! No, this has nothing to do with Derwin. It’s about you convincing
these girls there’s some future in them objectifying themselves.
Jazz: Well, that’s weird because it seems that my future is almost identical to yours.
You married a football player, I married a football player. You’re a Sunbeam. I’m a Sunbeam.
At the end of the day, I’m sitting at the same table as you. Actually no, not true. I’m sitting at the
autograph table unlike you.
Melanie: Excuse me?
Jazz: And you call yourself a role model? You’re nothing but a fake ass, insecure,
wannabe doctor, who enjoys bringing down other women to build yourself up. And I tell you what…my
background may be a little skanky but I’m a skank that keeps it 100. Now if you’ll excuse me,
“Little Skitzo” is waiting.

(Jazz walks away and in steps Tasha Mack):

Melanie: Can you believe her?
Tasha Mack: Mmm hmm. I love it that girl got HEART.
Melanie: Tasha, how could you say that?
Tasha Mack: Oh, come on. Come on Melanie, you know you had that coming-the way
you’ve been treating her. You lucky she didn’t didn’t whoop yo’ ass a long time ago because if she
had asked me, I probably would’ve helped her too.
Melanie: What? How could you defend her, she practically slept her way into the Sunbeams.
Tasha Mack: Okay. Don’t make me remind you of your freaky little tendencies Mrs.
“Trey Wiggs/Hop-in-the-Bed with Malik-Jerome!” You ain’t nobodies Saint, okay? Because at the end of
the day we all got here the same way: either giving up the cooch or pushing somebody up out the cooch.
So you remember that the next time you go judging somebody.

I love this show.
I have a good time watching it.
When I watch television, I don’t watch “channel zero.”
Naturally, just as a part who I am as a person, there are times where I do take my thinking cap off but a
situation on television will make me think.
This was one such episode.

It resonated with me because we all need this Tasha Mack (here in this episode) in our lives.
That voice of reason…
That voice of reason is a God-send, just God-awesome.

That voice of reason is that person in our lives (a friend)- a real friend-not the kind where you have
“weird” energy between one other; hidden resentment, competitiveness or a combative relationship where
every time you say “A” they are already contemplating “B.” Yet, in spite of, you guys are still “friends”
(for whatever reason). That’s not the kind of friend I’m talking about, that voice of reason that we need,
cannot come from energy like that.

That voice of reason can only come from a person who truly loves you-without incident, unconditionally.
The friendship or closeness that you share is pure-total care for you-with your best interest at heart,
even when you are not around. Only that kind of mirror (Tasha to Melanie) being turned to your face can come
from and be respected by you, from somebody who is true-blue. You’re more apt to re-think and listen, because
you know they aren’t being spiteful to you.

They may not always agree with what you think or feel, yet they do not always seek to disagree with what
you think or feel either…And can turn a mirror to you, or provide you with sound reasons why, or why not.

They know you so well, that when your emotions take over, they become that voice or reason: that logical, rational
side that (because of our deep-seated emotions about a thing), they can save us, as well as other people from harm
that we can cause ourselves (in the long run) as well as the damage we can do to others-simply because our emotions
got in the way.

When our deep-seated emotions are in the way, mostly based upon what we feel about a person; we tend to judge them,
condemn them and scrutinize them in ways to suit or ego and comfort our feelings. We even take it a step further by
justifying our feelings based upon what a horrible person that other person is (or was).

Yet, like in this segment Tasha Mack, read her [not the “Riot Act”] but rather: “The Declaration of Independence.”
And in turn, Melanie picked her face up off the floor and was forced to see herself-in the same light that she shined
on Jazz. Though different, it was the “same difference. “

Did you notice how after that voice of reason presented itself to Melanie, the ladies came together and proceeded
to have a wonderful night? Sure, I know this is a television show, but the same thing happens in real-life, only
after sense is made of a thing or a voice of reason steps in.

Do you have a voice of reason in your life?
You know, that real friend (again): not the kind where you have “weird” energy between one other; hidden resentment,
competitiveness or a combative relationship where every time you say “A” they are already contemplating “B.” Yet, in
spite of, you guys are still “friends” for one reason or another.

Only you would know if you have a real friend/voice of reason in your life, because only you know whether or not
your thoughts and feelings are safe with them.

If you do have at least one-you are lucky, because we all have errors in our ways and our train of thought.

We need that voice of reason to re-direct us at those times when our deep-seated emotions are telling our egos
that our thinking is correct and justifiable, when in fact, our emotions are what needs to be put in check-so
that we cannot only free ourselves, but other people as well.

{January 30, 2011}   I Can’t Stay Long

I don’t get out much but I came out to play
With you since we’ve anticipated this day
It’s clear that you know I have someone at home
Which is the reason why I cant stay long

I’m here because I wanna be, and you wanted me too
And for you to show and prove what you told me you could do
How selfish of me, this lusty desire
Now is just as good a time as any, besides, my heart is on fire

I felt somewhat bad when I just left from home
Kissing my baby and rushing out, dressed in just a trench coat and thong
Hell I’m here, forgetting about it, even though I knew it was wrong
But I’m gonna tell you once again, I can’t stay long

Pardon me if it seems I’m in a rush, believe it or not my mind is at ease
I’ll show you by caressing you and telling you to do what you please
Hold on for a second, this just doesn’t feel right
I’m here spending time with you and left my baby alone tonight

Well actually that’s not so, because it’s our home and my presence is always there
He’s probably lighting candles, and preparing my bubble bath to show that he cares
It’s funny, he’s always been like that, doing things for me to ensure I won’t leave
The things he does and says to and for me, you could never believe

Listen to me, sitting here, talking about my baby in the middle of this scandal
Imagining me with someone else is something I know he couldn’t handle
Yet, I’m sitting here allowing you to admire me dressed in nothing but this thong
For the third time I must remind you that I can’t stay long

Thinking about my baby and talking to you is making me see something clear
There really is no good reason why I should be here
He gives me good lovin’ and everything from A-Z
No one has ever loved me the way that he loves me

Hmm. Chante thinks she’s got a man? Well I got the rock to prove it
A date he’s dying for me to make and rushing me to move it
He’s not sitting at home, twiddling his thumbs thinking I’m out on a prowl
He’s writing a list of things to do for me; what, when, where, and how

But even if he had nothing, but his good love you see
I’d still be with him because of the way that he loves me

He’s forever thinking of things that he could have done some way better
If I come home and he is not there, he always writes me a letter
We don’t play silly games, trying to keep this thing called “mystery”
For, my heart is in his hands and his is right here with me

We’ve been together for so long and he tells me every day is like the first
Married now or never, he reiterates for better or for worse
But he tries his damnedest to see to it that there is no such a thing
At night when he holds me he’s thinking of what tomorrow will bring

For us, he looks forward to a new day and does all that he could
He actually does all that and more than what you told me you would
Treat me right? We never fight? We talk about everything
Obsessed with cleaning this rock on my finger, that’s more than just a ring

He says he loves to watch it sparkle like the sexiness in my eyes
Wines and dines? Shit he cooks for me and he never tells me lies
Took me home to meet his mama? I’m the only one she knows
He makes love to me from my head to my feet and even massages my toes

In this game of love you see, it’s more than just me
It’s him, the two of us, loving unselfishly
That’s right, me and him; the two of us together
Making it through all the storms and any kind of weather

Well, I already told you that I couldn’t stay long and sorry things didn’t go your way
But hopefully you learned a lot from me and will remember this day
If you ever find someone that you feel for the way you say that you feel for me
Make sure that you treat her like my baby does me, and I’m sure she’ll never leave

One lesson that I hope you learned you see
When loved the way that my baby loves me
It’s so very important to look outside of yourself
While your baby at home thinking for them there is no one else

I’m terribly sorry if this one night with me has made you blue
But my homie/lover/friend loves me more than you
If you could be a fly on the wall you would know that this were true
But the love he gives me, right here and now, is exuding from me to you

You can stay the night here, I don’t mind, the room is already paid for
Looking at the timepiece you see, he bought for me, I must now walk to the door

Wearing what he bought me-this trench coat and panty thong
Our love was built to last and is ever so strong
I’m going home to a love so right-that never goes wrong
I forewarned you when I came: I can’t stay long…


Regarding this poem.
My friend had me read to her-this poem, while she closed her eyes to absorb it. When she opened her eyes, she was tearing up, and she said to me: “but Angela, there are no men in the world like that.”
(Hmmm. To be continued?)…

{January 29, 2011}   ABOUT THIS BLOG SITE

Just: Angie

Doing Angie

Always…All ways.

et cetera