A Girl in the World & the World in a Girl…

{January 2, 2013}   Swinging, Sex, Soul-Ties & Lives

The title of the blog screamed out at me…It was about a threesome that a woman had, that ruined her life.
Man and Two Women in Bed Together
As a person who has quite an opinion about sex and especially subjects like
swinging and threesomes and such, I merely yawned and placed my fingers on the
A-S-D-F and J-K-L keys and began to read the blog-prepared to respond.
But some ways into it, my hands backed off my keys because thisparticular
subject about a threesome had such a strange twist to it that it felt like the
tips of my fingers got burned.

To summarize what it was about, a woman wrote in to the site to ask her for
advice about she and her fiancé making a decision to spice it up in the bedroom
by inviting another woman to join in the festivities.
Well, the woman selected another woman with whom she had a [previous] coworker
relationship with and eventually the three of them “got it poppin.’”

The details of the threesome were that it was awesome, everybody had a great time
and it was pretty much better than expected.

Thumbs up.


The twist was that the invited guest called with news of another unexpected
guest that would be apart of all their lives: she conceived.
With this news, the soon-to-be wife is a bit taken aback because the fiancé has an
“oh well” attitude about it and doesn’t seem to be as upset about it [as she is].
What this trio plans to do about this baby is not what the subject of what this
blog is about so I’ll end the details of all that-right there, so that I can get to the
point of this blog.

I write about situations like this in a book that I am writing, in the last chapter called
The Secret To Him Not Cheating On You & Making it Last Happily Ever After,”
where in it-I go into some pretty explicit and atypical details about what I strongly
feel is the “remedy” for infidelity and keeping the sex in the relationship spicy.
Spicy with a kind of variety that plays on the male mind such that, if practiced enough,
it will make cheating an “awkward” thing because (unlike) in regular “cheating,” the thrill
is that it’s done in private and the wife or fiancé does not know.

threesomeBut with my method, whether the cheating was already done
(or better if spearheaded at the thought of), my suggestion is that the couple “feast”
off the other person with whom the cheating was done with or was about to happen with.
And by “feasting” I blatantly mean, bring her (or him) into the bedroom and share him (or her)
in between the two of you during foreplay or during actual sex. And too, if during your pillow-talk
and closeness, you, (or he) reveal (or discover) that there’s a little sexual spark lit somewhere
deep for the others old flame, feasting on that (too) will put that fire out
(how so, we’ll explain shortly).

This “feasting” exercise is so atypical and mental that it could very well bring out all
kinds of emotions between the two of you that [sexually and emotionally] you probably
didn’t even know was there (or had it in you to be brought out in you in this way).

In this remedy that I invented (and swear by) called RPC: Reverse Psychology Cheating
(how it came about is detailed in the chapter as well) but, it is such that in order
for it to work, the woman has to be strong enough to be able to handle the exercises
that I suggest, and the man has to be willing to share (his mind) with his woman.
And vice versa.
We’ll get back to that shortly.

But back to the subject of this blog.

My thinking about SEX is this:
When we have sex with people, we create “Soul Ties” with them regardless if it
was relationship or even a one-stand stand.

The emotional or mental aspect (or lack thereof) involved in the act of having sex
is not so much the “Soul Tie” as is the fact that–of this entire universe and the
billions of people in it, you and one other person have shared with one another;
apart of yourselves that billions of other people in the universe have not
(with one another).

So a “Soul Tie” has been created at a different level of connecting (our spiritual centers)
than we all are connected (together) in this universe. Our “spiritual centers” are the private
parts of us that responsible for making (penis) and giving life (vagina).

No matter the attachment, we connect with a kiss because the power of life and death too,
is in the tongue.

So no matter the degree of emotion or attachment (or not), “billions” of people are not going
to be able to kiss you or have sex with you, and billions of people are not going to be able
to kiss and have sex with that other person, but some one (or however many) did.
But it certainly will not ever be billions.
That is your soul/spiritual “tie” (connection).

Having said that, when we are in a relationship by which (to both our understandings) we are in
one of monogamy, the fact is: a bond is/has been created. As we consummate, we often times contemplate
various ways that we can keep the intimacy such that our lover will be fulfilled enough so as to not
step out of the relationship (and break the bond).

What happens is, some couples (whether they want to admit it or not) get bored-intimately.
And the intimacy becomes routine, to sometimes dull and done out of habit or duty [so as to “show up”
in the relationship and let that role serve as our “expression” in the understanding and agreeing that
“I too, am apart of this relationship.” ]

Sometimes, when we get bored (and give it a fancy name called “adventurous”), we like to try
kinky and unusual things. But when those things involve inviting another spirit into the bedroom
(with our bond), we’ve given an invite to create a Soul-Tie (unnecessarily).
And that’s when “spirits” awaken.

When a bond is created, although threesomes (and swinging) can be sexually exciting (while in the act),
those ties mixed with that bond create an energy of some kind.

If a man allows another man to have sex with his woman, or the woman allows (or joins in) on another
woman having sex with her man; the two people by which the bond has been created will indeed carry
thoughts in their minds that they may (or may not) discuss with one another (that’s neither here nor
there-as it pertains to what this blog is about, so we’ll leave it at the fact that an “energy” is
created—and we’ll move along)…


Moving right along.

As a woman (in a relationship with a man), we have to understand that men are different species when
it comes to sex. A man’s “same difference” in comparison to women’s “same difference” with regard to sex,
is about as close a “same difference” as the male-female understanding about relationships is: We can come
together, but our coming together is from two different perspectives and understanding
(but we can still come together).

I said that to say this.

Because men are “different,” there are some things that (while in a relationship with a man) your
man should not be exposed to (with you). When it comes to sex, love, intimacy and all things involving sex;
with a man, it’s on a kind of “person-to-person basis,” like their minds seem to work in flashes or like
the flickering of a light going on and off. And each ‘off’ and ‘on’ is representative of a different person,
a different situation, and a different circumstance.

You have to catch that light on-and leave it on: for you.
You have to make sure that all things that go on in the dark (when the light is out) is too,
with you-isolate his thoughts and thinking, and feeling.

Men are funny creatures that vascilate like off and on switches.
A man can be in a relationship with a woman for years and the two of them may
(or may not) have ever talked about swinging or having a threesome-yet, he may have experienced swinging
or having a threesome with the relationship before her. All this time, your relationship is what it was,
but when he asks to be, or you turn him on to that (although he may have experienced before); you are
turning him on (all over again) to something “new” (all over again). And that is when it comes down to
Soul-Ties -v- Bonds…it may change your whole relationship around for the worse, not so good, or the demise
of it altogether. But it’s almost delusional to think “it makes your relationship better.”

The truth of the matter is if bringing another Soul-Tie into your Bond makes your relationship is “better”
that because of [inviting that in] chances are; you really don’t have a “bond” already
(a mental + emotional + physical + communicative connection).

In the nature of cheating:the desire behind cheating is not so much in the cheating as the cheating is
(itself) a secret.
But that doesn’t mean that inviting another spirit in between your two spiritual
centers is a cure for it.

threesome_1347019655_460x460You can’t turn a man on to certain things (and “everything”) in an effort to spice up your love life,
especially when they involve introducing other people, spirits, and physical entities into the mix.

When you wake up something in a man (sexually) it has to keep going.
While trying to stimulate his desires and meet his needs, the thing is, you the WOMAN, you have to
decide if that “thing” is something that’s healthy for the energy of your bond (or relationship),
and you know in your heart of hearts is sure not to backfire or cause tension or a riff later on…

No matter how much a man might love you or care for you, when you turn his light on to certain things
(for hispleasure), he’s not going to stop to consider the negative effects of the possible “later.”

The problem with us women is that after we’ve done every position and cleaned out the entire book of
Kamasutra, stood on our heads, had sex in elevators, sex on the copy machine at work after everyone’s left,
and other unusual places; we are constantly trying to think of ways to satisfy him as if he is some kind of
animal that’s going to run off into the wild if we don’t get it cracking.

389700_3992578942156_1815036763_n Now let’s not get it twisted, wedo have to keep it “poppin,’” but the other fact of the matter is—he is
NOT an animal, he is a man.
Don’t let that picture of Darwin’s Theory of Evolution fool you and play on your head…

We are human but we are not animals.

The difference between animals and human beings is that animals are instinctive (as are humans) but they do
not have intuition, or thrive in a kingdom where their outward sexual behavior is met with shame or scorn when
they see a potential mate, hop up on her (in front of every other animal in the wild) does his business, and flees.

We human beings live in a society (kingdom) where our sexual behaviors are dictated by the shame, scorn of other
intuitive persons like us. So we are guided by either: moral, personal, or religious compasses + our intuition,
conscience (and discretion).

Outside of their choice of species for mating, animals are indiscreet, and indiscriminate.
They do not “master” themselves for anything other than survival. They are sexual creatures (like us),
but they do not have “desires” (like us) so they simply survive…they don’t “think” indiscriminately. Period.

We human beings live in a society (kingdom) where our sexual behaviors are dictated by the shame, scorn of other
intuitive persons like us. So we are guided by either moral, personal, or religious compasses, and our conscience
(and intuition).

Animals do not “master” themselves. They are sexual creature like us, but they do not have desires like us so
they survive. Period.

We (humans) are equipped with the tools to master ourselves (and our desires). And we become “beasts” [slang] we do.

The strongest we will ever be is when we master certain desires with discipline and self control aided by our
consciously being on top of a thing.

When we exercise discipline in eating well, and master that-THE RESULT IS: We lose weight or maintain good “heart” health.

When we exercise, and become disciplined in doing so; THE RESULT IS: We become fit.

So when it comes to those things that feed our desires like sex, money, food etc., when we become masters of what it
is we will (and will not do) to do/have/obtain those things;THE RESULT IS: We become masters of ourselves.

The fact of the matter about monogamy is that it is a decision: A conscious decision requiring constant self-discipline
and self-control (just like the exercise and eating well example I just gave). When we consistently make a conscious
decision to be monogamous-THE RESULT IS: We maintain a healthy, thriving, blossoming relationship.

As a woman, in a relationship and bond (a mental + emotional + physical + communicative connection) with a man,
you have to be very aware that because men are differentthey will indeed have a plethora of desires.
But you have to find a way to CONTAIN and sequester those desires, ownthem-take control of them so that
they may be used a fuel for the desire between the two of you (rather than acted upon outside the relationship).
By your openness and his willingness share those desires with you whether it be in conversation at dinner or pillow talk,
but especially during foreplay and during sex(as explained here); THE RESULT IS:
The secrecy involved in cheating (which fuels the act) suffocates.
Although the secrecy involved in his entertaining the thoughts turned desires get intercepted,
it still allows his desires to run free however, they become contained, shared, and feasted on
between no one but the two of you…

And as this is practiced (exercised) THE RESULT IS it not only brings you closer
(intimately, mentally, emotionally, and physically); anything outside of [what you are in practice “containing”]
feels foreign feels foreign, it’s not as easy to infiltrate-not even in his head and while away from you, because
with enough practice; he’ll be conditioned to bring whatever it was (that met his eyes and entered his head)
home to you-for the two of you to (sexually) “feast” on, without whole other body disrupting your
house, home and flow.

Secrecy + what’s kept in the head is what typically fuels desire, but when you share it, it becomes fuel for the two of you.

And just like somebody who finally gets it right (e.g eating right and exercise) it becomes a “lifestyle” change for them.
A monogamous and sexually fulfilling relationship between two people; if exercised enough can too,
make the relationship “swing” by a pendulum atypical that, AS A RESULT: Becomes a lifestyle.


{December 16, 2012}   Love, Lack & Stacks.

jarofheartsI know love, so yes, I love him back
He loves me for what he’s been missing and lacks (since his stacks)
But it’s like…
He wants to screw his head on (then wear it)
Thinks because his heart beats, it’s “love” (like how I know love to be)
He don’t know it like I know it (and need it for “me”)

I wouldn’t want him to think I played with his heart and stomped on the chance
But “dancing with the devil” would be the name of this dance (if I just wanted
to dance with somebody who thinks that he really loves me)…

You see…
The problem is…
He can’t even keep his heart in a straight line
Every little thing I do [now or then] I say is a crime
So now…how can we really dance in a solid straight line?

His heart goes ‘a flippin’ and a floppin’ (and crying)
Ricochetin’ off into mine and all goes: BUST (then I’m dying)

Little did he know, I had his back (and just like THAT! he’s back to lack)
handsheartI never sold it to him, so if I asked him to let go and give me mine back

safekeepingsThe good thing about it (I guess)
He’ll still be left with his stacks…



{December 10, 2012}   Grown & Sexy (Organically).

Something caught my eye today and if you know me,
if something tugs at me having
anything to do with the human condition or experience,
then I can’t help but speak on it.
So I’ll speak, after you read this passage that I read (today):

The war on men through the degradation of woman. How is man to recognize his full self, his full power
through the eye’s of an incomplete woman? The woman who has been stripped of Goddess recognition and diminished to a
big ass and full breast for physical comfort only. The woman who has been silenced so she may forget her spiritual essence
because her words stir too much thought outside of the pleasure space. The woman who has been diminished to covering all that
rots inside of her with weaves and red bottom shoes
. I am sure the men, who restructured our societies from cultures
that honored woman, had no idea of the outcome. They had no idea that eventually, even men would render themselves empty and
longing for meaning, depth and connection. There is a deep sadness when I witness a man that can’t recognize the emptiness he
feels when he objectifies himself as a bank and truly believes he can buy love with things and status. It is painful to witness
the betrayal when a woman takes him up on that offer. He doesn’t recognize that the creation of a half woman has contributed to
his repressed anger and frustration of feeling he is not enough. He then may love no woman or keep many half women as his prize.
He doesn’t recognize that it’s his submersion in the imbalanced warrior culture, where violence is the means of getting respect
and power, as the reason he can break the face of the woman who bore him four children. When woman is lost, so is man. The truth is,
woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul. Power and control will NEVER out weigh love.
May we all find our way.


“Amen” is what I said, and intended to stop there because
the message spoke volumes. But as I almost
logged off, my heart compelled me to speak to.
And from that beckoning echo, I felt like the message was so
imperative, that I needed to post it here too (on my blog).

You see…after I said “Amen,” I was just going to throw my hand in
the air like I was testifying…then log off with the words:
“Enough said” dancing in my mind-because she said so much in that
one paragraphs (that I highlighted in bold) yet, it’s so much
more…because it’s so much more than [even what SHE said] that
goes along WITH [what she said].

(I hope that came out right).

That passage happened to have been written by Jada Pinkett-Smith.

I could appreciate (and believe) those words coming from her
because I know that her eyes can see [and therefore-speak] on
the way that we love today…(well-the way many of us THINK we are loving)
living, and calling ourselves being “whole,” when in the depths and truths
of it all, many of us are not.
But it’s not entirely all our fault.
We have a good excuse yet, we have no idea that-that excuse is exactly
what excuses us from the table of true love, real self-love, and the ability
to make and cultivate true connecting and have true love.

So when I say:
“yet, it’s so much more…because it’s so much more than [even what SHE said]
that goes along WITH [what she said]…”
…I mean that, when coming from Jada’s era (growing up-teen, young adult, and adult),
the way that ‘socializing’ was, the way that ‘love’ was, the way that ‘life’
just—was…(regardless how rebellious you may have been)…being apart of that era in life
instilled a different kind of respect for, and knowledge of what real love was versus is
(now)-and with a special kind of understanding that real love could never be so, without
truly being a whole person/individual (first). Yet, it’s so masked by the superficiality
of how we think, how are programmed, and how we live today—in ways and styles that if you
did not come from an era (like Jada’s–when it was “organic”); it’s almost no hope.

You can see it. You can feel it. It’s a texture.
Like: “Invisibility”-if invisible was a texture.
It’s like something that you touch and it just dissolves,
versus from an “organic” era-the texture is like: Silk, Corduroy or even Teflon.
(That’s the best way I can give you a visual…to feel what it is I’m saying).

So a woman from Jada’s eyes…looking at the world and raising kids (both sexes)
up in the middle of the EXACT same thing that she is talking about in her post;
being in the center of those two differences (the “organic” versus the now), I can only
IMAGINE…how it does a number on her mind every single day.

Last year sometime, I wrote another blog
(a short story) similar to the plight of this blog-you might wanna take a look at it

You see, I’ve had these types of conversations with females
(and males) who unfortunately do NOT come from those “organic” moments in time of life and love.
And to be truthful, by the end of the conversation; I could only yawn in pity and sadness just to
know that to truly get a feel for the touch of love is something that will have to be “taught”
(especially when as of 2012-if they are under twenty-five). But my considering how we are
programmed today-rather than throwing in the towel altogether on there being any hope of
them ever being able to experience what that organic life and love is like, at the end of
conversation, the only advice I could offer was to tell them to just—make it their business
to make a friend who too, understands and are much apart of, and migrating in the culture
and subculture today; but who-as well, comes from an organic moment in time. Where love is
concerned, they can slow you down some: sensitize you where you are much too desensitized.
Reprogram your mind, and teach you something-first-about yourself, and then life…so that you
can then understand what true love really is all about–how to give it and how to receive it.
Get close to somebody who, not so much that gets you to thinking, but somebody who can get you
to “feeling”…how to “feel” with your mind, and your heart (before your body). Because if you’re
only working off of what we have to work with today, you’re going to miss what it is that’s really
essential to float your boat…

Hopefully, Jada’s post-atop the line (and what I am saying in this blog) can get you to what it is
that I [and I am sure-what she] was trying to say, because it really is more to it.
I am a writer who feels her plight in what she’s saying. And I can tell she wrote a “light” version of
a much deeper conversation. So I piggybacked off that intent for this blog. But keep in mind that I do
go over this subject in a section of a chapter (in unapologetic detail) in my book in Gem #11.
You can read the segue to the chapter by merely clicking this link.

But back to this blog. In keeping it “light,” or straight at it (the way you will read when you buy the book),
the bottom line is-the lesson is essential however it’s delivered to you, because we need love to live like
we need “life” to thrive. But we are not really blossoming like we really should/could be, because love and life
is an entirely different kind of experience when it’s organic and from the root-the DIRT root.
Everything we do now, everything that we are about, and all that matters to us is
right now is within instantly gratifying reach and disposal—it’s superficial at best-all on the surface.
That includes how we connect-which liters into how we are “loving” (or think we are loving).
Hell, we can’t even perform a duty or extend a nicety without going online and telling the world our
good deed for the say. Even our true sense of empathy and caring is questionable.
Our narcissism and in authenticity is at an all-time low, and we have to be conscious of it
(if what we truly want is what’s authentic, organic, and real)…

And so my opinion about Jada and Will (and all these up and down rumors flying around 1279829231-will_smith_and_jada_pinkett
about them getting divorced, yes, no, maybe, etc.)…this is something that I’ve always
thought about them (when the rumors fly): “I know they’ve got to be tired of each
other, and I know they probably have done all there is to do and at this point, are probably
like: ‘look… the kids are no longer babies. Let’s close the curtains on this relationship’.”

But then after reading her post (atop), that’s the heart, mind and the “way” of a woman who
comes from that organic time and moment of true life and love (as does Will), which brings
me back to my point.

When it comes down to life and love, they KNOW better.
And in “knowing” better, they both know what’s up–the differences in the desensitization
of love now, versus the sensitivity of then. They BOTH know what’s up if they split…
The organically grown and sexy know that jumping ship into this “now” is a no-bet
and is definitely no better.

They BOTH know the “matrix” of life and love we are living in right now as compared to
when they were both were coming up. And because they DO know the difference,
their advantage is that they know how to work past superficial (and major) differences,
and are a little more patient with working out the kinks and imperfections than the average
young couple of today’s era don’t have an understanding of.
All the tools people of today have to work with are all the things that keep them away from
experiencing wholeness (and oneness with themselves), and what REAL love is truly all about.

That main thread that I’m willing to bet that’s holding them together is the “knowing”: knowing
that difference between being apart of the “then” and the “now.”
When you have that advantage; you can win in this game of life and love.
But when you DON’T have that advantage, unfortunately, you can be like this invisible,
hollow piece of being that’s running around here thinking you are whole, but in truth and
reality; merely being bombarded, pressured, hoodwinked, bamboozled and run amok by all the
wrong or insubstantial and insignificant things that when all is said, done, and misunderstood;
leave us with no understanding of what truly being whole is-before calling ourselves becoming one.
And so our repeated, thin cycles of invisibility:
And ends.
And begins.
And ends.
And begins.

…And so many of us are walking around wounded-jaded and wearing masks and cover-ups
(like she explained in that passage up top). That’s real. That’s really real.
We just don’t see it.

But open your eyes, your mind, and your heart to this one fact:
When you are REALLY whole, and when you REALLY know love; your eyes see life and “love”
(now-today) in a different way. It’s like going through a tye-died vertigo of an experience,
but without being dizzy. And you can easily spot and point out the people who aren’t and don’t
[know love]—love of self and how to truly connect and give love, live love, and be love] with
others “organically.”

It’s no judgment.
It’s just that they know love, Love. And if you’re desensitized and programmed, the good news is-they can show and tell you, and you can do the same for someone else.


{April 2, 2012}   Epiphany in the Sun.

Had an epiphany while running with the sun today. The wind reminded me that when you come to terms with the fact that:

-Consequence is not a coincedence.

-Karma’s function is to punish & teach as well as surprise & give.

-Everything is relative (including death and taxes).

-Nothing’s for certain (except death and taxes).

-Everything we complain about being done to us-in some form or another, we’ve done to someone else too.

-A life lived is by choice & design or default.

…you are free of more than you think, and know all that you need to know and can control.

Life then begins.

Again and again and again.

So live, and enjoy it!

{September 11, 2011}   Emergency 9.11

If you know or keep up with me, you know that formalities and gestures
(no matter how serious the matter or its intention); annoy me and crawl under
my skin more than anything in this world.
Because they are most often self-serving and are “THE” day at a “THE” time rather
than one CONSISTENT or GRADUAL day at “A” time.

Life goes on for the gesturer after the gesture.
Their [good deed and feeling] of saying: “I attempted,” “I suggested,”
and “I offered” almost always ends right there.

My thinking regarding formalities and gestures is as such:

Don’t serve me dinner or hand me a turkey at Thanksgiving and December
25th, when on February 5th I may need that same dinner and turkey. You will be no
where to be found. So hand me that turkey or serve me that dinner on Thanksgiving
or December 25th-on February 5th as well, or teach and show me to ways that I could
buy my and serve own.

We are all guilty of formalities and gestures on a public or personal scale
to varying degrees-with those we know personally, and as well, those we do not know personally.

It’s like that trite thing we do when we see someone from our past.
We take their phone number at the end of the conversation, knowing that we most
probably will not (or do not have much of a reason to call). But the formality
and gesture of the offer or exchange somehow smooths things along for us (or them).

For years, I have been so guilty of the doing the same thing. Until I recently
got comfortable with saying (and meaning): “Well, it was good seeing you and I
hope all is and continues to go well with you.”
(If I know in my heart
there is probably no need for me to offer or exchange contacts as a formality or gesture).

I do not like feeling that kind of “guilty.” So I gave up on that narcotic.

I refuse to spew my political rants on social forums unless I know
that I am on route to Capital Hill to stand next to people who are actively-on the daily-fight
to do something about all that I am ranting on Twitter about. That (to me) is counter-productive
and ignorant. Because it serves no one-not even the ranter.

That being said, if I cannot show you, teach you, serve you dinner and give you a turkey on
February 5th, I would rather decline to stroke my dutiful ego on Thanksgiving or Christmas
for the sake of saying: I did my part in something “ennobling” for that (literal) day.

If I cannot look you in the eye or you cannot look me in the eye and say: “I am offering/exchanging my contact with you because I really need to talk with you,” then I won’t suggest, exchange or offer.

As I mature and keep it real with this person that I have to lie down at night and wake
up in the morning to look at; formalities and gestures are no longer my style of clothing
for the day. Because people are serious about:
-their life
-their heart/love
…(and all the subcategories that fall up under all three). Regardless the face and
fronts that they put on for the world.

Stop and take a look at the words and rhetoric around you.

For many, the way we socialize today only adds to the insecurities we already have.

Observe the words in your face everyday like: “unfriend,” “random,” “de-friend,” “unfollow,” “follow,” “verified,” “block,” “unblock,” “deny,” “accept,” etc.

Those are words to set the mind up to tell the heart of a person that they are somehow:
validated, inferior, liked, disliked, superior, subservient, domineering, rejected, favorite,
un-favorite, accepted, included, apart of, apart from, isolated or separated.

As I point to my temple, I say to you:
That is all a mind game-baby-built for the strongest (who not only can survive it);
but who knows the game. And how to deal it, play it, deal with it, wheel it, will it, and win it…

EVERYBODY’s got on their persona and pixilated suit in this life and social game of three-card
molly, no matter how “natural” or effortless it looks. EVERYBODY’s “The Wiz” in this thing-just
to varying high and low degrees.

No matter who, just pay attention to the insecure or grandiose, inferior, competitive,
combative, justified and unsure rhetoric of the people around you. Each and every person…
everybody (the from the movers and the shakers down to and through the stealers
and the takers) are pixilated behind some form of insecurity that they are fighting
tooth, QWERTY keypad and nail, not to fall into obscurity on.

With that being said, when you can, where you can: DO.
Do keep it real.

Let me give you a side bar note about something in relation to the moral and my reason for this blog.

Have you ever watched Joy Behar interview a person? (She’s the lady comedian who one of the host on
“The View” and she has a late evening show on HLN as well, where she interviews celebrities, politicians, etc).
To a lot of people, she’s annoying as all get out (from what I’ve seen, read and heard).
She “seems” negative, piercing, nosey, antagonizing and downright offensive and invasive
(to some people that I’ve seen her interview). But do you know what the “problem” is with her?
She makes people “accountable” for what other interviewers often times leave open-ended or unanswered.

Often times, these celebrities and politicians get on shows and say profound or delightful things
(that would actually be interesting to hear how they arrived at such a conclusion or premise).
But on her shows, she will ask: “so how so?” or “why?” or “when?” or “what made you say that?”

When they’re being truthful about their delight or profoundness; they can flow right
into answering the question. When they’re untruthful or were savvy in saying something to merely
fill a line in an interview; they get choked up. That has happened (with Joy’s interviews)
more often than not.

I’m always curious about human behavior, so like for a year or so, I was almost obsessed
with watching her interviews (plus she’s funny).

But people (like Joy) who ask questions, require more to conclude or believe [in] a thing etc., Or people who provoke thought or contemplation (like what I’m doing in this blog), look like rebel-rousers and negative troublemakers who are problematic and chaotic.

But that’s not always so. People like that are the minority (in today’s world) so
[to mostly the insincere and superficial people] they upset the “status” quo.
(Or to those people who are playing the Laws of Power mind-game and use it to the
letter and like a bible to make it through this social life we’re living). With any
book-you have to know how to take what you need from it and apply it per-situation/per-person
(sometimes) in order to not lose your “humanness” in all this “stuff” in the world.

The point that I am making however, is that-day by day, we are becoming such
a nation of superficial exhibitionists. And these forums that we socialize on, enable
us to have the platform to be so-where we otherwise would have none. So with that
“opportunity,” we are becoming top-notch exhibition opportunists (now more than ever).
All of us: me, you, the person next to you and so forth. We’ve all been guilty at some point.

We are very concerned now, more than ever, with what other people think of us and
how they “view” us. So much so, that we are overly concerned with what we say
than we are with what we dobehind, and after we say it.

We offer sentiments of empathy that mean nothing five minutes after we publicly declare it.
We quote quotes that we do not live by-suggesting to our audience how they should live
in order to be considered “humane,” or “right” in their daily lives.

When if [like the quote that gets me the most: “Be the change you wish to be in the
”] we really did be the change we wished to see in the world; do you really
realize how much better a place this world we be if we really followed with action;
the sincerity we put on display-what it is we quote and say for either: attention, sportsmanship,
tradition or notoriety?
Think about it.

That is why I almost never quote quotes. I just say what I feel-even if it sounds like a quote.
I try and move away from that because I’m guilty of the same inaction as well-like you are too.
We all are.

Yet, there are people (on foot) out there helping, fighting and defending rights of things that
we are too busy quoting and publicly proclaiming-to pretty up our walls. They are out there climbing walls.
And they are not soldiers-they are civilians who take active stances to make phone calls, gather
lists and go to make things happen about the stuff that we offer superficial empathy and condolences on-everyday.
We think the extent of defense and help starts and ends at our borders-and it doesn’t.

There are people who know and help orphaned families and children of the people that perished in the
tragedies that we publicly emphasize about. We haven’t a care about outside of “what happened,”
much less-how their loved ones are living-since (their tragedy).

In spirit, karma and from the empathetic heart; condolences, prayers and empathy are more enough-but
best served quietly from the sincere heart. But when we pretty up our walls, personas and images with
condolences and empathy; we forget that the cure (in addition to the prayers and well-wishes)
is one thing that we all can agree on: our time and our money. Time is money just
like we can offer our time or our money in making anything that is wrong-right. And we allknow that.

What good is offering condolences and empathy on a thing for the sake of not feeling shamed for
not acknowledging something that, (if we can) would best be served by doing something about?

During my own years of superficiality and saying stuff to add to my “persona,” I became more
comfortable with keeping it “all-me” and all “about me,” rather than publicly offering or saying
something that I couldn’t (or wasn’t) doing anything about-past the chair that I sat in, especially
when I knew it was because I didn’t want people to shame me for not acknowledging. But in not doing
anything about it, I felt just as fake. So I learned to do what works for my soul while
empathizing from my heart-to whom it may concern.

But that’s me.


In 2009, I was on the Global Grind website, and Kimora posted a traumatic video of
this lil’ fourteen/fifteen year old boy who was brutally beaten by the police. It was all caught on video
(close-up at that). I had never seen anything like it. The boy was unarmed, swollen, turning blue and bleeding
from places I never could image (while trying to breathe). It was like the two cops had gotten a taste of the
adrenaline of what a human kill and torture felt like-and they beat this poor little poor to a literal pulp,
as if they could feel pleasure in their own bodies.

I held onto my chest and breath after I watched the family and the onlookers responding to it all,
but low and behold, after reading Kimora’s post about it-I couldn’t hold my voice back. So I sent
her a hell of a “how dare you” letter. Because I felt like, how could she post this type of story
and interject the fact that the family was having a hard time getting it brought to justice
(because of their finances). Yet, she is not only wealthy-but she posted and published the story
on her website!

For me, it shouldn’t have stopped there. To me, to not step up to the plate (whether silently or publicly)
was less than acceptable. So I read her the riot act about it-right on her website (which was deleted-and
as a writer, I usually keep everything I write but I just went right in and replied-and my post will never
see the light of day again).

All that is fine and dandy and I would be remised if I didn’t mention that when I followed up on the story
later-she did step up to the plate and help out.

Whether or not she had plans to do it before the post or after my post-that’s neither here nor there.
What matters is that she did something about what she PUBLICLY claimed to have empathized about.
So I respect that-thoroughly.

I wasn’t picking on Kimora because she was a public figure and because she was wealthy. Little did she know,
I had the same kind of debate with my best friend in 2005 when the IVR political debate was a hot button issue.
She and I argued like cats and dogs on the phone about it and we hung up and didn’t speak for weeks about her
concern about it versus my issue, which was: “Why in the hell are you playing arm-chair quarterback from your
chair and screaming at the television when there are people in Washington doing something about it?
Yet you and I are sitting on the phone arguing the issue and neither one of us are standing on any steps in DC!”

It just made no sense.
Some things, no matter how serious the sentiment involved, make no sense to comment on where there is
something that can be done after the comment, formality or gesture.

It’s pretentious, in a way.

In closing my long-story long, I say this.

In this day and age of being self-conscious of how we are looking to and FOR other people, we still have to
keep it real-and allow our empathy and sincerity to match that, versus our personas and egos.

So I’m going to start with myself.

On this day of remembrance, even some ten whole years later, outside of
where I was and what I was doing when it happened; I cannot recite to
you ONE person’s name from the 9.11 tragedy (and you, reading this, probably cannot either-in the midst of
all of our formalities and gestures).

But there are people who can: those whom it directly affected.

Regardless the conspiracy theories, the fact still remains: some people died. That’s real.
And my sincere and heartfelt blessings go out to the families and friends of those that perished on
this tragic date tear-stained in the lids of all our eyes to have unfortunately seen.

On this 9.11 date, in addition to the empathy and condolences that we PUBLICLY express for
these families and surviving loved ones, we should also use the thoughts of this day to consider
the things going on in our own personal back and front yards-to the people in our own lives (living)
whom we are awaiting to offer our empathy and condolences at what? Their perishing? Their funerals?

If we can publicly offer it to people that we don’t know, then what about the people in our own lives
(we owe it to) to step up to the plate and do the same? Make our own wrongs-right-rather than at tragedy.

While in our heartfelt formalities and gestures of the day, make them even more meaningful by
really meaning what we say-going forward even after today, as we cherish our
own loved ones and good times in the lives we live now, the way that we do in times of tragedy;
when to whom it would concern, is no longer here.

Keep it real with them (and yourself) while they are still here-like it’s an emergency

Be blessed.

{September 10, 2011}   The Friend Commandments.

1) Keep my secrets as if you are paid to keep them.

2) Naturally treat me like I won the lottery and my check is in the mail.

3) Know that encouragement supercedes congratulations (not the other way around).

4) Guard my heart like your chest plate shields your own.

5) Stab me with a spoon in the front, rather than with a knife in the back.

6) Good or bad, tell me (not someone else) what’s on your mind-especially if I’m the one who put it there.

7) Be “me.” Represent and be able to present: “me,” like I would-me-when I am unable to be there to present and represent myself.

8 ) Feel “me” when I am not feeling myself.

9) See “me” when I do not see myself.

10) Hear “me” when I am not hearing myself.

This reciprocates. Then it oscillates.

Air between.
All ten equals sun in.
Never dissipates.
No if’s, and’s or but’s.
No fair-weather…
Minus one command:
Nothing to claim. Nothing to venture. Nothing to gain.
Just: fair.
My friend.


{August 18, 2011}   Spiritual Gratuity

Some things for which there honestly is no expectation, still deserve an explanation.

Because when we know better, we [have the opportunity and choice to] do better.

People have the function of personal integrity, selflessness, spirituality and the act of spiritual gratitude all twisted sometimes. It’s a silent way of paying it forward.

Paying forward is praying it (going forward)…

We are all spiritual beings (in spite of how deep some of us delve into us, as compared to others with themselves).

As spiritual beings, we are like vessels: recipients of blood and oxygen to ensure functionality.

The spiritual thing about being “vessels” is that, like the literal vessel; we cannot see it-but it thrives because of some THING that makes it function:

The element of air is: freedom.
Air is unseen but it is felt.
It is able to fill up any container that holds it, but it needs to expand indefinitely…

As a spiritual vessel, anything in life commands your: attendance, your affection, or your attention for any amount of time in which you have been:
• ennobled
• encouraged
• inspired
• motivated to do
• motivated to be
• motivated to have

Do not stunt its growth by:

• being spiteful to it
• stifling it
• suffocating it
• sequestering it

ESPECIALLY if it does not cost you anything outside of a little bit of personal integrity and spiritual gratitude. Anything outside of that is merely sententious.
That is not “love.”
That is not selflessness.
It is quite the opposite…

Let me give you an example of “personal integrity” (for which the reward of reciprocity is spiritual gratuity).

Personal integrity is a little bit like this VERY POWERFUL scene at the 3:00-3:39 point where you can see Mister over in the field watching Nettie reuniting Celie with her kids and herself.

Towards the end of the movie, this union was all made possible by way of Mister doing the right thing: going to the Immigration Department and releasing all that he held onto: spiting, stifling, suffocating and sequestering Celie-all those years.

It cost him nothing but a little bit of personal integrity to take that walk to the Immigration Department in order for another human being to breathe again; a whole new breath of life that she had been sequestered from…

So whether it be the wrong that you may feel someone has done to you or because of the wrong that you are holding onto out of spite for another person.
Or just the same-it may very well be the “right” that someone is doing for you in the form of:
• ennobling you
• encouraging you
• inspiring you
• motivating you to do
• motivating you to be
• motivating you to have


• spite them
• stifle them
• suffocate them
• sequester them

Spiritual gratitude is just a thing we do (in silent) even if [like Mister; watching from across the way-we do it without ever having to say: “I did this or that or this for you”].

It is an act of doing rather than withholding and spiting, stifling, suffocating and sequestering.

The beautiful thing about it all is that it is as free as the air we breathe and never costs us one dime in order to do so.

Personal integrity and spiritual gratuity is: what it does.

So make it dew, what it do: what it’s due.

And allow all deeds (done or undone) be between you and the Karma Gods.

Any act of kindness that we can recollect is unknowingly pretentious.

Kindness is merely apart of who we are or who we aren’t-about as much as urinating is apart of what we do.

If kindness is who we are, it is merely apart of what we do.

Can you recollect how many times you urinated today?

{June 9, 2011}   Love Reflection.

When you find something to latch onto for you-you are less likely to latch onto things-and lose you.

Magnetically, things that are for you will latch onto and connect to you.

That which is not, will lose and loosen from you.

Hello Blog Reader.

First, I want to say that I apologize for keeping you on hold regarding this link in the blog.

If you follow this blog, you know for the most part (unless I have an opinion that suits my
agenda/platform/mantra) I pretty much keep it “un” celebrity news (because there are blogs running
rampant with that kind of stuff and I have no interest in running my blog that way).
And also because here-on my blog-I write from my head and my heart about whatEVER I’m thinking,
feeling, observe or experience.

My objective here is to merely be the writer behind the writer.

If you followed this particular link that I started on 5.14.11, you know that I put the brakes
on finishing it “until I felt like” delving into it to finish it.

That is because this particular blog was VERY personal to me, and it hit home in my head and
heart after I read the blog [about Chopper]. It made me pour out a lot that had been on my head and heart.
And because I totally understood the flip-side of how that story was reported from a
point of view you could probably never understand (unless you are experiencing it);
I went in and blogged about it.

Sometimes though, as a writer (who blogs about stuff from the heart), because I am
a published writer who blogs, I’ve found (and observed) that sometimes you have to be careful,
because everybody does not have love for you. And I’m cool with that-because when I write,
post and speak; I do so with MY audience in mind-the rest is null and void and not even in the
back of my mind. I’m as iron-clad, slash tough as nails, slash razorbacked as it gets, in that regard.

With that being said, sometimes when you blog about true feelings and thoughts from the heart
and mind; you have to keep in mind that everybody reading it (or any of your work for that matter)
does not have your best interest at heart. Everybody does not have genuine love for
you and are merely more “curious” than they actually “care” or [or care to] understand anything
you think, feel, observe or experience.

OPPOSITE that though; there are lots of people who do-lots of people who do
have love for me as a person as well as a writer. And for THIS particular blog-this conversation
is one that I would prefer to speak to only THEM; because they would seek to (care) to understand
what I’m getting at and saying, even if they have a slant opposite mine. All else would merely use
it as ammunition and fuel to pick apart, judge, assume and have something to feel important to
gossip and slay about.

Since this particular blog is so personal for me, and since I have no control over which
type of persons’ eyes reaches this blog; one thing I do have control over is continuing to finish
it (or not to).

This blog is free-reading that I chose to share from my heart, mind, observation and experience.
It is not apart of my published work that you pay for, so I’m in control of what I wish to do
[or not do] with it.

That being said, unless my mind changes and I’m ready to finish this particular blog story
(that I still have saved); I am going to put it back on pause and put it to you like this:

If you got love for me, and your reason for visiting this particular link was because you
were interested in knowing and seeking to understand what I was getting at; then you’ll fall
back and respect my decision and be content with the fact that if you ever want to know:
• what I’m thinking
• what I’m feeling
• how I respond
• how I would have
• or how I should have
…handled a situation; keep abreast of my work. I control my characters just as much as they control me…

Me, my imagination, my opposed, my reality and my supposed is what creates the writer in me in every
piece of everything that I write (and publish).

So I like a rap beef (where this type of “personal” is concerned) I am going to have keep my thoughts
and feelings on wax (paper). And if you got love for me, you support me, you feel and love what I do,
and how I do it; then you will respect and rock with this. And I will continue to appreciate having you
read this blog and seeing you anywhere here with me:

But on the flip side of that emotion (that I hope you second), if you do not respect that, then that
means you were merely “curious” and don’t have love for me anyway. In that case, I do not write TO or FOR you -anyway, anywhere.

I cater to those who love and respect what I do and any decision that I feel is best for me.
And if that is you-then let’s keep rocking and rolling, ‘cause I got love for you, too.

I have my own personal reasons for doing everything that I do (and everything that I don’t do)…

To know anything about me as a person OR the writer behind the writer is to first know that fact.

With love and appreciation for yous with love, appreciation and respect for me.

-Angela (9.19.2011).


{May 1, 2011}   Ram. Bam. Scram. Damned.

Even before discovery of, I don’t like Aries men.
But in one slash two, as I grew, I found a friend.

One of my besties was an Aries.
Our energy always clashed.
We’d fight like junkyard dogs in the phone horn and face to face.

But we love hard, as besties-just the same.

When I ride-she ride.

When I cry-she cries.

When I hurt-she’s hurt.

But if she’s hurt, she brings her heart-wholeheartedly.

If she lie-like; she hide-like.

But when it comes to me-I trust her truth over everybody’s plight.


‘Cause she ride-right.

But I fly right.

I pack light.




I evolved.

Damned right…

{March 20, 2011}   Debt Pro-ject.

In life, nothing is owed to us outside of what we lend or extend.

Whatever you expect, just make sure you pro-ject.

{March 13, 2011}   Reality Gone Real.

That middle pic of Shaunie is CLASSIC. I love it! LoLoLoL. Scroll up. Look at it real quick & you will bust out laughing

Let’s all face it: “cliques” (especially girl cliques) are messy-no matter how:
neat, nice or how good they begin.

From the outside looking in, especially for us girls who could care less about
“cliquing up” etc., we love to judge them and point the finger at them.

But when it comes to pointing fingers and judging how someone else works, lives,
plays or socializes; the truth is-it’s not for us to “judge” but rather: accept.

People misunderstand “accepting” a thing for “agreeing” with a thing.

To accept a thing is to merely acknowledge that you recognize that there are other
things outside of what you do-that other’s do-regardless whether you agree or not.

Accept that just because someone does not socialize, play, work, or “clique up”
like we do; it does not make what they do (or how they do what they do) any better
or worse than us (and what or how we do what we do).

I said that as a sidebar mention about what I am about to blog about-so as to
remind those of us who aren’t “cliquish,” or roll with a posse of girls (and to
remind those of us who do-but think our way is any better or whatever) to put our
“silly posse/cliques” judgment guns down-because I am blogging about the issue within
in “the clique”-putting aside whatever I may think or feel about posse’s of girls and
stick to the issue/blog at hand without judgment them: these “BasketBall Wives.”

(I felt I had to preface that, because sometimes before I blog, I will have read so many
comments over the net-and the comments’ bullets go flying every direction, but mostly
straight from “judgment guns” that have each girls’ name on it-rather than what happened
or what the issue was).

So as I blog steering clear of that, I write in hope that my blog reader interprets it
for that-because we all are human and imperfect.

When I saw this heartfelt episode:

...where Tami poured out her heart to the girls regarding them embracing and accepting her
in-I couldn’t help but empathize with what she expressed. I feel it was real, despite the
cameras and the fact that it is a “reality show.”

With regard to Evelyn confessing that she “dated” (and slept with) Tami’s (ex-husband),
(especially after listening to and being in receipt of such a heartfelt moment that Tami expressed);
how could you not feel compelled to lay it all on the table.
That was commendable-on Evelyn's part, because she didn't have to. And in my honest opinion,
their association hadn't "matured" enough for Tami to handle that kind of information (especially on camera).

The reality (of the reality) becomes this [seemingly blunt] but reality check:
Evelyn should have either kept that a secret that she Jennifer shared, or at least revealed it off-camera.

Hold your horses!

But that is the emotional side.
That is the: “woman-to-woman” side.
That is the: “if I truly had any intentions on a friendship between you and me blossoming once
these camera’s are off” side.

But, on the inside of the paint (the business/tv show side), that is where “reality-tv” and
the players in it-have big split-second decisions to make.
That is when something is so serious that it should be dealt with off-camera happens to make
good “tv” for the camera, however, does the most damage for the person/s involved when
the camera stops rolling and the lights go out.

What do you do?

I'll tell (like Shaunie-the executive producer showed you): you keep the camera’s
rolling-that is what you do.

For the love of friendship, yet, the business for television, the reality is that everybody
signed on for it.

And in signing on for it, you enroll (not just the side of you and life that you want to
glamorize or promote), but you also enroll your heart and quite possibly the darker and
unexpected surprises in your life too (depending on who the other players are and what their
relationship or connection is to you).

That is the harsh reality of when “reality” is on the television camera.

That is where “Reality TV” really gets “real.”

The reality of it all (when that camera is rolling and I am sure that
Shaunie-the executive producer of the show itself-would probably agree)-the hardcore fact is:
The main thing, is to keep the main thing: the main thing

…And with that said (and done), let’s drop that bomb by having this Tami-Evelyn pow-wow on
camera...keep it rolling…
And this is what happened as a result:

…(As a sidenote), I have to say that I think that Shaunie was so caught in
the middle of that fiasco in the worse way. And I truly think her empathy (for Tami) was sincere.
I feel that she was straddled the fence on having being closest to the “bad guy” in this
(Evelyn), yet, having been the “victim” and in the same predicament as Tami.
She felt her pain-especially around that 4:20-5:00 moment of the scene. That was a sad,
heartfelt girl to girl moment of care, empathy and understanding.

Also on the flip side of that. After reviewing that same previous video, I won’t waste
time scribing and belaboring the obvious:

• never expect any ball player’s wife (ex or otherwise) to believe that any woman
does not know the ball players marital status especially when you-yourself, were once
(almost married) to one yourself. Any wife (or almost-wife) knows how the “come up” game goes
with these dudes when these girls are on the “come up” on them. Any wife (or almost-wife)
knows that even in college, those type of girls know: the roster, these dudes’ stats and
how to be where they are going to be at even before these dudes step foot on campus soil-and
the same is true for these dudes when they reach the league. Let’s keep it real, Evelyn.

• never expect a human being who just ingratiated themselves to you to react in
any less the manner that Tami did with a lil’ buzz of alcohol, and probably having wished that
confession took place without the cameras on her

• (on or off camera): never tell a woman who you just confessed having slept with her
(then husband), that she was a “non-motherfuckin’ factor” back when you slept with him
(I cant lie-that was funny as hell. I fell out laughing. That line put a whopping on the notorious:
“Who Gone’ Check Me Boo.” But on a serious note, still-you can’t spew that kind of venom in a moment like
that and expect a halo, hymnal music and white wings to appear on the (wife or ex-wife) of the man you
slept with-you just can’t) LoL.

Henceforth, that is when “Reality TV” goes real: having Tami hurt and left with nothing left to
say but: “I can’t trust any of these bitches-that’s really how I feel/The only thing I am sure about,
is these bitches are not my friends and I gotta learn to face the truth about that.”

Well, let me give up the truth about it.

The reality of these types of “cliques,” is that none of them are really true friends (unfortunately).

And as harsh as it may sound, the life of being (as Tami so eloquently put it): “the bitch, the hoe,
the trick, or the jump-off,” of any ball player is a game in and of itself.

It’s a game within a game.

It’s like a culture and within the culture of its own subcultures:
• The wives/ex-wives.
• The fiancés/ex- fiancé’s
• The dancers/cheerleaders.
• The groupies.

In the greater scheme of things, a great majority of these kinds of “friendships”
are no different a game than the actual game/strategy that these husbands and fiancés are
playing (for real) that brought all these women together (for play).

It’s all a “game” nonetheless.

For the men-it’s physical scrimmage (team to team).

For the women; it’s social scrimmage (wives, ex-wives, fiancés, ex- fiancés, dancers,
cheerleaders & groupies).

It’s all still a game-but on two totally different playing fields.

The sad thing about women who step into a man’s “world,” is that while you can step into a man’s
“world” (whatever that “world” may be) with all our womanly mental and emotional faculties;
you still have to understand his “game,” (whatever that “game” may be-whether it’s on
the field or how he socializes).
And then you have to know how to play that game “accordingly.”

When these girls step into these ball-player’s world, and then set up shop socializing with
fellow ball-player’s significant others (ex or otherwise), it’s just like with anything:
The fruition, blossoming and flourishing of any thing is dependent upon the
foundation by which it was built

Any ball players girl that you socialize with, is apart of the same (but different) type of “game.”
And just like it was because of a “game” that brought you all together, you cannot ignore the fact
that chances are there are going to be constant “games” in keeping these kinds of
“friendships” and associations together.

It’s a social scrimmage-survival of the fittest is only guaranteed for those built to champion it.

Unlike women, men can get caught up in the same type of situations (like Tami and Evelyn), but
what’s different about men versus women, is that those two men can (and MOST OFTEN always do)-carry
on and hang out (even though deep down inside, his emotions may feel another way).

Women (MOST OFTEN) cannot.

So, if you are not built for this “game,” (emotionally and mentally-like men are) do not expect
to reap from it: any fruit or blossoming.

If these women are anything smart, they have to associate themselves just like their
husbands and fiancé’s are playing their (real life game): by SEASON.

And if anything blossoms during that “season,” consider it a blessing.

However, do not expect anything more or anything less in order to avoid a bittersweet end.

Whether sipping on cheap bottles of wine,
pina colada, or nature’s finest–diluting: cloud,
mud, or smog (from the world outside love)…fluidity can bring about a kind
of clarity where newness can begin again.

These two songs remind me of that. Take a listen to the lyrics of both songs. I love ’em:



{February 6, 2011}   DJ.

MISS NG: *Cheezy Radio Announcer Voice*
It’s your hostess with the most-est that puts the Fire in your Desire and the Flight in Your Night.
Caller, you’re off the air.
So close the door if you want me to respond:

Ah yes.
My love and me are having a tough time, and things have gone too far.
I’m trying real hard, to undo the scars and bring things back up to par.
I’m cooking dinner tonight, and my lil’ honey will be over here soon.
Please put together for me, a compilation CD that’ll make my baby’s heart croon.
Ohhh a CD mix of those songs that you do.
Oh my goodness!
I want one too.
All over town I keep hearing all about you.

MISS NG: * Cheezy Radio Announcer Voice*
Well I’m here for you.
To help you unlock all mysteries and provide you with all the clues.
But listen closely to what it is I do:
I tailor the song and the mood exclusive to you…
And to make you and your lover make it ‘do what it ‘due.
Just keep in mind, while you bump and grind
My remedy works and drunkens the heart and mind
But your lover must “see” only you-in this moment in time.
We don’t only pick the songs exclusive and desired by you.
This here is about love
And that’s not what love’s supposed to do.
We pick out the songs that your lover will see in you.
You just tell me the mood
I can lyrically make the two of you
Wake it and bake it make it taste like food.
Even if you want to take it higher and produce yourselves a brood.
I can surely make this thing that happen for you.
Soul to soul.
However do you want it?
However do you need it?
I can make hearts and break hearts
Like new brakes I can bleed ’em.
Listen to me now:
Are you a damsel in distress tonight?
Did your lover hurt you some days ago
And you still have the blues with a little bit of hurt-residue?
Are you gonna lay out in the floor
And place your hand on your forehead-sort of like a Harlequin romance?
Or do you want the song to croon
Turn your back to your lover like soap-opera love in the afternoon?
For that, I can put together dramatic music like Celine Dion’s:
It’s All Coming Back to Me Now,” where the music is fierce!
It plays like a Broadway score.
Lyrics dancing in your heads
Telling a story of the hurt and pain your lover caused you and went Ham.
Each syllable, the music creeps up over the lyric and overpowers it
And then: BAMM!
You lay out it the floor-like a damsel in distress!
By the time your lovers kneels
And holds you in a sweet caress.
It will all be coming back to the both of you now
Your lover will then confess:
* NG sings*
‘Cause when you hold me like this. And when I hold you like that. We forgive and forget and it’s all coming back to me. The flesh and the fantasies all coming back to me now…”

Oh yes! Yes! I can see it now! Oh yes!
And then after that, I want to keep the pace slow
Because I want us to slow dance in the middle of the flo.’
Then we can take it to the back and close the door.
Where I’ll cut ‘em no slack, hurt-no more.

MISS NG: * Cheezy Radio Announcer Voice*
Awwwwwwwwwww sooki sooki now.
(NG snaps fingers and points at the computer screen)
I know what you want.
You want me to finish off the night having done all the love songs made possible by
Prince and classic R.Kelly and such.
Then move on over to their musical kinky side-much?
Is that what I’m hearing between the thoughts of this clutch?

Yes! That’s exactly what I want!

MISS NG: * Cheezy Radio Announcer Voice*
Okay I’m ready to put this compilation together for you.
Let me explain to you what I used to do.
I used to make compilation’s cassette tapes for your nights like this.
And send you lovers on many nights in bliss.
We’re in a different time and space now.
And what I do in this place now.
Is put you on a hold-so delicate, nice and sweet.
Get my permission for this mission from the artist via Tweet.
So hold a second and let me get this thing crackin.’
I waste no time. I’m never slackin.’
Hold please while I start my mackin:’

MISS NG: * Types on the computer*
Hello my artist friend. Are you down for the cause?

Uh. What cause is that @NGtheDJ? (says Singing Friend)

BeCAUSE of love is the cause…Because the music YOU make is what makes this
world go ‘round in applause. I would like to include your song on some
compilation sounds. Amongst other great artists like yourself I must say.
The lovers who are in receipt of this
Give testimonials about how your music gave them a lift
In return your CD’s will continuously sell.
Twenty years from now-you’ll still get checks in the mail.
So are you down for the cause-beCAUSE of love?

Uh. Okay. Fine by me.

I will get back with you on the specifics, my caller is smiling with glee

Caller, I got all my e-signatures for this compilation disc.
But there’s one more thing I cannot dismiss.
Though, because of love, the disc is free.
You must still pay your own shipping and handling fee.
If downloaded, the download is just as free.
But you still must pay what we call: “a gripping and handling fee.”
Five dollars either way.
Here is the link for you to pay
Just press “send” and you’ll be on your way

* NG sends link*

Oh I’m so happy. I can’t WAIT!

MISS NG: * Cheezy Radio Announcer Voice*
Well I’ma tell you just like I oughta.
As sang like Sissy’s daughter:
“My Love is Your Love.”
But just like that 80’s hit
I’ma break you off with this little bit:
* NJ sings*
“Don’t you…Forget about me.”

MISS NG: * Cheezy Radio Announcer Voice continues*
Keep me in that heart
That just got itself a jump start.
I don’t ask for much.
But remember this, while in the midst of your lover’s clutch:
Just a penny for your thoughts.
A nickel for your kiss.
And a dime if s/he tells you that s/he loves you
…will suffice.
Trust me while s/he lusts you
For me, that will be nice.
Keep me in mind for those nights where you need a little temptin.’
‘Cause I’m never slacking up-in-here-on my pimpin.’

I will! I will! Thank you! Thank you!

(Next caller):

MISS NG: *Cheezy Radio Announcer Voice*
It’s your hostess with the most-est that puts the Fire in your
Desire and the Flight in Your Night.
Caller, you’re off the air.
So close the door if you want me to respond…


{February 5, 2011}   Game: Recognizing Game.

For the record, keep in mind, one of the purposes of my blogging (when I blog about things like this type of thing)
is not to judge, but rather- give an opinion that is not mean-spirited and hurtful. It’s enough of that going around.
So, I won’t blog about things like this just to throw my opinion around and be mean; I will only blog about things
like this when I feel there is a lesson in it
(like I did in my blog posting: “The Voice of Reason When We Are Being Unreasonable”).

I have to admit, I am bit androgynous mentally and emotionally.
Figuratively speaking, I’m also a bit four-eyed and wear bifocal lenses at times.
Other times, I see through single-vision lenses.

As I sit here, watching a re-run of “Basketball Wives,” I can’t help but put the conversation that
is in my mind here on paper.

Evelyn and Chad.

As I’ve gotten to know the show, I have gathered about Evelyn-that she could possibly
be a good person off-camera. When I watch reality television, I try to put my judgment aside
when it comes to people’s personality as displayed on these reality shows, because often times,
it is exaggerated (be it by their own doing or “editing,”-that popular excuse).

The arm-chair quarterback in me can’t help but evaluate Evelyn and her literal quarterback: Chad.

I say this from the female part of me that wears a male thinking cap:
I have been in the heads of many, observed and experienced a lot.
The female side of me, after getting to know the show, observed that despite how rough and
tough Evelyn appears; she is the most delicate at heart. One conversation about her divorce
situation can send her talking with tears in her voice. We’ve all seen it. It’s an obvious
soft-spot with her.

As I observe, I can’t help but arm-chair quarterback these words out to the screen as I watch:
“Are you serious? I know that Chad is handsome, great body, charming, rich and popular, but if
you are smart, when it comes to Chad, I would reach in my heart and pull out that one emotion
that all of us women have when we are not immediately interested in someone that we are dating.
You know that one-our voices are relaxed, we don’t giggle as much or blush. We just kick back.
No, we don’t cross ‘em out, yet, we are not giddy and bubbly-eyed either. However, we might like
‘em enough to date them again-that kind of emotion. That’s how you’d better play this game with
Chad if you are to protect your delicate heart.”

I looked at it like this.
Wasn’t it just last season that Evelyn, Jennifer, Royce and Suzie attended a party at a house
in Miami that was allegedly given by Chad?
At that very same party, didn’t Evelyn, Jennifer, Royce and Suzie rag on the party?
If my memory serves me correct, (via Twitter) didn’t Chad post something cryptic regarding that
whole situation-expressing how pissed he was that they would put him on blast like that?

No, that’s not to say that between that time and now (this season) he couldn’t have honestly
checked up on Evelyn and took liking to her (I mean, she is an attractive girl).
But it’s called: strategy. Good for his popularity. Good for the popularity of the show.
Fair exchange is no robbery. Furthermore, I’m sure he studied her enough to know that she was
the perfect wide-receiver…

But understand where part of my thinking in this stems from-are you ready?

Chad is fun, jovial and seems like an all-around good-guy in addition to his (aforementioned)
attributes. But even if you aren’t a football fan, if you don’t know anything else about Chad;
you do know that he loves attention. And regardless the on or off season in football-he is going
to keep his name out there and significant, by all means necessary…

There’s nothing wrong with that (per se’), but my observation also stems from the fact that
he is a Capricorn.

“WHAT!” I know you yell. Hmm. But read on.

Can’t blame Evelyn for not knowing this part, or anyone else that doesn’t know “The Capricorn Way”
for that matter; but one thing about a Capricorn (man or woman), is that they are atop the pyramid
when it comes down to seizing an opportunity. Above any sign of the zodiac, they are major opportunists.

Don’t take that the wrong way.
Many people jump on the defense when referring to anyone as an “opportunist.”
Truth be told, everybody has a little bit of an opportunist in them, but regardless how great or
small the trait is; you can never outdo a Capricorn man or woman in seizing an opportunity where
these three things are at stake:

-Social status

Listen to me carefully, and in all seriousness…

If you ever think that you will outdo a Capricorn in seizing an opportunity where those three
things are concerned; you had better think again.

As well, if you think that a Capricorn would allow you to ruin or seize those three things from
them; you’d better think again-again.

That is their astrological house and they sit on the throne of it.

If you ever seized an opportunity over a Capricorn’s persistent sure-footedness, be rested and
assured that if it didn’t have anything to do with money, reputation and social-status; it didn’t
matter to them, so they most likely turned away from it and made you think that you won.

I’m sure that anyone reading this blog could vouch for the fact that a “Chad Johnson” (Capricorn):
ball player, handsome and rich, is right up Evelyn’s alley.
But as a woman, I think it’s sad when we allow our materialistic selves rule us and our heart and
heads cloud our thinking.
Yet, when things don’t go our way, we immediately point the finger at the guy and make him the bad
guy, when, in this case-the cards are all on the table:

She got popular show right now.
(Chad loves his popularity).
She’s been with a ball player before.
(Chad is a ball player).

As a woman on top of her game (not even knowing “The Capricorn Way”), she knows enough about his
“Mr. Popularity” personality enough, that not only should she not be so giddy and impressed by a pair
of LV studded boots, life-sized roses and flowers, a trip to Cincinnati, and fun in Spain
(as posted all across the internet of the two of them).

That’s not to say that she should not have be grateful, but let her tell it-with the high life that
she has lived; all of that shouldn’t have come as much as a surprise to her.

Furthermore, the cost of all that he’s done so far, is a drop in a bucket on his salary and is in no way,
commensurate with the increase in his popularity, and income from all this during this off-season.
It increases his worth-regardless if whatever team he plays on-he will always be good for publicity-that
even puts him on top of the game of the game and all other football players.
He knows what he’s doing.
She is good prey.
He knows when he’s doing.
He “got game” countless times over the game of football.
She: ‘aint got no game.
And when you’ve got that much mouth and sass-you had better have game, in order to recognize game,
if you have no substance to back you up…

Despite the fact that she “claims” that she’s okay with them being just “friends” and she likes
being single, that’s only because he hasn’t given her the okay to be claimed by him.
Because according to how she presents herself on that show-if she could-she would.

Reality shows are cool for people who just don’t mind being out there, but in having “game,” a woman
who is divorced from a ball player and hangs in ball-player wives circles, parties all the time etc.;
she couldn’t meet a pro-player (right now-since this show) that would take her adoration for him-being
anything more than something she would have for the next ball player that would have her.

It’s just all out there.

Don’t get me wrong, there is some ball player out there that would put all that aside and let her have
her way-live that life again that she wants. But I seriously doubt it would be Chad-he is politicking
and polishing his popularity, status, reputation and income.

He’s done his homework on her-right at the push of his remote control.
She just hasn’t done hers on him (and there is enough to know even if you don’t know “The Capricorn Way.”
That is…if you “got game”).
Doing homework and “having game…” if you noticed in that Skype date, he already established his dominance
in the situation (having studied her firecracker personality).
That fly at the mouth talk was not going to fly with him. He put the smack down on that early.
She had no choice but to call it “cute”/”blow for blow” (or whatever she referred to it as).
Because he’s already done his homework; he knows what she would like to have from him and with him-so he
knows that he is free to set the tone of the “relafriendship” (is what we’ll call it). But more importantly,
he already knows the game; she’s just running with the ball.

MORE FROM THIS WRITER: http://www.angelasherice.com

In spite of how righteous, sound, spiritual, or philosophic we are-still, we are only human.
Part of being human is recognizing that we are emotional beings first.
Despite how emotional restrained many of us can appear to be (and give off to others) we are
still emotional beings-we cannot escape that.
Emotion is our innateness naturalness.
Thinking, rationale and logic are not apart of our naturalness-and all come with age and experience.
We have to learn to think.
We have to learn to rationalize.
We have to learn logic.
We don’t have to learn how to feel-we just feel.
That being said, naturally, we are more apt to rethink our (intellectual) beliefs and what
we think quicker than our (emotional) deep-seated feelings, despite the fact we can give off the
impression that we can…

As I was watching an episode of “The Game,” there was a part in it where Tasha Mack was having
a pow-wow with Melanie. Melanie was ranting on about her disdain for a girl in the segment (Jazz).
She had some deep-rooted feelings where Jazz is concerned, because (if you follow the show),
Jazz not only slept with Melanie’s (then boyfriend-now husband: Derwin), a popular football player;
but additionally, Jazz happened to have snagged herself a football player from Derwin’s same football
team-who married her.
As a result of this, it brought Jazz into a club called “The Sunbeams” who consist of the player’s
wives (a kind of “sorority” of some sort).

Melanie and Jazz’s exchange:

Melanie: What the hell do you think you’re doing?
Jazz: I believe it’s called stunt’n
Melanie: No what it’s called is misleading these girls down the wrong path.
Jazz: Excuse me?
Melanie: Yeah, today was suppose to be about uplifting these girls and setting
an example for them but instead you have been running around here thinking it’s okay to sleep with
everyone and shake their ass in music videos.
Jazz: Sleep around, wait, is this about Derwin? Is he still talking about me?
That is so cute.
Melanie: What?! No, this has nothing to do with Derwin. It’s about you convincing
these girls there’s some future in them objectifying themselves.
Jazz: Well, that’s weird because it seems that my future is almost identical to yours.
You married a football player, I married a football player. You’re a Sunbeam. I’m a Sunbeam.
At the end of the day, I’m sitting at the same table as you. Actually no, not true. I’m sitting at the
autograph table unlike you.
Melanie: Excuse me?
Jazz: And you call yourself a role model? You’re nothing but a fake ass, insecure,
wannabe doctor, who enjoys bringing down other women to build yourself up. And I tell you what…my
background may be a little skanky but I’m a skank that keeps it 100. Now if you’ll excuse me,
“Little Skitzo” is waiting.

(Jazz walks away and in steps Tasha Mack):

Melanie: Can you believe her?
Tasha Mack: Mmm hmm. I love it that girl got HEART.
Melanie: Tasha, how could you say that?
Tasha Mack: Oh, come on. Come on Melanie, you know you had that coming-the way
you’ve been treating her. You lucky she didn’t didn’t whoop yo’ ass a long time ago because if she
had asked me, I probably would’ve helped her too.
Melanie: What? How could you defend her, she practically slept her way into the Sunbeams.
Tasha Mack: Okay. Don’t make me remind you of your freaky little tendencies Mrs.
“Trey Wiggs/Hop-in-the-Bed with Malik-Jerome!” You ain’t nobodies Saint, okay? Because at the end of
the day we all got here the same way: either giving up the cooch or pushing somebody up out the cooch.
So you remember that the next time you go judging somebody.

I love this show.
I have a good time watching it.
When I watch television, I don’t watch “channel zero.”
Naturally, just as a part who I am as a person, there are times where I do take my thinking cap off but a
situation on television will make me think.
This was one such episode.

It resonated with me because we all need this Tasha Mack (here in this episode) in our lives.
That voice of reason…
That voice of reason is a God-send, just God-awesome.

That voice of reason is that person in our lives (a friend)- a real friend-not the kind where you have
“weird” energy between one other; hidden resentment, competitiveness or a combative relationship where
every time you say “A” they are already contemplating “B.” Yet, in spite of, you guys are still “friends”
(for whatever reason). That’s not the kind of friend I’m talking about, that voice of reason that we need,
cannot come from energy like that.

That voice of reason can only come from a person who truly loves you-without incident, unconditionally.
The friendship or closeness that you share is pure-total care for you-with your best interest at heart,
even when you are not around. Only that kind of mirror (Tasha to Melanie) being turned to your face can come
from and be respected by you, from somebody who is true-blue. You’re more apt to re-think and listen, because
you know they aren’t being spiteful to you.

They may not always agree with what you think or feel, yet they do not always seek to disagree with what
you think or feel either…And can turn a mirror to you, or provide you with sound reasons why, or why not.

They know you so well, that when your emotions take over, they become that voice or reason: that logical, rational
side that (because of our deep-seated emotions about a thing), they can save us, as well as other people from harm
that we can cause ourselves (in the long run) as well as the damage we can do to others-simply because our emotions
got in the way.

When our deep-seated emotions are in the way, mostly based upon what we feel about a person; we tend to judge them,
condemn them and scrutinize them in ways to suit or ego and comfort our feelings. We even take it a step further by
justifying our feelings based upon what a horrible person that other person is (or was).

Yet, like in this segment Tasha Mack, read her [not the “Riot Act”] but rather: “The Declaration of Independence.”
And in turn, Melanie picked her face up off the floor and was forced to see herself-in the same light that she shined
on Jazz. Though different, it was the “same difference. “

Did you notice how after that voice of reason presented itself to Melanie, the ladies came together and proceeded
to have a wonderful night? Sure, I know this is a television show, but the same thing happens in real-life, only
after sense is made of a thing or a voice of reason steps in.

Do you have a voice of reason in your life?
You know, that real friend (again): not the kind where you have “weird” energy between one other; hidden resentment,
competitiveness or a combative relationship where every time you say “A” they are already contemplating “B.” Yet, in
spite of, you guys are still “friends” for one reason or another.

Only you would know if you have a real friend/voice of reason in your life, because only you know whether or not
your thoughts and feelings are safe with them.

If you do have at least one-you are lucky, because we all have errors in our ways and our train of thought.

We need that voice of reason to re-direct us at those times when our deep-seated emotions are telling our egos
that our thinking is correct and justifiable, when in fact, our emotions are what needs to be put in check-so
that we cannot only free ourselves, but other people as well.

In love and in life, there is no such thing as an in-between anything on that which we are with, and as well, that which is with us.

In a life of love and a love of life, there are no in-betweens, only: IN CAHOOTS.

{February 3, 2011}   Love is a Person Place or Thing

When you love you and see yourself in any person,
place or thing outside of yourself;
you only seek and therefore find love in that person,
place or thing.

{February 3, 2011}   Grow and Go

Life is like a field of flowers.
As we grow, we blossom.
We grow with those who grow with, support and love us.
Nourishment leads to reciprocation which leads to oscillation.
We never step on them-no luck can come from that.
No blessings can flourish in that.
Likewise, no luck or blessings can come from stepping on that which does not grow with and nourish us.
Those are simply thorns that we do not touch; we simply walk around or past that.

{January 31, 2011}   Love from Top to Bottom.

Love a selfless emotion in which all its euphoria
has everything to do with that which is opposite you.

Love is simply for and about that which we claim to love.
It’s not about “you.”

I read somewhere, a quote that said something to the effect of:
“Love is that burning desire to be desired by the one(s) we love.”
That’s not “love,” that’s back to it being about “you.”

Is selfless in that, to ask someone: “why do you love me?” the
laundry list is usually ways you make them feel, or what things
you do to and for them that makes them feel special and loved
That is not what love is-that again, is about “you,”
not what “I love YOU [the other person] is.”

“I love YOU” is that laundry list of things about
someone else that you love-that list should have
everything to do with them, and nothing about “you.”

What’s love got to do with it?
Everything. When it is filled with selflessness-complete selflessness.
And surrender-complete surrender…

It is still that thing in your eye that gleams-all wheely neely.
But the (true) meaning of love is like taking one for the team.…that is what
(true) love is: You, “taking one for the team.”

{January 30, 2011}   A Woman

A woman can be complex.
But one complex-simple thing about her is: no matter how gullible she seems (or may be/has been); she always pays attention to how well-respected you are by everyone around you (male, female, friends, siblings, clerk at the store, at leisure, at work, at play-all that).

Be it now or later, that observation secretly plays a major part in what she thinks of you (no matter how much she may love/d you).

The irony of that fact however, is that-that observation is true for a woman if she’s gullible and as well-if she is not.

But she will never realize that fact until she is no longer gullible.

While she’s gullible: she is watching.

When she is past the gullible stage; she has seen.

That is such a complex fact about any woman that she-herself-probably cannot explain if she’s 18 or 80 (regardless her zodiac sign or whatever her walk in life is).

It just is what it is or it ‘aint what it ‘aint.

If you know or learn nothing else about a woman, know that fact.

Because for some strange reason, no matter what; that will trump everything-later, should the later occur.

{January 30, 2011}   Undefined.

Give me Dread.
Give you Red.
Give me Boo.
Give you Blue.
Earn my Loyalty.
Give you Royalty.
Never duplicated.
Somewhat complicated.
Simply stated:
One Me.
One You.
Such a Rarity.
Way you stare at me.
Not a Parody.
Give me You.
Give you Glue.
Give me True.
Crazy Glue.
Unguarded Me
Just for You.
Through & Through.
Others I’m passing.
Standing Tall.
No more wall.
Beckoned to call.
In to win.
All within.
Truth is thin?
Gone like wind…
Said it once.
Say it two:
Give me You.
Give me True.
Like Crazy Glue…



The moon was so pretty last night.
As it shined through my window pane.
Glaring in my face, bright enough to make a stain.
But it didn’t.
Instead it called out my name.
Staring at it made me remember all the things I could not change.
It just sat there, immovable and stubborn-sort of like you.
I’m watching it, telling it things I wanted it to do.
But it just sat there…
It wouldn’t move, or do what I told it to.
But still that moon was so pretty you see
Reminding me of the feeling I had when you were first sent to me

But when I look at that pretty moon, I know that in a matter of days, its shape will change
Just like our love from bass, alto, to soprano range
Like the way we cuss, holler and fight;
Oh this tumultuous love affair
The tears that I cry, just needs to know that you care

It’s so funny unlike before; confidently I can say I’m at a “safe” place today
If you stray or stay either way, I’ll play
The intensity could go almost any way

For I spend just as much time crying with you as I do when we are apart
Still trying to find a name for this feeling inside my heart

It hurts so much for me to leave, and hurts just as much for me to stay.
It’s so funny how I talk about how much I love you and how much you love me
Yet love isn’t supposed to be this way

Never understanding the why or how
I’m packing up my life and love for now
Taking a deep breath, I have to do it now or never
Though in my heart I know for you or for me
There’s no one else out there who makes the other better.
You bring out the best in me.
And also the worst
Sort of like an irreplaceable curse

You see loving you is so very simple, not hard to do
For me it comes easily. I never ever had to deceive you
Lie, cheat or steal? All I had to was leave you
Because I know that it would hurt you more
So now I’m walking through the door

And what about the way you lied to my heart, cheated me of my chance
Stole all of my love with just one glance?
Slighted us of making good love and great romance

A love like ours, should it ever be?
The way we love, then hate, so passionately
In circles-just like that moon shining through my window pane
Making me wonder if our love will ever be the same

Or am I fooling myself, packing up my love, my life; calling myself leaving you?
Knowing in my heart and mind that you, on the other side of that pretty moon
It’s making you blue
Me? On this side. I’m bluer than blue.
Thought you knew…

Thinking of the way we play tug of war with each others hearts
A love like ours, shouldn’t have ever fallen apart
You and me; we could have wrote the book on it
But I’m on this side of the pretty moon, trying hard to close the book on it
By making myself disappear from all five of your senses
Reminding myself that this time I meant it
Knowing that you’re on the other side of that pretty moon-still waiting for me
You can’t imagine how much on this side of the moon, the same thing applies to me

Stretching my imagination a little bit
Picture this.
You, on the other side saying, “you’re cute and fine but you just aint her-
She’s one of a kind, 1 more than a 9. A love like hers is hard to find.”
Me? On my side inferring the very same thing to the person in my face,
They’re cute and fine, and all that, but could never take your place
I’m envisioning you right now with your jealous lil face;
Frowning and mad, your everyday pace.
Woe to anyone who tries to invade your space
In my heart and mind and all my five senses
But these games that we play are ever so senseless

I must admit, your jealousy turns me on.
But not from the other side of the moon…

How unfair of you on the other side of that pretty moon above
Looking like the thief who stole all of my love
Unable to feel that wrath of my jealous ways
Or see my fits of angry displays
I know there are a lot of things that you do
That I’m more than sure I won’t agree to
While on that other side of the moon…

I’m staring at the pretty moon, bright, stubborn, round-and in a circle: like our love
Staring at the heavens up above, telling it to tell you it’s you that I’m thinking of
That moon, shaped sort of like how I’m talking, in circles, cause I aint going nowhere
You without me and me without you, us without us- I could not bare

I ask you once again, are you here to stay or play?
I won’t try to stop you if you should decide to stray
The gloved one said it best in a song one day
“I like living this way. I like loving this way”
So I’m unpacking my lil bags of life and love
To show you that you are the one I’m always thinking of

I know when I wake to the sun that you will be there
To take over all my five senses and to show that you care
I’m inviting you to hold me and see all that I see
And show you exactly what you mean to me
I’m inviting you to the sweet sounds of you and I when we make love
Underneath that pretty moon shining up above
I’m inviting you to the smell of you and me on fire
And feel our hearts melt into one desire
I’m inviting you to the taste of ecstasy
Of me on you and you on me
I’m inviting you to touch me the way you want to
And to do all the things that you want me to do
Then you’ll know for sure what’s in my heart and mind
‘Cause a love like ours, we’ll never find……………….

The sun was so pretty this morning…


{January 30, 2011}   I Can’t Stay Long

I don’t get out much but I came out to play
With you since we’ve anticipated this day
It’s clear that you know I have someone at home
Which is the reason why I cant stay long

I’m here because I wanna be, and you wanted me too
And for you to show and prove what you told me you could do
How selfish of me, this lusty desire
Now is just as good a time as any, besides, my heart is on fire

I felt somewhat bad when I just left from home
Kissing my baby and rushing out, dressed in just a trench coat and thong
Hell I’m here, forgetting about it, even though I knew it was wrong
But I’m gonna tell you once again, I can’t stay long

Pardon me if it seems I’m in a rush, believe it or not my mind is at ease
I’ll show you by caressing you and telling you to do what you please
Hold on for a second, this just doesn’t feel right
I’m here spending time with you and left my baby alone tonight

Well actually that’s not so, because it’s our home and my presence is always there
He’s probably lighting candles, and preparing my bubble bath to show that he cares
It’s funny, he’s always been like that, doing things for me to ensure I won’t leave
The things he does and says to and for me, you could never believe

Listen to me, sitting here, talking about my baby in the middle of this scandal
Imagining me with someone else is something I know he couldn’t handle
Yet, I’m sitting here allowing you to admire me dressed in nothing but this thong
For the third time I must remind you that I can’t stay long

Thinking about my baby and talking to you is making me see something clear
There really is no good reason why I should be here
He gives me good lovin’ and everything from A-Z
No one has ever loved me the way that he loves me

Hmm. Chante thinks she’s got a man? Well I got the rock to prove it
A date he’s dying for me to make and rushing me to move it
He’s not sitting at home, twiddling his thumbs thinking I’m out on a prowl
He’s writing a list of things to do for me; what, when, where, and how

But even if he had nothing, but his good love you see
I’d still be with him because of the way that he loves me

He’s forever thinking of things that he could have done some way better
If I come home and he is not there, he always writes me a letter
We don’t play silly games, trying to keep this thing called “mystery”
For, my heart is in his hands and his is right here with me

We’ve been together for so long and he tells me every day is like the first
Married now or never, he reiterates for better or for worse
But he tries his damnedest to see to it that there is no such a thing
At night when he holds me he’s thinking of what tomorrow will bring

For us, he looks forward to a new day and does all that he could
He actually does all that and more than what you told me you would
Treat me right? We never fight? We talk about everything
Obsessed with cleaning this rock on my finger, that’s more than just a ring

He says he loves to watch it sparkle like the sexiness in my eyes
Wines and dines? Shit he cooks for me and he never tells me lies
Took me home to meet his mama? I’m the only one she knows
He makes love to me from my head to my feet and even massages my toes

In this game of love you see, it’s more than just me
It’s him, the two of us, loving unselfishly
That’s right, me and him; the two of us together
Making it through all the storms and any kind of weather

Well, I already told you that I couldn’t stay long and sorry things didn’t go your way
But hopefully you learned a lot from me and will remember this day
If you ever find someone that you feel for the way you say that you feel for me
Make sure that you treat her like my baby does me, and I’m sure she’ll never leave

One lesson that I hope you learned you see
When loved the way that my baby loves me
It’s so very important to look outside of yourself
While your baby at home thinking for them there is no one else

I’m terribly sorry if this one night with me has made you blue
But my homie/lover/friend loves me more than you
If you could be a fly on the wall you would know that this were true
But the love he gives me, right here and now, is exuding from me to you

You can stay the night here, I don’t mind, the room is already paid for
Looking at the timepiece you see, he bought for me, I must now walk to the door

Wearing what he bought me-this trench coat and panty thong
Our love was built to last and is ever so strong
I’m going home to a love so right-that never goes wrong
I forewarned you when I came: I can’t stay long…


Regarding this poem.
My friend had me read to her-this poem, while she closed her eyes to absorb it. When she opened her eyes, she was tearing up, and she said to me: “but Angela, there are no men in the world like that.”
(Hmmm. To be continued?)…

{January 30, 2011}   Love is.

When you are in control of your own head and
your own heart-you do not have to “guard” it from
love (platonic love, romantic love or otherwise).

You guard your head and your heart from people,
situations and surroundings that truly have no
love for you.
And yet at still, you can only do that too-if you’re
control of your own head and heart-just the same.

True love (platonic, romantic or otherwise), has no
consequences or repercussions. That is, if it’s true love…
The funny thing about love is-in life, you’re going to fall for it,
fall into it, stand up for it, and fall down from it, but in the end,
it still falls back to you.
If you are in control of your head and your heart, you down have a problem
picking up the pieces and falling for it, falling into it, standing up for it,
and falling down from it-again.
And sometimes, again and again, until you get it right.
That’s love and that’s life…
People who complicate love typically have no business out here in the game
of it-because they’re usually not done with working on love for
themselves-head and heart-first, (in my opinion).

People are much-much too concerned with: “did you love him/her more than me,”
and all kinds of unnecessary mind wrangles that whether we express them aloud or not;
we are too preoccupied with. That complicates love.
Healthy love, is the realization that chances are, you might have loved him/her more or
less or in different ways for different reasons but if someone is willing to share love
with you and you are willing to share and accept that love, then work with the fact that
it’s us-here and now. So let’s rock and roll with the-us, here and now.
All else is just too complicated.
Love is not complicated (true love isn’t).



{January 30, 2011}   Delivery.

You can lead a horse to water.
But you can’t make him drink.
You “CAN” claim you’re a champion lover, but the proof is in your delivery.
You can help make a baby, but can you deliver?
Well then the product of the prize is essentially the fruits of the deliverer’s labor.

Debts I paid them all to you. I paid and paved the way for you.
If the proof is in the puttin’ then it was me who put it on.

What good are dancin’ feet to one who can’t deliver the dance?
Can do is what really matters, all else means nothing at all.
‘Cause you “can” pull the rug from beneath my dancin’ (and deliverin’) feet, doesn’t mean that I will fall.
Nobody is perfect, I know I’ve done my wrongs, but I have no reason to hide in a shell.
My strength comes from those who remained in my corner, knows my heart and mean me well.
I said it once before, it’s not what you “can” say, but what you “can” do.
Ooops, I contradicted myself in that song I did and delivered about you.

It’s not all about what you “can” do, but it’s all in the delivery.
So I ask-once again: “Is it true that you “can” (deliver too?)”

I wrote this to put something on your head, for the next time you think of slaying and defaming my name.
Make sure you “can” do AND deliver all of your claims to fame.

Until then, I’m turning my back on you-my shoes you’ll never fit
May the last words you’ll here from me come from that other hit:
“These boots are made for walkin-’ tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna put on my walking boots and I’m gonna walk all over YOU…”



{January 30, 2011}   I Never Finished What I Started.

Ever since I was a child, my mind has traveled from mile to mile
To many places, persons and things
Refraining from making promises, afraid of what tomorrow brings
But you can’t call me a procrastinator
I never promise to get back later
Everything from A to Z, every canvas that I’ve touched
Friendships/relationships, yes they all meant much
It’s just that I never finish what I’ve started.
Yet I try so hard not to do anything half-hearted.

Detached? Astrology tells me that I am not.
Does completion really put me on the spot?
Though my mind at times appears lost in space
My heart has always been in the right place:
With you…
And everything else for that matter
But since loving you this one thing I have gathered
That I never finish what I started, yet I try so hard not to do anything half-hearted
But of everything from A to Z
I’m so glad that you were sent to me
To help me finish what I have started, to give you my all whole hearted.
You’ve proven to me time and time again that you are here to stay
And wouldn’t have it any other way
You make me finish what I started
Regardless how many times we’ve parted

If I could think of one song that reminds me of you
One that makes me cry even when I’m not feeling blue
It’s called “The Wind Beneath My Wings,” you know that one, don’t you?

I never finish what I started…



{January 30, 2011}   I Hate You.

When I see you I see fog.
I hear rain. I feel fire. I feel pain.
The mere thought of your touch to mine feels like brisk cold wind to my skin.
And it’s because I hate you.
I hate you for all that you did, and all that you didn’t do.
Can’t say that I hate you for all you didn’t say. You said plenty-you just never followed through…
Nor did anything “Me” or anything “You…”
No matter what I think of when I think of you, tears from the years marinade from inside
And make their way to crowd my tired eyes.
But they never fall anymore.
They just sit there.
Filling up in the wells of my soul and then like the Grim Reaper, here comes the fog: Guess who?
I hate you.
On fire, my heart palpitates and sends Fahrenheited sensations to my chest down through my limbs.
A place once filled with the pitter-patter of butterflies moving all around and about at whim.
I hate you so very much because you put many miles on my heart.
You make me wonder if this was in your plan right from the start…
Funny how you crept on me, then in to me and left nothing but skid marks all the way through me.
I hate you for all that I went through for you, with you and because of you.
I hate the fact that I share this universe with you.
I hate everything that reminds me of you.
I hate that you breathe the same air that I breathe.
I hate you.
I just hate you, and wish that you would leave…
I never loved so hard, hated or hurt so bad.
I hate you so much because with no warning-like the same way you entered my life-you made me hate you right in the middle of loving you…
And for that, I just nothing but hate you.

©2001 AngelaSherice


{January 30, 2011}   So Compatible…Are We.

I turned to the television
To the sounds of the land and the sea
As always, you capture me-and keep my undivided attention.

no one was waiting there
the atmosphere belonged to only You and to Me

you see
are the Land-the Sand
am the Sea.
my still waters ran deep-the moment the wind introduced You to me

I am pleased to meet You.
Your magnetism kind of reminds me of how the Sea can’t stay away from the Sand

it’s so beautiful how We blend together, and I sink in…to You…
But what’s happening to Me?

You’re always there
i feel your warmth from the sun welcoming me
thirsting for my coolness
longing for my moisture that the sun steals
from you-the Sand
who needs Me-the Sea
We never need an audience. We make our own music.

You love the way I dance
the way I make my waves to you from the wind whispering to me
And I love the way you glisten
from the sun and part of me

the wind touching Me and the sun touching You
just wants to know why
You-the Sand
and Me-the Sea
are so inseparable
so compatible-are we…

But yet, the Sea is a reminder of all that has flown from within Me…
You-the Sand
Me-the Sea
are so inseparable.
So compatible-are we?

©2000 AngelaSherice


{January 29, 2011}   ABOUT THIS BLOG SITE

Just: Angie

Doing Angie

Always…All ways.

et cetera