A Girl in the World & the World in a Girl…











{August 14, 2013}   The Kendrick La’Movement.


Regardless whether it’s silent, you’re tip-toeing, or ignoring;
we all know what’s going on: a movement was created.

If something inspires you to think, act, react,
or feel, either way-just the same-a movement was created.
After which, it is up to the mover to keep it shaking
(with, or without your permission, and with, or without
your cooperation, blessing, or participation).

But the truth is, it can’t be denied or ignored.
This is not a passing phase.
It’s a force to (now) be reckoned with [and answered to-on wax].
Its already reached the likes of:
Big Daddy Kane, Pusha T, Big K.R.I.T, Mac Miller, Joe Budden,
Just Blaze, Trinidad James, Tyga, Talib Kweli, Fabolous, Cassidy,
Wiz Khalifa, [and even former Laker’s coach Phil Jackson I might add—despite
the fact that he didn’t understand the rap context with which his
named was used, bless his heart]. I’m chuckling.

But he did it.
Who is he?
And what is “IT”
KendrickLamar_photo_Dream-Urban “He” is Kendrick Lamar-that’s who.
And “he” got our attention. But inadvertently, little did he know,
he also opened the gates for every rapper (male or female) to flood
it with flow by flowing himself on Big Sean’s “No Id” freestyle
(which included Big Sean and Jay Electronica too, by the way).

I’m not a rapper by no means, but I’m a poet and a writer-so just call me a floet-I’m cool with that.

Call me impartial, but I’ve always had a thing for [all kinds of rap] but it’s
something about listening to the sounds of the hustle and flow
of a rapper tooting their own horn about why dancing to the beat
of their drum [versus the next man’s] is where the party’s
at—just gets me excited. It reminds me of the essence and root of hip hop:
• Bravado
• Lyrics
and/or
• Storytelling—period.
(The hook or the beat didn’t matter so much).

This La’Movement by Kendrick Lamar excited me that I gave it a name.

I’m happy to hear this kind of gallantry and bravado about a rapper’s
prowess come from a rapper’s mouth DIRECTLY [and without question
about WHO he was talking about].

I don’t think it was to start beef, or even to “call out” or
challenge any [named or unnamed] rappers but rather-lyrics of true
honesty about what he feels about his desire to kick the door in-in this
game and be amongst the greats-because he feels that he too, is just as
great (and he is proving himself to be).

Why does it excite me so much?

Because if you know the history of rap, what I think will become of this
La’Movement is (even if just for a little while) it will be sort of like
that old Roxanne Shante/Real Roxanne answer to UTFO that kept spinning and
spawning raps that answered the rap before it [and on and on].

This thing though, spearheaded by Kendrick, I feel will start a movement that
will press the pause button on rap with top of the line beats and repetitive
hooks that carry the song [and end up glorifying mostly: money, “hoes,” clothes,
drinking, strip clubbing, and other indiscriminate “turn up” behavior].
This thing, here-this La’Movement, will be an exercise in having [called out
rappers as well as rappers not mentioned] step into the ring and put forth their
prowess as well (on wax).

I LOVE IT.

I feel that this verse on Big Sean’s record that was act of true passion and
honesty from Kendrick that inadvertently will end up being something in the
rap game-that will be worthy of being remarked in rap history.
This kind of thing hasn’t be done since Roxanne Shante/UTFO, you know.
It just hasn’t.

Another good thing about this is that, if you’re paying attention and know
how the rap climate fluctuates; although women have contributed to the rap game,
the foundation of what’s going to sell will ALWAYS be determined by male rap
(over female rap).

So when you have male rap dominating the game merely talking about
“money,” “hoes,” “clothes,” “clubbing,” “drinking,” etc. it presses the pause button
on the female’s ability to get in the game unless she comes in talking about something
wretched (“ratchet”), or along the lines of what the male rappers are talking about currently.
And nowadays, there aren’t too many rap females sitting it out right now, and underground on
mix tapes really trying to come in the game talking about being “hit from the back”
(in order to sell records to keep current with/along the line of what males are rapping
about right now-at this moment time). The male domination in the rap game is so strong
right now and some of the heaviest hitters and female protectors are dead and gone and
the ones that are living aren’t exactly looking to take the next rap damsel under his
wing and put her on.

Just like a woman is quick to say: this is a man’s world, the males in this lions den
of the music game have every right to say and feel the same (about stepping over into this
male dominated field): she’s got to hold her own, Yo.

With that being the case [and reality], not many female rappers sitting it out right now or
rapping underground are willing to compromise their skill and rap game respect for stepping
into a rap climate that’s singing only tunes suitable for them to twerk to and rap about, too.
So if she’s trying to sell records RIGHT NOW-in THIS rap climate; she’s going to HAVE to be
nearly as ratchet (under the guise of her “sexy”) as what these male rappers are rapping about
right now, because in THIS climate, if she comes out poppin’ about her rapping prowess-it’s
not going to be so well received (in the mainstream)…

A movement couldn’t happen until a male rapper changed his tune. And little did
Kendrick Lamar know-he did that.

This movement that Kendrick got started CAN change the game in a way that will benefit
a whole lot of people:

• it will give the rappers who are putting out “candy” (and known only FOR putting out candy)
a chance to prove they too, can step their game up
• it will give the real lyricists who [right now are putting out Hip-POP “candy”-to sell records
and stay along the lines of the rap climate] a chance to put THEIR candied mics down and do some real
spitting again (like they already can). It’ll be like exercise to them-returning home
(to the essence and roots of hip-HOP)
• and too, it will possibly RE-open that door for female rap to bomb rush the
game and talk their talk, too.

We shall see, huh?

P.S.
The Internet is a’buzz with people having laughed at @JoellOrtiz-the first to step
up and answer Kendrick (especially having not even been mentioned on Kendrick’s verse)
but know this: THAT’s Hip Hop. That’s what he was supposed to do.

When the UTFO / Roxanne movement happened, when didn’t have Twitter.
So we thought these girls stepping up to these rap dudes was all apart of an
extension of the rap. News traveled slow then. So it took YEARS for many of us to
find out that UTFO (who rapped about this girl named “Roxanne”) didn’t even KNOW
these girls answering their raps [from–as Queen Latifah coined it]: “a can of paint.”
But it took Hip Hop to another level!

So let Kendrick Lamar and all female and male rappers who dare to step up-cook, ok?

That movement was Hip Hop history.
I love Hip Hop. You love Hip Hop.
And that brand of love-deserves an encore in a new way (for more than one reason)…

DON’T JUST STARE.
SHARE THIS BLOG POSTING WITH THE SOCIAL COMMUNITIES OF
YOUR CHOOSING BY HITTING THAT “SHARE” BUTTON.
THANK YOU.
angie2004
MEET ANGELA SHERICE

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Let’s have a “Brown Sugar” [movie] moment:
“So when was the first time you fell in love with Hip-Hop?”
If you asked me to answer that, I would have to answer it two ways:
• The first time I fell in love that Hip-Hop that “popped”
• The first time I fell in love with Hip-Hop

The very first time I fell in love with Hip-Hop (that “popped”)
the lyrics blasted through my speakers:
I aint no joke, I used to let the mic smoke. Now I slam it when I’m done and make sure it’s broke…”
Then later in the song when he said: “When I’m gone [pause]…then you can joke!”
And when they slid through with another joint that went like:
Thinkin’ of a master plan…this aint nothin’ but sweat inside my hand.”
I was lit! I went crazy! I mean…I was a fool! I was totally obsessed!
That was non-other than Erik B and Rakim.

The very first time I fell in love with Hip-Hop was from being the
only girl in a house of boys. My oldest brother was the first to put us up on rap.
Let rap tell it (and it very well may be true considering when I researched the timeframe);
Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five were the originators of rap. But the very first
time I fell in love with “rap” is when my oldest brother popped in this god-awesome
filthy rap song that he could only play when my mother was good and off to work.
It was some by some cat named “Blow Fly” singing a song called:
Rap Dirty:” the speakers belted the words: “This Blow Fly the master of class. And I’m here to sock some soul to your ass.”
That’s when I first learned that you could tell a story in words where you
could see the visual and nod your head to the scene in your head and rap along with it.

Those were the two ways and beginnings of rap resonating with me.

Let’s all admit it.
Once you fall in love with Hip-Hop, it becomes your baby, and we become overprotective of it.
The stories are compelling, the beats can compel you.
The reason we love it so much is because it’s more than just “music”-it’s a subculture–a
subculture in which (because of its origin having begun of the rough streets of New York City
where the originators rapped mostly about hard times, struggle and humble beginnings); those who
come from the same feel like they have a platform to tell their story, and if you can nod your
head and dance to it; that’s even better-a bonus.

newjackcitybasketbalc court sceneThe ways that we guard Hip-Hop (especially the old-school heads) is like a
scene out of the movie “New Jack City,” when GMoney, Nino, DahdahMan and the crew were
playing basketball [on a public basketball court where it looked as if when they came
through this public court, it was shut off for anyone else to step past the gate].
It could mean murder if you tried to get in the paint without permission and proving yourself.

Keisha (the female gangster of the crew) would step to you and reach into her Houndstooth blazer as
a warning to you that you were about to get flat-blasted if you took one more step.

Nino Brown (the head gangster) would put a halt the game and send G-Money (the vice-head gangster)
over to you to pat you down before you could even state your business.

The rap game was rooted in a subculture where (because of its origin), if you stepped to the paint and
you did not look like [the originators], or sound like the stories from whence it originated, it
(the rap game) had a “Keisha”-and a “Keisha” is everybody-everybody who loves Hip-Hop is that
“Keisha” who’s going to pat you down or smoke you for daring to step into the paint should you not
identify with its origin.

KanyeWhen KANYE stepped
on the scene, I was like: “who is this cat coming into the game rapping about having a car accident
and his mouth being wired shut but he can still spit fire through the wires of his jowls? Number one-who is he,
and Number Two-why the hell do we care?”
But then he spit fire: hit after hit after hit after hit after
hit…like a madman. I (or anybody else with some sense and who knows a good rapper when they hear one) had to
put their guns down-let him through. He put his skills where his mouth is and he could not be denied. He was the
shit so bow down and let him in the paint. He’s a hog in the game.

FOOL. WHAT SECT ‘YOU CLAIMIN’?

vanilla ice_thenI think maybe the need for being patted down began with VANILLA ICE.
Good-looking dude. Masculine, square jaw-line.
Fly haircut. Hot, B-boy dancing. Catchy dance track (“Ice-Ice” Baby).
This fool just showed up in the paint and had a hit. And during play in the paint,
we patted him down enough to know that he didn’t identify with the origin enough
to stay in the paint any longer than that one hit. And if he tried-he was gonna have
to get to smokin’ on some “Keisha.” He didn’t stay around too long, and got clowned on longer
than his rap career even lasted, even ‘til today. Still a good-looking dude, who ironically does
home improvement now but still; he is the poster-child for the Keisha’s of the world guarding the door and gates of hip-hop.

One thing about the rap game is that it isn’t so much the fact that you don’t identify with its
origin[ators] being of African American descent than it is your story-your beginnings, of
which are most “accepted” when having come from struggle of some kind and even better; if you were
from the streets of New York.

mcserchWhite rappers like: MC SERCH (of the group: 3RD BASS) and SNOW (“Informer”) didn’t get clowned too bad (at least not like Vanilla Ice did).

Beastie_Boys_thenWhite rap groups like THE BEASTIE BOYS’ music was so dope (“Paul Revere,” “She’s Crafty” “Brass Monkey,” etc.) that they couldn’t be fronted on, clowned, or Keisha’d. Not to mention, they were from the streets of New York City.
Rick-RubinTheir music was so dope + compounded with the fact that they were under the wing of (then) rap mogul RICK RUBIN and Def Jam records (as was ERIC B & RAKIM); so they were bulletproof-anybody would have been a fool to try and clown The Beastie Boys. Their music (especially their first album) is timeless.

houseofpainHOUSE OF PAIN/Irish group (“Jump Around”) came through with a hit song that hit your head in such a way that you would just start wiling out. The lead was a thorough rugged dude, therefore (unlike the perception of Vanilla Ice) House of Pain didn’t seem “gimmicky,” and that song gave you such an adrenaline rush that we paid nothing else about them any attention. The beat was exciting, and the lyrics resonated with the streets enough, (especially in the song where he bluntly says: “And if your girl steps up I’m smackin’ the hoe”) so House of Pain didn’t have to meet Keisha. And that song is timeless, still today.

eminemBut when EMINEM stepped onto the scene and into the paint, he had to get patted down. Because that white boy tried to step in the paint soloin the 90’s!…(bold move). So the Keisha’s immediately thought he was about to be yet another Vanilla Ice, and this time around; we weren’t having it. We didn’t really care that he identified with the struggle in that he was from a trailer park from the D. Although his beginnings were humble (and even despite the fact that he was a Dr. Dre protégé); he still had to kick down doors to prove that he was cold as ice-not “Vanilla Ice.” No matter how hard people tried to front on him-his shit was consistently dope: Hit, and after hit, after hit, after hit, after hit. And he can spit fire something serious. He too, is a hog in the game. And whether people want to admit it or not; he shot Keisha, but she lived-and now she’s coming to pat down this Jewish pretty dude called “DRAKE”…

There are many dudes in the rap game that (upon stepping to the paint) could get right in the game, because not only was their music that good; but in addition to that, they identified with the origin[ators] of the rap game. They were magnetic to the subculture-too many to name. So without having to meet Keisha or being patted down by G-Money, they were able to get in the game without incident. If ever there is anything to be found out that didn’t line up with who they say they are; it will be found out.

drakeBut out of nowhere, stepping to the paint is this cat called “Drake.”

He got past Keisha’s gun. Next, Nino ordered:
“G-Money, pat him. Pat him down!”

The subculture’s “Keisha” heard the needle to the record scratch-and-stop at this pretty
boy with the good looks of an eighties Al B. Sure: Tall, thick body and a masculine unique voice,
but with a different slant in the rap game: Genius emotional appeal but without alienating the usual
male bravado in rap: Speaking lyrics of various kinds about their emotional detachment to women
outside of a hot night of sex, drinking and a little bit of disrespect on the rocks-rapping clever,
timely lyrics behind beats that could both rock a party and wet many-a-girl’s panties and keep ’em
hopeful-just like the next great rapper who identifies and fancies himself a thug did (and does).

baby_and_weezyThe “Drake” never presented himself as a thug; he was just Rick Rubin’d under some heavy hitters [slash] thugs in the
game with tattooed teardrops on their faces and true-to-life street backgrounds to prove it.
But just like a thug that raps about life and the streets in which he lives; Drake rapped about the life
he lives too: A little bit alcohol/some “lean” and “sticky”/clubs, girls and other hot-life shit;
thuggish things minus the thug background, life, and past.

drake_logo_name_lyricHis name is one fucking syllable: “Drake”-oh what’s in a name: How unique, masculine and rugged the sound-matching this Romeo. It dropped down on us like a ton of hard-rock bricks. Yet despite how his underground/mix tapes started out as whispers that eventually hit the scene like a rebel yell that had everybody screaming more, more, more; [unfortunately?] we learned another unique thing about him: His first name was just “Aubrey” (*crowd sigh*) and this handsome lad didn’t hail from the rough streets of a northern or southern area of the globe but rather, an un-tough good community somewhere in the comfortable terrains of a Toronto suburb, where his actual first hit was by way of an all-American television show called “Degrassi”…What say you!? (*crowd sigh*)

Despite his mounting success, we like to use those superficial,
meaningless things to build weak foundations as to why we feel its okay to try and
clown him-in denial and working overtime trying to overlook the fact that he too,
is truly a hog (not a clown) in this game, just the same…

You see… he changed the game in this game in a different way: Exclusive and by-design;
tailored to him-uniquely so. The most overlooked part about it is that nobody is going to be
able to come through Hip-Hop after him and duplicate what he did: his branding, his PR,
his rap style/lyrics, his playboy (then peel), and his appeal
(feel free to choose whichever order you wish to). His methodology baked and broke the mold.
Love it or hate it, it’s the truth.

“A guy like Drake will rap hard, sound like a tough street dude even, and come across
entirely different in real life. He’s playing a persona. He’s an actor. Phony balony.
I can’t feel that. That’s not true to hip-hop.”

said someone on a radio personality’s music blog
that I was reading
(regarding Drake and his new single “Started from the Bottom”).

No matter how much he’s contributed to the success of Hip-Hop and his own personal success;
a mere song title called: “Started from the Bottom” sent shockwaves to the “Keisha’s.”
“From the bottom?!!! Of what?!”
This, coming from a guy called Drake who’s first name is Aubrey, having come to the paint
straight out of the Toronto suburbs, startled many (well actually, those who were forced to
reckon with his five-year force but still had their eye on him waiting for whatever they
perceived to be “one false move”)…in order to flat-blast his ass.

As I explained in the beginning of this blog, my coming from and having love for the roots of
Hip-Hop myself; we have come to a point in this love of Hip-Hop to feel that if you can’t show
and prove pictures of you eating mayonnaise and sugar sandwiches, and you don’t identify with the
rap stories by the Hip-Hop originators; then you have no connection to the origin-therefore,
no right to be in Hip-Hop (especially talking about coming from a bottom).

That’s stagnant thinking.
For yourself, the subculture, andmusic.

Hey, I feel the same way about love songs. Many of the love songs “today” cannot light
a candle to love songs of years past. But if I find a good love song today, I won’t deny
its greatness, either (simply because I have an opinion on the distinct differences in love songs
of the then versus the now). I have to be sensible enough to understand that the songwriters,
the audience, and the singers themselves are experiencing “love” in a toooooootally different
way “today” than yesteryear; so a love song today, is what it is.

As times changes, classic Hip-Hop heads have to understand that this generation of Hip-Hop aint
necessarily “fighting the powers that be” but rather, fighting for and collecting more
superficial things now: swag, shine, Twitter followers, each other, notches under their belts,
and all things that come with that.
And when classic Hip-Hop heads are living in a time where good storytellers and lyricists are being
overpowered by barely understandable jargon and redundant hooks over hot beats; anyone who
isn’t “fighting the powers that be” is looking suspect and seen as a blatant disrespect to Hip-Hop.
And let their eyes and ears tell it-that’s pretty much all of them today (with the exception of classic
Hip-Hop head’s picks of “conscious rappers”).

THERE IS A DISTINCTION BETWEEN “ALL OF THEM” THAT YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE PAST IN ORDER TO SEE AND ACCEPT

Although you may not like or agree with the goings on with the change in times, you do
have to understand (and accept) that times have changed…but you also understand the difference
in simply loving Hip-Hop versus loving and knowingHip-Hop (there is a difference).

Loving and (truly knowing) Hip-Hop is being able to accept the change in times while
understanding that a good rapper today is too like yesterday’s good rapper:
A RAPPER WHO CAN TELL GOOD STORIES, AND/OR HAS THE ABILITY TO DELIVER CLEVER PUNCHLINES AND
LYRICS AND ISN’T SOLELY RELYING ON HOT PRODUCTION AND BARELY UNDERSTANDABLE HOOKS TO CARRY THEM THROUGH.
And those good rappers are going to be rapping about the changes in times “today” that may very
well be repulsive to yesterday’s times. But if you are truly a good judge of Hip-Hop, you know
the difference between a Drake and a Soulja Boy and you can be true enough to yourself to admit that
(no disrespect to Soulja Boy but there is a clear, they are in two different leagues,
and there is an obvious distinction between both their music).

For the Hip-Hop head of yesteryear and the origins of it; I know it’s hard to accept some of the
“Hip-Hop” today, I understand that-for real. And if I had it my way too, I would invent a rap
category called “Hip-Pop,” where those rappers with the basic redundant lyrics rapping over
beats so hype and hot that the beat itself is worth more than the rap [that although may rock a party nicely];
I would stick them into that Hip-Pop category so that Hip-Hop won’t be so easily disregarded
by old school Hip-Hop heads, and the new school rap lovers can understand and clearly see the distinct
differences between the two.

That’s not to say that both aren’t valuable to the rap game altogether (because they both are), but let’s
not belabor the obvious: The beauty in the beat can sometimes blind the mind in a way that undervalues a
true hot lyricist/songwriter (like the Drake’s and such) and throw ‘em all in the Soulja Boys’ type of
army (simply because they are all new school rap).

OLD SCHOOL HIP-HOP LOVERS (of it and in it) HAVE WORK TO DO, TOO: BETTER THINKING.
You can’t hate that the mainstream, other genres of music and people that disregard rap/Hip-Hop merely
some violent culture of music that breeds problem children who smoke, drink, and do drugs all day,
disrespect women, walk around with their pants hanging down to their knees, shoot at the police,
and are uneducated, crack-babies who speak broken English with a mouth filled with diamonds and ink
across their bodies who you’d be scared to meet walking past a dark alley but yet…some new jack steps
on the scene who, because he’s Jewish and has a white mother and is “only” half-black and acted on an
all-American television show, is a pretty boy, wasn’t raised in the hood and happens to speak
coherently and in complete sentences: “He’s playing a persona. He’s an actor. Phony balony
and [you] can’t feel that [because] that’s not true to hip-hop.”

Since when and where is it written that true Hip-Hop had a true “type” and “stereo-type”
(that was redeemable, or respectable, or non-threatening in the eyes of mainstream anyways)?

So why not being accepting of someone who “doesn’t fit the stereo-type” but at the same time,
can rock the mic just as good and better than some who do fit the “type” or “stereotype?”
Whether you feel that they are an act, or a persona; if their music, lyrics, and rap appeals to the
masses, they can’t be denied.

IT’S ABOUT THE MUSIC…NOT THE “TYPE” OR “STEREOTYPE”…AND OLD SCHOOL HIP-HOP HEADS HAVE TO LET GO AND ACCEPT CHANGE
Stop making up excuses to not to accept or embrace New Jacks in the City who you can clearly see
(by your very own reasons of blatant hate and disregard) have changed the game…

Acknowledging what’s right in front of you (that can’t be denied) is what “Keeping it Real” means, TOO

DON’T JUST STARE.
SHARE THIS BLOG POSTING WITH THE SOCIAL COMMUNITIES OF
YOUR CHOOSING BY HITTING THAT “SHARE” BUTTON.
THANK YOU.
angie2004
MEET ANGELA SHERICE




And so she said it… she admitted it:
“I always battle with how much do I reveal about myself.
How do I stay current? How do I stay soulful? I felt like I had
been so commercially successful but it wasn’t enough.
It’s something really stressful about having to keep up with that?

Screen-Shot-2013-01-11-at-6.57.02-PM

I’m going to get spiritual and deep for a second (before I go deeper and worldly),
by saying what I truly feel about the nature of “relevancy:”
Generally speaking, if you can part the crevices of your brain to part your
mouth to say that any human being living, breathing and walking God’s green earth is
insignificant or irrelevant; you are in dire need of a huge (and humiliating) piece
of humble pie. Because everybody in this world plays an essential part in it that too,
makes up this world and universe that we all share. If everything was for everybody
(at the same damned or blessed time), there would be nobody. And as we accept (and honor)
that there are geese and gander, Indians and Chiefs, and statues and pigeons that often
times are interchangeable (by choice, situation or circumstance) only then are we truly
humble and can respect the fact that every human being is relevant–but significant
at varying times (and situation or person-depending) sometimes, significant forever
e.g: game-changing, rule-changing, law-changing, rights-changing, life-changing.
(You get the idea)…

Rarely are things so general and “black and white” anymore (you can attest to that by having
your own choice in deciding whether you chose to use the word “current,” or “relevant”)
but the fact of the matter is that in another world: the world of industry; relevancy,
significance (or “staying current”) has a whole other importance all its own.
SOME PEOPLE’S LIVELIHOOD depends on it-regardless how relevant
[I still say they are]…as we allare, generally speaking.

Yield.
Pump your breaks for a second.

As a writer who publishes (to the public), because I’ve found that so many people are so sensitive
and quick to not weigh out anything past what completely pacifies, serves, or patronizes them

before I throw up on you-my thinking behind the nature of relevancy and significance; I feel that I have to explain
to you: my thinking, and a little bit about my writing, which will better help
you understand this essay as you read on (and prepare you for when I go “in”):

I, Angela Sherice, am a published author and realwriter of books/novels, short stories,
I write songs, blogs, poems, essays and on published (blog) articles.
And too, I am a journalist who writes (two different things).

Know that a real journalist has to be trained to think (and write)
like a real journalist (just like a real doctor or surgeon
has to be trained to practice medicine). In real journalism writing, there are
rules and secrets that you have to pay an institution in order
to know. It’s nothing you can just pick up with experience, practice, and time.

The secrets and rules are much bigger than just having the ability to write
(a book/novel, short story, song, blog, poem, essay and article).
When you are a real journalist (studying/having studied journalism only
brought to you by way of an institution); you will find that your ability to
form, edit, finagle and dazzle, or your creative prose, writing talent, skills and abilities
doesn’t even matter and holds no weight in the field of journalism.

Journalism knows that throughout your training, once you learn the laws, secrets, regulations,
and rules of the field as well as the journalist’s bible:
(APA versus MLA journalism’s grammar and style) like back of your hand in ways that a pastor
(should know) the religious bible; when you have had it drilled through your head enough that your:
• honesty

• objectivity

• aversion to cowardice

• aloofness and indifference to scorn and contempt

versus:

your personal feelings
…is what will pay you 80k a year to sit and write mere 800 to 1200-word articles 2-10 times a day.
And it’s not going to come easy and with creative writing know-how, you will definitely
learn the importance of what straight-shot, straight-shooting honesty, objectivity and the importance
of aversion to cowardice, and aloofness and indifference to scorn is to YOUR OWN LIVELIHOOD.

In considering that:
• A writer who too, is a real journalist will know how to write a journalist-styled article
(regardless how creative you may or may not be).

• A writer who too, is a real journalist will know that having not knowing the secrets
and rules of journalism can (and will cost you your 80k a year job).

• A writer who too, is a real journalist will learn that someone else’s ability to
form, edit, finagle and dazzle, or their creative prose, writing talent, skills and abilities holds
no weight and competition to true journalism writing.

• A writer who too, is a real journalist will learn that in the world of journalism, your:
Honesty, Objectivity, Aversion to Cowardice, and Aloofness and Indifference to Scorn is what will keep food on your table.
not your personal feelings about the person/subject (and not to whom the article may be about)’s personal feelings, either.

It is for the readers who will always outnumber the subject and outnumber the writer
(and the weight that both their personal feelings may carry). So if it’s not for a book or creative piece of writing,
the reader has to be respected and given a journalist-styled essay or article that is completely objective
(regardless how decorated, sexy and pretty it may make the subject look, and/or as well: how upset it may
make the subject feel)-just the same.

It’s kind of like writing-like-thinking-like-a-lawyer: Dealing with facts, in objectivity, [but/except]
with unbiased honesty to the addition (or expense) of whomever it may ruffle, offend
(or even celebrate)-it’s all one in the same thing (with a journalist).

This form a writing is not a business for cowards and equally/as well, not a business for the interjection
of the writer’s personal feelings if the writer wants to be trusted by the millions of people for knowing
that what you are bringing them is straight-up, unbiased honesty
(even to their agreement or disagreement, too).

As a writer who wishes to encompass all (that pays for my living) and entails all that which is necessary
to become a “whole” writer; in order to have an edge over the all the rest
(in order to have significance and to be necessary); I have to pay for, and learn, and rely on more
than just my being able write a book/novel, short story, song, blog, poem, essay and article. I have to pay
for, and learn, and rely on more than my natural ability to form, edit, finagle and dazzle my readers,
my creative prose, writing talent, skills and abilities-in order to be a beast and a force to be reckoned
with in this writing game. In order for me to do so my relevancy is to “stay current” on current events,
stories, situations, lifestyles, and people-my body of work, versus [it being necessary] that I show my self
or my body in order to promote or sell my work or agenda. But as we roll (and role)…with the change in times,
(for some) what’s unnecessary becomes “necessary” [so we feel, are seeing, and are experiencing]…

So in preparing you for a blog/essay with a title like:
Under the Guise of Staying “Current”: The Pressure Cooker of Industry and In-the-Street Relevancy & Significance
know this about me-Angela Sherice:
• If you want my subjectivity, personal emotions,
go buy my fiction books. I narrate them from my voice, my thoughts and my feelings.

• If you want my objectivity based upon experiences of my own, experiences of
others that I’ve observed and/or that which may be factual, truth, tried and tested;
go buy my nonfiction books.

• If you want to know my metaphysical thinking and a feeling,
go buy my astrology/personology books

• If you want to know what’s on my mind or on my heart,
feel free to peep into my social media sites like: Twitter and Facebook

• If you want to know what’s going on in my personal life,you just have to know me
personally-have (current) communication and access to me by personal phone and home

• If you want to stay abreast all things Angela Sherice, go to my website 24/7/365

• But if you want to get a dose of my complete and utter unbiased, honesty and objectivity
stick with my essay writing on my blog, or anywhere else online where I comment or write articles

Having explained all that, as a writer, I see things in ways that the average person does not.
I have to, in order for me to be able to deliver a story [to that average person] in ways that
helps them see what they missed, or even to agree (or disagree), but walk away having had something
new to think about or feel about. As a writer, that’s my only goal (and pretense).

As feeling person, I can easily blame my years of studying psychology and philosophy on
my “thinking” in ways that the average person would consider “overthinking”
(where I would consider that average person an “underthinker” in ways and areas that will be most
advantageous and beneficial for the greater later).

I cannot blame my “thinking” solely on that which I’ve studied (at institutions), because I was a
person—a human being-a feeling being; an observant, thinking, and feeling child, teenager,
and young adult way before I paid an institution to train me
how to and how to utilize
“thinking” in ways that somebody who did not pay-cannot.

angie_10thgradeAs it pertains to this essay and subject of trend, relevancy and significance in the name of
“staying current,” all my life (child-teenager-young adult, well before being “institutionalized”)
when I was met with “trend” and all things trendy, I never fell right in to it, or followed
“crowd” no matter how fun or exciting it seemed-ever. For that, I am going to blame it on the fact that
during some of the most impressionable years of my life (4 through 11 grades), I attended a school where everything
we learned about our gifts, or talent; yes, we were classically trained in but in addition (and more importantly),
what we did as individuals and how we were individually was respected and honored
myex_and friends_seniorclowning_and fun_funtimes(rather than sneered and laughed at). Monday through Friday 8:00 a.m through 3:40 p.m.,
we weren’t slaves to “trend” (despite what life was like for us at home and after those hours).

angie_senioryearhighschoolIt wasn’t until I became a senior in high school when I had to switch to a new way of life,
“brand of schooling” and socializing where being a slave to trend was transparent and apparent
magnified in that one school year than my school years: 4 to 11-free of [slaves to it] never was.
Everybody walked alike, talked alike, used the same slang, wore the same styles of clothes, liked,
and did the same things (through my eyes) like a platoon or marching band in unison-a stark raving
culture-shock of sorts [for me]. Individuality was frowned upon, sneered at, and even outcast and obvious.

th (1)So when it comes to trend and relevancy (versus significance) in the name of “staying current,”
I can clearly see the difference in someone truly grasping and being comfortable with being “different”
and free from trite and trend, versus the only “different” [their] being comfortable with is merely singing
the hook from a 2Chains song called: “I’m different.”
It’s not about looking stupid by just trying to be different.
It’s not about purposely standing on the sidelines for the sole purpose of being rebellious
(without any purpose other than to just “be different.”)
Let’s be real. Not everyone is “different,” that’s why trend is so great and overwhelming.
The majority of people of the world (especially in industries) are comfortable being apart of
the majority because it makes them feel like they are apart of something or have some purpose.
Then there are some of people of the world who still feel purposeful, without being slaves to,
and overwhelmed by trend so much so that they lose their own identity while trying to fit and stay in.

Let’s rephrase the trite, tired, and most-untried: “Step outside the box.”
How about we say it a ‘different’ way that’ll maybe make you feel it, see it, and perhaps want to try it:
“Don’t be afraid to step outside of everyone else’s box…”

I have a keen eye for trend just as much as I have a keen eye [not so much as against it] but rather,
a keen eye for ways from it in order to be able to establish an individual way-
away from the mundane (but seemingly exciting) majority…but still be able to swim with the current if
necessary-for however long [necessary]. Because of that (and all above that I just explained)-as well-I
have a keen eye for when swimming with the current in the name of staying relevant has gone too far off
into the deep end, too…

In the land of titles and labels, a person’s label or title is not as important as he is a human being of,
or to mankind-first (because like I stated in the beginning); all human beings are one in the same and
relevant in what makes this world go ‘round.

But…in the land of significance (by definition: something signified, with meaning and suggestiveness),
labels and titles are indeed important, because in a world that goes and round and around, it establishes our
uniqueness, our hard work, and/or our contribution to society and the world around us.

No matter your spiritual subscription, if you are apart of this society and world that we live in and your
lights are on (in that you are not living off the land in a third-world country), you cannot be in denial that
we all have labels and titles that we all adhere to, answer to, admire, go by, ascribe to, and respect.
If you are in denial and discount any of that to be true (and you are of and apart this Western civilization),
it is only for one of two reasons: Your money is probably affording your lifestyle and living by way of
others (who do have a label or title), or you have purposely, by some unfortunate circumstance
or decision; fallen out of the world’s rat-race and elected not to apply yourself to discover and live through,
for, or off of your own uniqueness.

We have a:
World-(people in general, mankind, human affairs, organizations, institutions etc.)

Society-(voluntary associations of person for common ends, a community bound together
by common interests and standards set by groups of people)

Industry-(branches of manufacturing, business, crafts, or arts that employ large personnel
and capital, a distinct group of productive enterprises manufacturing activity as a “whole”)

dr_dre_detoxIn the industry, titles/labels mean everything (especially for the people who’ve earned them or are branded by
way of them). The flip side to that is that as an “industry,” people can (and do) claim any title and label
they wish to. We have DJ’s and producers who are “Dr.’s” whereas a real Dr. (who trained to be doctor)
may very well have a problem with that. kendrick-lamar-dr-dre But a DJ or producer may very well feel that he “does surgery” on the
music he produces and spins. So he brands himself as a “Dr.”

spinderella (1)Real DJ’s (who worked, showed and proved over the years while professing the craft),
openly express their displeasure with th (1)dj-solange4321singers turned DJ’s overnight when the clock strikes 12.

The entertainment industry (once a closed, but slightly cracked-open door) is now wide-open since the age of the Internet.
The Internet itself is its own stand-alone “industry” of sorts. Since its invention, everybody’s a “rockstar” now.

aerosmith-steven-tyler_26Years ago, the “rockstar” title was owned by real rockstars that looked like Jagger and Steven Tyler/Aerosmith;
with a guitar in their hands, strumming many-a-girls’ dreams with their fingers. Today, you are a “rockstar” in the field
of whatever it is you do (if you, or someone else) feels you do it well.

8800112Stripping, a profession that’s been in business since way before the wide-open doors of the entertainment industry,
were merely strippers in a nightclub, bar or tavern.
Now, strippers feel they are rockstars on the level of Beyonce and the like.

wordle-infoaccess_20080725-51Bloggers and writers who write online music or entertainment news are referring to themselves as “journalists.”

terry-kennedy-skateboardProfessional skateboard competitors now have to make room for 011012-music-rappers-who-skateboard-pharrellmusic (rockstar) skateboard novices.

Clive Davis Pre-Grammy Party - ShowArtists (like rappers or singers) Rappersare referred to as “musicians.”

musicYears ago, a musician was a real musician who literally wrote music with the funny symbols-music scores,
but especially-played an instrument. That is what a “musician” is (well-was)…

doorway_to_heavenBefore the wide-open doors, the entertainment industry (arts-music and acting for example), had a basic formula for
its artists who made it through: Change your number, change your address, change your friends, limit your family,
life as you once knew it is no longer. Revamp your look, change your image, talk and walk, “don’t stop for everyone-real
plastic but [you’ll] still have fun
.” That created an illusion and air of mystery about the celebrity that gave off the
illusion of just what it was that sold them to their fans and the public.

ne-yos-screaming-fans~s600x600Screaming fans once run amok in ways that [although they do today], they scream a lil’ differently now.
Because once the moment is over; they just get online and follow these celebs/(rockstars) all around the world
in real-time. They don’t have to wait (or pay) to see them next year; they get access to them for free.

Now, with the doors wide open and those same fans having direct access to them, the mystery is gone-the
illusion is no more. Those same fans too, are able to brand themselves and give themselves any label or
title they wish to, too-and make (or disillusion) themselves feel that they too are celebrities (and rockstars),
despite the few and far between ones that may still beg to be followed or friended on social media or they’ll
kill themselves.

For the most part, they are too busy branding, doing, and being rockstars themselves. Their loyalty is not as
consistent or strong as it was before the opened industry doors and they are singing their own tune now:
“Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you.

These wide-open doors + this celebrity/rockstar unveiling of sorts, has removed that buffer of illusion that
once earned them job security (for being revered and untouchable). And the industry by which they are employed
has not comprised a new manual or locked its doors to help bring that “old thang back” for them, either.

ball-drop-nycThe industry dropped the ball.

Equation.1.aBut it found a way to increase its capital by employing and embracing various acts of
people (creative and otherwise) still, but without re-vamping its formula for many of its artists
(in the nature and land of remaining relevant)-leaving the artists (especially the women in it),
out to fend for themselves. So now, their management and machines are working overtime thinking of ways
to keep their clients relevant in ways that which unfortunately, mostly have nothing to do with
their body of work but rather: their bodies (and various other stunts revolving around sex or in
the nature of sex put in front of their work to work for them-in order to sell their work).

When an industry has found a way to stay in business and make billions by leaving the doors wide open for
mediocrity and fuckery, for people with zero training, struggle, or having sacrificed and lost anything while on
route to fruition of their dreams but instead (an exchange), are willing to stand on their heads for fame and be
paid way less than what it would cost to pay an artist/entertainer; it will create severe overcrowding to the point
where the circus acts (which are less costly to produce and pay) will stand at the forefront to serve as the
“entertainment.” This kind of overcrowding forces those who are trained and sacrificed, and fought their way to
their craft will (now) have to fight to maintain relevancy. And often times, that fight for relevancy would require
they “stand on their heads,” too.
Their hustle is now harder.

Slowly but damned sure slowly, whatever your talent and skills are, they will be put on the backburner, and mediocrity
is going to win big time (whether you like it or want to believe it or not).

Not only is it a trend of, and cheaper to produce by the industry, but it is also a trend that is embraced by millions
aspiring and subscribing to the same way in order to have, and be [rich and famous]. It’s gone viral like a virus for
which the only cure is in the hands of the industry and the Internet industry, both, whom are making billions by way of
it-so they are not going to pull any plugs, or close any doors [not just anytime soon] but ever. You are just going to
have to work around it and find other ways to stay relevant if you haven’t found a way to be significant. The door to
relevancy has been kicked down, occupied and overcrowded by the majority of winning fields of mediocrity.
Now everyone is as relevant as the common cold.

Your fight is harder when you’re smarter, or where (once upon a time) your talent and skills are what got you into
that (once) closed now wide-open door, now, you’re too much work and slowly becoming a liability of sorts.
Right now (and through to the extremely outlandish industry circus acts begin in the near future), your smarts,
your talent and your skills are a nuisance (because they need you numb and dumb now)-they have to put you on the
back burner because the industry makes more money with people untrained yet, willing to do far more than you in
order to be rich and famous. People who will have the nerve to post all down their social media pages
repeatedly [like a bad case of Tourettes]: “Hard works pays off,” not even knowing that what they feel was
“hard work” was merely the fight to beat the millions through the wide-open doors of mediocrity Tom Foolery.
They have zero a concept and understanding that all the “hard work” was what occurred while training, on route too,
sacrificing, and losing while pursuing and chasing the dream; something a slide-through on an wide-open door
could never comprehend and relate to.

So what do you do with all that?
In the land of maintaining industry relevance amongst all the overcrowding, you work around it as best you can.

Take for example, Beyonce’s Machine.

Once upon a time, I used get highly annoyed with the Beyonce’s Machine-how she would peek out with these
Diary of Anne Frank-type letters written to, for, or about something or someone currently in the news.
With the exception of if she had a CD or single out that she was either promoting or winning an award from;
it was like she spent all these years methodically ordering her steps up-up-up and away from the public and
all of a sudden, would only touch down like some force of nature to publicly letter-write or collaborate
with whomever was hot, (like Lady Gaga, Shakira, Alicia Keys etc.,). Either that, or it would be printed
somewhere that she was interested in collaborating with whomever was the New What’s Happening
(that she hadn’t gotten around to yet). I believe Adele was next up to Beyonce’s Machine’s bat.

When singer, Miguel got on the scene and it was reported that she wanted to collaborate with him-that was
like the last straw for me. It, to me, was becoming a kind royal presumptuousness or some kind of creative
masturbation of sorts-where, even if she had no project out to promote or place to appear, her Machine seemed
to play the back; waiting in the wings for the next New What’s Happening and send Beyonce out the gate for
the creative master bait like a highly decorated prestige and honor and stripe of being chosen for the next
Oprah Book Club selection–knowing the writer (rockstar) would gladly accept the offer.

Initially, it annoyed me. I used to suck my teeth.

But as a writer [and human being-first], no matter what I impulsively feel, I try and put my instant judgment
and thought about a person (or situation) aside and look at it from all four corners.

Having being well-versed with above-average understanding of the industry than does some screaming fan, that one
side of me considered that for years, I had been impressed with the fact that Beyonce managed to stay relevant all
these years even since Destiny’s Child disbanded and with what seemed like no years off, excelling and remaining
relevant (without having to take her clothes off) or jumping on the newly-evolved social media bandwagon and having
voluntarily lifted the veil of her mystery, but still being able to maintain relevancy despite all that.

JLO-jennifer-lopez-19228155-1280-960JLo’s another one.
Me and girlfriend of mine (a working actor in New York) had a secret bounty on her body for
what seemed like forever. We counted down the years that she too, has maintained relevancy without
having to take her clothes off and thus far, she’s been winning. Sure, I tried via many-a-dresses
and magazine covers. I tried. I tell my girlfriend: “The Robert Cavalli notorious green dress though!”
Friend: “Bzz. Sorry. That’s ‘fashion!’ ”
JLo is simply winning in how to play the game of maintaining relevancy (without playing and emptying herself-out).

In my eyes, considering Beyonce’s routinely disappearing into oblivion but managing to stay relevant without having to take
her clothes off, she had a one-up over JLo because (for years) she kept herself from the mess and cesspool of the
social media swamp: clothed, so I rested my guns on being annoyed with the creative master bait and handed her Machine
the award for creative genius business moves in the name of maintaining relevancy.

Then low and behold, and about a month after my understanding, the losing “Price is Right” sound-bite sounded off:
sound-bite:
GQ-Unveils-Beyonces-cover…Beyonce was in her drawers
with her tittys hanging visibly underneath a barely there t-shirt on the cover of a GQ magazine in a way
like never before in her entire career.

I’m a fair writer and journalist.
I am human. So I understood, especially after Beyonce’s honesty in expressing that even she, too, feels
the pressure [his her words] to: “stay current,” in the industry. I felt she articulated her point perfectly
and in my opinion; (especially considering her celebrity and consistent industry relevancy)…it was a big
step, decision, and some honesty for your ass.

In her words [and I quote]:
I always battle with how much do I reveal about myself. How do I stay current? How do I stay soulful?
I felt like I had been so commercially successful but it wasn’t enough. It’s something really stressful
about having to keep up with that?
[end quote]

In those few words, she articulated what countless other people in the industry do not even take the time to
consider before impulsively and publicly saying or doing [rash, crass, and brazenly stupid things] that
tend to make them look desperate for industry relevancy altogether.

Often times when you take a step back and consider and think through why you make certain moves,
you make better moves (than the majority).

In considering her talent, longevity, work ethic, and career’s success path; anyone in the same field as
she-if they were smart/had a smart machine themselves-Beyonce’s Machine should have always been a “compass”
and one to watch, despite the fact that they may, or may not be at the level of her celebrity and could make
the moves she’s made over the years. So in considering the meticulous methodical moves her Machine makes before
sending her out the gate, they had to feel that putting her in her drawers on the cover of a major
magazine was: “dire-very-necessary.”

It’s real in the field, Yo.

When it comes down to those numbers; the payroll (entourages, glam-squads, legal and creative machines and friends
and family) and others with families and mouths to feed–all having to rely on you, it’s probably a whole other
land of the unfamiliar that people like myself and anybody on the outside looking in would probably never be able to understand.

Sure, it’s easy to lack empathy and argue how unnecessary it [was] to take on some expenses that many of them could
have done without and still been glamorous. But (for those who were relevant and smooth sailing long before the
Internet explosion hit and the industry opened it’s doors so wide-open), who knew that so many
talented and worthy + untalented and less-worthy people of the world would all be able to play on the same playing
field and that mediocrity, Tom Foolery and fuckery would be winning?

It’s real in the field, Yo.

normal_womhealth_001About a month prior to being forced-fed Beyonce in her drawers, there was Kerry Washington in hers, (too).

On impulse, I was thoroughly confused-especially considering the fact that she has a starring
role on one of the highest Nielsen rated shows on television, rolling into its second season.
In addition to that, her career resume is extensive with about the only role remotely close to it
being not too far off from her posing in a magazine in her drawers would have been the movie with
Chris Rock called: “I Think I Love My Wife,” where she played an old lover of his that had come back
into his life trying to seduce him.
All things considered, the Internet industry (social media etc), and the entertainment industries doors
weren’t wide-open then, so I guess there was no reason to promote Kerry (or the movie) by having her pose
in her drawers, then. A pair of boy shorts on her on that cover would have been just as sexy, but I guess
the art director, photographer’s eyes or her handlers saw things necessary from a lens that even I still
can’t comprehend.

It’s real in the field, Yo.

Ximg667Hey, I’m no hypocrite. On my MySpace (early 2009/2010), I was over there in my drawers too…playing the game (‘cause I know the game). Jimg663
Before that, I sat over there “networking”
at a snails pace but when I put on my drawers, I hit some silly little MySpace
hottest girls/sexiest list with a note sent to me asking my
permission that I be okay with it and then my “networking” morphed speeds unexplainable
but all which had little to do with my work and agenda).
Hey…but I was “relevant” for a while! *cheesy smile and thumb up* *eye roll in head*Eimg705
Knowing the game, I may do a little bit of what’s necessary to wheel you in, but that’s not what I’m going to do to
keep you…I’m more concerned about my significance than I am temporary relevance and bullshit.
I have no entourage, legal/creative team, and glam-squad;
Bimg681so I took my pics down because it just wasn’t “necessary” (for me).
I write, my words are (supposed to be) my “image.”
You want sex, love, or something new, different and refreshing—something relevant + significant?
Crack open my books and I’ll take your mind to places you’ve never-ever been, or let us be fortunate
enough to allow me the pleasure of wanting to know and love you personally, and have you know
and love me (personally).

As a writer it is my job to disarm you-disrobe you, and unclothe myself via my words (for you)
in a scene in a book, or an entire book authored by me. Where and how I get naked or open my personal
self and world up is for people who I know I will always be “relevant” and significant to.
What I do (my craft, my art) doesn’t require that I be naked (for the world—just to be the kind of relevant
that only lasts until the next person comes along and does the same thing)…

My relevancy is in the fact that I write about relevant subjects and relevant subject matter that never
“goes out of style” (or until the next New What’s Happening comes along). How I flow, finagle the feel
and thickness in my words to tell a story, or how I teach and share my formula about a thing is all my own.
No one, I repeat: No one willing to stand on their head (or even work hard) can duplicate that,
therefore, I will always be “significant.”

You get where I’m going (the difference between relevancy -v- significance, and what’s done to secure it and keep it)?

It’s real ON the field, Yo.

In this day and age, it’s a whole new ballgame. And we’re playing baseball with hockey rules without
a good remedy on how to actually win amongst all the players on the same, leveled playing field (but we’ll have some answers by this essay’s end)…

Until then, I (and you) will be understanding, and in following the Beyonce Machine’s compass,
now Kerry (and Beyonce) get a pass-because I guess it’s all a certain kind of necessary that on the outside
looking in; when it boils down to those numbers, entourages, and payroll what has to be done in order to
stay relevant (or “stay current”)…it’s just an industry kind of something that I won’t even understand, I guess.

Because there’s: Industry.

And there’s: In-The-Streets.

drakeSo in getting down to some Industry and In-the Streets business (with regard to trend and “relevancy”),
let’s take other artists in the industry like Drakeness (a male) for example. In talking about “trend” made
“relevant”…you see…because he took it to a whole new level where like, the Beyonce’s Machine had a strategy that
I referred to as “creative masturbation;” the strategy and level that Drakeness took it to (in comparison) can be
referred to as a different kind of creative masturbation as well-that from 2008 to date: 2013, the streets
probably thought was set by him, but it wasn’t [set by him, he just took it to another level].

Somewhere in between the year of 2002-2003 (before the entertainment industry opened its doors wide-open,
and the Internet industry made various way for us to plug in real-time), Big Boi of the group “Outcast”
came out with this video for a song called: “I Like The Way You Move.”
And in this video, in the beginning and at the very end, there was this big statuesque woman in it that had this big gigantic bottom and boobs.

(We’ll get back to all of that in a sec)…

Let’s make something very clear, first.
Women (especially with any drop of “Black”/African-American decent) have had big bottoms since
the beginning of time. But because it was objectified and seen as something to be revolted by, it was
secretly considered to be repulsive or pornographic at best (no matter how firm and round).
Not even Sir-Mix-A Lot’s: “Baby Got Back”
(with all its intended purposes) made it feel okay and comfortable with being well-endowed at the backside. It being a
fun song for the backside anthem couldn’t even cut the repulsion, judgment and sneers of having one-nothing seemed to
work for the girl walking around with one-nothing.

ang97This was me in ’97.

angie97_akilphoto
I used to look forward to fall and winter just so I could wear a coat to cover my backside up.
Because back even back then, a big bottom was a shocking sight to see (as compared to it
being “relevant” and “trendy” today).

ang97akilthereelphotoThis was me after my friend (the guy that took the picture) was giggling and saying:
“Angie why is your butt so big? Can I just snap one picture right now of you,
right-there leaving?” …and I threw my coat back to catch him off-guard, but he caught the picture
(so we later found out). The joke was, when he brought the pictures over to me, we laughed about
how quick he was with the camera, and he got the shot anyways.

At any rate.
If you remember like in ‘99/2000 when JLo’s career really took off, throughout the entertainment
industry, her backside became so relevantly commercialized, that it was as if that was the first time the
entire world had ever seen or heard “tail” of a woman having a big backside.

“Industry” spills into the streets…especially back then-in 2000. Because (for entertainment)
all eyes were on them (people in the entertainment industry) versus how it is today
(the way we can plug in and do our own thing and be our own JLo’s)…

So in that regard, JLo (unintentionally) set a trend that made women like me (who were somewhat self-conscious
for having one all our lives), a little more comfortable with raising our coats and jackets up a bit higher
because by then, it became more “accepted,” and as repulsive or sneered it had gotten for you was it being said:
“Ew she’s got a big-ole JLo booty,” (no matter how much bigger your butt was) the precedent was set at “JLo Booty,”
period, sneered or revered.

Fine, we’ll take that and run with it. However we could find a way with not having to run and hide from the natural shape
of our own bodies, I was okay with it-regardless of whomever/by way of, Regardless the fact that we knew it became okay
in-the-street because industry set the precedent for it to be. In-the-street mimics industry.

Surgeons look at their work as a form of art like “Dr. Dre” looks at his work as doing surgery on music
(like I explained above…fair exchange is no robbery).

So with the JLo explosion, people were running to (licensed) surgeons in search of getting asses “like JLo.”

But when Big Boi’s video hit the scene, (unbeknownst to JLo) it took the spotlight off her
and an underground “industry” within the “industry” began; leaking its way in[to] the streets,
and a trend of a phenomenon was birthed, begin date: 2004.

unclelukeBecause Uncle Luke and countless other club owners
the world-over stopped accepting physically average strippers and wanted as close to
perfection as he could get. The streets had to find a way to get it done. So it did.

Just like Jesus was a carpenter, “in the streets” is filled with blessed carpenters, too.
Everything you can do (and afford) in the industry, a way will be found in the street.
And so that way was found…

With no care or concern about how the new breasts would look in comparison to the thickness
of the arm, or how the new hips and buttocks would look in comparison to the size of the thighs,
they just threw ‘em on and sat ‘em there, very few fit perfectly (with the thickness of the arm and thighs).
It was like an underworld all their own. The physical exaggerations were astonishing. Lean, thin, skinny,
and barely-there women, and women with bee-stings for breasts, with 4-foot ten, ninety-five to one hundred
twenty five pound frames went from looking like six-o’clock, to hour-glasses, size sixteenwillingly,
they wanted big bodies: breasts, and/or hips and backsides that you once ran for cover to hide in a
coat became a relevant trend. And with, so did “You” (in the industry, but especially in the streets).

Licensed surgeons got word of the underground backside back-shots competition and began to put liposuction
on sale to hit those corners in the front, torso and back—to smooth out the hour-glass: The underground,
in the street stars were born.

♯ ♪ ♮ ♫ ♪ ♭ ♫ “Tell Uncle Luke I’m out in Miami too.” ♯ ♪ ♮ ♫ ♪ ♭ ♫

By 2008/2009; in walks some new cat in to the industry scene going by a name called “Drake.”
He took the torch from Big Boi as if Big Boi’s contribution and credit to the culture never
was-by taking it to a whole new level where, if Big Boi and any other industry cats dipped off
with these dames, Drakeness made it no secret that if they (the industry dudes) didn’t, she
(the dame) will, and well, he did…and so began his own brand of “creative masturbation” that
set the industry and the underground in the street a new high (and standard).

Drakeness’ timing (and strategy) was perfect. You see, where before him, you may have heard
tell of these industry dudes dipping off with these video vixens, and strippers and such;
but you didn’t actually see it. The Internet hadn’t opened itself up to the world like that (then),
so the dames had no outlet to tell or confirm it, so you just didn’t know if the rumors were true
unless the dame did something extremely grimey and desperate and it made the news.

When Drakeness got on the scene, he openly dipped with them, made them video vixens, got photo’d
with them-so much so that it all attached itself to his image like a magnet. Because of,
he became the hottest thing poppin,’ in the industry. Luckily he had twice the hottest in his music,
all of which everybody could relate to it was a universal windstorm and his good looks and talent
could not be denied. So with all that attached to his persona, that made him a force to be reckoned
with-then everybody wanted [to get on] a record with him.

It was genius-all of it.

In every way, he did what pretty much every artist has a rap line saying in some mixtape never
heard or out: “[I’m gonna] change the game.” Drake really did do that.
Had Big Boi or any other rapper (back then) would have tried this same strategy, it would not
have worked for them like it’s worked for Drakeness, because now that the Internet is wide-open,
these same dames are “branding” themselves in dramatic cases of show and tell in order to stretch
their fifteen minutes of fame while in the process-working for him [it is].

No harm, no foul for anybody.

As an artist, Drake’s brand of “creative masturbation” doesn’t make him any more an opportunist
than Beyonce’s Machine’s brand of “creative masturbation:” (tapping the hottest or up and coming
artist out, to do a collaborative effort with).

An “opportunist” is someone who sees something they want, or sees an opportunity in something
they can gain from you yet, has nothing that would be of benefit or opportunity
for you, so, they are not opportunists, they seize good opportunities that could work
quite well in the long run in the land of-not just maintaining relevancy-but solidifying
significance; the greater later (that really matters).

In this day and time especially, whatever you do to keep up with (and do just like everyone else)
it only grants a temporary kind of relevancy that you have to keep chasing and fighting through
the crowd to maintain-sometimes to the point of making yourself look desperate, especially if
(like I explained in the “I’m different” passage up top), it’s no different than what everyone else is
doing and it’s not your own signature template. That creates “significance.”

Both Drake’s and Beyonce’s Machines brand of the creative master bait affords everybody
involved to, too, increase their own popularity and income (just the same), those are examples
of the unusual-the untypical (signature moves).

ang2004
So, instead of sucking my teeth at Beyonce’s strategy all these years, I began to understand (when, as a writer/journalist) looking at the
big picture from all four corners (versus my personal judgment)…

As an artist, in order to not just “be relevant,” but to be significant; you have to be creative outside of your craft [in ways that what might be normal for you]
but to the disapproval, judgment, and scorn of other people. Everybody’s not going to understand you, share your enthusiasm, or see your vision…

Just as I originally disregarded The Beyonce Machine’s brand of the creative master bait as something too
regal, royal, assuming, and presumptuous; some people in the industry and in the street disregard Mr. Drake’s
fascination with the late Aaliyah (RIP) as something out of this world and way over too many of our head to
comprehend as anything less than normal. But in thinking in four corner’s (like I did with Beyonce)…I can’t
question his true sincerity and interest in writing the songs in her memory any more than The Beyonce Machine’s
true sincerity and interest is in the artists that she has already, and wishes to collaborate with who (although may be alive)
still just so happens to be hot and The New What’s Happening.

Hey, I wrote the book on Scorpio Scorpio_page174and all other 11 signs of the zodiac and could quite easily lend my understanding
to the [astrological belief] that all Scorpio all have a dark side in which death (to them) is “life” and
regeneration-they’re not as put off by it as the rest of us. scorpio_page175They can be dark, intense, cold and out of this world as,
Pluto (the planet the farther in distance from the sun) is Scorpio’s planet.

In trying to make light of what we may not see, it can go on and on.

So whether it be it with Beyonce or Mr. Drake, I rest my guns [on what it is we may not understand, but judge]
in the industry, or out here in the street…

Any rate.

The facts of all these matters are these things:

The entertainment industry is never-ever going to be the way it was, and its doors are
going to remain wide open for any circus act or person willing to stand on its head the longest for
fame and riches-especially for nothing [doing, or having done].

The Internet industry is never going to pull its plug away from civilian life and put it back into
the hands of the military specifically-ever again-so many people that did not have to work, show,
and prove in order to get through doors that were once closed, now only have to press “log in” to get in.

In a world where upon glance and instant gratification, nothing’s left to the imagination, and because of,
less of our very own imaginations, too, will be used (if we’re not conscious of it).

Have fun. Live a little…no-live a lot, but still pay attention what’s going on around you.
You can play the game, but to be on top of you, you do have to be on top of what’s
going on around you.

The numbers and the verbiage that you log onto and involve yourself in every single day
(if you’re not built for it or got a weak mind and not on top of it) will do a number on your
self-esteem and confidence-meanwhile many other numbers (the You Tubes, Twitters, Facebooks etc.
that you can buy to make yourself look important) is all a subconscious psychology being played
on many hearts, minds and lives that don’t even understand.

For millions of people, the way that we socialize is the most grandiose life and attention in
life they have ever gotten. And while (speaking from an understanding heart) that may be good for a
temporary kind of self-esteem booster; a lot of that verbiage that we read and take heed
(about “who I am,” “what I got,” “what I do” and “what I can do for, or better than you”)
may, or may not even be true.

But every single day that we are participants of it (but not conscious of the psychology behind it all),
we collect: joy, anger, bitterness, hurt, envy, hatred, pain, but for many… nobody has to know the real
deal (about how we’re feeling, thinking, doing or being) once we log off.

In being on top of it (and aware), you have to look at this matrix a little bit like “The Wiz,” where
towards the end, all this time Dorothy (played Diana Ross) and her friends where on this long excursion
and being lead by this big shiny powerful voice and force while in search of:
{courage} for the lion
a {heart} for the tin man
a {brain} for the scarecrow
a return {home} for Dorothy and Toto.
But when they finally found the Wiz (played by Richard Pryor) he was no more than a scrawny man in his pajamas;
screaming, commanding, luring, and leading from behind a big silver mask sleeping in a cold warehouse on a cot.

Have courage.
Use your heart.
Use your brain.
Be your own Wiz.

Pay attention.
We are all chronic exhibitionists, narcissists, and voyeurs where each of us would say our level of
exhibitionism, narcissism and voyeurism is as different as one sin is from the next yet, it’s all the same-no matter
how much or to what extent.

Everybody’s being conditioned to peel and reveal or “be killed” (be irrelevant and oblivious).

NOTHING IS SACRED ANYMORE.

Whether you are industry or in the street, we are being entertained by watching actual brain surgeries,
vaginal births of strange women we don’t even know, and cameras following people (we know of, and don’t know)
on their daily activities and goings on from the day and into the night.

WE’RE EXHIBITIONISTS.

To an unconsciously and sullen extent, we are immune to people’s emotions in ways that we once
weren’t-all thanks due to our overwhelming amount and access to voyeuring varying emotions for
“entertainment.” We don’t truly feel deeply as we (publicly) claim to, because our attention
spans are shrinking. In our public and our private lives we hold this one fact to be evident:
once out of sight, is out of mind. Of all that we are not aware of about this whole subconscious
psychology that I am speaking of, we are very aware of that one fact, so we keep our own
narcissism and exhibitionism to the forefront of our thinking and being. Seeing to it that we are
not out of sight-out of mind’s ourselves.

WE’RE NARCISSISTS.

What was once private about our ills and sicknesses would at one time be covered by a short
explanation stating “he/she’s” on leave. Now, we bring the whole camera crew into the doctor’s room
to listen to our diagnosis,’ and watch glimpses of our doctor-patient rapport. From sun up to sun down,
we send pictures of our every step and process out for the world to see.

TRYING TO GET TO THE “WIZ”.

We wake up in the morning and greet say “good morning” a world of people who don’t even know us even
before we go greet and say good morning to people who do know and love us sleeping right next to us or in the
next room-people in our own private lives who would kill to have a call or text from us to merely say:
“good morning” to them.

WE’RE VOYEURS.

People from our own [past and] private lives don’t quite know how to look you straight in the face or how
to act around you after bumping into you at the grocery store. Or at last seeing, or talking to you was all
laughs, hugs, and smiles to now cutting their eyes at you from catching feelings about your open sesame and
writing on walls-all things having nothing to do with them. They aren’t even apart of your life
right now to even have the right to pissed but insist on claiming to be one of the last Mohicans with
no interest or use for social media yet, hiding behind bogus pages to keep up with you [and so you discover]
upset themselves in this matrix of trying to figure out to delve or not to delve (from behind the fake-page life).

NOBODY’S EXEMPT.

Whether you hide and peek, or you’re out there; nobody’s “sin” is better or worse than the next.

THERE’S NO TURNING BACK. WE’RE IN THIS “LOVE” TOGETHER.

Whether we hide and peek, or we open sesame; we can’t deny the fact that all of that those scenario examples have
conditioned us into participating in it being okay for us to expose ourselves in ways that ten years ago was
unacceptable, too much information, and improper.

It’s acceptable now.
And whether it be: Industry or In the Streets, you had better embrace the exhibitionist, narcissist, and voyeur
in you if you “wish to be relevant” and don’t want to slip into oblivion huh?

No matter how hard we insist, fighting it will make us the minority. And while the average person in the street
working a regular 9-5 job can elect to do with or without it, someone in the industry (typically) does not
have that option; relevancy versus slipping into oblivion can make or break their career. When they’re trying to
keep up with all that’s made its way through those wide-open doors, differentiating significance from relevance
not important, it’s all one in the same thing considering the time with which they are working with, they don’t
have time to play around with seeing that true or through.

The sand in the hour-glass of that twenty-four hour, seven-day-a-week, three-hundred sixty-five day per year
real-time lifestyle moved far too fast even for The Beyonce Machine such that the genius creative master bait
and strategy that even I had grown to respect and admire ang2004 (2)could not fight.
So she let the pressure to “stay current”-do what it will do to anybody who wants (or feels the need) to stay relevant:
Strip down to exposing not just the heart, life and mind; but the body too.

In this blog essay, we’re now past Kerry and Beyonce’s panties pics, we’re now more concerned with the fact that
the conditioning that we have put ourselves in, we somehow feel that this woman must now show us her fallopian
tubes? …just to prove to us whether or not she really birthed a child-who to date, is walking?
Are we serious?
What business is that of ours when she didn’t come into the industry as a “professional baby breeder,”
she came into this industry as a phenomenal singer and performer and that’s not good enough “entertainment” anymore?

“We wanna see you show yourself from behind the glitz and glamour, take off all your makeup and go barefaced for us!”

Screen-Shot-2013-01-11-at-6.52.38-PM“Take a picture of your bare pregnant belly!”

o-BEYONCE-BLUE-IVY-SONOGRAM-570Show us sonogram proof of a baby ever being in your belly!

Beyonce Winning 6 Grammy Awards
No one who’s worked hard all these years with a proven hustle and grind track record, with a paper + awards and
accolade trail have to resort to doing things the antithesis of what her career is in order to “stay current.”

Granted, there’s no one putting a gun to her head and forcing her to expose herself so wide-open as such,
but her doing so is a direct reaction to the extremes of stripping down body, soul and mind, to an demographic
of people who, in the majority (of that demographic) know, or understand nothing about
grass-roots, struggle, workhorse grind, and hustle-one bit past plugging into a
computer, racking up, buying, and begging for followers and friends 24/7/365–(typically) not
for the sake of building on online “fan” base (that began) before the industry open-gate and Internet.
There is a stark-raving difference in that particular demographic that I am speaking about, and it’s not a
particular age demographic either. It’s as wide as open as 8 to 80.

When (throughout this essay) I speak about “slide-throughs”[having come through the now, wide-open industry
doors]-that is who I am talking about-the ones who didn’t dream and pursue the dream until after
racking up an audience and attention for absolutely nothing (but attention).

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with anyone waking up one day and deciding to pursue a dream.
We all need a dream to make this world go ‘round. But there is a problem (with that demographic)
for dreaming AFTER then attention—because it began with the WRONG INTENTION called: ATTENTION
(which means the illusion of fame (alone) is the only thing that lit the fire-not the dream
(and especially) the desire and motivation to work and watch the dream build into and manifest
(from out of the seat of the chair and merely plugging in).

The Beyonce’s of the industry, her “machine,” (and other women who have no other way than to
strip down and expose themselves to the emotional and mental core in order to maintain relevancy) have
to understand the subconscious psychology behind that demographic as well (which multiplies by the thousands
per day I might add). They are first entertained by the ways that the entertainment industry has found a
new way to make money: by opening its doors to talent television programming by which grass-roots, struggle,
workhorse grind, and hustle is not a requirement, but rather-if you’re willing to take a number and stand in a long line.

Although for all these types of programs, having talent is (typically) strictly enforced, it still
conditions this [8-80] demographic into thinking that all that’s required to be rich and famous is to
be famous, first (via social media rack-ups), then stand in a long hot line, win a contest, and voila! The dream is real.
To them, any emotional, domestric, or financial struggles and woes are equal to what the grass-roots, struggle,
workhorse grind, and hustle was (for somebody who sweat blood, sweat and tears for years) to make their dream real.

So that demographic’s understanding of the Beyonce’s of the world is thin. They can’t relate.
And: THEY DON’T RESPECT IT. They don’t know how to. All that matters to them is the destination-not the journey.
And when they + the Beyonce’s are at the same destination (+ they may be able to sing and perform almost as good or
just as well); they could give two fux about a Beyonce grass-roots, struggle, workhorse grind, and hustle.
More and more, they (+ their demographic and following) are pushing the Beyonce’s of the world-out.
The industry is dropping the ball because that demographic is much cheaper to groom, produce, and
maintain (than the Beyonce’s and their “machines”). When that happens, the Beyonce’s are forced to go
bare-souled, because their mics are slowly becoming x-factors themselves, while the singing talent shows like
“The X-Factor” courts and embraces that demographic to bring them right through those industry wide-open doors
by the droves-to entertain that rapidly multiplying demographic of an audience which (already-right now)
is leaving the Beyonce’s of the industry to fight to maintain relevancy.

Additionally, when the entertainment industry saw how profitable it was to entertain the world
(all of us in addition to that new rapidly growing demographic)-igniting our inner voyeur by
watching the lives of other people; the same thing that’s happening with the Beyonce’s of the world is
happening with the Kerry Washington’s of the world (actors with proven grass-roots, struggle,
workhorse grind, and hustle). The Kerry Washington’s (too) now they have to compete with that same
demographic as the “Nene’s” of the entertainment industry.
NeneKimFight Nene (who, of all the other reality show celebs who screamed, hair-pulled) fought the better fight,
so now she does weekly network television (like Kerry Washing does ironically) on a show called
NeneNewNormal
“The New Normal,” which, (ironically-like I just explained about “The X-Factor”) is
about to be the new normal: reality show celebs washing out the Kerry Washington’s-slowly but
surely-taking on roles that trained actors have struggled, hustled, and grinded for years before
this reality show craze because the entertainment industry is heavily courting and embracing this
new brand of “actors”/[acting out] as the “new normal” and they are getting real acting work
(of the Kerry Washington kind).

Nene
Can’t hate on her, it aint her fault-she’s getting in where it’s wide-open and she fit in,
and where the industry courts, embraces and will forever keep her in. Right now, in this day
and time (and forever going forward) she (and singing instant-stars) are of a kind of value to
industry heads that the people in the industry once were (before this new demographic/new world industry).
Like it or not, she, and this IS the new normal…and will continue to be even more than you could have ever
imagined within the next few years. These instant-stars are about to get that work (instantly).
They come cheaper. That’s the nature of “industry” it’s a wash and recycle.

As that rapidly growing demographic of an audience (too) embraces all this, they are conditioned
to think that fame and riches is as easy as ones willingness to stand in line and on his/her head
the longest. They are not being conditioned to understand the long-lasting value of
grass-roots, struggle, workhorse grind, and hustle that leads to a kind of significance
that will forever keep one relevant-not just for a moment in time.

Everything is so instantly gratifying, accessible, easy, and number-driven; a tool being
used as the determining factor as to whether or not anybody is “normal” or an “x-factor.”
They run around buying, begging, collecting followers, and reciprocating follow backs as a
strategy to wait a while then sit back to methodically delete thousands upon thousands whom
they hope won’t notice, so that they can looking important with a follow back ratio of 10 to 1
(as compared to the thousands upon thousands now following them). It’s insane. That is
a whole lot of work and effort for keeping up appearances. Many who are industry wide open door
slide-throughs who decided to be “somebody” after courting attention first-do this, but a great
majority who (too) play that grab and smash game, won’t even be online promoting a product or
service but rather, just working hard on being Internet famous and will have to nerve to
consider winning an argument of their importance and relevancy by the fact that they have more
followers than you.

They have no idea business sense, or savvy enough to understand that a number count on a
social media page is not an indicator of true interest in you
(what your agenda, product or service is), or you specifically-not even for celebrities.
Most everybody following you is pretty much hustling, promoting, trying to be
Internet famous, famous for being famous, rich and famous, or promoting their own agenda.
A very small percentage of a total follower count is really actually paying any of us specific
and undivided attention.

Until Twitter turns over the number of people that either watch you under lists, and lists they
make private-of those who get your automatic/real-time Tweets by text; you won’t ever really know who is
truly there for you to promote or buy your agenda, product or service (or truly interested).
That’s Twitter’s lil’ secret, and they offer that text function for reasons bigger than promoting
Twitter-they are smart enough to know that even as big as Twitter is, the entire nook and crannies
of the world is not going to subscribe to a Twitter account but will be forced to keep Twitter
in their good-graces while (secretly) keeping up with Twitter’s subscribers.

Twitter knows that-that function is even more significant than a blue verified check mark.
Those are offered by Twitter automatically to the very well known
brands (people, products or services), the rest have to request ask (or beg) for them after proving
their brand association and affiliation. Not even a blue verified check mark proves
significance-just your being relevant to an association or affiliation of a brand, product or service,
even if you are a single entity of such. Only Twitter really knows who’s shit is
really popping off where specific undivided interest in any person logging on,
is concerned (and that’s privately and for them to know only).

I know that’s too much thinking for a superficial thinking person, and especially for somebody
whose ego is controlled and run by surface numbers and things, but it’s the truth.
And it’s that same superficial [surface rather than beneath the surface and bigger picture thinking],
that’s pumping ego’s and causing false bravado, senses of self-importance, and shaping the minds
[of especially] that same demographic of people who are apart of this new world industry
that is being built and audienced right over the heads of many.

Many people have no idea the business sense, or savvy enough to know that your true
indicator of interest in you, your agenda, and in what you’re selling or promoting has to be
gauged by way of currency numbers and/or charts and graphs that you gather from
central location(s) where you, and all things that you sell, give, or are about-is located
(e.g, a personal website, personal blog site/pages etc.,)

#ARTISTBUSINESSTIP101:
Sitting around poppin’ prowess for social media and Twitter follower ticks without
any other area (currency/charts/graphs) by which to gauge personal interest in you
TOO and what YOUR agenda is TOO, is hustling backwards!
If you truly feel that who you are + what you have is of any value, then you
first value your time + what you share+ with whom you share it!
And if you are frequenting the same places online daily-pumping prowess &
gallantry and have no way of finding out how or ifit’s working for you-too-you’re
not a good beginner business and you do not value yourself or your product/services!
You’re caught up in the “give me your time, all, and everything matrix and burn your own
value and boundaries”
trap!
If you cannot gauge, do not gauge, or have a way of gauging what your numbers are elsewhere,
then do understand, and be ok with just “wanting to be popular” (or a doormat-with anything value
going one way: opposite-you).
Business and equal opportunism is a SHARED VALUE!
And you have no way of gauging your swing of the pendulum’s value and opportunity if you have no way
of checking numbers that you personally can see GROWING (or at bare minimum-maintaining), by way of those
same follower’s interest in you off Twitter and Facebook etc.!
If they really have true interest in what you are selling or saying,
they are going to come pay you off Twitter’s and/or come see you off and away from the Twitter’s and Facebook’s.
But how would you know by only counting “follower” and “friend” counts? Other than knowing, you are merely
twerkin’ for Twitter. If you have no other way of gauging; humbly give yourself a modest count of only about
a maximum10% of your “friends” and “followers” really riding with you, supporting you, and paying you some attention
(whether you are a celebrity or not, whether you have 100 followers and friends or 1 million).
You’re either twerkin’ for the Twitter’s etc., or they are working for you. But you won’t know unless
you really know!

Chasing these social media page numbers (only) is like chasing pavement and counting on,
reacting [out] to, and being driven by a false sense of popularity and solidarity that
isn’t really all real.

It’s all an illusion because people love to hang on to the surface meanings of all things trite like:
“numbers don’t lie.” Well they don’t lie-when you control, and are in the know about each and
every specific/undivided interest in you (currency/charts/graphs).
But social media like Facebook and Twitter knows each and every
personal interest in you-not you. They know who’s clicking to see you, and how often, they know who’s
clocking you privately and especially from distances-they know-not you.

The illusion of all this, and this numbers game is simply not real. And unfortunately, this new world
order and new world industry has a lot of people walking around it disillusioned with false bravado, false
senses of self-importance, or clouded senses of low self esteem and self-worth.
–If unveiling the reality behind all this upset you, then you probably walked around (and online) with a
false sense of self-importance and you needed this HUMBLING REALITY CHECK.
Nothing should humble you like a relative truth that is, if you’re truly a humble person.
–If this information gave you a little bit of life and wind beneath your wings, then you’ve probably been
walking around (and online) giving more worth and importance to other things and people than yourself and more
than you should have [been doing].
–If you weren’t moved either way by those two ways, then, like me-you’re not clouded or misguided what’s being
presented to you: the reality of this new world order and industry is very clear and you know how to just play
(or recognize) the game (either way).

Most people don’t know the difference or these realities and what’s going on around and in front of their faces
(industry and in the streets), so Relevancy and Significance and everything being done to secure relevancy is
at an all-time high.

What is real though is ten years ago, fans weren’t involved in their favorite artist’s
numbers down to the literal decimal point like we are today-only where on the charts they were placed.
Now, music affiliated sites and other entertainment business sites, and affiliates report numbers to the
public and fans as if their fans are on their payroll. Some of these numbers are just-none of the
public’s business-it’s not necessary.

Ten years ago, actors weren’t begging fans to make sure they go see their movies during the second
[but especially] first week out like do or die and their lives depended on it.

Those are obvious indicators about big interactive changes in time that’s affecting (and changing):
people and the industry, and opening a New World Industry within an industry that OLD industry cannot
compete with, and weren’t prepared for. That’s why there is a fight to stay “relevant.” All these number
illusions on every social media app you download or subscribe to, all this impromptu talent instant-stardom
and impromptu t.v is the beginning of a new-win industry that’s washing and recycling people and careers.

The subconscious psychology behind all this number-chasing and something for nothing affects the art/craft;
it devalues and undermines the importance of significance over relevance.

It affects the art/craft because that concept and belief that “all things free is for promotion” and helps
you “stay relevant,” works. Yes, it works (and is very necessary) for the “up and coming” or other people
who aren’t well-known as yet. They have have to open themselves up a little more than the well-known
artist in ways that the well-known artist can be quickly devalued for doing.

As a writer/book author, when I first got online (2009), it baffled me how many novice/unknown writers would
post a few short or lengthy excerpts from their book and think that-that, and a few slick-talking, or charming
Facebook status posts [along with the assist of countless friends, families, co-workers, homies, and a few
real reader reviews listed on an Amazon page] would be enough to sell somebody on their book.

It’s a strategy to be considered for everything in the industry-especially this New World Industry.
In this life of instant gratification, the Internet (and all its distractions) reading a book is not
necessarily at the top of a lot of people’s priority (the way it was before the Internet), so,
especially as a writer book author; you are going to have to open yourself up to more than biased homies
and social media popularity. In this New World Industry, the strategy in being an unknown writer is to
understand that that having 500 friends, families, co-workers, homies, and [+ even a few] real
reader reviews listed on an Amazon page is not as valuable to the eyes of this New World Industry
than one solid review from someone well-known/famous or a magazine/publication known the world over.
It adds “value” to you and [assumes the notion that] your work is “relevant.”

As a writer, let me preference what I am about to say by saying something about what I notice online:
This New World Internet Industry replicates novice writers with online egos bigger than
Toni Morrison has achieved success. If you’re going to have an ego or over the top confidence
about anything, at least let it be over your confidence in your work-NOT that you think you’re
so great that you are stingy with letting your readers read lengthy excerpts-lengthy enough to:
-understand the story (to see if they want to buy it)
-like/learn your writing style

Putting your slickest paragraphs out only for a reader to buy and find they don’t like the
work is like suicide. You’re better off letting them read enough of you and turn away from
you than to have them spend money and find out by surprise!

UNKNOWN WRITERS CANNOT BE STINGY WITH SHARING THEIR WORK WITH READERS! WITHOUT THEM, YOU ARE
NOTHING!

Unknown, novice writers HATE to hear something like this tip:
As an unknown, your value and relevance is your sole responsibility, and you will quickly
learn that to build your brand, add value to and to establish where you are relevant to the market,
you are going to have to give away writing-not necessarily whole books-but you are going to have
to open your pages a little bit wider to give people the chance to see if you’re worth their
shrinking attention span (by way of your website, longer excerpts, blog etc.). If you are a real
writer, you’re not afraid to open yourself up a little wider because life is an every day thing, and in
order for you to write, you have to live the life of a writer rather than a writer trying to live life.
And if you are living the life of a writer, every waking day should give you something to feel about,
think about, and write about, so as you do, you will not be afraid to open yourself up to more because
there really should be more where than came from. (Talking shit on Twitter doesn’t count.
For a writer, Twitter is merely an exercise in practicing brevity and specificity: to say what you need
to say in 140 words or less-and good for learning sentence structuring. A writer thinking that talking
slick on Twitter and Facebook is enough to make a reader want to go and buy a whole book from an unknown,
is badly mistaken. People are typically online to entertain, be charming, and be entertained-not in
search of deciding if they are going to buy a book from you-some unknown writer).
Relying on retweets, likes, and comments does not produce relevancy as an author. As an unknown/not famous,
when you are on these social media sites, to them-you are-in the same social media boatas them.
That’s the problem with many novice authors who hang on social media and are too New World Industry minded…
You look up-and they’ve been sitting on social media talking a bunch of shit and no books written in 4/5
years since you first seen them. They get Twitter & Facebook minded and feel famous and relevant over retweets,
“likes,” and comments. AS THIS NEW WORLD INDUSTRY IS SHOWING YOU, YES, THERE MAY BE SHORT-CUTS TO “FAME,”
BUT THERE ARE NO SHORT-CUTS TO SIGNIFICANCE AND BEING RESPECTED FOR A CRAFT. DON’T FOOL YOURSELF.

The opposite is true for a “celebrity author.” The friends, families, colleagues, homies, and real reader
reviews listed on an Amazon page are very valuable to them-because we expect their fellow
celebrity colleagues and well-known publications to post reviews. They have either earned the right to not
have to give away so much, or their celebrity has earned them a level of relevancy that their name would
sell more than the unknown writer, alone-on their name only; that’s their advantage.

But for music, it’s an entirely different ballgame altogether and this is where it baffles me the most-how
the music industry has not changed with the times in order to keep up with the times. It thinks that
because iTunes will allow fans to buy one $1.29 song from a 16-song, song list off their CD, the artist have
a Twitter and Facebook account and there are countless online celebrity gossip blogs selecting them at whim to
gossip about them–that is “keeping up.” Oh nooooooooo, it’s like this:
TakeTwo
…..
When I speak about Industry and Infrastructure, I get very detailed (as you just read).
Right now, we are at a point in this blog where the rest can be explained and read HERE:

~~~~~~~~~

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angie2004
MEET ANGELA SHERICE



{January 2, 2013}   Swinging, Sex, Soul-Ties & Lives

The title of the blog screamed out at me…It was about a threesome that a woman had, that ruined her life.
Man and Two Women in Bed Together
As a person who has quite an opinion about sex and especially subjects like
swinging and threesomes and such, I merely yawned and placed my fingers on the
A-S-D-F and J-K-L keys and began to read the blog-prepared to respond.
But some ways into it, my hands backed off my keys because thisparticular
subject about a threesome had such a strange twist to it that it felt like the
tips of my fingers got burned.

To summarize what it was about, a woman wrote in to the site to ask her for
advice about she and her fiancé making a decision to spice it up in the bedroom
by inviting another woman to join in the festivities.
Well, the woman selected another woman with whom she had a [previous] coworker
relationship with and eventually the three of them “got it poppin.’”

The details of the threesome were that it was awesome, everybody had a great time
and it was pretty much better than expected.
Cool.

Thumbs up.

Alright.

The twist was that the invited guest called with news of another unexpected
guest that would be apart of all their lives: she conceived.
With this news, the soon-to-be wife is a bit taken aback because the fiancé has an
“oh well” attitude about it and doesn’t seem to be as upset about it [as she is].
What this trio plans to do about this baby is not what the subject of what this
blog is about so I’ll end the details of all that-right there, so that I can get to the
point of this blog.

I write about situations like this in a book that I am writing, in the last chapter called
The Secret To Him Not Cheating On You & Making it Last Happily Ever After,”
where in it-I go into some pretty explicit and atypical details about what I strongly
feel is the “remedy” for infidelity and keeping the sex in the relationship spicy.
Spicy with a kind of variety that plays on the male mind such that, if practiced enough,
it will make cheating an “awkward” thing because (unlike) in regular “cheating,” the thrill
is that it’s done in private and the wife or fiancé does not know.

threesomeBut with my method, whether the cheating was already done
(or better if spearheaded at the thought of), my suggestion is that the couple “feast”
off the other person with whom the cheating was done with or was about to happen with.
And by “feasting” I blatantly mean, bring her (or him) into the bedroom and share him (or her)
in between the two of you during foreplay or during actual sex. And too, if during your pillow-talk
and closeness, you, (or he) reveal (or discover) that there’s a little sexual spark lit somewhere
deep for the others old flame, feasting on that (too) will put that fire out
(how so, we’ll explain shortly).

This “feasting” exercise is so atypical and mental that it could very well bring out all
kinds of emotions between the two of you that [sexually and emotionally] you probably
didn’t even know was there (or had it in you to be brought out in you in this way).

In this remedy that I invented (and swear by) called RPC: Reverse Psychology Cheating
(how it came about is detailed in the chapter as well) but, it is such that in order
for it to work, the woman has to be strong enough to be able to handle the exercises
that I suggest, and the man has to be willing to share (his mind) with his woman.
And vice versa.
We’ll get back to that shortly.

But back to the subject of this blog.

My thinking about SEX is this:
When we have sex with people, we create “Soul Ties” with them regardless if it
was relationship or even a one-stand stand.

The emotional or mental aspect (or lack thereof) involved in the act of having sex
is not so much the “Soul Tie” as is the fact that–of this entire universe and the
billions of people in it, you and one other person have shared with one another;
apart of yourselves that billions of other people in the universe have not
(with one another).

So a “Soul Tie” has been created at a different level of connecting (our spiritual centers)
than we all are connected (together) in this universe. Our “spiritual centers” are the private
parts of us that responsible for making (penis) and giving life (vagina).

No matter the attachment, we connect with a kiss because the power of life and death too,
is in the tongue.

So no matter the degree of emotion or attachment (or not), “billions” of people are not going
to be able to kiss you or have sex with you, and billions of people are not going to be able
to kiss and have sex with that other person, but some one (or however many) did.
But it certainly will not ever be billions.
That is your soul/spiritual “tie” (connection).

Having said that, when we are in a relationship by which (to both our understandings) we are in
one of monogamy, the fact is: a bond is/has been created. As we consummate, we often times contemplate
various ways that we can keep the intimacy such that our lover will be fulfilled enough so as to not
step out of the relationship (and break the bond).

What happens is, some couples (whether they want to admit it or not) get bored-intimately.
And the intimacy becomes routine, to sometimes dull and done out of habit or duty [so as to “show up”
in the relationship and let that role serve as our “expression” in the understanding and agreeing that
“I too, am apart of this relationship.” ]

Sometimes, when we get bored (and give it a fancy name called “adventurous”), we like to try
kinky and unusual things. But when those things involve inviting another spirit into the bedroom
(with our bond), we’ve given an invite to create a Soul-Tie (unnecessarily).
And that’s when “spirits” awaken.

When a bond is created, although threesomes (and swinging) can be sexually exciting (while in the act),
those ties mixed with that bond create an energy of some kind.

If a man allows another man to have sex with his woman, or the woman allows (or joins in) on another
woman having sex with her man; the two people by which the bond has been created will indeed carry
thoughts in their minds that they may (or may not) discuss with one another (that’s neither here nor
there-as it pertains to what this blog is about, so we’ll leave it at the fact that an “energy” is
created—and we’ll move along)…

So…

Moving right along.

As a woman (in a relationship with a man), we have to understand that men are different species when
it comes to sex. A man’s “same difference” in comparison to women’s “same difference” with regard to sex,
is about as close a “same difference” as the male-female understanding about relationships is: We can come
together, but our coming together is from two different perspectives and understanding
(but we can still come together).

I said that to say this.

Because men are “different,” there are some things that (while in a relationship with a man) your
man should not be exposed to (with you). When it comes to sex, love, intimacy and all things involving sex;
with a man, it’s on a kind of “person-to-person basis,” like their minds seem to work in flashes or like
the flickering of a light going on and off. And each ‘off’ and ‘on’ is representative of a different person,
a different situation, and a different circumstance.

You have to catch that light on-and leave it on: for you.
You have to make sure that all things that go on in the dark (when the light is out) is too,
with you-isolate his thoughts and thinking, and feeling.

Men are funny creatures that vascilate like off and on switches.
A man can be in a relationship with a woman for years and the two of them may
(or may not) have ever talked about swinging or having a threesome-yet, he may have experienced swinging
or having a threesome with the relationship before her. All this time, your relationship is what it was,
but when he asks to be, or you turn him on to that (although he may have experienced before); you are
turning him on (all over again) to something “new” (all over again). And that is when it comes down to
Soul-Ties -v- Bonds…it may change your whole relationship around for the worse, not so good, or the demise
of it altogether. But it’s almost delusional to think “it makes your relationship better.”

The truth of the matter is if bringing another Soul-Tie into your Bond makes your relationship is “better”
that because of [inviting that in] chances are; you really don’t have a “bond” already
(a mental + emotional + physical + communicative connection).

In the nature of cheating:the desire behind cheating is not so much in the cheating as the cheating is
(itself) a secret.
But that doesn’t mean that inviting another spirit in between your two spiritual
centers is a cure for it.

threesome_1347019655_460x460You can’t turn a man on to certain things (and “everything”) in an effort to spice up your love life,
especially when they involve introducing other people, spirits, and physical entities into the mix.

When you wake up something in a man (sexually) it has to keep going.
While trying to stimulate his desires and meet his needs, the thing is, you the WOMAN, you have to
decide if that “thing” is something that’s healthy for the energy of your bond (or relationship),
and you know in your heart of hearts is sure not to backfire or cause tension or a riff later on…

No matter how much a man might love you or care for you, when you turn his light on to certain things
(for hispleasure), he’s not going to stop to consider the negative effects of the possible “later.”

The problem with us women is that after we’ve done every position and cleaned out the entire book of
Kamasutra, stood on our heads, had sex in elevators, sex on the copy machine at work after everyone’s left,
and other unusual places; we are constantly trying to think of ways to satisfy him as if he is some kind of
animal that’s going to run off into the wild if we don’t get it cracking.

389700_3992578942156_1815036763_n Now let’s not get it twisted, wedo have to keep it “poppin,’” but the other fact of the matter is—he is
NOT an animal, he is a man.
Evolve.
Don’t let that picture of Darwin’s Theory of Evolution fool you and play on your head…

We are human but we are not animals.

The difference between animals and human beings is that animals are instinctive (as are humans) but they do
not have intuition, or thrive in a kingdom where their outward sexual behavior is met with shame or scorn when
they see a potential mate, hop up on her (in front of every other animal in the wild) does his business, and flees.

We human beings live in a society (kingdom) where our sexual behaviors are dictated by the shame, scorn of other
intuitive persons like us. So we are guided by either: moral, personal, or religious compasses + our intuition,
conscience (and discretion).

Outside of their choice of species for mating, animals are indiscreet, and indiscriminate.
They do not “master” themselves for anything other than survival. They are sexual creatures (like us),
but they do not have “desires” (like us) so they simply survive…they don’t “think” indiscriminately. Period.

We human beings live in a society (kingdom) where our sexual behaviors are dictated by the shame, scorn of other
intuitive persons like us. So we are guided by either moral, personal, or religious compasses, and our conscience
(and intuition).

Animals do not “master” themselves. They are sexual creature like us, but they do not have desires like us so
they survive. Period.

We (humans) are equipped with the tools to master ourselves (and our desires). And we become “beasts” [slang] we do.

The strongest we will ever be is when we master certain desires with discipline and self control aided by our
consciously being on top of a thing.

When we exercise discipline in eating well, and master that-THE RESULT IS: We lose weight or maintain good “heart” health.

When we exercise, and become disciplined in doing so; THE RESULT IS: We become fit.

So when it comes to those things that feed our desires like sex, money, food etc., when we become masters of what it
is we will (and will not do) to do/have/obtain those things;THE RESULT IS: We become masters of ourselves.

The fact of the matter about monogamy is that it is a decision: A conscious decision requiring constant self-discipline
and self-control (just like the exercise and eating well example I just gave). When we consistently make a conscious
decision to be monogamous-THE RESULT IS: We maintain a healthy, thriving, blossoming relationship.

As a woman, in a relationship and bond (a mental + emotional + physical + communicative connection) with a man,
you have to be very aware that because men are differentthey will indeed have a plethora of desires.
But you have to find a way to CONTAIN and sequester those desires, ownthem-take control of them so that
they may be used a fuel for the desire between the two of you (rather than acted upon outside the relationship).
By your openness and his willingness share those desires with you whether it be in conversation at dinner or pillow talk,
but especially during foreplay and during sex(as explained here); THE RESULT IS:
The secrecy involved in cheating (which fuels the act) suffocates.
Although the secrecy involved in his entertaining the thoughts turned desires get intercepted,
it still allows his desires to run free however, they become contained, shared, and feasted on
between no one but the two of you…

And as this is practiced (exercised) THE RESULT IS it not only brings you closer
(intimately, mentally, emotionally, and physically); anything outside of [what you are in practice “containing”]
feels foreign feels foreign, it’s not as easy to infiltrate-not even in his head and while away from you, because
with enough practice; he’ll be conditioned to bring whatever it was (that met his eyes and entered his head)
home to you-for the two of you to (sexually) “feast” on, without whole other body disrupting your
house, home and flow.

Secrecy + what’s kept in the head is what typically fuels desire, but when you share it, it becomes fuel for the two of you.

And just like somebody who finally gets it right (e.g eating right and exercise) it becomes a “lifestyle” change for them.
A monogamous and sexually fulfilling relationship between two people; if exercised enough can too,
make the relationship “swing” by a pendulum atypical that, AS A RESULT: Becomes a lifestyle.

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MEET ANGELA SHERICE




Early this morning, something came across my eyes that brought
the same tear to it that it did a little over a month ago when
I saw it. It was a conversation between two people that at the time;
prompted me to want to blog about and although the conversation was
in public view (because it was still between two people) I just
blogged about it in my mental rolodex, clutched my chest in empathy,
wiped the lil’ from my eye and kept it moving. (In matters of the heart
believe it or not, I’m a little softer than I seem, I’m just hard-minded
at times).

At any rate.

This morning however, a copy and paste of that same conversation was
posted from the blogger to solicit dialogue/comments on and high and
behold; you know I already had something to say about it (because of
the way it reached me a month and a half ago).

So here I am-it’s all our business now.

It was conversation between rapper Wale and a blogger. He was talking about love
being “too dangerous” and counterproductive right now and for him-he didn’t trust
anybody right now. He stated he had tried but it didn’t work, and how “love” makes
“people” (him) too vulnerable. He said he just wasn’t comfortable with it.

Interestingly, last night, while I was writing into the wee-hours of the morning,
I posted this SHORT POEM to my blog
in which a freestyle/poem came to my mind-my speaking in first person
[like I speak from in pretty much all my work] to a guy who lives a fast
life and loves a girl who too, loves him back yet everytime she feels like he’s getting
to the point where he can relax and put his guns down with her, she gets happy (because
that’s her number one concern with him): his happiness and being that person away from
his fast life to give him the comfort, love, and security that he needs, but still be able
to function in his fast life (but with the security that she is good to him-with or away
from him). But he always pulls the rug from underneath her feet and knocks her back down to
square one and they just can’t get it right because of his trust issues, which what it all
boils down to-is a direct result of the fast life that he lives.

This conversation of Wale’s reminded me of such a scenario so much so that in my writing
the poem last night, what Wale was confessing in this conversation he was having seemed…surreal
to what I was [in first-person] writing a poem about.

God works in mysterious ways, and I’m glad that the blogger happened to have posted the exchange
this morning because it is a subject that is brushed over so much and accepted
as apart of the lifestyle of somebody like Wale’s yet, what does that do to his heart, his mind?
What happens to him when the lights are turned off, sweat wiped and the silence begins?

Is “love” (in Hip-Hop) REALLY counterproductive?

So let’s get to the heart of it all.

You see, it’s kinda like I just mentioned my needing to write in “first-person” in all my
work and my short poem (that too, is related to this essay’s subject matter)
…As an artist, most of the best work is delivered with a kind of texture that is unmatched
when it is delivered [if not first person], from a standpoint of personal experience, true account,
or that which has been tried, witnessed, tested, proven or disproved.

The rap game is a subculture that in many ways, adheres to the same codes of the streets.
Regardless what you may feel about “the streets” (or the rap game), it is no less a subculture and
lifestyle than the one you live and ascribe to as well. One of the biggest codes of (both games) that
I am speaking of, is that it’s not very wise to talk about living a life in the streets that you are
not living-any more than it is not wise to talk about living a life in the rap game (through your music)
that you are not truly living (in your real life outside of the studio and off the stage).
That could get you ostracized to a level unredeemable.

So when you are rapping about fast women and all those things that come with it, you had better be
living it just as sure as if you rap about fast cars and other materialisms–you had better be able
to prove those things are yours, un rented (should you be called on it).

“KEEPIN’ IT REAL.”

As silly as that may sound to the average person, those kinds of “truths” (that one claims to be
living/doing/having) are a kind of metaphor connected to your credibility (and your worth and value)
in the rap game (or streets). If you can “put up” and “put out” about all that you say you are,
what you have, and what you do; then you are somewhat “initiated”-left alone and can be trusted
(in that regard). The “problem” is, you have to keep putting out like that-it has to become
apart of your complete lifestyle just as sure as getting up everyday and bathing has to be apart of
yours, mine and everybody’s lifestyle-it has to be done. And so, the “lifestyle” begins and all that
comes with it…

Because of that [kind of lifestyle] when it comes to “love,” love in hip-hop (to street guys, and guys
in the rap game) “love” is an altogether different kind of “love” than the way the average guy living a
traditional lifestyle (less the fast women/cars etc) lives.

Women (fast women) are VERY necessary to this lifestyle as all the “necessaries” to being in the
lifestyle are too, necessary. They go hand in hand.

I’ve studied pop culture and music through to back in the days before I was ever twinkle in my mom
and dad’s eye. And the interesting dichotomy that I found was that as compared to today, when it came
down to the fast women who were the groupies of yesteryear, they truly did “[come] through,
she brought food, she got fucked, she know what’s up,” (like a popular rap lyric says in a song today).
The girl (then) got high with the guys, rode the tour bus around here and there, went home, met back
up with them in some other town, some other night-same bat time, same bat channel. And this thing would
go on and on until whenever. Most all groupies of yesteryear did that-they understood, and were okay
with that.

*CUE THE ROCKSTAR MUSIC*

For the rockstar men (of yesteryear) the drugs, the sex, and rock and roll were magnets to the women who
they all pretty much in agreement and knew: “time spent with me is time spent with you.” It was all apart
of the business [of the pleasurable kind] for the men (and the fast women). And the end of the night
(or morning) there was no-harm, no-foul.

As time progressed, recessions began, economic statuses have changed; therefore the culture of music
(and the music itself) too, changed. People are growing more impatient with having, and doing things
the slow way in these fast times. These changes (in the hip-hop culture I’m speaking of now)
brought out a whole new sleuth of fast women who would rather die than wear a label called “groupie,”
whereas the groupies of yesteryear wore the title like a badge of honor yet, they all did (and do-now)
the same things.

Therein lies the problem where “love” and hip-hop is concerned.

*CUE THE RAP MUSIC*

As time progressed groupies came out in droves. The internet wasn’t available to civilians as yet and
during that time, being wherever any rap-star would be was all a matter of knowing when they would be in
town, saying (and doing) the right to the right hand-man (or entourage member), and you could come along
for the ride and do whatever. Unlike yesteryear, these times were laden with women with a bigger game plan:
To go half on a baby. The stories would be unbelievable but damned sure true. Some worked out (as planned)
others didn’t-but the bottom line was, these guys knew the game. In the middle of their lifestyle:
trying to create and “keep it real” these women became very much a distraction (but of the necessary kind).
There is no rap lifestyle without the women. There is nothing to rap about (that would sell)
without actually having those experiences with these women… (That is: If you’re really about keepin’ it real)…

*CUE THE RAP MUSIC—LOUDER*
In made available the internet. Gone, are the days where the groupies were trying to get pregnant-uh un.
The internet has brought them all closer to their target than ever before. They want to look cute
for pictures now. The only busting out these females want to bust out at is at the ass, titties
and the hips-that’s it: by any means and costs necessary. It’s the way of the game.
Even the surgery for it all has gone underground now. It’s a full-on covert operation and
these rap dudes at war. The groupies got a bigger game now and a little more wiggle room
than ever before.

The influx of lesser quality television gives rise to lesser important news.
The media masses are now reporting “news” today for the sake sensationalism, ratings and
culture shock. This afforded the groupies of this lifestyle a different way in:
Get the guy, keep your eye on a couple of others. Make fake friends in-industry and outside
of industry [who too are all doing the same thing to greater and lesser degrees].
And viola! They’re on television, all over the blogs and various internet gateways.
Their new lives have just begun, but the romance is not over (not just yet).
They got more work to do.
(*cues the music: “Pussycat” by Missy Elliot’)
“Pussy don’t fail me now. I gotta turn this nigga out. So he don’t want nobody else, but me and only me.”

These girls are giving these rap dudes good times in their lifestyle; providing them with
all the “keepin’ it real” material necessary to rap and write about. It’s on and poppin’
right now. Strip clubs, industry parties, private parties, after-parties, video shoots,
Snoop rapping over speakers-art imitating life: “Every other city go. No matter I go,
I see the same hoes.”

Drakeness over the speakers chiming in: “I don’t judge her. I don’t judge her.
But I could never love her ’cause to her I’m a rapper and she will have met another.”

Both: “Keepin’ It Real”: Life imitating art. Art reflecting life…

These rap dudes are fallin’ in and out of infatuation and fascination with so many women they can’t
keep up with them. Before they can grip them long enough to attempt anything solid; she’s already
made her way through the industry and put up an online account where the lost souls of the audience
give her audience because she was the former girlfriend of Rap Star A and now the new girlfriend
of Rap Star B. She’s an insta-star now. Famous for being with the famous and now she’s famous-that’s it.

It’s really war-zone now, and the “Wale’s” all know how it goes down. So they shut down…and become numb
(like he said in their exchange)
…The closest thing to connect to her are the words over the speakers chanting out from his heart that although
he wish could happen and be true, he knows-won’t happen so instead he let’s the song cry from own pen:
“And before the sun graze ya I’m tryna see how deep you are and believe me Shawty..I ain’t talking
’bout no intimate conversation..I wanna see if I can make you reach things unattainable when I peek into
your nature. And I promise you my goals will exceed any physical pleasure I wanna give you what’s better
than better. The better my effort, the wetter her treasure…the more these mere moments seem like heavens
or temporary forevers. Shawty get it together. Shawty get it together.”

Numbing the feel…

It’s all apart of the lifestyle now and they collect the pain, keep the kush on the deck and
continue to keep it real. By this point and time, this cycle is a day-in-and day-out process.

*CUE THE SILENCE*

Meanwhile back at the ranch is the one girl he’s got tucked away. Some girl he didn’t meet at
a strip club, industry party, a private party, an after-party or a video shoot. She’s just some
girl doing her thing, in no way interested in his pop life-he’s just her prince, and he loves
her to life and adores her. He can tell her things he would dream of telling no other woman.
He can cry to her. He continuously tries with her, and does everything he can and even refuses
to lie to her. He loves her, but doesn’t quite know how to trust her in ways to catch up with
how he continuously tries-like he’s chasing his own tail. The life he lives won’t let him lay
all his trust on the line for her. She’s still a woman just like all the others are-regardless
his love for her. He holds on to this part of his resistance in an effort to “keep it real”
so as to not deviate too far from the life he lives. He needs a little bit of that
so he doesn’t go “soft”—it’s “counterproductive.”

Love is counterproductive… ” (says Wale).

So the most commitment he can offer his tucked girl away right now is solace in the fact that
“she’s not like the rest of ‘those’ girls.” The ones he’s used to. The ones he goes after,
the ones that go after him. The ones he parties with. The ones that are actually very much apart
of his life more than he will ever sit in silence to think about and consider being so…

To alleviate the guilt he feels for knowing he has not put it down with her completely, like Wale,
he lets a song cry in his head too-fantasizing about the day he takes a deep breath and is brave
enough to cry with the introduction to its words
So, I typed a text to a girl I used to see, sayin that I chose this cutie pie with whom I wanna be.
And I apologize if this message gets you down, then I cc’d every girl that I’d see-see ’round town
and, I hate to see y’all frown but I’d rather see her smiling. Wetness all around me, true, but I’m no
island Peninsula maybe, makes no sense I know, crazy. Give up all this pussycat that’s in my lap no
lookin’ back?”

Little does she know, he often fantasizes about that day happening but he’s scared.
Deep down inside, he’s got too much too risk.
“Love is counterproductive… ” (says Wale).

Unfortunately, on one of those days where Little Miss Tucked Away is all cried out and thought through,
he goes back to chasing his tail and telling her that he thinks it can work out. She proceeds to tell
him what she thinks’ll happen with the two of them if all the things that came with “love” were to be
something he impulsively acted on: He’ll eventually grow to resent her because that’s the life that gave
him “life” and fed his ego to degrees that one woman back home simply loved by him, cannot contend with.
That is a reality.

So to be fair to them both, the best thing they can do is to be counteractive in order to counterbalance it all.

That would mean Little Miss Tucked Away understanding that his lifestyle is going to be what it is:
Girls will be around. No kicking and screaming, serial-texting and excessive unnecessary pressure
and other types of silliness as a trade-off for him not only be considerate for what he has back home;
but being SMART ENOUGH to mingle and handle all those same girls as the BUSINESS that they are:
“necessary” to his lifestyle, but consider the fact that you’ve got your PLEASURE (that truly knows and loves you)
at home-someone who has no interest in being where you’re at, partying where you party, living life how you
live it BUT while making her own way doing her own thing.

Granted, not all “Wale’s” have a Little Miss Tuck Away, but it does not excuse the fact that you still need
a remedy for counteraction and counterbalancing-you have to use your head (the one on your shoulders) a little
better by opening your own eyes to see what’s really going on in your world and in your lifestyle.
Stop point the finger at the “necessary” girls who are out here surviving and taking care of
“necessary business” (with your permission and invite).

Those “necessary” girls today (that again, are a package deal with the lifestyle), aren’t like the groupies
in days of Jagger and Steven Tyler/Aerosmith, a lot of the old RnB -all those groupies in their day
genuinely wanted to stroke their egos, get high, have sex and go home. Period. They found joy
in that. There was no trickery and hidden agendas.

It’s a different time right now and groupies have evolved with the changes in time, but it’s the
“Wale’s” who are “counterproductive”: still laying back like the cats in the Jagger day’s (enjoying all this)
but not understanding that now (unlike then) it’s serious BUSINESS for these girls and you have to open
your eyes and look at “the business” like it’s a game of “Survivor” (the tv show): You dump all these men and
women on an island where a million dollars is to be gotten and it’s going to be a whole lot of snuffing out
until that million dollars is gotten.

In the lifestyle of the “Wale’s” you are dumped on and island where everybody’s looking to strategize and win
that million dollars-no matter how dirty they gotta play. Some hearts and heads are gonna roll and some fires
are gonna be snuffed the eff out.

The fact still remains-you keep mingling in the lion’s den of survivors thinking that within that lion’s den,
you’re going to find that little kind kitty that won’t bite (or break their ally with you in order to get
close to that million).

Aint gonna happen.

It is counterproductive to think that you can keep mingling with “business” in search of pleasure and think
that you are somehow going to find an ally of loyalty and trust in somebody who’s in search of a million
dollars without something to trade, sell, or offer (other than sex, a big body, butt, and smile).

CLUE: ANYTHING WHERE THE MONEY IS FAST, YOU GOTTA DO “FAST” THINGS TO GET IT.

Anybody who is wherever you:
• Party
• Mingle
• Congregate
…that’s not there with any literal business by which you do business, is there on a different
kind of business (under the guise of pleasure).

thYou see, while they’re lovin’ the crew, you can’t be in a Jagger-like 60’s daze in this
New Millennium haze. And when you don’t open your own eyes to see that you are seeking, looking,
attracting, permitting, or inviting “love” [in although necessary ego-boosting convenient but wrong places];
you are going to KEEP finding your fire getting snuffed out to that same point of “numbness” (like Wale).

So yes, “love” can be COUNTERPRODUCTIVE…but only when what you have is really not love.

Often lost on a lonely highway, love (like clarity) is found on a two-way street.

When it’s real love, you COUNTERBALANCE it with COUNTERACTION whether it be as a single man
(making better choices in women, where you make your choices or get chosen), or whether it
be with a Little Miss Tucked Away on your team.

Don’t just drop the mic on “Keepin’ it Real” at the part where you neglect to see what part
you played in the Game too, it’s a two-way street. And when you only consider the
“counterproductive”—which is like…that line in the center of that two-way street; you
neglect to consider there are two other sides of that line that you must see (for clarity)
and when you don’t, you make your own heart and other people pay for it when you don’t consider
both sides of that Game + humbly keep this fact in mind in the hazy mist of all your fortune and fame:

There’s only so much sex with so many exotic women , places, styles, and positions you can have it.

There’s only so many exotic places you can go, and live-expensive clothes, fancy cars.

There’s only so many delicacies you can consume that all this wealth and fame can buy to keep you happy and on temporary forevers.

After marinating on that, and coming to terms with that reality; the bonus is securing the LOVE of someone who:
• Truly loves you
• Truly cares for you
• Is truly concerned for you

It changes that Wanderlust to “Wonder”…forever (and that’s definitely productive).

So make your money and your music, and all that comes with that.

But aside from that-make your real, good love.

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angie2004
MEET ANGELA SHERICE



{December 10, 2012}   Grown & Sexy (Organically).


Something caught my eye today and if you know me,
if something tugs at me having
anything to do with the human condition or experience,
then I can’t help but speak on it.
So I’ll speak, after you read this passage that I read (today):

The war on men through the degradation of woman. How is man to recognize his full self, his full power
through the eye’s of an incomplete woman? The woman who has been stripped of Goddess recognition and diminished to a
big ass and full breast for physical comfort only. The woman who has been silenced so she may forget her spiritual essence
because her words stir too much thought outside of the pleasure space. The woman who has been diminished to covering all that
rots inside of her with weaves and red bottom shoes
. I am sure the men, who restructured our societies from cultures
that honored woman, had no idea of the outcome. They had no idea that eventually, even men would render themselves empty and
longing for meaning, depth and connection. There is a deep sadness when I witness a man that can’t recognize the emptiness he
feels when he objectifies himself as a bank and truly believes he can buy love with things and status. It is painful to witness
the betrayal when a woman takes him up on that offer. He doesn’t recognize that the creation of a half woman has contributed to
his repressed anger and frustration of feeling he is not enough. He then may love no woman or keep many half women as his prize.
He doesn’t recognize that it’s his submersion in the imbalanced warrior culture, where violence is the means of getting respect
and power, as the reason he can break the face of the woman who bore him four children. When woman is lost, so is man. The truth is,
woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul. Power and control will NEVER out weigh love.
May we all find our way.
J”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Amen” is what I said, and intended to stop there because
the message spoke volumes. But as I almost
logged off, my heart compelled me to speak to.
And from that beckoning echo, I felt like the message was so
imperative, that I needed to post it here too (on my blog).

You see…after I said “Amen,” I was just going to throw my hand in
the air like I was testifying…then log off with the words:
“Enough said” dancing in my mind-because she said so much in that
one paragraphs (that I highlighted in bold) yet, it’s so much
more…because it’s so much more than [even what SHE said] that
goes along WITH [what she said].

(I hope that came out right).

That passage happened to have been written by Jada Pinkett-Smith.

I could appreciate (and believe) those words coming from her
because I know that her eyes can see [and therefore-speak] on
the way that we love today…(well-the way many of us THINK we are loving)
living, and calling ourselves being “whole,” when in the depths and truths
of it all, many of us are not.
But it’s not entirely all our fault.
We have a good excuse yet, we have no idea that-that excuse is exactly
what excuses us from the table of true love, real self-love, and the ability
to make and cultivate true connecting and have true love.

So when I say:
“yet, it’s so much more…because it’s so much more than [even what SHE said]
that goes along WITH [what she said]…”
…I mean that, when coming from Jada’s era (growing up-teen, young adult, and adult),
the way that ‘socializing’ was, the way that ‘love’ was, the way that ‘life’
just—was…(regardless how rebellious you may have been)…being apart of that era in life
instilled a different kind of respect for, and knowledge of what real love was versus is
(now)-and with a special kind of understanding that real love could never be so, without
truly being a whole person/individual (first). Yet, it’s so masked by the superficiality
of how we think, how are programmed, and how we live today—in ways and styles that if you
did not come from an era (like Jada’s–when it was “organic”); it’s almost no hope.

You can see it. You can feel it. It’s a texture.
Like: “Invisibility”-if invisible was a texture.
It’s like something that you touch and it just dissolves,
versus from an “organic” era-the texture is like: Silk, Corduroy or even Teflon.
(That’s the best way I can give you a visual…to feel what it is I’m saying).

th
So a woman from Jada’s eyes…looking at the world and raising kids (both sexes)
up in the middle of the EXACT same thing that she is talking about in her post;
being in the center of those two differences (the “organic” versus the now), I can only
IMAGINE…how it does a number on her mind every single day.

Last year sometime, I wrote another blog
(a short story) similar to the plight of this blog-you might wanna take a look at it
.

You see, I’ve had these types of conversations with females
(and males) who unfortunately do NOT come from those “organic” moments in time of life and love.
And to be truthful, by the end of the conversation; I could only yawn in pity and sadness just to
know that to truly get a feel for the touch of love is something that will have to be “taught”
(especially when as of 2012-if they are under twenty-five). But my considering how we are
programmed today-rather than throwing in the towel altogether on there being any hope of
them ever being able to experience what that organic life and love is like, at the end of
conversation, the only advice I could offer was to tell them to just—make it their business
to make a friend who too, understands and are much apart of, and migrating in the culture
and subculture today; but who-as well, comes from an organic moment in time. Where love is
concerned, they can slow you down some: sensitize you where you are much too desensitized.
Reprogram your mind, and teach you something-first-about yourself, and then life…so that you
can then understand what true love really is all about–how to give it and how to receive it.
Get close to somebody who, not so much that gets you to thinking, but somebody who can get you
to “feeling”…how to “feel” with your mind, and your heart (before your body). Because if you’re
only working off of what we have to work with today, you’re going to miss what it is that’s really
essential to float your boat…

Hopefully, Jada’s post-atop the line (and what I am saying in this blog) can get you to what it is
that I [and I am sure-what she] was trying to say, because it really is more to it.
I am a writer who feels her plight in what she’s saying. And I can tell she wrote a “light” version of
a much deeper conversation. So I piggybacked off that intent for this blog. But keep in mind that I do
go over this subject in a section of a chapter (in unapologetic detail) in my book in Gem #11.
You can read the segue to the chapter by merely clicking this link.

But back to this blog. In keeping it “light,” or straight at it (the way you will read when you buy the book),
the bottom line is-the lesson is essential however it’s delivered to you, because we need love to live like
we need “life” to thrive. But we are not really blossoming like we really should/could be, because love and life
is an entirely different kind of experience when it’s organic and from the root-the DIRT root.
Everything we do now, everything that we are about, and all that matters to us is
right now is within instantly gratifying reach and disposal—it’s superficial at best-all on the surface.
That includes how we connect-which liters into how we are “loving” (or think we are loving).
Hell, we can’t even perform a duty or extend a nicety without going online and telling the world our
good deed for the say. Even our true sense of empathy and caring is questionable.
Our narcissism and in authenticity is at an all-time low, and we have to be conscious of it
(if what we truly want is what’s authentic, organic, and real)…

And so my opinion about Jada and Will (and all these up and down rumors flying around 1279829231-will_smith_and_jada_pinkett
about them getting divorced, yes, no, maybe, etc.)…this is something that I’ve always
thought about them (when the rumors fly): “I know they’ve got to be tired of each
other, and I know they probably have done all there is to do and at this point, are probably
like: ‘look… the kids are no longer babies. Let’s close the curtains on this relationship’.”

But then after reading her post (atop), that’s the heart, mind and the “way” of a woman who
comes from that organic time and moment of true life and love (as does Will), which brings
me back to my point.

When it comes down to life and love, they KNOW better.
And in “knowing” better, they both know what’s up–the differences in the desensitization
of love now, versus the sensitivity of then. They BOTH know what’s up if they split…
The organically grown and sexy know that jumping ship into this “now” is a no-bet
and is definitely no better.

They BOTH know the “matrix” of life and love we are living in right now as compared to
when they were both were coming up. And because they DO know the difference,
their advantage is that they know how to work past superficial (and major) differences,
and are a little more patient with working out the kinks and imperfections than the average
young couple of today’s era don’t have an understanding of.
All the tools people of today have to work with are all the things that keep them away from
experiencing wholeness (and oneness with themselves), and what REAL love is truly all about.

That main thread that I’m willing to bet that’s holding them together is the “knowing”: knowing
that difference between being apart of the “then” and the “now.”
When you have that advantage; you can win in this game of life and love.
But when you DON’T have that advantage, unfortunately, you can be like this invisible,
hollow piece of being that’s running around here thinking you are whole, but in truth and
reality; merely being bombarded, pressured, hoodwinked, bamboozled and run amok by all the
wrong or insubstantial and insignificant things that when all is said, done, and misunderstood;
leave us with no understanding of what truly being whole is-before calling ourselves becoming one.
And so our repeated, thin cycles of invisibility:
Begins.
And ends.
And begins.
And ends.
And begins.

…And so many of us are walking around wounded-jaded and wearing masks and cover-ups
(like she explained in that passage up top). That’s real. That’s really real.
We just don’t see it.

But open your eyes, your mind, and your heart to this one fact:
When you are REALLY whole, and when you REALLY know love; your eyes see life and “love”
(now-today) in a different way. It’s like going through a tye-died vertigo of an experience,
but without being dizzy. And you can easily spot and point out the people who aren’t and don’t
[know love]—love of self and how to truly connect and give love, live love, and be love] with
others “organically.”

It’s no judgment.
It’s just that they know love, Love. And if you’re desensitized and programmed, the good news is-they can show and tell you, and you can do the same for someone else.

DON’T JUST STARE.
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angie2004
MEET ANGELA SHERICE




In the land of [hetero] sexual intimate relations, for a single woman,
whether to (or not to) perform fellatio on a man (“give him head”) is a
dilemma that she is sure to have fought countless voices in her head
about-if she should take the plunge or just sit on it.

For the single woman, especially if she is not wantonly promiscuous and
indiscretion is not her thing, still, she can find her (non promiscuous)
self in some pretty compromising situations (and positions) during her
quest for love and relationship. And for that woman, the
voices in HER head will always yell out these warnings:
• He’s going to think you’re a whore!
• He’s going to tell all his friends (and everybody!)
• He’s not going to call you tomorrow!
• He’s going to be afraid to kiss you after you do it!
• He’s going to always wonder how many other men you did this to!
• A moment on the lips is a lifetime on the list!
• You’ll never live this down girl! Don’t do it!

…low and behold if you swallow him, or give him head without a condom on,
those voices in your head are turned up ten octaves-screaming like a
banshee at you while you are wrapped into the comfort of his (seemingly)
caring arms. Manhood and ego inflated from the feel of your body trembling
from his caress having no idea that a great majority of your feminine tremble
and moans come from fighting with the voices in your head doing everything
you can to justify why taking the plunge won’t be so bad and to assure
Voice Number [whatever] that this one’s here for the long haul-so giving him
head can only make things better for the night, for him and for the forever.
So you quiet the voices by reckoning:
I promise Voice, I promise Voice. This’ll be the last of the 3, or 5 or 10,
dicks I will ever have to suck. I promise you that this man whose arms I am wrapped
in-really loves me. It’ll make things better. Trust me Voice-trust me on this!
Run along now. Run along, already. Skidaddle! Skidickle
!”

After rationalizing and forcing your head reckon with your decision, you crank up
the volume (and intensity). Alas! The bass guitar strings scream with Pat Benatar
belting: “Hit Me With Your Best Shot-Fire Awaaaaaaay” begin to drown out
those annoying voices in your head-and you now bow down to reckon with his head [below].
In the unfortunate event you did not let your love adorn his penis with the proper prophylactics
and the fact that you’ve already gone under; the voices in your head have nothing else to
say to you. This time,
his voices from HIS head‘s head says to him:
• Ooh is she going to swallow?
• Ooh is she going to go the distance?
• Ooh is it going to be that good ’til the point where I don’t even have to, or
forget to fuck her (or fuck her again-some more)?
• If she doesn’t go the distance, what is she going to do with it if she doesn’t
swallow though? That means I’ll have to stop and fuck her.
Damn! (or: “Good!”)

Notice the difference between what goes through a woman’s mind versus what goes through a
man’s head regarding ‘head.’

In full detail, I make mention of these facts in a book I wrote called:
Doing It: Mind-Blowing Sex Tips You Will Never Forget (The Fine Art of Intimate Sex):

With regard to sex, there is something important that we just have to understand
(and reckon with). There is power in the penis (as is there being power in a
woman’s vagina)-spiritual power.

A woman’s vagina is the “spiritual center” of her entire (physical) body.
She is anatomically built to breed life by way of the same opening that a man
is built to penetrate. So whether or not he performs cunniligus on her/give her
head, because of the fact that he can take his “power” [slash] “spiritual center”
and enter hers; creates a spiritual experience for the both of them (no matter how
casual or committed the two of them may or may not be, or no matter how good or bad
the sex is or was).

Because of how we woman [-v-] how men are built to consummate, giving head to a man
is more essential to pleasuring him than it is essential that a woman have head
performed on her. Cunniligus is merely a bonus, and for some women-a conscious
requirement (or pre-requisite)-a demand or suggestion nonetheless, but not “essential.”

In contrast however, giving head to a man is “essential” for a few reasons:
Anatomically speaking, men do not have an opening [that breeds life] as does
women that too, receives and gives pleasure. If I had to give your mind a visual
and design, I would say that his is penis is to our clitoris as his testicles are
to our fallopian tubes. We hold the power of that “extra” opening that he does not have.
Therefore, we give “extra” pleasure (to him) when willing to place our “other”
power of life and death upon his “power” a.k.a: Our mouths.

Regardless how educated, common-sensed, spiritually grounded, or personally resilient
a man is-for them all, it’s a subconscious psychology behind his need and desire for
getting head. His penis is tied to a whole sleuth of emotional, societal, and mental
strings because of his gender’s role expectation in this world that we live in that even
if a man rejects this being imposed upon him he knows he can’t escape [the expectation].

He cannot escape that expectation any more than it is expected that a woman is to procreate
and make the family (for him). Obviously, there are special circumstances such as:
young age/inexperience, and situations like: female/male sterility that forfeit those
expectations however-when a man cannot hunt and gather enough for family, whether we’d
like to admit it or not (and even if he can hunt, gather and provide); it all comes back
to that old saying that all men have, or will say at least once in his lifetime:
All I got is my word and my balls.”

Although it’s mostly said with humor, all men know that when all is said and done, secured or
not secured; his “word and his ‘balls’ ” will survive him when of if all else won’t.
And to his male mind, especially ‘his balls’ (what sits above it) is special, and must be
handled and catered to with a special kind of care and consideration.

(We are going take a second to fly this bird down a few notches-take it P-G so that I
can get you to the point).

The gender role expectations (that we all adhere to) can be observed as early as
3 years old, and even better observable from ages 5 and up. As a former psych student with
personal interest in the study of gender roles, I’ve taken several classes where we observed
male and female children behind three-way mirrors in order to be able to assess and study their
gender role differences from 3 to 6 years of age-to interpret what we saw enough to be able to
write 15-20 page thesis’ about our various observations (by which we would attend these voyeur
sessions for two-weeks to one month at a time)-unbeknownst to the children who were merely
attending the learning/child-care center.

But as it pertains to what I am saying in this piece-as we grow older, our male-female roles evolve
into other ways that, [little do many of us understand] happened naturally and as early as early those
ages I just mentioned.

As women, we are socialized (and conditioned-as the weaker sex) to be somewhat subservient
and when the question begs: “To give or not to give?” we (subconsciously) know that it is an
act of submission to him that often times, those voices in our heads are merely trying to
forewarn us that we may (or may not be) kneeling and submitting to-bestowing upon that man-a
type of submission that nothing past those voices in his head can literally handle
(when the deed is done).

The problem is, although (I feel) submitting to a man and bestowing upon him-that kind of
thing is a “gift” and one such act that is as necessary as kissing his neck and lips; the problem
is that we have to learn to pay attention to those voices in our heads in comparison to the fact
if we are laying (and kneeling) to a king or to a pawn. And what we need to do is make better
choices in men-exercise a little more patience and work on his head up top, before working on his
head (below).

Which brings me to the point of this blog.

Mid-week sometime, there was a story that had come out that not only caught my eye, but also
resonated with me quite a bit-because I write in my Angie Situation book/series
(outside of what is on the website samples); a few stories about that same thing involving
the protagonist in the story which, from book 1-starts off by introducing you to her-and takes
you through her life events and situations that ongoing (page-for-page); allows the reader to
see what becomes of her the choices she had made (as well as those that were out of her control
and realm of understanding) until she begins to evolve into book 2 and definitely by book 3-what
catapulted it, what became of her, what came back to haunt her/end her…

December 2012 is one heaven of a busy month for me-and before I decided to press pause for a few
minutes on my book writing, to blog about this blog that you are reading. In between time, I
needed to sit back and observe how the party involved in this week’s fiasco moved-how she was
moving on that scandal that hit social. If she handled it the typical way that the basic/average
female today would have moved on it, I probably would not have written this blog. Because it is a blog
written to give you some understanding and sensibilities behind what a sexually active girl at
age 17, doesn’t have to capacity to understand is senseless (when she’s too young to understand
the seriousness of it the repercussions involved that too, can put a toll on her heart, her mind,
and her life).

No, this blog is not an “excuse” for her, but it is written to help people (in judgment of a girl
and situation as such)-to help them understand the plight of a young girl having the faculties to
foresight to see what could become of her (and the situation).

Equally as important-because it is so taboo-it is still something all women can
relate to (whether or not their situation played out into the publicly, or whether it simply
remained swept under the rug and hidden deep within the crevices of her mind). Any woman now, who was
sexually active at a young age can most probably relate-regardless the degree or degrade.

This blog was birthed because of the way she moved and handled it. I must say that I was completely
surprised (especially in this day and age, where the slightest shine down on anything-no matter how
shameful or degrading, not many people would ignore the “opportunity” to ride that into fifteen minutes
of bullshit of getting famous for being famous). Instead-she fought it-vehemently (thus far).

Now I mentioned earlier: “what we need to do is make better choices in men-exercise a little
more patience and work on his head up top, before working on his head (below)”
but my question to you is: “What can a 17-year old sexually active girl do with some ‘advice’ like that?”

Nothing.
So don’t judge her (or any other girl caught up in some sex scandal-public or otherwise).
Instead, understand this about female and a male:
Even if it turned out to be in vain and rebelled against, as youngsters, there is a reason why our parents
and other elders spent so much time trying to give us talks about abstaining from sex until we were “ready.”
Unfortunately “ready” is relative-and such that the body always seems to beat the mind to “ready” and when we
act on that, that is where our problems begin (especially females).

Boys (and many men) are not mentally prepared to be able to maturely deal with what is being done to their bodies
any more than girls (and many women, too) have a full understanding that they are sexually submitting to males
(who are actually pawns) in ways that make him feel like a king-when he is not. And when he is not, he pawns her
off in ways that could ruin her publicly, mentally, emotionally and personally.

Having experienced such a thing at a time in my young and “unevolved” life
(before I found “myself” and something constructive to focus on), I can vouch for that being a fact.

If you have been to my website and know a little bit about me, then you already know what my “thing” is,
what my M-O is: Everything that I write or blog about has one or all these things intertwined:
the Erotic, Introspective, Reflective, Self-Efficacious, or the Metaphysical.

So let me reflect.

When I write blogs like this, and when I write biographical fiction and narrative nonfiction books like:
Feel Like A Lady. Deal Like A Man: Tips & Secrets on Everything from Self-Esteem, Friends, Love, Sex, and Men
I don’t put together information gathered from various articles and pre-written research to try to prove
my point and build my book. I feel that if I’m going to reach somebody with a relatable truth then they have a
right to get the truth (from the horse’s mouth).

For a woman, it’s almost next to impossible to be able to articulate herself enough to write a
nonfiction book (or blog such as this one) without having been there, and been over it.

I have to admit that when something happens that forces me to revisit situations like the
inspiration behind why I wrote this blog, I can’t help but feel like kicking myself
and suck my teeth while spewing epithets and expletives because it’s a reminder of not just
how gullible I was. But there is a blessing in it that I cannot allow myself to forget.
Things have happened (and I believe purposely) catapulted me into being the woman that I am
today (with regard to love and relationship): More realistic and practical than dreamy
and unrealistic about what I wish to be true (when not)-something that’s responsible for
a lot of unnecessary hurt and pain that we women put ourselves through in the name of love.

The lessons that I found in the blessing was something that most women never get a chance
have happen in their adult and evolved lives [before easy access and the invention of
Twitters & Facebooks through-to date-until resentfully throwing in the towel]: That/those ones who last
knew the gullible “you,” go through hell and high water over the years to find you…only
to meet the “woman you”-far from that same girl that spent nights crying uncontrollably,
balled up in senseless emotional knots that you never thought you’d muster the strength
to make your way out of.

Did it do anything for my ego? No.
Did it do anything for my self-esteem? Somewhat.
Did it teach me a lot about myself? Yes. More than I ever could’ve imagined.
And it taught me that this wasn’t all because I’m so drop-dead gorgeous and
beautiful, but rather, during my gullibility, I didn’t have it in me to be any
more open to “give” anything other than as discussed in the premise and the title
of this blog. And sometimes people who merely didn’t get a chance to finish knowing
you, or loving you feel like that is what they want to do, regardless whatever they
put you through.

The part that makes you kick yourself and suck your teeth is the reality of being forced
to see yourself in a mirror; sitting there talking to a man who’s doing his best to say
all the right things but [as a woman now] you can’t even see into him enough to feel his
plight because all you keep seeing is yourself in some outer body experience having
conversations with your (then) self and your (now) self, by which none are working to his
plea and benefit-yet-purely experiencing clarity rather than contempt. It’s a high, and a
closure that I never chased but somehow found me-something that I’m sure would have turn
out completely different had I not found “me.”

But by being open to dialogue about anything outside of rekindling what’s no longer
necessary in my world today, over the years of having moved on; it’s helped me be true
to myself, reroute the blame, undo the shame, and meet people where I’m at right now-gone
forward.

Although the rollercoaster ride, the twists, the turns, the spins and road to it may
very well have made one hell of a jaw-dropping “loosely based” series, it was not in vain.
And quite frankly; couldn’t have been made possible had I not been forced to re-visit my
(then) “me” who still, I had zero understanding of until my (now) “me”—and that I am pretty
sure is not that different than many young girls to grown women who too, can relate-no matter
how private and swept under a rug (or public) your version was played out.

DON’T JUST STARE.
SHARE THIS BLOG POSTING WITH THE SOCIAL COMMUNITIES OF
YOUR CHOOSING BY HITTING THAT “SHARE” BUTTON.
THANK YOU.
angie2004
MEET ANGELA SHERICE



{March 13, 2011}   Reality Gone Real.

That middle pic of Shaunie is CLASSIC. I love it! LoLoLoL. Scroll up. Look at it real quick & you will bust out laughing


Let’s all face it: “cliques” (especially girl cliques) are messy-no matter how:
neat, nice or how good they begin.

From the outside looking in, especially for us girls who could care less about
“cliquing up” etc., we love to judge them and point the finger at them.

But when it comes to pointing fingers and judging how someone else works, lives,
plays or socializes; the truth is-it’s not for us to “judge” but rather: accept.

People misunderstand “accepting” a thing for “agreeing” with a thing.

To accept a thing is to merely acknowledge that you recognize that there are other
things outside of what you do-that other’s do-regardless whether you agree or not.

Accept that just because someone does not socialize, play, work, or “clique up”
like we do; it does not make what they do (or how they do what they do) any better
or worse than us (and what or how we do what we do).

I said that as a sidebar mention about what I am about to blog about-so as to
remind those of us who aren’t “cliquish,” or roll with a posse of girls (and to
remind those of us who do-but think our way is any better or whatever) to put our
“silly posse/cliques” judgment guns down-because I am blogging about the issue within
in “the clique”-putting aside whatever I may think or feel about posse’s of girls and
stick to the issue/blog at hand without judgment them: these “BasketBall Wives.”

(I felt I had to preface that, because sometimes before I blog, I will have read so many
comments over the net-and the comments’ bullets go flying every direction, but mostly
straight from “judgment guns” that have each girls’ name on it-rather than what happened
or what the issue was).

So as I blog steering clear of that, I write in hope that my blog reader interprets it
for that-because we all are human and imperfect.

When I saw this heartfelt episode:
http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:uma:video:vh1.com:628784


...where Tami poured out her heart to the girls regarding them embracing and accepting her
in-I couldn’t help but empathize with what she expressed. I feel it was real, despite the
cameras and the fact that it is a “reality show.”

With regard to Evelyn confessing that she “dated” (and slept with) Tami’s (ex-husband),
(especially after listening to and being in receipt of such a heartfelt moment that Tami expressed);
how could you not feel compelled to lay it all on the table.
That was commendable-on Evelyn's part, because she didn't have to. And in my honest opinion,
their association hadn't "matured" enough for Tami to handle that kind of information (especially on camera).

The reality (of the reality) becomes this [seemingly blunt] but reality check:
Evelyn should have either kept that a secret that she Jennifer shared, or at least revealed it off-camera.

Hold your horses!

But that is the emotional side.
That is the: “woman-to-woman” side.
That is the: “if I truly had any intentions on a friendship between you and me blossoming once
these camera’s are off” side.


But, on the inside of the paint (the business/tv show side), that is where “reality-tv” and
the players in it-have big split-second decisions to make.
That is when something is so serious that it should be dealt with off-camera happens to make
good “tv” for the camera, however, does the most damage for the person/s involved when
the camera stops rolling and the lights go out.

What do you do?

I'll tell (like Shaunie-the executive producer showed you): you keep the camera’s
rolling-that is what you do.

For the love of friendship, yet, the business for television, the reality is that everybody
signed on for it.

And in signing on for it, you enroll (not just the side of you and life that you want to
glamorize or promote), but you also enroll your heart and quite possibly the darker and
unexpected surprises in your life too (depending on who the other players are and what their
relationship or connection is to you).

That is the harsh reality of when “reality” is on the television camera.

That is where “Reality TV” really gets “real.”

The reality of it all (when that camera is rolling and I am sure that
Shaunie-the executive producer of the show itself-would probably agree)-the hardcore fact is:
The main thing, is to keep the main thing: the main thing


…And with that said (and done), let’s drop that bomb by having this Tami-Evelyn pow-wow on
camera...keep it rolling…
And this is what happened as a result:
http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:uma:video:vh1.com:628785


…(As a sidenote), I have to say that I think that Shaunie was so caught in
the middle of that fiasco in the worse way. And I truly think her empathy (for Tami) was sincere.
I feel that she was straddled the fence on having being closest to the “bad guy” in this
(Evelyn), yet, having been the “victim” and in the same predicament as Tami.
She felt her pain-especially around that 4:20-5:00 moment of the scene. That was a sad,
heartfelt girl to girl moment of care, empathy and understanding.

Also on the flip side of that. After reviewing that same previous video, I won’t waste
time scribing and belaboring the obvious:

• never expect any ball player’s wife (ex or otherwise) to believe that any woman
does not know the ball players marital status especially when you-yourself, were once
(almost married) to one yourself. Any wife (or almost-wife) knows how the “come up” game goes
with these dudes when these girls are on the “come up” on them. Any wife (or almost-wife)
knows that even in college, those type of girls know: the roster, these dudes’ stats and
how to be where they are going to be at even before these dudes step foot on campus soil-and
the same is true for these dudes when they reach the league. Let’s keep it real, Evelyn.

• never expect a human being who just ingratiated themselves to you to react in
any less the manner that Tami did with a lil’ buzz of alcohol, and probably having wished that
confession took place without the cameras on her

• (on or off camera): never tell a woman who you just confessed having slept with her
(then husband), that she was a “non-motherfuckin’ factor” back when you slept with him
(I cant lie-that was funny as hell. I fell out laughing. That line put a whopping on the notorious:
“Who Gone’ Check Me Boo.” But on a serious note, still-you can’t spew that kind of venom in a moment like
that and expect a halo, hymnal music and white wings to appear on the (wife or ex-wife) of the man you
slept with-you just can’t) LoL.

Henceforth, that is when “Reality TV” goes real: having Tami hurt and left with nothing left to
say but: “I can’t trust any of these bitches-that’s really how I feel/The only thing I am sure about,
is these bitches are not my friends and I gotta learn to face the truth about that.”

Well, let me give up the truth about it.

The reality of these types of “cliques,” is that none of them are really true friends (unfortunately).

And as harsh as it may sound, the life of being (as Tami so eloquently put it): “the bitch, the hoe,
the trick, or the jump-off,” of any ball player is a game in and of itself.

It’s a game within a game.

It’s like a culture and within the culture of its own subcultures:
• The wives/ex-wives.
• The fiancés/ex- fiancé’s
• The dancers/cheerleaders.
• The groupies.

In the greater scheme of things, a great majority of these kinds of “friendships”
are no different a game than the actual game/strategy that these husbands and fiancés are
playing (for real) that brought all these women together (for play).

It’s all a “game” nonetheless.

For the men-it’s physical scrimmage (team to team).

For the women; it’s social scrimmage (wives, ex-wives, fiancés, ex- fiancés, dancers,
cheerleaders & groupies).

It’s all still a game-but on two totally different playing fields.

The sad thing about women who step into a man’s “world,” is that while you can step into a man’s
“world” (whatever that “world” may be) with all our womanly mental and emotional faculties;
you still have to understand his “game,” (whatever that “game” may be-whether it’s on
the field or how he socializes).
And then you have to know how to play that game “accordingly.”

When these girls step into these ball-player’s world, and then set up shop socializing with
fellow ball-player’s significant others (ex or otherwise), it’s just like with anything:
The fruition, blossoming and flourishing of any thing is dependent upon the
foundation by which it was built
.

Any ball players girl that you socialize with, is apart of the same (but different) type of “game.”
And just like it was because of a “game” that brought you all together, you cannot ignore the fact
that chances are there are going to be constant “games” in keeping these kinds of
“friendships” and associations together.

It’s a social scrimmage-survival of the fittest is only guaranteed for those built to champion it.

Unlike women, men can get caught up in the same type of situations (like Tami and Evelyn), but
what’s different about men versus women, is that those two men can (and MOST OFTEN always do)-carry
on and hang out (even though deep down inside, his emotions may feel another way).

Women (MOST OFTEN) cannot.

So, if you are not built for this “game,” (emotionally and mentally-like men are) do not expect
to reap from it: any fruit or blossoming.

If these women are anything smart, they have to associate themselves just like their
husbands and fiancé’s are playing their (real life game): by SEASON.

And if anything blossoms during that “season,” consider it a blessing.

However, do not expect anything more or anything less in order to avoid a bittersweet end.




Charity starts at home and then spreads abroad

Each one teach one

Be the change you wish to see in the world

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain;
For purple mountain majesties,
Above the fruited plain! America!
America! God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood,
From sea to shining sea
.”

…Oh how perfect. I can feel the perfection from here.
Can’t you?

Oh say you can. (I know you do).

Truth is: you don’t.

If charity started at home and then spread abroad, if each one taught
one and we were the change that we wished to see in the world; most probably,
there would be no discord from sea to shining sea.

Truth is: it’s impossible.

Why: because time tick keeps on ticking into the future-second by minute
by hour by day by year and whatever and all moment(s) with those times that we
did not spend on spreading our charity within our own home then spreads abroad,
teaching one, and being the change we wished to see in the world; we missed it-not hard to do.

Truth is: it’s inevitable.

That is because people are going to be who they are, like what they like and
subscribe to whatever they wish to; regardless of our charity, our teachings
and our being (shining) examples.


What brought this piece to mind for me was the recent (popular/culture) news happening
where it was reported that Louis Farrakhan had a few
choice words (of opinion) for pop singer Rihanna, where, he criticized her sexually-charged lyrics by referring to them as “filthy.”
(I am assuming he is referring to her recent S&M smash, laced with the following lyrics:
‘Cause I may be bad, But I’m perfectly good at it. Sex in the air-don’t care, I love the
smell of it. Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me
).”

Welcome to America!
It all began on July 4, 1776 when…(oh, you know the story)…where, fortunately, we have certain
freedoms that contradict, offend, arouse or disappoint many (the adjectives go on and on).
But the reality is (and visualize, and understand this fact):

Notta’ one day since the days of old, has time gone back to
the days of old.

I repeat:
Not one day since the days if old, has time gone back to the days of old

Bummer 😦

But there’s a bright side!
We all have had some tender moments where we’ve puts our hands to our chests because of
sparks of nostalgia.
We have all had conversations and emotional moments that reflected days of yesterday.
But the truth is-those are moments, times have changed.
And tomorrow-going forward-they are going to keep changing and going and changing.

Never demand or ask anyone (public figure or private citizen) to rearrange their
grind to suit your agenda, ego, faith, belief or set of standards that you
subscribe to-especially if they are not your child or loved one.

As much as we would like to grab hold of certain public figures in the media
(who do have the “power” to control, change rearrange many things) it is not their job.
Their job is their “grind” and whatever that grind is-there is an audience for it.

Oh the horror!
How dare there be an audience for such filth and swine!
How dare there be an audience for science-fiction!
How dare there be an audience for wizardry!
Oh…How dare there be an audience for gardening. 😦
All those worms and dirt? What filth and slime!

There is an audience for every single thing we like and approve of.

There is an audience for every single thing that we don’t like and disapprove of.

Accept that.

Accept that by knowing that there are many things you-yourself may subscribe to that
the next person will refuse to give audience to.

You can have an opinion about whatever you would like to, but if your opinion is not law,
despite how “gospel” it may be, it does not matter-because you do not rule the world and
you are not God. No matter how much you go on crusades to fight against,
defame or rant, time ticks into the future and you…are…not…God…
Sorry to break the news to you.

ATTENTION:
ANYTIME, A HUMAN BEING WHO CLAIMS TO BE A MAN/WOMAN OF GOD, CONDEMNS, JUDGES, ATTACKS ANOTHER
HUMAN BEING (FOR WHATEVER REASON) BUT UNDER THE GUISE OF BEING A WARRIOR, MISSIONARY OR
CHILD OF GOD; YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY PROVED THAT YOU HAVE ZERO FAITH IN GOD TO HANDLE HIS OWN
FUNCTIONS. WHICH MEAN: YOUR JUDGMENT, ATTACKS AND AGGRESSIONS ARE YOUR OWN. PERIOD.
ACCEPT THAT AND STOP PUTTING YOUR VERY OWN EMOTIONAL, MENTAL AND SPIRITUAL MESS, UPSET,
INHIBITIONS AND CONFUSION ON GOD.
STAND FRONT AND CENTER OF YOUR OWN HANG-UPS AND QUIT FORCING GOD TO RIDE SHOT GUN WITH THEM, WITH YOU.

NEWS FLASH:
AMERICA IS A BIG MELTING POT.

A melting crock pot of a wide variety of: egos, faiths, beliefs and subscribers. And at some point,
especially if you as a: dignitary, intellectual, religious leader, educator or whatever
your“grind” (or label is), if you are really intelligent,
then you are rational.
If you are rational, then you are logical.
If you are logical, then you know how to separate your emotions from a thing from the reality
of an even bigger picture (involving that thing).

Anything outside of that is pure ignorance.

Make up your mind.

Are you ignorant?

Or are you intelligent?

Are you a dignitary, intellectual, educator or religious leader who fancies him/herself intelligent
but simply refuse to ignore your own ignorance all in an effort to try and control a thing that you
haven’t the power to control?

That’s ignorant.
And you can’t have it both ways.
You cannot expect people to fancy you dignified, an intellectual or educated but expect that all around
you starts and stops where your very own personal tastes, standards, beliefs and ego lie.
I’m sorry-it doesn’t work like that.

FLASHBACK:
Regardless your walk of life, we all have them.
You know, those lil’ old ladies and lil’ old men who will tear a new hole into your butt for behaving
or speaking in a way that was frowned upon [and some-in their day and time] would have even gotten you
killed.
The kind that will insult us from head to toe-and all we should do in return is giggle.
Well, the thing about those lil’ old ladies and men, be they in our families or in our hoods; they do
not care to, have not worked for, nor do they strive to be “viewed” or considered dignitary/intellectual etc.
They simply are who they are (and out of respect for them-and what they are used to) it is expected that we
tip-toe around them and curb our worldly ways around them. And as well-we should.
They get a “pass.”
They are allowed to be as “battle-axey” as they please-without incident, upset or the mere thought
of disrespect.
Why?
Because usually, those kinds of lil’ old ladies and lil’ old men, have not been exposed to worldly things
in areas of education-leading them to more “dignified and intellectual” personas.
They are “TIME.” They represent “time” through many ages, generations and moments in time.
They have seen and experienced things that only history books collect-and some: none. Only memories in
their timeless minds.
They have lived lives one day at a time and raised and reared their families-generation to generation.
And because they do not present themselves as having been privy to that other side of life, they should
be respected in ways that we tip-toe around them and “Yes-ma’am” and “No Ma’am” and “No Sir” them so much
so that they begin to feel like it is apart of their name.
Our way with them should be toned down to what they are used to (as respectful as we can
and as best that we know how to-because the fact still remains; we live and have been brought up in a different
time in life).
These elders are dignitaries nonetheless-they are our superstars of time.
It is an honor to be asked by them to…go to the store for them, do their hair for them, be there cabbie
for the day, help clean their house, wash their feet, clip their toenails-it’s an honor.
It is an honor to be acknowledged by them-even if it is to simply do something for them.
When you are around these types, if you have any ounce of humility and respect about yourself as well as their
life’s climb; you should feel almost child-like.

ONT THE CONTRARY:
Does that mean our elder men and women who are intellectuals, dignitaries (etc). should be respected
any less?
No.

But there is a difference-a different set of responsibilities expected of them, as they too, have their
own set responsibilities and expectations placed upon us.
It’s simple.

When you (as an elder man or woman) have been exposed to a side of life and education where, because of,
you fancy yourself a dignitary, and intellectual, a leader (religious or otherwise) etc.; that means that
you have been exposed to a side of life that the average elder has not.
Your horizons have been expanded.
The other kind of elders (unfortunately) have not.
You expect to be respected as not only an elder, but as a dignitary, intellectual, leader etc.
They just expect to be respected on having lived lives and raised and reared families.
With being an intellectual, dignitary or leader (young or elder), there are set of responsibilities that
you have to adhere to and abide by:
Acceptance.
And as an educated dignitary, intellectual, or leader; you are educated enough to know that acceptance
does not necessarily mean “agreeing” on a thing.
It simply means that we you are humble enough and unassuming enough to acknowledge and recognize that
other things and ways of life and time exist around you-other than what is in your immediate grasp-regardless
your subscription to it or no.

That is the difference between the elders of the old/”old-school” and the elders of the old-
co-existing with the “new school.”

So…What’s it gonna be?
Who are you gonna be?

NEVER FORGET:
Whenever we have a persona, label or title we expect others to respect and see us as, it’s never just-
“one-sided.” We, too have a responsibility-and that responsibility is not just all about us and our views,
standards and likes. We have to share and respect other’s-regardless how we feel about it or them.
When we are “intelligent/dignitaries,” we recognize, utilize, separate and use rationale as the divide between
our emotions and logic.

Education is not so much about learning “how to do” a certain thing in a field as it is the experience
afforded you: the accessibility of various subjects and fields of study that help you expand your thoughts
and questions-provide answers to things that we contemplate and consider.
“Education” is something we uncover down to the types of people in the world we work and live in.
And as an intellectual/dignitary/educated person; you are expected to know how to “accept” all; accordingly.

Like being married, for instance.
You can run around flagging a marriage certificate and a ring claiming “now married,” until you’re blue
in the face. But the bigger picture is the fact that there is responsibility involved in some things behind
that piece of paper.
That responsibility is the fact that it’s no longer about just-“you,” (alone).
It’s now about you and your significant other.

Same thing goes for claiming a degree of any kind.
We “educated” people get so caught up in our titles, labels and certificates, that we think it stops
there. The responsibility behind that certificate that we earn or work towards earning, is the fact that-that
degrees states that we made or are making certain sacrifices.
And within those sacrifices, we are forced to spend a great majority of our time: thinking, reading, studying
and testing from various subjects-all things that further expand our horizons.
Therefore, holding that certificate or working towards one; require that you not only throw your label,
title or accomplishment around; you now are expected to apply it.
Not just in your field of study, but apply the fact that your horizons have been expanded.
Your fellow man should be in receipt of this awareness in you-from you, versus the average (uneducated) person whose
horizons have not been expanded.
(Obviously, education is not the only “horizon expander.” Life experience is as well). And if you fancy
yourself mentally and spiritually elevated and a Life Student-you too, have a responsibility to apply the fact
that your horizons have been expanded as well.
That is the part of “education” and “being educated” that “educated people” forget [and some-don’t
even know] after the books are paid for, read and closed.

At some point, in your dignified, intelligent, religious or educated life, you are going to have to “accept” and
come to terms with that fact that time ticks into the future.

We cannot hold on to time (as much as we would love to), and while apart of living in this ticking of time into the
future; you also have to remove your label or whatever you subscribe to-with the understanding that not only does
this world revolve, it does not revolve around “you.”

The best that you can do is:
-mentor where you can
-mentor when you can
-mentor where it is wanted
-mentor where it is well-received.

If you are (truly) intelligent and educated and dignified, you do not press upon other people who too, share this
world with you, your views by way of cryptic, defamatory and aggressive tactics just to get your
point across in hopes that they will dignify [what is essentially your: ignorance, need for attention and control]
of a society for which you do not govern or own.
And interjecting God into the pot to ride shotgun (with your personal hang-ups does not count.
Because you are not God).

If you are intelligent and dignified and educated, you would know somewhere along the lines
and throughout the passing of time, charity starting at home and then spreading abroad, each one teaching one
and being the change that we wish to see in the world…somewhere along that careful passing down of “the way things
were” versus “the way things are,” somebody: neglected the lesson, rejected the
lesson or was not given the lesson-something you will never be able to pinpoint where, how or at what point.

How do I know this?
Because this world is imperfect and unpredictable in all its relative splendor.
Goose and Gander.
Throw it in the pot!

As you get older and fancy yourself wiser, at some point, you are going to haveto accept that time
and people will never be the way they were in your yesteryear. Grow up.

Chicken.
Throw it in the pot!
Nothing irks me more than for people [who fancy themselves: older and wiser, dignified, educated,
rational, logical and reasonable] to forget that they were once too, 20-30 something, but refuse to acknowledge and
let go of the fact (much to their dismay, upset and disapproval), that life at their 20-30 somethings,
was at a different time in life (in America)

Grow up.

Be dignified.

Prove that you are educated, wise, rational and logical.

But more importantly realize the best you can do is evolve (with the times).
As the world revolves, you have to: live and let be.

Beef.
Throw it in the pot!
BE dignified enough to refrain from judgment, and attack on a thing for which you cannot control or change
(like at least she obviously was advised to do-seeing as thought her Twitter responses were removed):

But on an ironic and lighter note.
If you are going to go on a full-on attack a recording “artist”…“performing,” please make sure that you are not
photographed out frolicking, smiling from ear to ear and hob-knobbing (no pun intended), with someone who earned
the moniker: “Superhead” because of “performing” too.
You cannot convince the world that none of the Brothers in the Nation of Islam (following and guarding you)
did not tell you who she was before the photo op-I refuse to believe that. LoL.
They keep their ears to the street just as you do to pop culture-hence how you ran upon Rihanna. LoL.

Not judging her-but rather, Farrakhan’s obvious oxymoron.

Smh.

*throws hands in the air*

Just charge it to the game and admit that you like the limelight, paparazzi, propaganda, attention garnering and publicity-justlike: Rihanna’s occupation’s grind (and um-Superhead, too).

So, (let you tell it) anyone who gives audience to Rihanna’s “stage” antics is, too:
Swine.
Throw it in the pot!

The irony of that is-quite a few people have an opinion about anyone giving audience to Superhead as well (but, we’ll just charge that to the game as well).

And as a bonus, I will even give you credit for being too dignified, too intelligent, too educated, too intellectual (and too old) to know about all-a-‘dat 🙂

P.s.
I could so caption the above these 2 pics-but even in all the laughter and humor of it all, that would open up a whole n’other can of worms. LoL.



{February 19, 2011}   Assuming Positions.


This blog, here, is one that I originally started on February 4th, 2011.
It had been on my mind to blog about there are so many avenues within the
issues/subject matters itself that I wanted to touch on-while still getting
my point/message across to my blog readers, because…(let me explain how I run
what I write on my blog)
…BEFORE READING ON, IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY, CLICK HERE OR SCROLL UP TO THE BOTTOM/1ST BLOG CALLED “ABOUT THIS BLOG”
AND SCROLL DOWN TO THE SECTION THAT READS: “THE ‘SCOPE’ OF THIS BLOG SITE.”
Because this particular blog definitely begs for elaboration by
prefacing what I am about to blog about, by having read that section.

Read it?
LoL.
Okay, here we go:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Regardless of how independent we are, or how much we love the company of
ourselves and can stand to be alone with ourselves for any amount of time
(some people can’t); a sense of belongingness is something that is just as
much apart of a human need (of any mentally and emotionally healthy individual).
It just is.
If we refer to what’s know in psychology as “Maslow’s Pyramid/Hierarchy of Needs”
(which is something I could not disagree with), we probably both would agree with
him in that the mentally and emotionally healthy human being and thriving and
functioning member of society would first secure his/her:
(1) Physical needs (for air, water, food, rest, exercise, and
awareness that freedom from diseases and disabilities are lifelong “goals” in order to
have a basic healthy quality of life).

(2) Security needs (for safety, shelter and stability-self-explanatory).

(3) Social needs (the need for being loved, belongingness and feeling included-self-explanatory).

(((4))) Ego (the need for self-esteem, power, recognition, prestige-met
through external sources of achievement and recognition via promotions/bonuses and other
perks that make us feel validated, no matter how “independent” we are, we all still have
that physiological need in order for us to thrive).

(((5))) Self-Actualization (the need for development and
creativity-met through autonomy and achievement).

The Game of Life (and Our Positions in it) Really is a Pyramid.

#1. (very bottom of the pyramid-PHYSICAL)
We cannot survive and/or live a healthy life without #1

#2. (second from the bottom of the pyramid-SECURITY)
We either go into what’s psychologically known as “fight or flight” mode if we cannot
secure #2 (when we are mentally and emotionally healthy). If by some unfortunate circumstance,
we lose the “fight or flight” will in #2, we succumb to the circumstance: spiritually and
emotionally and as [per society eyes] are considered not a “normal functioning” member of it.
Various things happen from there on.

#3. (third up from the bottom of the pyramid-SOCIAL)
Where that need is concerned, it all varies from person to person to one degree or another-example.
I know that you probably know some people who spend some much of their life’s time attaching
themselves to organizations and all things external for the sake of saying that they belong
to a thing that at the end of the day, when all is said and done and “belonged out,” they don’t
even belong to themselves. We all know one or a few people in our lives like that. There are others
who are content with belonging to a steady job and a church. Yet, there are others who are most
content belonging to certain social groups that…make them feel or give them the “illusion”
that #4 and # 5 is being obtained by way of their #3 social need of belonging.

…Whereas the evolved, financially, emotionally and mentally self-sufficient human being
is aware that (4) and number (5) has work that comes with that…
It’s not a matter of securing numbers (1) through (3) and bouncing in an assumed position
of (4) and (5).

A lot of people meet their emotional, mental, occupational, financial, and spiritual demise #3.
That is the point where we are more apt to project our negative emotions and dissatisfaction
with our selves and this life onto others (who appear to be on and up to 4 and 5).
And we neglect to earn or work our way to spots 4 and 5.
When that is the case, we find ourselves in all kinds of hurtful situations-trying to: get
there, be there as maintain our (assumed) position-there (if we arrive at 4 and 5 without
having worked/earned our way there).

In order to reach numbers (4) and (5)-Ya’ ‘gotta “WORK” for it!.

If you reach (4) and (5) and you did not work for it-that means: Ya’ ‘gotta “PLAY” for it!

…and if you don’t know how to play the game, that means you have assumed a position in which
you were not: personally, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and socially adept enough to handle,
therefore, you will definitely get played with no one to blame but yourself.

Good news though.
We can blame that on one or two things:
-sheer naivete’ (being stuck at number (3) in life and having no clue how to reach number
(4) and number (5) of the pyramid)
-assumption, presumption or greed (being stuck in number (3) in life and not willing to
work for/earn number (4) and number (5)

Of the two things that we can blame it on, they are relative and in the hands of:
-he who judges the situation
-or, you, who (if true to yourself about the situation) can be realistic and come to terms
with how you lost in the game and come up with a new game plan with what to do about it
(next) time or do different, i.e (not play the game but-work for it).

As I’ve watched the reality show “Basketball Wives,” I ascertained (in Season 1)
that Shaunie O’Neal (Shaquille O’Neal’s ex-wife), was indeed the Queen Bee and captain.
(I am more than sure Gloria would object to that moniker, but in the role of the socialization
of this group/team in particular…she is).
Within this team, if you’re going to “play the game,” (by climbing up the pyramid to
number (4) and number (5) straight from number (3); by socialization alone;
if you are going to “play” on the team-you do have to acknowledge the captain-even
if you do not like the captain. And more importantly, if that captain is not you-know must
know (and know how to play) your position…
Do NOT “assume” it-not matter how “included” you may feel…

That is the pitfall of “socially climbing” up from “hierarchy need” number (3),
straight into number (4) and number (5) having not “worked” for it-and in this case:
stepping into the paint to play the game.
Having gone that route, if you are not socially adept and do not know how to play
the game and you do not know your position and how to play it, you are indeed in for a rude awakening…

The psychology of it all…we’re done with…
Now, it’s time to take it to the streets, brass taxes and Laymen’s terms…
Which brings me back to Royce…

…in all her naivete’ ‘s/assumptive/presumptive splendor.

As I watched the Reunion Special of Season 1 where Royce began to cry and thank
Shaunie for welcoming her into their circle, the look on Shaunie’s face
(in addition to Royce’s already undervalued position within this team) told me
(last Season) that she (Royce) was in for one rude-awakening…

It was sad to me because Royce’s tears and what she said to Shaunie was really sincere.
And the empathetic me-throughout my lifetime-has seen all too well, that same kind of
emotion displayed to people deemed “popular,” from people who were undervalued in social
circles (not as vocally demonstrative and open as Royce ingratiating herself to Shaunie at
the Reunion 1 show), but more physically demonstrative (of the same).

That happened to me before.

Quite unexpected, and in the middle of a regular conversation between girls, a friend
ingratiated herself to me-in that same manner and with those same tears as Royce.
Yet, my friend confessed something to me that happened some years ago-from way back
when we were kids. She said to me:
“Angie, and I just need to tell you something. I wanna just thank you so much…so-so
much for being a friend to me and accepting me for being just the way I was. I was nappy-head,
poor, my shoes had holes in them. I had 3 outfits to mix and match for 7-days a week.
I had no school supplies and could not make it to school some days because of those issues.
We were homeless and living from shelter-to-relative. I would be at school
(when I could make it there) with my feet literally touching the ground-from holes being
in the bottoms of my shoes.
Yet, when I would see you with all your friends; popular and not a care in the world-you
would always welcome me in and hug me. Those days in school for me-Angie-would really take
my mind off what I was going through. I looked forward to coming to school a lot of
days-because of you. At home and in the neighborhoods, and even when I left your presence
at school, it was really hard for me-the ridicule and laughter and stuff. And I just want
to thank you for being a friend to me. That really meant a lot to me.
I made it through a lot of days thanks to you. I really felt special. Thank you so much.”

She cried her heart out.
When she said that to me-I was speechless and I cried my heart out, too.

She expressed that to me over the recent years. But every time I think about it-I can’t help
but cry. What she revealed to me, is still a shock to me and saddens me. Because I knew none
of those things were going on in her life, or her appearance even being as such. I just wasn’t
looking at that. She could sing and dance. And I liked her-so, that was all I saw and remembered.

(And for the record-this very moment in time-I am very disappointed
in that particular friend right now), but still, as I write this or if I think about it-I cry.
Her candidness and her (true) heart, is something altogether different than my ill feelings for
her (right now). Ill, so much so, that forfeiting our friendship is on heavy rotation in my mind
right now. That’s about how serious it is. But still, that’s still a separate thing to me
(from what she expressed to me a short time ago). I know what she felt was real-despite what we
are going through now. But that’s just me. Regardless of what ill feelings I may have for you,
if you bring me your heart and your truth, I can’t help but respond…and to feel…I’m a master
at deciphering what’s real (where I am concerned)…so I know truth (when it comes TO me).

So, when Royce expressed that same emotion on national television (however, as a grown woman to
another grown woman) about being accepted by her and into a circle as an adult (versus my friend
confessing the same to me-however, about when we were kids) obviously my heart went out to Royce.

I understand that Royce (a former NBA League Dancer/Cheerleader) and Shaunie (a former NBA Player’s wife),
are not, and have never been friends like my friend and me.
Yet, when I saw Shaunie’s response, (knowing-personally-how that felt to have someone
cry in front of you and ingratiate
themselves to you) despite their closeness (or lack thereof), I can’t lie-I thought Shaunie was evil.

Her lukewarm response, with that fake: “Oh don’t make me cry,” reply, made me say aloud:
“Oh you evil bitch. You don’t care.”
I rolled my eyes in my head.
(That was my emotional me, speaking aloud-having had someone pour themselves out to me in
that same way as well).

But then (like I said in the “‘SCOPE’ OF THIS BLOG SITE” section);
when I am watching these reality shows, I’m more interested in the social dynamics behind it all.
Because (with television/entertainment-period) it’s not worth it to you to try and decipher what’s
real or fake (if you have a life of your own to tend to).
Simple as that.
So, my life as a writer/blog post: “Assuming Positions” (by observation of group dynamics of
Basketball Wives…here we go…Emotion aside):

Shaunie: the producer of the show, slash former NBA players wife, slash Queen Bee slash
Captain of the team had a job to do.

Royce: former NBA Dance Team Cheerleader, slash ex-girlfriend and baby mama of an NBA player,
who ingratiated herself to the Queen Bee slash Captain of the team (circle), right in front of
the remaining Bee’s…(who are all wives and ex-fiance’s of NBA Players)…was going to have hell
to pay in order to maintain her position within that social circle (that she was so graciously
accepted into), that, at the end of the day-was only good for social positioning, television
and business.
Not personal, but Royce saw differently.

Any good producer would have allowed Royce in.
That producer just so happened to be Shaunie…

In Season 1, Royce’s acceptance in, put her in a position where unfortunately, she (obviously)
did not understand that within the social circle (team), she was the inferior one and least valued.

Why?
She asked in and then ingratiated herself and unlike the other girls (wives and ex’s of the NBA Player’s),
Royce’s association to the NBA (in all of their eyes) is pretty much a “groupie” who most probably
associates with other “groupies.”

It was sad (but very obvious) that Royce going to bat for these girls. Being apart of events,
fights, playing the mediator on in-fighting between other Basketball Wives and girlfriends and
having a big fallout with the most hated Basketball Wife (Gloria-who Shaunie, secretly, hated the
most, as it was alleged that Gloria’s sister slept with her husband Shaq).

During the entire Season 1 and into Season 2, Royce put in so much work, where I could see
(being naïve about the REAL reality of it all) she probably thought that with all the work she
was putting in-she too, was “one of the girls.”

No, that would never happen.

Royce could never be accepted as an “equal” on that team (circle) because of her association
in it all: “groupie”-in all their eyes. That won’t change.
Whereas amongst one another, they were ex’s and wives-they share a kind of kinship-friendship.

I could see how Royce so naively thought all her hard work paying off-even down to taking her
shoes off during Tami’s (an ex-BB wife) and Jennifer’s (a BB wife)’s fight .

Tami even stated: “Nobody CARES what Royce even THINKS!”

Reality check.

You can take off your shoes, slap Vaseline on your face and take off as many earrings as
you wish-to prove your alliance, zeal and dedication.
But even amongst in-fighting of these BB wives, Royce will never earn her keep or place
in a circle as such. But she was too naïve to understand her position because she was too busy
(literally) in the middle of everything trying to solidify her place in it.

But then she got that rude awakening in the worse way.
When she had an event that was important to her and wanted Evelyn, Jennifer an Suzie to attend.

Newsflash:

When you ingratiate yourself to the Queen Bee (especially considering Royce’s undervalued position),
never-ever think that anything important to your will be a concern of theirs if the Queen Bee ‘aint coming.
In that social circle, Royce can’t move anything without Shaunie agreeing to move the hive.
Love it or hate it, Shaunie’s the Captain and Queen Bee and the one who Royce ingratiated
herself to-therefore, everything important to Royce has to be important to Shaunie-first.

Royce didn’t understand that.

Bless her heart.

But I couldn’t understand Royce reprimanding Evelyn, Jennifer and Suzie. She was wayyyy
out of line and mistook her position.
Evelyn and Jennifer laughed at her.
Suzie (though “defunct” from the circle), really had no interest or care either.

Royce confronts Suzie

Evelyn and Jennifer by phone to Royce

I felt bad for Royce because it was painfully obvious that she did not understand her position.
Her assumption about it was spiraling out of control.
She was making her rounds chin-checking everybody like she was really “A Basketball Wife” and “one of the girls.”

No.

In (producer)’s eyes…This is television.
Royce was good for business/television.
The help in the fights was good for television too.

No matter what battles Royce fought-they are wives of ball players. And as far as they (will always be concerned)
Royce is the baby mama of a ball player whose way in was by doing a groupie’s job (being on a NBA Dance Team).

Harsh.
But that was the reality of the reality…

Moral of the story.
When it comes down to group dynamics, (something we all find ourselves in at sometime in life,
regardless the level or whatever extreme), it is always important to ask yourself: “Why am I here?”
and “What makes me invaluable or necessary as well?”

It was all no different than, let’s say, Shaq.

His 3-point shots were always suspect, but his position on the team wasn’t “3-Point Shooter.”
His actual position, is what kept him on the team, not so much his contribution to it (3-point shooting).

In Royce’s situation, all that fighting, all that mediating, all that work she put in; she assumed
she was solidifying a “position,” when those things were merely “contributions.”

She never had a “position” within that team (circle).

But let me level the playing field for them all…

The bright side about it (in Royce’s favor), regardless of all this Twitter
fighting back and forth…

…is that at the end of the day, outside of the team (circle),
they are all on the same team, and in the same circle, stuck at hierarchy
#3; all having been brought into hierarchy #4 and #5 by social climb and association as “Wife,”
by their NBA husbands and ex-fiancés (just like Royce by her ex/NBA fiancé/baby-daddy as well).

That’s the “real” reality-in all fairness to all of them. (Well, maybe except for Jennifer
because her dad drove her to middle school in a Porsche!) j/k.

LoL.

But, all jokes and hurt aside, when it’s all said and done, outside of their little matrix,
no one is any less or greater in relevancy than the next.

Because neither one of them “worked” to reach hierarchy #4 and hierarchy #5- they ALL married,
dated, or baby-mama’d into it JUST the same.
The “work” involved, was merely “earning” the title of “wife” and maintaining that title…



{February 17, 2011}   Competency About Competition.



We all love a friendly [or even a heated and intense] game of competition
where the ball is being: bounced, thrown, caught or hit.

Though competition [is first] for the courts or fields; in the game of life
(when you are alive and living it); you cannot ignore the game of
“survival of the fittest” (a moniker given behind the psychology of it all,
but typically expressed when describing the game of life in the wild-for sure).

Roar, because the ball is in your court now.

Catch this:

When whatever it is that you do, you do it firstly (for you) and it
fulfills you (whether you or not you are paid for it) and that thing is
like second-nature to you; then that thing is a blessing that was gifted
to you-therefore, you have no competition.
What you have is called: CONTENDERS and RUNNER UP’s.

Those contenders are: time and other life demands that compete with you for
your time-pulling for your attention; asking from you-your undivided.
You know-that same reciprocal thing that you in turn ask for: time for yourself,
to practice and hone in on doing whatever it is you were blessed with.

Now beat this:

When and with whom did the Creator have competition with?

Counting down: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Game over. No thing, no one.
High score: Infinite.
Competitor: None.

That said, anything that you are blessed with is a gift from the Creator.
So if the Creator gifted it to you-it is already your “win.”
You have no “competitors,” only contenders of time and the demands of life.
Outside of that, you only have runner ups: those who put themselves into (an imagined)
competition with you because they are the ones scrapping, fighting and ripping at you as
if they haven’t their own blessings.

Foul play.
They have not taken the time to hone in on and discover what (or who) they are.

Scored tied.

Sometimes their blessings can be the same as yours, yet, they’re too busy concerning themselves
with your blessings to discover ways to use and unique their own.

In this lifetime, whether creative or technical, you have to know (and accept) that there is
pretty much nothing “new” under the sun. There are only new ways to do it or present it.
You cannot present a new way to do any thing until you learn to unique your own way of being
and doing a thing.

Game on.
Sometimes in order to do so, selfishness is a prerequisite.

Have you ever been called “selfish?”

I’m not talking about being called selfish with your money or other materialisms.

I’m not even talking about being called selfish because you’re the type who can dominate a
conversation with all things “you” so much so, that by the time the other person speaks,
you’re now out of time to listen.

I’m talking about the kind of selfishness where you have been so enthralled and caught up in
loving, honing in on and working at something so much, that you’ve been called “selfish” a time
or two (because that was your order of importance or priority) over anything else-that’s the kind
of selfish I am talking about.

That kind of “selfishness” is something that is not such much about the working on/at a particular
blessing of talent, or skill; but rather-the repetition and practice of a thing that creates not only
preparation (should opportunity arise), but yields one thing on top of another thing on top of another
thing, where, because of this habit (in its due time) you will have created many things (regardless
if it was through talent and skills or practice and will).
Habitually having done one thing on top of another thing, if a (negative) challenge (or opportunity)
presents itself, you are prepared, packaged and ready to get it crackin.’

The point of that is this.
Be it through the blessing of talent or skill or discipline and will; sometimes being a little bit
“selfish” (by my abovementioned definition) will put you ahead of the game (whatever that game may be).

Because people only feel a sense of competition with you when they are one, or all these things:
a) Feel that you are better than them at a thing
b) Wish that they, too, could do/be that thing
c) They are not prepared (even if they could do the same thing)

Don’t misinterpret what I am saying about preparation, because for some of us, some of our best is bred
as a result of being under time restraints and pressure. So when we are challenged by a “friendly”
game of “competition” (a business deadline or opportunity), the right kind of adrenaline gets to
pumping and that creative juice starts to flow, we can create masterpieces.

But when someone catapults you into an unfriendly game of “competition,” be competent about the
competition.
Competent meaning: be realistic about your ability to demonstrate how prepared you are to rise to
the challenge (of your unfriendly competition’s preparedness)-not their talent, not their skills,
not their ability (even if in your eyes-lack thereof, as compared to yours)…

Regardless of a presentable past or reputation to have done or the ability to do a thing, when you
answer and step up to an unfriendly game of competition (at the end of the day), being competent about it,
is what will make you the winner or the loser.

You do not have to answer to negative every challenge you are invited to.
Sometimes our occupations…our surroundings and even the people we think love us are all up in our
ears and ego, sending us spiraling out of control. When we answer to challenge for which we are not
quite prepared for, we look almost like we are hurriedly throwing boxes out of window with the landlord
and bailiff at the door-coming to put us out.

Have you ever been in a rush because you were running late for something very important and while leaving,
you can’t find your keys, your left shoe, your credit card and all things of importance?
All the while, that moment is approaching and you and your things are all over the place.
Eventually you gather them all, hop in the car, step on the gas and go full steam ahead trying to get there.
By the time you pull up to your destination, you’re still huffing and puffing and meanwhile, everybody turns
to look at you like” “what the hell?” (Happened to me-just the other day) LoL. At any rate.

You look out of control to them.
Not so much as “out of control/crazy,” but out of control/unprepared (rather than prepared, relaxed and ready
to get it crackin’)…
Not being prepared does not make you a loser. It simply makes you unprepared to win.
Not being prepared but answering to the prepared, simply makes you look like the loser-even if you know
(and all else know) you are a winner.

The preparation and package is what’s palpable. Not your past, parlance or pandemonium.
Because when all the roaring dies down, the winner of the game is the one who proved themselves most prepared
with the complete and delivered package presented…

Excuse my French and in my Antoine Dodson voice I’ll forewarn: “Hide ya eyes!”

Fuck boxes.
At the end of the day, nobody gives a damn about boxes.
They only hold things that are in preparation for the up and out!

Package, tighten and hold on to your respect for your blessed talent or skills before answering a
challenge unprepared-especially if you want to maintain respect for your talent or skills because as
harsh as it sounds, people love to kick you when you’re down, give audience when you clown or look desperate
for money, attention, relevancy and significance.
They don’t love you.
They make a mockery of your wrong moves (even when they know that your talents or skills outweigh your
wrong moves)…
What went out the window will be all they remember-no matter how much they claim to love you, support
and keep it real with you…

Look at Super Bowl Night, though Christina Aguellera is known for her talent, skill and ability to sing a hole
in a wall if she wanted to, the only thing the world cared about was the fact that she showed up unprepared.
And that’s what they hung onto.
Anything else about her regarding what she could and did do-went straight out the window.

Moral of the story is this.
When you know who you are, and you know what your blessings are-then you stand in the middle of that.
Go back to being a little bit “selfish,” and not only will you come back prepared and ready, but competent in
how to handle your functions with your contenders and runners up.
When you stand “selfishly” in your blessings and who you are, your contenders and runner up’s can never mistake
their positions.

With Love, Angela



{February 10, 2011}   The Old Man with the Can.


Everyone laughed, (including me).
He was startled.
The frown in his brow had the familiar look as if he had heard
those kinds of taunts one time too many, and especially here of late.
He tightened his utility belt and gathered his bags, and extra-large
heavy-duty garbage can then pushed it to the center of the isle.

My eyes met his.
I could feel his heart beating and a mile a minute; matching the
uneasiness he was feeling from everyone laughing so loud and so
hard…belly laughs.

I had to let him know that the burst of laughter had nothing to do
with him at all. (I only had a few seconds to communicate this without literally
communicating it to him). So I looked at the guy and girl who were the
subjects of the laughter:
“Oh man, you should have seen you two guys both sitting right next to each
other-chair-to-chair; both of you nodding and falling asleep in unison.
I’ve never seen anything like that!”
I lead.

(Everyone began to adlib and imitate the sources of our laughter).

I looked back up at the man and gave him a respectful nod and said to him:
I beg your pardon,” while using my hands to demonstrate the need for
all of us to make room in the isle for him to walk through.

He relaxed his brow.
Although his heart beat slowed down a bit, he still did not fully trust me,
(so he gave me an “e” for effort).

I handed it right back to him though (mine was for empathy).
Because I understood…
That startled expression on his face told me everything I needed to know…
Regardless, even if he were in a $3000 double-breasted Italian suit and $800
leather shoes, I still saw a man-a man whose face and facial expression had a
story to tell.

He had cleaned enough office buildings, and walked through far too many isles
to this same kind of laughter (most probably about him: An aging veteran,
insisting on working any job available to him. He would much rather die on one
of the many floors he swept, vacuumed and mopped than to die at home on his own
floor-doing nothing but pacing it).
I could tell.

I knew his story…
While turning the pages of it, I could tell that he had experienced life as-was
now caught up into life as-is.
It read:
“Look at all these inconsiderate kids in this isle. Computers, laughing and
playing on the job-sitting on their asses most probably watching new-age cartoons
and playing video games 90% of the day. Probably doing real work only the other 10% of it.
They have no idea what “real” work is. Neither one of ’em haven’t a
callous on their hands or a real soul in their chests-insensitive, pompous assholes and
inglorious bastards, these kids are. No care in the world and especially none for the next man.
I could sit and tire them all out with stories of what “real” hard work is.
They couldn’t even handle it in a conversation; much less entertain the thought of doing it!”

I closed the page of his book and watched him walk through the isle with his extra-large
heavy duty garbage can leading the way.
Still, I sent him packing and off with that respectful nod, letting him know that
I read his story.
Final score:
E: Empathy for Him.
E: Effort from Me, (still) 😦

And still…I went home to my “as-is” life, and my “as-is” living: A side of hurry up-no wait,
wrapped with everything in an instant.
Ah.
Yes!
This is life!
Gratification.
Gulf.
Burppppppppppppppppppppp.

I thought nothing of the old man for the next twenty-four to thirty-six hours.

Then, he reappeared.
Same bat-time.
Same bat-channel.

We were all turned to the computers (actually doing “real” work as we knew it).
The isle was free and clear.
It was quiet this time.
Not so quiet that you could hear a pin drop, but you could hear the keys of about ten hands
(free of calluses) typing at a speed that was still unimpressive to the old man.
No one seemed to be impressed with him either-ever, he didn’t even exist.
His presence was so unacknowledged and unimpressive that, if he was crazy and wanted
to do anything crazy; no one in the whole office could probably even identify him.

As if I had eyes on the sides and back of my head, while still typing, I watched as
he would do his norm: reach under or around each of us at our cubicles-in search of
our mini garbage cans filled with soda-cans, paper and snack wrappers from having eaten
all day (allegedly, while working -so his mind said, and I read in this open book of his).
I read on:
“I hope none of you spilled anything that’ll smell,” said the man.
“Because I’m going to grab and dump-no new clear plastic baggies for you little
boys and girls,”
he laughed to himself.

By the time he got closer to my cubicle, I quietly turned to look at him across from me,
dumping my co-workers mini garbage can-still lined with the same liner warmed-over and over and over.

I turned my head quickly, so that he couldn’t see me stare while reading his book.
I closed it quickly.

Instead of the norm and what he was used to happening to him floor wide;
I had to show him different.
I had to show him that someone acknowledged his hard work and that it was work nonetheless.
I had to show him that not all boys and girls were inglorious, pompous, insensitive and
inconsiderate bastards, and that sometimes-we just get swept away in our own little
cubicles of the world and only tend only to (unfortunately).
Blame it on the as-is (or just, as we are)-still, I wanted him to know that he was
appreciated and that if no one read his book, I at least did.
So instead of having him bend down and underneath the cubicle desk where I sat,
in search of my mini garbage can; I took it upon myself to reach under and hand it to him-making
sure that I still acknowledged his presence while still typing onto my computer.
Like a kind of curtsy, along with the mini garbage can; I also handed him a nod, a friendly smile,
and a barely-there whisper that could be read by eyes: “Hello to you sir.”
He returned the nod.
I read his lips and barely-there whisper:
“And hello to you,” he smiled back.

I continued to type and noticed that it was taking a longer than usual time for him to
hand back to me-my mini garbage can, so I slowed down and turned to my right to look at him.

He smiled again and placed his index finger in the air to signal for me to “wait.”
He winked at me as if he had a secret he was a about to tell me.
I smiled.
He then reached into his utility belt wrapped around his body to get a
new clear plastic bag for my mini garbage can, and snapped it open like
a magician performing a magic trick!
I smiled harder (as did my heart).
“Thank you,” I barely whispered-and he read…
“You are quite welcome-thank you,” he barely whispered (and I read).

He insisted on replacing my newly decorated can neatly- and back in place beneath my desk.
Yet this time, like the proud man and gentleman he was, he wanted to return the mini
garbage can in its rightful place as a gesture of appreciation for merely being acknowledged,
respected and appreciated-all without having said or done much of anything but a mere look
in the eye, a barely-there whisper, a nod, and a smile.
He did me one better.
He wiped down the sides of my cubicle with something smelled like heaven.
And me (with all my “as-is” life-living in all its splendor), I somehow felt
“special” …in an “as-was” kinda way.
The smile on my face probably matched the feeling I could tell he probably had never
felt in many years: the acknowledgement of a hard-working old man who would probably
out-work the average young man.
I just had to let him know; somehow, someway, someday-that I noticed if no one else did.
I simply cannot explain to you (in words) how much that meant to me, too-being acknowledged by him-(too).
We both got something out of mere gestures of kindness that did not even require conversation.

You know.

Sometimes we get caught up into our la-di-da lives and whether selfishness is to blame,
or the mere routine of having tunnel vision is to blame; we have to slow down sometimes
and acknowledge the fact that there are people in the world around us who
[if they receive nothing but a mere smile and nod] could make their day.
You never know someone else’s story, what they are feeling or what they have gone
through that put them in or out of a situation that they are in.
Everyone’s (true) story is not always on their sleeve, their forehead, behind their
smile [or in our as-is lives]; on some internet wall.
Simply because we may not identify with some things or some people in the world around us,
does not mean that they or those things will just-go away: poof and be gone.
A mere leg turned to the side to allow someone to reach beneath you to grab a garbage can
without so much as looking up to acknowledge their presence can communicate: “Poof! Be gone!”
Continuing to work and if not acknowledging them by looking them in the eye, but rather,
merely saying: “thank you,” is acknowledgment nonetheless.
So be that as it may… smile at someone today.
You never know, it just might make their day.

(And at the very least, make your desk cleaner than your neighbors) 🙂

The end…



{February 5, 2011}   Game: Recognizing Game.


For the record, keep in mind, one of the purposes of my blogging (when I blog about things like this type of thing)
is not to judge, but rather- give an opinion that is not mean-spirited and hurtful. It’s enough of that going around.
So, I won’t blog about things like this just to throw my opinion around and be mean; I will only blog about things
like this when I feel there is a lesson in it
(like I did in my blog posting: “The Voice of Reason When We Are Being Unreasonable”).

I have to admit, I am bit androgynous mentally and emotionally.
Figuratively speaking, I’m also a bit four-eyed and wear bifocal lenses at times.
Other times, I see through single-vision lenses.

As I sit here, watching a re-run of “Basketball Wives,” I can’t help but put the conversation that
is in my mind here on paper.

Evelyn and Chad.

As I’ve gotten to know the show, I have gathered about Evelyn-that she could possibly
be a good person off-camera. When I watch reality television, I try to put my judgment aside
when it comes to people’s personality as displayed on these reality shows, because often times,
it is exaggerated (be it by their own doing or “editing,”-that popular excuse).

The arm-chair quarterback in me can’t help but evaluate Evelyn and her literal quarterback: Chad.

I say this from the female part of me that wears a male thinking cap:
I have been in the heads of many, observed and experienced a lot.
The female side of me, after getting to know the show, observed that despite how rough and
tough Evelyn appears; she is the most delicate at heart. One conversation about her divorce
situation can send her talking with tears in her voice. We’ve all seen it. It’s an obvious
soft-spot with her.

As I observe, I can’t help but arm-chair quarterback these words out to the screen as I watch:
“Are you serious? I know that Chad is handsome, great body, charming, rich and popular, but if
you are smart, when it comes to Chad, I would reach in my heart and pull out that one emotion
that all of us women have when we are not immediately interested in someone that we are dating.
You know that one-our voices are relaxed, we don’t giggle as much or blush. We just kick back.
No, we don’t cross ‘em out, yet, we are not giddy and bubbly-eyed either. However, we might like
‘em enough to date them again-that kind of emotion. That’s how you’d better play this game with
Chad if you are to protect your delicate heart.”

I looked at it like this.
Wasn’t it just last season that Evelyn, Jennifer, Royce and Suzie attended a party at a house
in Miami that was allegedly given by Chad?
At that very same party, didn’t Evelyn, Jennifer, Royce and Suzie rag on the party?
If my memory serves me correct, (via Twitter) didn’t Chad post something cryptic regarding that
whole situation-expressing how pissed he was that they would put him on blast like that?

No, that’s not to say that between that time and now (this season) he couldn’t have honestly
checked up on Evelyn and took liking to her (I mean, she is an attractive girl).
But it’s called: strategy. Good for his popularity. Good for the popularity of the show.
Fair exchange is no robbery. Furthermore, I’m sure he studied her enough to know that she was
the perfect wide-receiver…

But understand where part of my thinking in this stems from-are you ready?

Chad is fun, jovial and seems like an all-around good-guy in addition to his (aforementioned)
attributes. But even if you aren’t a football fan, if you don’t know anything else about Chad;
you do know that he loves attention. And regardless the on or off season in football-he is going
to keep his name out there and significant, by all means necessary…

There’s nothing wrong with that (per se’), but my observation also stems from the fact that
he is a Capricorn.

“WHAT!” I know you yell. Hmm. But read on.

Can’t blame Evelyn for not knowing this part, or anyone else that doesn’t know “The Capricorn Way”
for that matter; but one thing about a Capricorn (man or woman), is that they are atop the pyramid
when it comes down to seizing an opportunity. Above any sign of the zodiac, they are major opportunists.

Don’t take that the wrong way.
Many people jump on the defense when referring to anyone as an “opportunist.”
Truth be told, everybody has a little bit of an opportunist in them, but regardless how great or
small the trait is; you can never outdo a Capricorn man or woman in seizing an opportunity where
these three things are at stake:

-Money
-Reputation
-Social status

Listen to me carefully, and in all seriousness…

If you ever think that you will outdo a Capricorn in seizing an opportunity where those three
things are concerned; you had better think again.

As well, if you think that a Capricorn would allow you to ruin or seize those three things from
them; you’d better think again-again.

That is their astrological house and they sit on the throne of it.

If you ever seized an opportunity over a Capricorn’s persistent sure-footedness, be rested and
assured that if it didn’t have anything to do with money, reputation and social-status; it didn’t
matter to them, so they most likely turned away from it and made you think that you won.

I’m sure that anyone reading this blog could vouch for the fact that a “Chad Johnson” (Capricorn):
ball player, handsome and rich, is right up Evelyn’s alley.
But as a woman, I think it’s sad when we allow our materialistic selves rule us and our heart and
heads cloud our thinking.
Yet, when things don’t go our way, we immediately point the finger at the guy and make him the bad
guy, when, in this case-the cards are all on the table:

She got popular show right now.
(Chad loves his popularity).
She’s been with a ball player before.
(Chad is a ball player).

As a woman on top of her game (not even knowing “The Capricorn Way”), she knows enough about his
“Mr. Popularity” personality enough, that not only should she not be so giddy and impressed by a pair
of LV studded boots, life-sized roses and flowers, a trip to Cincinnati, and fun in Spain
(as posted all across the internet of the two of them).

That’s not to say that she should not have be grateful, but let her tell it-with the high life that
she has lived; all of that shouldn’t have come as much as a surprise to her.

Furthermore, the cost of all that he’s done so far, is a drop in a bucket on his salary and is in no way,
commensurate with the increase in his popularity, and income from all this during this off-season.
It increases his worth-regardless if whatever team he plays on-he will always be good for publicity-that
even puts him on top of the game of the game and all other football players.
Strategy.
He knows what he’s doing.
Strategy.
She is good prey.
He knows when he’s doing.
He “got game” countless times over the game of football.
She: ‘aint got no game.
And when you’ve got that much mouth and sass-you had better have game, in order to recognize game,
if you have no substance to back you up…

Despite the fact that she “claims” that she’s okay with them being just “friends” and she likes
being single, that’s only because he hasn’t given her the okay to be claimed by him.
Because according to how she presents herself on that show-if she could-she would.

Reality shows are cool for people who just don’t mind being out there, but in having “game,” a woman
who is divorced from a ball player and hangs in ball-player wives circles, parties all the time etc.;
she couldn’t meet a pro-player (right now-since this show) that would take her adoration for him-being
anything more than something she would have for the next ball player that would have her.

It’s just all out there.

Don’t get me wrong, there is some ball player out there that would put all that aside and let her have
her way-live that life again that she wants. But I seriously doubt it would be Chad-he is politicking
and polishing his popularity, status, reputation and income.

He’s done his homework on her-right at the push of his remote control.
She just hasn’t done hers on him (and there is enough to know even if you don’t know “The Capricorn Way.”
That is…if you “got game”).
Doing homework and “having game…” if you noticed in that Skype date, he already established his dominance
in the situation (having studied her firecracker personality).
That fly at the mouth talk was not going to fly with him. He put the smack down on that early.
She had no choice but to call it “cute”/”blow for blow” (or whatever she referred to it as).
Because he’s already done his homework; he knows what she would like to have from him and with him-so he
knows that he is free to set the tone of the “relafriendship” (is what we’ll call it). But more importantly,
he already knows the game; she’s just running with the ball.

MORE FROM THIS WRITER: http://www.angelasherice.com




In spite of how righteous, sound, spiritual, or philosophic we are-still, we are only human.
Part of being human is recognizing that we are emotional beings first.
Despite how emotional restrained many of us can appear to be (and give off to others) we are
still emotional beings-we cannot escape that.
Emotion is our innateness naturalness.
Thinking, rationale and logic are not apart of our naturalness-and all come with age and experience.
We have to learn to think.
We have to learn to rationalize.
We have to learn logic.
We don’t have to learn how to feel-we just feel.
That being said, naturally, we are more apt to rethink our (intellectual) beliefs and what
we think quicker than our (emotional) deep-seated feelings, despite the fact we can give off the
impression that we can…

As I was watching an episode of “The Game,” there was a part in it where Tasha Mack was having
a pow-wow with Melanie. Melanie was ranting on about her disdain for a girl in the segment (Jazz).
She had some deep-rooted feelings where Jazz is concerned, because (if you follow the show),
Jazz not only slept with Melanie’s (then boyfriend-now husband: Derwin), a popular football player;
but additionally, Jazz happened to have snagged herself a football player from Derwin’s same football
team-who married her.
As a result of this, it brought Jazz into a club called “The Sunbeams” who consist of the player’s
wives (a kind of “sorority” of some sort).

Melanie and Jazz’s exchange:

Melanie: What the hell do you think you’re doing?
Jazz: I believe it’s called stunt’n
Melanie: No what it’s called is misleading these girls down the wrong path.
Jazz: Excuse me?
Melanie: Yeah, today was suppose to be about uplifting these girls and setting
an example for them but instead you have been running around here thinking it’s okay to sleep with
everyone and shake their ass in music videos.
Jazz: Sleep around, wait, is this about Derwin? Is he still talking about me?
That is so cute.
Melanie: What?! No, this has nothing to do with Derwin. It’s about you convincing
these girls there’s some future in them objectifying themselves.
Jazz: Well, that’s weird because it seems that my future is almost identical to yours.
You married a football player, I married a football player. You’re a Sunbeam. I’m a Sunbeam.
At the end of the day, I’m sitting at the same table as you. Actually no, not true. I’m sitting at the
autograph table unlike you.
Melanie: Excuse me?
Jazz: And you call yourself a role model? You’re nothing but a fake ass, insecure,
wannabe doctor, who enjoys bringing down other women to build yourself up. And I tell you what…my
background may be a little skanky but I’m a skank that keeps it 100. Now if you’ll excuse me,
“Little Skitzo” is waiting.

(Jazz walks away and in steps Tasha Mack):

Melanie: Can you believe her?
Tasha Mack: Mmm hmm. I love it that girl got HEART.
Melanie: Tasha, how could you say that?
Tasha Mack: Oh, come on. Come on Melanie, you know you had that coming-the way
you’ve been treating her. You lucky she didn’t didn’t whoop yo’ ass a long time ago because if she
had asked me, I probably would’ve helped her too.
Melanie: What? How could you defend her, she practically slept her way into the Sunbeams.
Tasha Mack: Okay. Don’t make me remind you of your freaky little tendencies Mrs.
“Trey Wiggs/Hop-in-the-Bed with Malik-Jerome!” You ain’t nobodies Saint, okay? Because at the end of
the day we all got here the same way: either giving up the cooch or pushing somebody up out the cooch.
So you remember that the next time you go judging somebody.

I love this show.
I have a good time watching it.
When I watch television, I don’t watch “channel zero.”
Naturally, just as a part who I am as a person, there are times where I do take my thinking cap off but a
situation on television will make me think.
This was one such episode.

It resonated with me because we all need this Tasha Mack (here in this episode) in our lives.
That voice of reason…
That voice of reason is a God-send, just God-awesome.

That voice of reason is that person in our lives (a friend)- a real friend-not the kind where you have
“weird” energy between one other; hidden resentment, competitiveness or a combative relationship where
every time you say “A” they are already contemplating “B.” Yet, in spite of, you guys are still “friends”
(for whatever reason). That’s not the kind of friend I’m talking about, that voice of reason that we need,
cannot come from energy like that.

That voice of reason can only come from a person who truly loves you-without incident, unconditionally.
The friendship or closeness that you share is pure-total care for you-with your best interest at heart,
even when you are not around. Only that kind of mirror (Tasha to Melanie) being turned to your face can come
from and be respected by you, from somebody who is true-blue. You’re more apt to re-think and listen, because
you know they aren’t being spiteful to you.

They may not always agree with what you think or feel, yet they do not always seek to disagree with what
you think or feel either…And can turn a mirror to you, or provide you with sound reasons why, or why not.

They know you so well, that when your emotions take over, they become that voice or reason: that logical, rational
side that (because of our deep-seated emotions about a thing), they can save us, as well as other people from harm
that we can cause ourselves (in the long run) as well as the damage we can do to others-simply because our emotions
got in the way.

When our deep-seated emotions are in the way, mostly based upon what we feel about a person; we tend to judge them,
condemn them and scrutinize them in ways to suit or ego and comfort our feelings. We even take it a step further by
justifying our feelings based upon what a horrible person that other person is (or was).

Yet, like in this segment Tasha Mack, read her [not the “Riot Act”] but rather: “The Declaration of Independence.”
And in turn, Melanie picked her face up off the floor and was forced to see herself-in the same light that she shined
on Jazz. Though different, it was the “same difference. “

Did you notice how after that voice of reason presented itself to Melanie, the ladies came together and proceeded
to have a wonderful night? Sure, I know this is a television show, but the same thing happens in real-life, only
after sense is made of a thing or a voice of reason steps in.

Do you have a voice of reason in your life?
You know, that real friend (again): not the kind where you have “weird” energy between one other; hidden resentment,
competitiveness or a combative relationship where every time you say “A” they are already contemplating “B.” Yet, in
spite of, you guys are still “friends” for one reason or another.

Only you would know if you have a real friend/voice of reason in your life, because only you know whether or not
your thoughts and feelings are safe with them.

If you do have at least one-you are lucky, because we all have errors in our ways and our train of thought.

We need that voice of reason to re-direct us at those times when our deep-seated emotions are telling our egos
that our thinking is correct and justifiable, when in fact, our emotions are what needs to be put in check-so
that we cannot only free ourselves, but other people as well.



et cetera